


Modern Legend

by alatarmaia4



Series: Vessel 'Verse [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Children in Dangerous Situations, Gen, It Turns Out Okay I Promise, Loki Means Well But Makes Some Questionable Decisions, Loki's Kids, Memory Loss, Past Child Abuse, References to Norse Religion & Lore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:13:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 94,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6768385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alatarmaia4/pseuds/alatarmaia4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been over a decade since the end of the Second Wizarding War. All the major players are dead, or have made lives for themselves. Hogwarts is receiving a new generation of students, but the legacy of the one everyone thought was their savior isn't gone yet. And the history behind him is more complicated than anyone could have guessed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hogwarts' Hidden Students

**Author's Note:**

> SUP GUYS. I RETURN, VICTORIOUS, WITH A BRAND NEW STORY.
> 
> I seem to remember that a lot of you guys commented on how cute the kids' scenes were in The Accidental Vessel. You're in luck! With the kids, at least. Not so much the cuteness.
> 
> Norse mythology is dark as fuck.
> 
> This story takes place roughly eleven years after the end of The Accidental Vessel, btw! In that verse Fenris was physically around six, if you don't remember. So in this he's about eleven. Just so you know I am completely bullshitting how fast he physically ages.
> 
> Anyway, that means this story takes place somewhere around 2026, so let's hope this story remains accurate and we're still around then as a species and nobody ruins the planet. 
> 
> I'm also messing around with the canon next gen, mostly because I switched up a bunch of the endgame relationships! But most of those kids are too young to appear at this point.
> 
> With that small reminder, I leave you this chapter!

Fenris refused to think that he might have made a mistake.

Sure, going to boarding school where he was away from home for most of the year was a daunting prospect. And his dad had already warned him that the kind of magic they had - 'they' being his family and species in general - was different than the kind of magic they taught at Hogwarts.

But he could do this.

He was prepared. He'd _known_ what he was signing up for.

And he was absolutely not having second thoughts.

Fenris sighed, leaning further into the surprisingly comfortable seat of the otherwise empty train carriage. It was full of sunlight - the window didn't have a shade, but that was fine with him.

The empty carriage was his real problem, because it was leaving him alone with his thoughts and he shouldn't be doubting himself already when they'd pulled away from the station five minutes ago.

 _You can always call me, y'know,_ his dad had told him. _And Muriel still works there, so you can always go to her if you need help.  
_

Muriel spent most summers at their house, or at least she had for the past few years. Ever since his dad had stopped going to Hogwarts and come home looking like he had before. It was reassuring that he'd have someone he knew so well at the school with him.

But still...

Fenris stretched his legs out as far as they would go. It was an awkward habit that asserted itself whenever he felt out of place.

Only _he_ could manage to feel out of place without anyone else around.

Of course, just as he was thinking that, the door slid open.

"You don't mind if we come in, do you?" The girl at the door said. "No one in any of the other compartments will let us in." She was already in the compartment by the time she finished talking, and even if Fenris had wanted to say no her luggage was blocking the door from closing.

There was an identical, but much more exasperated-looking boy behind her. " _Lillian,_ you can't just barge in here-"

"Well, it's the only compartment that doesn't have ten people in it already!"

"I don't...mind," Fenris said, realizing halfway through speaking that neither of them were listening to him.

"It's _rude_ ," the boy said.

"And where are we going to sit otherwise, huh?"

"You could at least ask-"

"I did! He's alright with it! Right?"

Suddenly they were both looking at Fenris, and for two people with brown eyes they felt like penetrating stares.

"Um, I guess it's okay?"

Lillian was hauling her trunk up into the luggage rack by the time he finished saying 'guess'.

"I'm sorry about my sister," the boy said. "She doesn't really know when to slow down. I'm Lysander."

"What's your name?" Lillian had plopped herself down into the other window seat and was looking at Fenris expectantly.

"Fabian," he said. _Fenris_ was too strange - he'd agreed with his dad on that. Added to the fact that a werewolf had been running around with a bunch of maniacs only a decade or so previously with a very similar name, a fake one had been safer.

 _I used one, and nothing horrible ever happened because of it,_ his dad told him. _But if you befriend anybody you'd better find a good way to tell them because humans generally don't take it well when you lie to them for an extended period of time. Well, neither does anybody, but if you make friends then I assume you're going to care what they think._

"Mum has a friend who's mum had a brother named Fabian," Lysander said, taking the seat next to his sister. "I think he died in the first war, though."

"World War One?" Fenris asked, wondering if he had things right.

The look they both gave him made him shrink back into the seat.

"No," Lillian said. "The First Wizarding War. _Obviously._ "

"Well, maybe he's Muggleborn," Lysander said. "Are you?"

"Um-" What was a Muggleborn?

"He means were your parents wizards," Lillian explained.

"Oh." Well, technically..."No."

"So you wouldn't know about the First _or_ Second Wizarding War," Lysander said pointedly, more to his sister than to Fenris.

"I'm _sorry,_ " Lillian said huffily. "Do you at least know what House you want to be in?"

"I don't know the Houses all that well," Fenris admitted quietly.

"There's Ravenclaw," Lysander said. "For the smart ones. But I think most of the time it's people who aren't smart like people think of smart."

"That doesn't make any sense," Lillian told him.

"Aren't there four?" Fenris could sense a potential argument brewing.

"There's Gryffindor, too," Lillian said. "For brave people. And Hufflepuff."

"Hufflepuff's always underestimated," Lysander said. "People always forget how many amazing people came out of Hufflepuff."

"Like Tonks," Lillian said. "She's an Auror and _last_ year she got an Order of Merlin for taking down this group of people trying to imitate Death Eaters and it was _awesome._ "

"She really likes Auror Tonks," Lysander said, leaning towards Fenris as if that would make the conversation secret.

"So what?" Lillian said hotly. "She's cool! And her son's gonna be at Hogwarts!"

"She has a son?" Fenris asked, deciding not to remind them that he didn't know what an Auror was. Lillian immediately brightened.

"Yeah, there was this thing in the papers about him before, 'cause he almost got kidnapped once. 'Cause she's so high up in the Auror force so the people she was trying to track down tried to threaten him. And he's only a year ahead of us!"

"Next thing you know, you'll be signing Teddy Lupin trading cards," Lysander teased. "What next? Are you going to buy a poster of Tonks and get mum to enchant it so it looks like him?"

"No! Shut _up,_ Lysander." Lillian shoved at Lysander's shoulder lightly.

"What about the fourth House?" Fenris asked. They'd wandered off the subject of Houses, but he was still curious.

"That's Slytherin," Lysander told him. "Some people still don't like Slytherin, because so many people from that House were Death Eaters. Um, I mean they were on the other side in the Second War. The bad guys."

"Slytherin was a bad guy, though," Lillian said. "The original one. He didn't like Muggleborns 'cause they weren't born from magical families."

"They just get a bad rap, though," Lysander said. "Slytherin's been dead for ages. The original one, I mean. He's not still going around telling people to hate Muggleborns. Slytherins are just ambitious and sneaky and that makes people not like them."

"I'm going to be in Ravenclaw," Lillian announced. "Like mum. I'm smart enough and then I'll get smarter and be able to pass the Auror test easily."

"You want to be an Auror?" Fenris was still hesitant to ask what an Auror _was._

"Of course!" Lillian seemed scandalized at the idea that he would question her ambition.

"She's always wanted to be an Auror," Lysander said. "If 'always' is since she was four."

"Being an Auror is _cool,_ Lysander."

Fenris didn't remember humans being as in-his-face as this.

* * *

He had to turn down the offer of a card game with cards that exploded if you didn't stack them carefully enough ( _no thank you_ ) and Fenris was really glad neither of them had sat next to him, because it meant he could stretch out across the whole seat without getting worried about crowding someone.

"You're really quiet," Lillian told him at one point.

"I know," Fenris said. _Jormungand's quieter than I am._

"You're really, _really,_ quiet." She repeated.

"I know."

"How come?"

" _Lillian,_ " Lysander hissed in what he probably thought was a quiet voice.

* * *

"What's your wand made out of?" Lillian asked him later.

"...Why?"

"I'm just curious."

"Beech," Fenris said after a moment.

"And?"

"...Unicorn hair?"

That seemed to be what Lillian was looking for. "That's cool," she said. "What did Ollivander say when you got it?"

"I don't remember...?" Was he supposed to remember what the wandmaker had said?

"Mine's chestnut and phoenix feather." Lillian went off on a mostly rambling story of how she'd looked up the symbolism of it with her mum's help, and how there wasn't much written on people who had chestnut and _phoenix_ wands but that was probably because phoenix feather wands were so rare and sometimes chestnut meant the owner was a good flier which she hoped was true because she'd never flown before but she'd like to even though first years weren't allowed to be on their House teams, which was stupid, right?

"I guess so?"

* * *

It was getting dark out, and the lights inside the carriage weren't enough to stop Fenris from uncomfortably shifting to the side of the seat furthest from the window.

It wasn't that he had a problem with the dark.

He was only a _little_ afraid of it.

There were lamps outside of the train as well, when they eventually disembarked. Fenris still shifted uncomfortably, wishing they could just _go inside_ as fast as possible.

The boats they were apparently supposed to take up to the school made him very, very glad it hadn't been _Jormungand_ who had wanted to come. The dark water made him nervous, too; Fenris gingerly clambered into the closest boat and tried not to look too closely at what might be under the surface.

The giant man leading them across the lake didn't really help his nerves.

He didn't like people who loomed over him like that.

* * *

They were led up a winding path, to a huge pair of double doors, and then inside to another huge pair by Muriel, who smiled at Fenris when she saw him but didn't say anything, since they were both surrounded by a crowd of eleven-year-olds.

Fenris waved, trying to be subtle about it. Muriel's presence was reassuring - and she taught Transfiguration, which meant there was one class he wouldn't have to worry as much about asking for help in.

"If you don't mind, could you all line up in two rows?" Muriel called out. "Two equal rows, no, a few of you from over here will need to go to the other line. There we go. Alright, everyone ready?"

There were a few nods and a few more hesitant looks.

"Chin up, all of you, you'll all be fine." Muriel turned. "Follow me, please."

The second pair of doors led into a hall that was absolutely _packed_ with people.

They were all watching the group of first-years be led in. Fenris tried not to fidget under the attention and looked around the hall instead. Candles hovered in the air, creating a massive golden-yellow glow that lit the hall as well as a chandelier would have - or better, maybe. Fenris wondered where the wax went when it dripped off of the candles. Did it just fall onto whoever was sitting underneath them?

The ceiling was what caught his attention. It looked like it was open to the sky, constellations sprawling across the invisible rafters. It was still pitch-black outside, but from inside the candlelit hall it was less intimidating.

There was a ratty-looking witch's hat that was sitting on a stool in front of the teacher's table. Fenris assumed it was the teacher's table, at least - there were only adults sitting there, all wearing colorful robes that didn't look anything like the black student ones.

There was an imperious-looking woman at the center of the table in a thronelike chair, spectacles perched on her nose. She looked like she'd been there for ages and wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon.

Fenris's attention was drawn back to the Hat when a rip at the brim opened and it began to sing.

_...What?_

He had a feeling he knew why his dad hadn't told him about this bit.

 _Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor,_  
Fair Ravenclaw, from glen,  
Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad,  
Shrewd Slytherin, from fen.

_They shared a wish, a hope, a dream,_   
_They hatched a daring plan_   
_To educate young sorcerers_   
_Thus Hogwarts School began._

That at least explained what Lysander and Lillian had meant by the 'original' Slytherin. Fenris wondered what people had done before there was a school. Had they just taught themselves?

 _For Hufflepuff, hard workers were_  
Most worthy of admission;  
And power-hungry Slytherin  
Loved those of great ambition.  


'Power-hungry' sounded a bit ominous. Though if Slytherin had the reputation Lillian said he did, Fenris guessed it wasn't really that much of a surprise.

_...Yet how to pick the worthy ones  
When they were dead and gone?_

_Twas Gryffindor who found the way,_   
_He whipped me off his head_   
_The founders put some brains in me_   
_So I could choose instead!_

Who decided that a sentient _Hat_ was the best way to decide where students should go?

Fenris decided to ask Muriel if all of Gryffindor's decisions had been like that.

"Listen up, please!" Muriel called as the Hat fell silent. "When I call your name, could you please come up here, and the Hat will decide where you belong." She unrolled a long piece of parchment. "Abercrombie, Lydia!"

A girl who looked nearly as nervous as Fenris felt climbed up to the stool and let the Hat be put on her head. Fenris watched curiously as the Hat shifted on her head. The wrinkles in it almost made up a face, which moved as though in deep thought.

His dad had already told him about the Hat - it didn't look into memories, per se, but it did skim over them to get a judge of a person's character.

Fenris was not looking forward to that bit, but at least he knew that the Hat wouldn't be able to see anything he didn't want it to see.

Or anything he didn't remember.

Fenris squashed the thought back into the recesses of his brain and tried to pay attention to the Sorting of 'Boot, Justin'. Someone tapped on his shoulder and he jumped badly enough that some of the people around him looked over.

"Calm down," Lillian hissed from behind him. "It's just me. What House do you think you're going to be in?"

"I don't know," Fenris whispered back. "The Hat's supposed to decide."

"Guess," Lillian huffed. "I wish they'd get to the L's faster. What's your last name?"

"It's an L name."

"Oh, okay. Would it go after or before Lovegood?"

Muriel calling for _Gonzales, Marisol_ interrupted Fenris's answer. "After," he told Lillian under his breath. "It's L-y."

"Huh. That's funny. How's it spelled?"

"Quiet down," said a boy with a blue tie at the table next to them. Lillian made a rude noise that was probably accompanied by her sticking her tongue out, but Fenris just turned back to the front, feeling blood rush to his cheeks.

A minute later, Lillian hissed, "I think I see Teddy Lupin _,_ " and Fenris couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "He's got ginger hair look at it _that's so cool._ "

After several more students joining the tables to wild cheers and clapping, Muriel got to the Ls. "Lovegood, Lillian!"

Behind him, Fenris heard Lillian heave a relieved sigh. He glanced back at her, puzzled, but she was already scooting in between people and elbowing them out of her way to get to the front.

The Hat sat on her head for all of five seconds before declaring, "SLYTHERIN!"

The table to Fenris's left clapped loudly, but Fenris could see that Lillian looked almost disappointed when she joined them.

Lysander got called up next - apparently there weren't many people with last names that started with L. He was sorted into Hufflepuff just as quickly, the table on the other side of the Slytherin table bursting into enthusiastic applause.

And then-

"Lysmith, Fabian!" Muriel had a small grin on her face that was probably because of the last name. Fenris didn't need to push to get up to the stool; enough students had already been Sorted that the rest of them could move out of the way easily.

The Hat dropped over his head far enough that it slumped over his face - the brim blocked most of his view of the Hall. Then, it was like a voice was speaking directly into his mind.

_Well, well. And here I thought Hogwarts had gotten its fill of unusual guests._

Fenris jumped again, hands gripping the stool.

_No, no, don't worry. I can tell you don't want me prying. Let me see..you're quite brave, coming this far on your own without much family to support you._

_It wasn't_ that _scary_ , Fenris thought defensively.

 _Indeed not?_ The Hat sounded amused. _You are quite used to being around family. And you'd do almost anything for them. Oh...I see you're used to a more difficult life than you've had recently! You're much older than you look, aren't you?_

Fenris knew he was pretty old - probably older than the bespectacled woman.

 _Most definitely,_ the Hat said. _Now let me think...you'd do quite well in-_

"HUFFLEPUFF!"


	2. Religions and Gods (and Dogs)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I skip around a lot, but I was originally planning for this story to be a loosely connected series of ficlets! And then I realized the subject matter was too intense to skip stuff and vaguely reference later, which means in the beginning stuff like school is the only stuff that ends up getting skipped.
> 
> Sorry if that's confusing.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

He had a nightmare the first night at Hogwarts.

It wasn't the kind of nightmare where he woke up thrashing and making noise. It was the kind where he dreamed of darkness and something trapping him in place and woke up frozen and clutching at where his dad or one of his brothers should have been.

The dorm wasn't as dark as his dream had been. There was light filtering in through the open door - but still, it was dark enough that for a minute he wasn't sure whether he was awake or not.

Then he registered that he was in a smaller bed with yellow curtains hanging on the sides and a black-and-gold blanket that was draped over part of his legs. He must have kicked it off at some point. Breathing shakily, Fenris reached down and pulled the blanket up, wrapping it around himself so that the slight chill of the dorm was kept out.

He didn't like the cold, or the dark, but there weren't a lot of windows in the Hufflepuff dorm for light to come in.

At least they weren't as far underground as the dungeons.

Fenris tugged the blanket more securely around his shoulders and concentrated on breathing.

He could make out the shape of Lysander in the bed next to his, curled up under the blankets. Fenris resisted the temptation to wake him up. He didn't need company _that_ badly.

It was just that normally when he woke up from a nightmare, the other four people in the room were either in the same situation or hadn't gone to sleep in the first place.

Underneath the blanket, Fenris rubbed at his wrists. Even after the 'good' nightmares he still felt like he was trapped, a phantom pull on his limbs. He knew there was nothing there, but...

He wished he knew where Muriel's office was. She, at least, he wouldn't have to worry about waking up. He knew angels didn't sleep, even if his dad did sometimes, but Fenris suspected that it was just for him and his brothers' benefit.

He suddenly, achingly wished that one of them was there with him. He couldn't go back to sleep on his own. Fenris turned over, but all moving around did was wake him up even more.

He closed his eyes and tried to pretend that there was someone else there with him.

* * *

Fenris was lucky enough to have Transfiguration first period, which meant class with Muriel.

It also meant his day looking up a little bit, despite the fact that he'd woken up so early. It didn't seem that difficult to find the class, either, despite Fenris needing to find his way through half the castle to get there.

"Transfiguration," Muriel told the class of first years, "is one of the trickiest arts there is. I don't mean to put you off - it's an amazing art, and I've not had a single student fail my class since I started teaching here. But it is the art of changing one thing into another, which is why we start small. For example..."

She held up a match. "Matches into needles. Basic spellwork. The overall shape remains the same, and it's only the material that really changes. But you are still taking wood and transforming it into metal, giving it an entirely different purpose. I'd say that's pretty amazing, isn't it?"

Fenris could practically feel the excitement of the class. Next to him, Lysander's foot was tapping at the floor, and his eyes were shining.

* * *

"And she goes and gives us theoretical work," Lysander complained. "It's such an anticlimax."

"I think she's easing us into it," Fenris said. "It's only the first day of school."

"I know," Lysander said moodily. "I was just really excited for Transfiguration."

Fenris could have guessed that without Lysander telling him. "We'll get to it eventually," he said.

"Hey, Fabian!" A shout interrupted whatever Lysander had been about to say. Lillian shoved through the crowd, attempting to sling an arm over Fenris's shoulder. He leaned to the side to avoid it. "Aw, c'mon."

"Don't touch him if he doesn't want to be," Lysander said. "What do you want?"

Lillian was beaming, a contrast to her disappointment the other night. "I just wanted to say hi," she said. "I haven't seen you guys in ages. What classes do you have?"

"I think we have Herbology together," Fenris said.

"No, we've got Herbology with the Gryffindors," Lysander corrected him.

"I guess we'll find out later anyway." Lillian dismissed the topic at the speed of light. "How was your first class? Was it fun?"

"We just did theoretical work," Lysander said.

"That's boring."

"I _know_."

"Hey," Lillian said, "You know there's this girl in my dorm who's pagan?"

"She's what?" Fenris almost stopped dead, and had to remind himself to keep walking.

"Pagan," Lillian repeated. "I mean, I know a lot of the _really_ old pureblood families had certain gods they worshipped, but I didn't think anyone _did_ that anymore."

 _Oh._ Fenris had thought she'd meant something else entirely. Pagan _worshipper_ made a lot more sense.

"We used to," Lysander said. "Mum said Lovegoods have always been Ravenclaws because we used to have Athena as a patron, remember?"

"Isn't she a Greek god?" Fenris questioned.

"Yeah, but I don't think location has anything to do with who you can worship."

"If you do that," Fenris began, "why is it so-"

"Oh, we don't," Lillian interrupted him. "Our family _used_ to. It's sort of fallen out of practice, though. I dunno why."

"We could ask the history professor," Lysander suggested.

"The history professor is a ghost who died and didn't realize," Lillian said.

"What, um," Fenris cut in, "what about the girl? In your dorm? How do you know-"

"Oh, she's got this little thing set up." Lillan seemed all too glad to tell them about it. "She always leaves a little bit of her food during dinner and she did during breakfast, too. I think it's a sacrifice thing."

"Sacrificing to gods, you mean?" Lysander questioned. "Did she say to who?"

Lillian shook her head. "I think it might be that Norse thing going around."

That Norse thing.

"What Norse thing?" Fenris asked in what he hoped was a casually interested voice.

Lysander didn't seem as convinced as Lillian was. "It's just a thing that's been getting more popular recently," he said. "The old gods, you know. Those ones specifically. I don't know why."

"Maybe it's because they're the only ones who are real," Lillian said. "And they're reasserting themselves. 'Cause now they only have to go against Christianity and not a bunch of other little religions, right? 'Cause everywhere has its own gods?"

"I don't think so."

"There aren't just Norse gods," Fenris said. He'd barely stopped himself from saying 'us'.

"You sound pretty sure of that," Lysander said.

"Are you pagan?" Lillian asked.

"I don't worship anyone," Fenris answered. It was the safest answer. "But saying they're the real ones is like saying everyone else is wrong."

Lillian frowned. "Maybe they are wrong," she said, most likely unwilling to be proven wrong.

"People believe in gods for a reason," Fenris said. "All of them exist. Probably," he added hastily.

"If you say so," Lysander replied.

* * *

When he looked for it, Fenris could see hints of the 'popularity' of Norse paganism.

Ancient Runes was, apparently, the most popular class. People had runes inked onto the top of their papers, clumsily sewn onto clothing or bags, scrawled underneath names in books. Some people wore them on pendants.

Some people wore Mjolnir necklaces, the hammer-shaped pendant hanging in plain view on their chests.

Fenris avoided those people.

He knew they didn't know - _couldn't_ know - but it still rubbed him the wrong way. The idea of people idolizing Thor like that, much less wearing a symbol of his hammer, seemed weirdly improbable until he was confronted with it.

He was curious if any of the population of Hogwarts was a follower of Loki, but that was even weirder to think about.

* * *

"I got a book of Norse myths from the library," Lillian announced one weekend when they were in the library, coming around the corner with a leather-bound tome.

 _Oh, no._ Fenris tried not to look as nervous as he felt.

"Why?" Lysander was slumped over the table, not making an effort to touch any of his homework.

"I was curious." Lillian sat down next to him, opening the book. Next to each other like that, the only easy way to tell them apart was by Lillian's braid. "Aren't you?"

"Only a little bit," Lysander said. "I didn't know the library even had books about those."

"I only found it on accident. It's lucky no one else checked it out first." Lillian was scanning the table of contents. "It doesn't say where their creation myth is."

"It's probably the first one," Lysander said. Fenris hoped it wasn't and Lillian would get bored and discard it.

Lillian flipped a few pages. "Oh, this might be it."

Damnit.

Lillian read a bit of it silently, then giggled. "Ginnungagap. That sounds stupid."

"It's just a Norse word. You can't insult languages like that." Lysander seemed genuinely offended on behalf of the hypothetical people who still spoke Old Norse.

Well. Not so hypothetical, since Fenris did.

"I'll insult languages as much as I want." Lillian giggled again. "Ginnungagap." Fenris had to resist the urge to correct her pronunciation. Normal eleven-year-olds didn't know the correct pronunciation of the chasm in between two of the nine realms.

"What's - whatever that is?" Lysander asked, giving into curiosity.

"It says it's a gap in between two of the...realms?" Lillian frowned. "What realms?"

"Maybe they assume you already know all about the realms," Lysander suggested.

"That's stupid. Maybe I checked this book out to learn something about the realms." Lillian flipped wildly through the book, then jammed her finger in between two pages near the middle. "Hey, look at this!"

'This' was an illustration.

Of Yggdrasil, to be specific.

Fenris leaned in, curious despite himself. He'd only seen it mapped out once or twice, when his dad was still teaching them about the World Tree. This illustration was considerably more elaborate than sketchy line branches and sideways circles with scrawled-out names that barely fit inside them. Asgard - of course - was at the top.

It _was_ technically at the top of Yggdrasil, but Fenris thought they'd been milking that and calling themselves the best for way too long.

He decided to try and distract Lillian before she stumbled across something Loki-related. "Why is paganism being such a big thing now, anyway?"

Lillian squinted at him for a moment, like she was trying to figure out what she was asking. Lysander was the one who answered.

"It's because of all the Loki conspiracy theories."

Fenris blinked. "The what?"

Lysander sat up. "Okay, so - the second wizarding war, right?"

"...Yes?"

"Well, anyway," Lysander said, "there's a lot of Death Eater trial records where they claimed they were fighting against Loki to save the wizarding world."

Fenris pulled a face at that. His dad had been on the _good_ side. Which probably happened less often than his dad pretended, but still.

"Yeah, that was basically everyone else's reaction," Lysander said. "But a lot of people think they were telling the truth, because when they asked the other death eaters they all said that they had been fighting Loki _along_ with the Order of the Phoenix."

"He doesn't know what the Order of the Phoenix is, dummy," Lillian said.

"Yes I _do,_ " Fenris said defensively. His dad had told him about the Order. "So everyone thinks Loki was working with the Order?"

"I dunno," Lysander said. "But people were starting to believe it more, which is why everyone's so interested in Norse mythology. People have talked about how they've seen him. A lot of people think he was the one who killed You-Know-Who."

"No one knows who did it," Lillian told Fenris. "Some people thought it was Harry Potter, but more people think it was Loki because the Alley was full of people but no one could remember what he looked like."

"They guy who killed Whatsisface?" Fenris remembered at the last second that humans were weird about saying Voldemort's name.

"Yeah."

"Some people think there were a couple times where he pretended to be Harry Potter," Lillian said.

Lysander scoffed while Fenris tried desperately to look reasonably surprised and/or shocked by the insinuation. "Really?"

"That's not true," Lysander said. "Harry Potter's dead, anyway. If Loki wanted to impersonate him, wouldn't he have stopped that from happening?"

"Maybe he's the one who killed Harry Potter."

"Um," said Fenris quickly, "I think I left my book in the dorms." He stood up. If he had to listen to this any longer he was going to start laughing and that would raise a lot of awkward questions.

"What do you need your book for?" Lillian looked puzzled.

"Homework. I, uh, didn't finish it." Fenris hightailed it out of the library before they could question him any further.

He wondered what his dad would think of all of _that._

* * *

Fenris got the chance to ask when he went home for Christmas.

His dad laughed for at _least_ five minutes straight.

"That's fucking hilarious."

"Would you stop swearing for at least tonight?" Hel looked exasperated.

"What, am I being inappropriate?" His dad scoffed. "They're old enough."

"It's almost Christmas. At least censor yourself for Slepnir's birthday."

"I've been to much ruder birthday parties."

"Who's?" Slepnir asked curiously. His dad just laughed again.

"That's a story for some other time."

"Story or not," Hel said, "I have to go out for a little bit."

That made Slepnir instantly perk up. "Can I come?"

"I'm afraid not."

"You're buying presents, aren't you?" Fenris slid off his chair.

"That remains to be seen," Hel said, which meant yes. "Are you going to ask to come because you want to see what your brother might be getting, or because you haven't gotten him anything yourself?"

Fenris pretended he didn't notice Slepnir's jokingly accusatory stare. "One of those," he said, which made Hel smile.

"Come along, then."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Fenris asked as they walked down the snowy street. He wasn't as cold as most of the humans around them seemed to be - Jotunn ancestry came in handy, in times like this - but Hel had still reminded him to wear a heavy coat so as not to draw attention.

"I'm meeting up with someone first," Hel said.

"Who?"

"Just an old friend." Hel flashed him a grin. "I do have those, you know."

Fenris schooled his face into something he hoped didn't look that surprised. "I never said you didn't."

"You're not that good of a liar yet."

They had to slip through Yggdrasil to get where they were going. His dad had obviously shown Hel the way - Fenris could tell that they crossed, briefly, through her realm. He knew he wasn't in any danger, but he still held tightly to her arm until they finished crossing.

After that, Hel led him to a restaurant, as it turned out; they breezed past the waitress in the front and joined a table where two people were already seated.

Not people - Fenris could tell that much.

Two gods.

The grim one smiled when Hel sat down. "You've brought a guest." Fenris couldn't tell whether he was upset or happy about it.

"There are two of you," Hel said. "I figured you wouldn't mind."

"Oh, of course not!" The woman said, flapping her hand. There were small, white flowers braided into her hair like a crown, and the same ones looped around her wrists. They stayed in place like a bracelet, but they still looked alive to Fenris. There were also two very small ones in the pocket of the grim one. "Which one of your brothers is this?"

Fenris realized after a moment that the question had been addressed to him. "I'm Fenris."

"Lovely," the grim one said dryly. "I suppose we can order now?"

"Dear, don't pretend you only came here for the food," the woman tutted. "It's polite to wait until the rest of the party arrives."

"It's fine," Hel said, amusement clear. "What kind of flowers are those, though? I didn't think many grew in winter."

The woman seemed to instantly cheer up. "Sweet Alyssum," she said, holding up the wrist with the living bracelet. "They're nice, aren't they? Although in weather like this it's hard to get anything to grow. My mother _really_ overreacts sometimes. She claims I left too early this year."

Her mother? Fenris glanced outside at the snow piled on the edges of the streets. _Oh._

"I don't see the issue with leaving a little early," Hades said. "Especially not considering how she roped you into leaving early last spring."

"That's what _I_ said, but you know mother, she gets possessive some years."

"Is it because of what happened in 2010?" Hel asked.

"Probably," Persephone said. "Everyone got a bit jumpy then, especially after what happened with that archangel."

"Everyone got a bit of an influx around then," Hades said, sounding like he was complaining. "Honestly, I've had trouble enough. _Some_ spirits just won't do what their told. 'Oh, it must be a mistake, I don't want this'. Well, figure out your religion before you die, then."

"I don't get many of those," Hel admitted. "Most of Scandanavia is Christian now, anyway."

"Don't remind me. Half the spirits I get keep insisting that they're supposed to be in Heaven."

"Those spirits aren't that annoying," Persephone said. "He just gets annoyed because the guards keep calling him down for every little disturbance. All you've got to do is offer an alternative - I mean, compared to Punishment, the Asphodel Fields are practically a vacation!"

Fenris could hear the capitol P, and decided that Punishment was probably exactly what it sounded like.

"Even so," Hades replied, but the need to complain about it seemed to have receded a little.

"See," Hel said, "conversations like this make me remember why I _like_ having a realm for just one kind of dead."

"You've got multiple underworlds," Persephone reminded her.

"And it makes things simpler," Hel pointed out.

"I've no doubt that even if we did have multiple dead realms, I'd end up in charge of most of them," Hades said. "But we can hardly change it now."

"Allow me to gloat without pretending I'm trying to do you a favor, Hades."

A waitress arrived and delivered plates of food, though Fenris didn't remember anyone ever ordering anything. He ended up with a pizza that had been made in miniature. He didn't even know they _made_ pizza that small. Pizza itself was a pretty recent discovery.

"On the subject of the dead-" Hades began.

"If you bring up my father again," Hel said, "I am going to stab this fork into your hand."

"I was only curious."

" _Chaos_ ," Persephone said in a way that made it sound like a swear word. "Let that topic go! You don't even know if he's dead."

"Which is why I wished to ask," Hades said. "If he's avoiding the rest of his pantheon, and he will be-"

"What makes you so sure?" Hel asked, one eyebrow raised in a way that echoed Loki to a t. "A moment ago you thought he was dead."

"No one's ever certain when it comes to him," Hades replied. "Something which you know well, I'm sure. But the last time he attempted to avoid an entire pantheon, he went south."

"I assure you," Hel said. "Whatever he may be doing, dead or otherwise, I don't believe he has designs on Greece."

"Why would he?" Persephone questioned Hades. "Dear, you _know_ Hermes is gone, or at least temporarily and inconveniently not physically here. _He's_ the only reason Loki came south."

"I was just checking," Hades grumbled. "The last thing we need is more trouble. I'm sure Hera still hasn't forgiven him for the twelfth century."

"I don't think she has," Persephone said. "Then again, when has Hera forgiven anyone for anything?"

Fenris was dying to ask what had happened in the twelfth century, but he felt like a bit of an outsider in the conversation.

"Aside from irritating spirits, then," Hel said, "anything else interesting?"

"Not really," Hades said. "No one famous has died in ages - not famous or influential enough to make the Judgement Council, at least. The Council is getting a bit tedious. There are only so many people who qualify, after all, and we've gone through all the possible combinations of the members at this point."

"They're fine with repeating," Persephone said. "It's not as if they're not doing the same thing they always do."

Hades grumbled something under his breath about how _he_ minded, and then Hel started talking about something else to do with spirits and Hades ended up complaining about demigods and Fenris was distracted by something growling under Persephone's chair.

Persephone saw where he was looking. "Oh, don't mind him," she said, as a small, three-headed dog poked his heads out and looked up at Fenris curiously. "That's just Cerberus. I thought he deserved some time out of the Underworld, but of course having him this small is much more convenient. Isn't he cute?"

Fenris nodded. Cerberus was pretty cute, for a tiny three-headed dog that stopped dead souls from escaping the afterlife. He was chewing on one of the chair legs.

"Whoops! No," Persephone scolded, scooping the dog into her arms easily. "Not chairs." Cerberus's right head just licked her arm. All three heads had tongues lolling, mouths in something like a doggy smile.

Fenris wasn't sure what the rest of the people were seeing, but it was probably a dog with just one head, considering the fact that no one was screaming or running or even pointing discreetly.

One woman at the next table over did sniff not-so-subtly in disapproval, and comment in what she probably thought was a whisper that Rottweilers were just violent dogs who should be put down.

Persephone was sitting very still and not-so-subtly glaring at the woman.

"Persephone," Hades said. "Please. We're in public." He was giving the woman a disdainful look himself, though.

"Save the godly fury for when we're gone," Hel said. "I'm trying to gather as little attention as possible."

Persephone was still giving the woman a dirty look. Fenris heard her mumble something about 'showing her _exactly_ how violent Rottweilers were'.

" _Dear_ ," Hades said placatingly, sounding like he was trying to persuade her not to do anything drastic.

"Perhaps we should leave you to this," Hel suggested. "I have other things to see to, anyway."

"Fair enough," Hades said reluctantly. "May we meet again. And good luck, Lokisdottir."

* * *

"Why did he wish you good luck?" Fenris asked when they were far away enough that he was sure Hades wouldn't hear.

"It's the polite thing to say to someone when you part," Hel told him.

Fenris could tell she was lying, but he didn't know why she would.

Persephone had wished _him_ good luck, too, calling him Lokison and tucking a small white flower - not the same kind she was wearing - behind his hear with a smile. He didn't know what the flower was for or why both of the other gods had switched to calling them by their last names, but he had a feeling it wasn't anything good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FORESHADOWING RETURNS WITH A VENGEANCE
> 
> I'm sorry but I have run these kids through the wringer pre-story and I am not nearly done with them
> 
> Btw, Hades and Persephone showed up because of this picture: (elvishness.tumblr.com/post/128436357271/(hades-persephone-cerberus-the-lap-dog))
> 
> Just edit out the parentheses and you should be good!


	3. More Dogs, Alternately, Help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really still in the 'exposition' phase, but I promise it'll get more interesting soon. Hang in here with me.
> 
> Also, some additional cuteness in the beginning.

When Fenris and Hel came back, a pudgy dog with black patches on her face greeted them at the door.

"Dad," Hel said, "Why is there a dog?"

"Don't be mean to Scully," his dad said. "I just forgot about her a little. Had to go back a few years and pick her back up. Other stuff on my mind, ya know?"

Hel looked exasperated. Scully nudged her head against Fenris's legs hopefully. Fenris cautiously patted her on the head.

"She's a sweetheart, don't worry." Loki stooped to pet Scully. She enthusiastically licked his hand. " _Ah,_ stop it."

"Where did you get a dog?" Fenris asked.

"I felt like having a pet," Loki said. "Roundabout five years ago? Plus, this way you guys get an extra playmate. Fun, right?"

"If you say so," Hel said.

"Ignore your sister," Loki told Fenris as Scully butted against him again and whined hopefully. "She doesn't like animals."

Hel rolled her eyes. "I'm afraid I can't stay," she said. "I have some other business to take care off. I'll be back on the twenty fifth, alright?"

"I'll let Slepnir know," Loki said, and Hel was gone before he finished speaking. Fenris scratched Scully behind her ears and she wagged her tail so hard her entire body shook, making Fenris giggle.

"See? Sweetheart." Loki shut the door behind him.

"Why 'Scully'?" Fenris avoided Scully's enthusiastic kisses. "Eew, not my face."

"I should show you the X-Files," his dad said speculatively, and then scooped Scully up into his arms, to her apparent delight. "Movie night!" He announced.

"Yeah!" Slepnir shouted enthusiastically from somewhere nearby. Fenris grinned. Scully barked and kept wagging her tail.

"What are we waiting for, guys? Let's get this started!"

* * *

When it came time to head back to Hogwarts, Fenris wished he could take Scully with him.

Scully was constantly worming into the bed with them at home, flopping down on top of someone's stomach or legs. Her comforting weight and presence would have helped when he had a nightmare the first night back at school.

Again.

Fenris woke up with a scream.

He barely managed to muffle it in the pillow. Fenris squeezed his eyes tightly shut. _It was just a dream. It was just a dream._ He knew it wasn't just a dream. _You're okay. You have hands. And stuff. You can move._ His body, though, didn't seem to agree. Fenris could feel the cold weight of chains pressing down on him. He couldn't _move_ -

Fenris kicked the blankets off frantically. He clutched the pillow to his face, trembling and facedown on the bed. His throat felt tight and his mouth was dry and his eyes were too wet and _why did it always have to be the first night?_

There was a shuffle in the bed next to him. "Fabian?" Of course, _of course,_ he'd woken someone else up. Fenris shook harder, unable to stop the tremors in his limbs. He tried to muffle himself in the pillow. Lysander was in the bed next to him. He didn't want him to see him-

"Are you okay?" Lysander's hushed voice was closer than just the next bed over. Fenris's hands were fisted in the pillow - it was the only reason he didn't instinctively lash out and try to hit his friend. Fenris didn't trust himself to reply. His breath hitched in his throat and dragged its way out as a sob.

He could tell Lysander hadn't left. "Did you have a nightmare?" The whisper was barely more than a breath. Fenris managed a nod, sniffing into the pillow. Lysander was going to think he was stupid. He couldn't even handle a little nightmare.

"Do you want company?" Fenris stilled at that. Was that something Lysander did, too? Share a bed with family?

"Yes." Fenris's voice sounded hoarse even to him. The bed dipped under Lysander's weight as he clambered in.

"D'you mind if I get the blanket?" Lysander's mouth was right next to Fenris's ear. Fenris nodded wordlessly, sniffing again. He rolled over to make more room, taking the pillow with him. Lysander lay back down with a huffed breath, and Fenris could feel the blanket being dragged up over his legs.

Lysander curled up against his back, quieting down almost immediately. He didn't try to put his arm over Fenris or anything like that.

Fenris clutched the pillow and rubbed one sleeve over his eyes. He was shaking less, with the reassurance that there was someone else there. There was light leaking into the dorm from the hallway, and he never shut the curtains on his bed.

It terrified him that he could only remember what had happened to him like this, at night. Seven centuries' worth of memories lurking in the back of his mind, waiting for the right trigger to flood him with panic.

He didn't know if he _wanted_ to remember. The bad nightmares were the ones he sort-of remembered, of the people who'd done it to him.

Fenris shivered, and pressed back against Lysander. Maybe if he remembered, he'd stop having nightmares about it. That sounded nice. But the topic was practically a forbidden one, and getting his dad to tell him exactly what _had_ happened would be impossible.

If he pressed...

But his dad got sad and mopey every time someone mentioned it, or at least looked like he was pretending he didn't feel sad and mopey. Fenris didn't want to do that to him.

He could wait.

He could figure it out on his own.

* * *

Fenris woke up later, with Lysander gone and a note that said he'd told all the teachers that Fenris was feeling sick so he didn't have to go to classes because he probably needed sleep. There was a shaky map that pointed to the kitchen in case he wanted food and it wasn't lunchtime yet.

Fenris lay curled in the bed for a while more before he dragged himself out and got dressed. He wasn't sick, but it was nice of Lysander not to wake him up.

The common room was practically deserted. There were only a few sixth and seventh years sitting around, bent over books or talking animatedly in groups. Fenris liked the common room, with the plants dotted around it in little wall alcoves and comfy chairs, but he didn't feel comfortable enough sitting with a bunch of senior students wondering what he was doing there.

He decided to stay in the dorm, and didn't leave. When the other four Hufflepuff boys came back, he pretended he was asleep.

Muriel gave him a searching look the next day, informed him that if he wasn't feeling well he should go to Madam Pomfrey, and then handed him the work he'd missed. Fenris found a small note under one of the pages that said if he _was_ sick with something, to come see her, and she'd figure out what she could do.

Fenris supposed that if Lysander had told everybody he was sick, he should probably act like it.

Groaning and holding part of his body like it hurt was probably overkill, right? He'd seen people do that, but it might have been because of a plague and not an everyday sickness. The idea that an 'everyday' sickness was even a thing now still surprised him. Humans had gotten the hang of immunity fast.

They were still weird, though.

Case in point when Lysander got a package Saturday morning, checked the label, and immediately shoved it over to Fenris.

Fenris stared at the brown paper. "Why are you-"

"It's for you," Lysander said promptly, anticipating the question. "I asked mum about stuff for nightmares."

Fenris tensed at the reminder, but he knew Lysander meant well. Carefully, he picked off the - tape? - and pulled the paper away from the box. The box itself was not spelled or shut with tape, and it opened easily.

The...contraption inside was a circle made out of smaller straight lines, with some thick yarn tangled into an incomprehensible pattern inside it. Tufts of yarn with beads knotted into it marked every other corner. "...What is it?"

"Well," Lysander said, "I think it's sort of like a dreamcatcher. It catches the bad stuff that gives you nightmares before it cane get to you. It's kind of a spiritual thing, really, but this is mum's version of the idea of it, so I dunno _how_ it works."

Fenris put it back in the box, and decided not to tell Lysander that the stuff that gave him nightmares was already in his head.

* * *

In April, some of the students tried to put together a Norse festival. It was less a festival in the traditional sense and more of a random gathering - half of them didn't know what it was even for. Fenris doubted that any more than that knew what the festival was even for.

He turned down the invitation.

"Why aren't you going?" Lillian flopped down onto one side of him on the bed, Lysander on the other. Fenris tried not to automatically scramble away.

"I don't want to." He got up, pretending it was just to put the book he was reading away in his trunk. Fenris didn't have to ask what they were talking about. He also didn't ask what Lillian, a Slytherin, was doing in the Hufflepuff boys' dormitory.

"Why not?" Lillian propped her chin in her hands. "It sounds like it'll be cool."

"Because they don't know what they're talking about." Fenris retorted before he could realize how weird that sounded.

Lysander frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

With both of the twins staring at him curiously, Fenris had to answer. "They don't know what they're celebrating," he said, staring at the interior of his trunk and pointedly at neither of them. "They're just doing it because it sounds fun and liking pagans is cool now."

"No one says 'cool' anymore," Lillian informed him, making Fenris look up. He'd thought he'd caught up on slang. "And I thought you said you weren't pagan."

Fenris fought down the temptation to avert his eyes. "I don't worship anyone. I just know a lot about mythology."

It wasn't a lie. He knew plenty about Norse traditions and gods and proper procedures; he'd grown up with it, even if his mother was far younger than his father and had been born in a country that had become more Christian than pagan. He knew the stories his dad had told him about other gods; legends and creation and prophecies and other gods.

"I guess I understand that," Lysander said speculatively. "It does just seem like a giant party, and not something religious."

That, and Fenris would never attend _anything_ meant to revere _Odin._

* * *

Fenris was not at Hogwarts' party. They called Halloween their dead day, when spirits got as close as they would ever be to the living realm.

April thirtieth was the last night of the nine-day festival, though the wizard students were only gathering for that last day, May first. _That -_ the ninth night - was when the walls between Helheim and Vallhalla thinned, when those dead found their way back to the world.

Which was really disappointing, because it meant Hel stayed in her realm for all ten days to keep things in order, and her birthday was on April twenty-seventh.

Of course, it was difficult to keep track of time now - Fenris had reintegrated into a world with a completely different calendar, for whatever reason. He didn't see what the problem with the old one was, but the current one had apparently been in use for the last five-hundred-odd years, so there was probably no changing it.

Fenris caught Lysander staring at him. "What?"

"You looked like you were thinking really hard," Lysander said.

Fenris shrugged. "Exams." Single words could be useful - people usually assumed that they knew what you meant if you didn't give specifics.

"Oh, I _know_!" It was enough to send Lysander off on a tangent about how Muriel had given them a ridiculous amount of prep work for the exam, how Professor Slughorn shouldn't make his classwork so easy to forget if he was going to test them on _everything they'd learned over the entire year,_ and on and on.

Fenris grinned to himself and occasionally made vague agreeable noises. Sometimes being Lysander's friend was very simple.

* * *

The second time he had a nightmare at Hogwarts, Fenris saw a whoosh of silver, ghostly skirts pass through the wall as he woke up.

He clutched the blanket and told himself he was imagining things, and tried to stop shaking.

He didn't for a while.

Fenris wished that the invention that Lysander had given him was something that actually worked.

* * *

The third time he had a nightmare at school, Fenris snuck out of the dorm (with the help of a little of his own kind of magic) and went to visit Muriel.

She was already up, like he'd assumed she'd be. She didn't look surprised to see him. "Bad night?"

Fenris nodded wordlessly, sitting in the empty chair in front of her desk and pulling the blanket he'd brought with him around him.

Muriel pushed the parchment in front of her to the side, setting the blue quill in the pot. "Luna's invention isn't helping, is it?"

"No," Fenris mumbled into the black fabric of the blanket.

Muriel was looking at him softly. "I know this isn't the first time you've had a nightmare this year."

Fenris remembered the ghostly visitor. "You got the ghosts to watch me?"

"Just Helena," Muriel said. "She agreed to help me keep an eye on your. Your father persuaded me that I should."

Of course he had.

"He did not, though," Muriel added, "tell me why you were having nightmares in the first place."

Fenris pressed the blanket to his face, breathed the smell of plants and soil and something that was uniquely Hufflepuff in deeply. " _I don't like talking about it._ " It came out muffled, and in Norse, not English. He didn't mentioned that he barely remembered enough to explain what was wrong.

Muriel didn't seem bothered by the language switch. " _Okay._ " She replied in the same, which Fenris was grateful for. Sometimes he really disliked having to mentally translate everything he said before he said it. " _I saw you have trouble getting the hang of spells._ "

"Transfiguration _is odd._ " It wasn't the same as his magic. He was using the only magic he had, but he had to get it to go through the wand he had - not Ollivander or any other wizard-made kind of wand - before he could even think of figuring out how to change one thing into the other.

" _I'm sure your father is hardly upset that you're not making a huge impression on anyone._ "

" _Why_?" Fenris could guess the answer, but he wanted to hear what Muriel thought.

" _He worries about you_ ," Muriel said. " _It's endearing, a little. But he can be so paranoid I'm surprised he let you come here._ "

With Muriel in the castle, and the school itself behind hundreds of wards. Fenris wouldn't have been surprised if his dad had secretly added to them. " _I really wanted to._ "

" _Do you still want to be here?_ "

" _Yes._ "

" _Think about your answer before you say anything._ "

Hogwarts wasn't his favorite place, but Lysander and Lillian were here, even if Jor and Slepnir and Scully weren't. " _Yes, I do. I like it._ "

Muriel simply nodded. " _I just wanted to ask._ " She shuffled through some of the papers on her desk, glancing over them. " _Did you come here to help me_?"

Fenris was nearly half-asleep again - he was _growing,_ after all, and needed more than the average god did (which was none, unless they'd used up a lot of power recently). " _I could._ " He might be able to.

" _I'm joking._ " Muriel smiled at him. " _You should go back and get some sleep before people wake up and see you're not there._ "

"Mmnh." Fenris wasn't looking forward to trekking back through the dark castle. Muriel seemed to notice, and she sighed.

" _If you're too tired,_ " she said, " _My office is up those stairs._ _It's not as though you have classes tomorrow, I suppose._ "

Fenris brightened, and managed a smile. Stairs were manageable. " _Thanks._ "

" _You're welcome._ "

* * *

Muriel made him stay behind in class a week or so later. "I'll assume you haven't heard."

"Haven't heard what?" Part of Fenris was wilting in relief that it wasn't about homework.

Muriel folded her hands on the table, businesslike. "Certain people," she said, "are taking this recent upswing in Norse paganism a little too far."

Fenris's stomach drops.

"Are you warning me because it's _me_ -"

"Of course not," Muriel said. "If I wanted to do that I'd have done so a long time ago. There's already some group of werewolves in America who follow you, I think, but regardless. I thought I'd tell you about it because no one else is going to think to warn someone who looks eleven."

Fenris took a moment to digest the fact that he felt like he already knew about the werewolves in America. "When you say a little too far," he began.

"I mean cults, yes," Muriel finished for him.

"Oh." Fenris hesitated. "That's a bad thing, right?"

"Humans nowadays look upon sacrifice in general as strange, if not downright evil," Muriel informed him. "Whether it is blood sacrifice or not. It's gotten a bad connotation."

"A bad what?"

"People associate things with it that I am sure your father never received." Muriel looked like she was more _hoping_ that his dad had never gotten whatever she was thinking of as a sacrifice. "They do the same with the word _cult._ Generally, only the aggressive religious sects are labelled cults."

"Like Christianity?"

Muriel utterly failed at concealing a snort of laughter. "I mean aggressive like violence and human sacrifice," she said.

"Oh." Fenris realized his mistake. "Sorry. I guess Christianity doesn't do that."

"The sacrifice, no. The violence..." Muriel shrugged. "I did see the Crusades. Now off to your next class, before your professor wonders what's keeping you."

The information sat in the back of Fenris's mind all month.

A _cult._ Why had Muriel thought he should be warned?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What no that's not foreshadowing what on earth are you talking about


	4. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I promise. I WILL EXPLAIN THE NIGHTMARE THING...EVENTUALLY
> 
> In the meantime be satisfied with this really quick end-of-the-year climax

"What did Professor Angelo want?" Lysander questioned when Fenris slipped into History of Magic late. He hadn't bothered asking for a note - Professor Binns probably hadn't even noticed he hadn't come in with everything else. The old ghost kept droning on at the front of the class.

"She just wanted to ask me something," Fenris lied, feeling guilty. "Just about the last homework assignment we had. I got it mixed up with something for another class."

"Oh." Lysander accepted it without question. "I think the older years know a spell for erasing ink."

"It's too late for that." Fenris scrambled to remember what their last homework assignment had been, but Lysander didn't ask anything else except,

"Do you think he ever stops putting people to sleep?"

It took Fenris a moment to realize he meant Professor Binns. "I don't think so," he said, and tried to pretend he was as tired as everyone else.

* * *

It wasn't that he liked lying. Fenris always felt a little guilty when he pretended to Lysander or Lillian that he was like them, subject to the same demands of humanity which he still didn't think he understood. But he had too, didn't he?

His dad had recommended the name change. His dad, who had been here before and gone through all this already. He'd only _needed_ a few people who knew, and it wasn't much of a need. And besides, humans didn't like things or people-shaped beings who were Different.

Fenris had seen what happened to people who were Different, and he didn't think a few centuries had allowed humans to make much progress on that front.

Fenris went to Muriel, after spending almost a week wondering about it. _How did you do it?_

"Well," Muriel said, "first off, Godric was not the kind who might notice any slips I made."

Fenris tilted his head curiously. "As in Gryffindor?"

"Who else do I know named Godric?"

"I don't know. Maybe you met someone."

Muriel shrugged, and took a sip from the steaming teacup that had been placed next to the papers she was probably supposed to be grading. "Fair enough. But Godric was about as perceptive as a brick, when it came to some things, and by the time the other two showed up, I had gotten a better idea of how I was supposed to act."

"But I've met humans before," Fenris said, an edge of complaint in his voice.

"I was under the impression you stayed mostly with your family," Muriel said in a way that meant she wasn't just 'under the impression'. "Without being surrounded by humans pretty much twenty-four seven-"

"What?"

"Unless you're around humans all the time," Muriel simplified, "it's difficult to grasp some of their social behaviors. And they always end up changing things after a century or so. It can be frustrating."

Fenris had already figured out that he was behind on slang and most other casual things, so that wasn't anything new. "That's not really what I meant," he said, mostly to the desk instead of Muriel.

"Ah," Muriel said. "This is about the twins."

* * *

Muriel had not been very helpful in that department.

 _There's no good way to tell someone you're not human,_ Muriel had said. _Father knows I never got around to it with those three. But it's a matter of choosing the right time._

'The right time' was being irritatingly elusive.

How would he even phrase it? _There's something I haven't been telling you..._ no, that sounded too serious. They were only eleven, after all.

Fenris wasn't totally ignorant of humans. He'd known more than a few, had human playmates. But he'd moved around a lot, too, for as long as he could remember, and he never had very much time with any of them. The only permanent people in his life, really, had been Slepnir and Jor and Hel and Moðir and Dad.

But he had _known_ humans. The way younger people acted couldn't have changed _that_ much over seven centuries. It was human nature.

And Fenris _knew_ them. That would help, that the three of them were friends, wouldn't it?

* * *

Fenris never quite got the courage to broach the subject.

Lysander and Lillian never really brought up the subject of Norse paganism - not around him, at least. The glances they occasionally exchanged when someone nearby mentioned it made him think it might have been _because_ of him. He hadn't exactly been enthusiastic about it before, but...

Fenris wasn't sure if he was frustrated or kind of pleased that Lysander (most likely it had been him) had picked up on some cue that Fenris didn't like talking about those particular 'myths' much.

"Hey," Lillian said, one day at lunch long after people had stopped giving her weird looks for being a Slytherin at Hufflepuff table, "guess what I found?"

"What?" Lysander seemed only half-interested in the conversation, giving a perfunctory reply.

"Well, you know that map that mum gave us?"

 _That_ caught Lysander's attention a bit more. "What about it?"

"There's a sneaky way to Hogsmeade on it," Lillian said smugly.

Fenris had the feeling he was missing something. "...What's Hogsmeade?"

Lillian stared at him like he'd wounded her deeply. "What's _Hogsmeade,_ he says!" She almost shouted it, and Fenris had to keep himself from flinching back. He must not have done a very good job, because Lysander sharply reached across the table and pushed at Lillian's shoulder.

"He's Muggleborn," Lysander said, a calm reminder, then turned to Fenris. "Hogsmeade's the village out near the school. It's an all-magical population, and it's got all these shops and such - I think Weasley's moved out there a few years back."

"They did," Lillian said. "Zonko's almost went out of business 'cause nobody was buying their stuff."

"Nevermind Zonko's," Lysander said. "Why were you looking for a path to Hogsmeade? No one's allowed to go but the upper years."

"Not if it's a secret way that nobody will see you coming out of," Lillian said.

 _Oh._ Fenris perked up. Sneaking out and breaking rules, he could do.

* * *

"They're going to be wondering why first years are in the village," Lysander said.

"We'll say we're really short thirteen year olds," Lillian said. "Fabian can back us up, they'll believe him."

"They will?" Fenris asked, surprised.

"Sure," Lillian told him. "You always sound older than you look."

"What about the whole new bit of the village?" Lysander asked, arms crossed across his chest, as Fenris tried not to react too much to what Lillian had said. "They don't let anyone over thirteen go because of that. It's like Knocturn."

Lillian scoffed. "You're exaggerating. _And_ that rule's always been a rule, since before the second war, mum said. Remember how she said she didn't go until third year?"

Lysander's arms stayed stubbornly crossed. "It's still bad."

"That's only one bit of the village," Lillian insisted. "No students go near there anyway, it's not like it'll be hard to avoid. Right?" She rounded on Fenris.

"Um-" Why was it always Lillian who put him on the spot? "If it's only part of the village..." He was really bored, anyway. Nothing interesting had happened all year. And a magical village sounded just as interesting as a magical school.

Lillian grinned wide. "The next Hogsmeade weekend isn't until after Friday," she said, "so we'll have to wait. I saw a sign."

Lysander sighed. "I guess," he said grudgingly. "Honeydukes is there anyway."

* * *

The three of them went up to the third floor the following weekend, and Lillian got the statue-witch's hump open easily.

"It's too dark," she muttered as Fenris slipped in and found his footing behind them.

"It's a secret passage," Lysander said. "Were you expecting fancy lights and a polished floor?"

Lillian made a face back at him. Fenris wasn't nearly as burdened by the dark, and managed to stop either of them from banging their heads on the low ceiling or tripping on anything as they progressed down the very, very long tunnel.

Lysander still managed to trip over the bottom of the staircase.

"Finally!" Lillian darted up it before any of them could say anything. The top of the staircase came up against a flat floor, but part of the ceiling easily moved, revealing itself to be a loose floor tile in a basement full of boxes and crates when they hauled themselves out.

"Honeydukes," Lysander said. " _Awesome._ "

"I told you it would be alright," Lillian said.

* * *

Honeydukes was crowded enough that they slipped out after buying only a few things - Lysander had grabbed as many Chocolate Frogs as would fit into his pockets, insisting that he might as well since he'd brought pocket money.

Lillian had dragged both of them into Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, since apparently anyone they knew who worked there was at the shop in Diagon Alley, but Fenris had to leave after only a few moments. It was too loud, too noisy, too crowded with people and someone kept setting off tiny fireworks that whizzed close over his head like they were designed to make him as uncomfortable as possible.

"Are you sure you're okay with waiting?" Even Lillian had lingered in the doorway when Fenris had said he'd wait outside.

"I don't mind," he said. "You can go and buy...stuff. As long as it doesn't get set off near me."

There was a bench outside the store, which was just as bright and colorful as the storefront and anything inside. Fenris decided not to sit on it in case it turned out to be booby-trapped. He wouldn't put it past these 'Weasleys'.

Lysander and Lillian didn't leave with anything from the store - Lysander had spent it all on chocolate. Lillian prodded and teased him for it right up until they got to the end of the street.

Up until the end of the street, because that was where they got yanked into the alley.

" _Hey_!" They were bigger than the three of them. People in black robes. Fenris wrenched his arm out of the witch's grip.

"Stop, stop it!" Lysander was wriggling in his captor's hold. Lillian had been caught by her hair. She was trying to get her wand out. One of them grabbed her by the wrist so hard it made her cry out.

"Leave them alone!" Fenris lunged at the wizard. Someone grabbed him from behind. Arms wrapped around his chest. A heavy weight pinned him in place.

Fenris panicked.

_No no no nonoNONOnonoNO-_

He writhed, trying to escape, but he wasn't big enough. Fenris slammed his head backwards, feeling it connect with a sharp chin. There was a pained exclamation. Fenris thrashed as wildly as possible. Grass crackled and frosted over underneath him.

Whoever was holding him suddenly threw him away from them. Fenris scrambled to his feet, seeing forearms blacked by frostbite. The man was shouting.

Panic blanked Fenris's mind out and made his breath come too fast. The man lunged at him. He threw his arms up in front of him defensively.

The man went flying backwards.

Fenris was flat against the wall and barely registered how the wizard hit the wall and slumped down.

He had to - he wasn't safe here, he needed someone to - Fenris didn't know what but he couldn't _stay_ here-

The man's companions were gone. He couldn't hear Lysander and Lillian. The houses around him were decrepit and looked every inch the glimpse of Knockturn Fenris was gotten before he'd ever seen Hogwarts.

There was a Chocolate Frog packet gleaming on the ground.

Fenris took off running.

He nearly tripped over Lysander's wand after a few feet. Faint shouts - Fenris nearly blanked out again in relief for godly hearing - were around the end of the block. Fenris nearly flew over the dirt path.

The door slammed and locked in front of him. Fenris could hear desperate shouts from behind it.

The hinges frosted over and broke into shards of ice when he slammed against the door. It went crashing down the staircase. Several people had to duck out of the way. Fenris was a second behind it.

The first room he found was so full of pagan magic that it made him stumble when he crossed the threshold. People in robes, white table, something cut into the floor, _Lysander and Lillian-_

"Stop!" He shouted, forcefully enough that the wizard with the knife actually hesitated.

It gave Fenris exactly enough time to put himself in between the knife and the twins.

Fenris heard a badly muffled gasp behind him. He'd moved faster than any human could, barely slower than teleportation. The man whirled to face him.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

Fenris struggled to try and breathe evenly. He could tell what this room was meant for, and his anxious brain was providing plenty of images of what they'd intended to do to Lysander and Lillian. "Nobody."

"This is not your sacrifice," someone else snarled.

"I don't care." Fenris could hardly believe he wasn't stuttering. His arms were spread, barring the twins behind him. They were crowded up against the back wall, though, and there were at least ten people in between the three of them and the door.

"We'll get what we want anyway." The man gestured angrily with the knife. Fenris could tell it was a ritual athame, the way magic was pressed into it. There was an agreeable mutter around the circle of people, determined and scowling expressions.

Fenris couldn't read thoughts that clearly, but he could hear very well. They wanted chaos. He suddenly, terrifyingly, knew exactly who they were trying to call.

"He won't come," he said.

The man with the athame paused. "What?" He growled. He thought he was threatening. Fenris did, too, but he swallowed back the fear and remembered that his arms were spread, not chained together.

"Loki," he said. "He won't come. Not for this kind of sacrifice." He could stall. He knew how to do that.

This time, the murmur that went around was distinctly unpleasant. Fenris was thinking as hard as he could, projecting, _Dad please-_

"What would you know?" The man in front of him snarled, and brought down the knife.

A hand caught his wrist.

"I would _really_ rethink that," Loki said.

Fenris could hear the man's wrist crack. The athame clattered as it hit the ground. He'd never been so relieved to see his dad in his life.

"You-" the man's words cut off in a strangled noise as Loki squeezed harder. Behind him, the door slammed shut in front of one of the black-robed figures who had been sneaking towards it. Loki's gaze didn't waver.

"Me," Loki agreed, teeth flashing in something that was not a smile. He pressed down inexorably, forcing the man to his knees. "You called. I don't ignore that kind of thing."

"I-" The man gasped out. The rest of the cultists - that was what they had to be, Muriel had _warned_ him about this - looked frozen in place. They probably were, Fenris thought faintly. "We didn't - the ritual."

"Right," Loki said, and twisted. The man collapsed to the ground with a scream as his arm dislocated. Fenris felt one of the twins - he didn't know which - flinch behind him. " _That_ ritual. The one where you grabbed a couple of _kids._ "

Fenris had never seen his dad this angry.

Loki's foot dug into the cultist's back, his arm at an impossible and painful angle. "You presume," Loki hissed, "that I would take what you offered. That I would take _this_ because you offered. That I would give you a favor. For a _child's_ blood. For my _son's._ "

Fenris did not look behind him to see Lysander and Lillian's expressions.

"Please," the man gasped.

Loki looked down at him, mouth twisting into something slightly closer to a smile. "You're begging?" He asked, amused. "Begging _me_?"

The man made a muffled noise into the ground. Loki seemed to notice the carved pattern he was pressing the other's face into. He flicked his fingers, and the man flinched as a gash cut itself into his face, bleeding onto the ground.

The magic in the room picked up, red sluggishly moving through the inset patterns.

"Plenty of time to find out what that does," Loki muttered, and then looked over to Fenris as if he'd just realized he was still there. Belatedly, Fenris lowered his arms.

"Are you alright?"

Fenris nodded. His dad's eyes flickered over him once, like he was checking, and then he turned towards the immobile gathering.

"Here's how it's gonna go," Loki said, voice low. "Those three are gonna walk out of here, and if any of you so much as look like you're thinking about trying to do anything to them...I'll kill you first."

No reaction. Then again, they couldn't react. Loki looked back at Fenris, tilting his head towards the door and flicking his hand so that all the black-robed figures slid away from it.

Lysander took off and was through the door in about three seconds. Lillian was right behind him. Neither of them so much as glanced back at Fenris.

Fenris lingered in the doorway. He didn't want to go up there and have to explain, about everything.

Loki gave him a steady look, and mouthed _ten minutes._ He gestured at the door, and it shut softly.

When Fenris got to the top of the stairs, the small path was deserted, and most of the shops looked closed. Lillian and Lysander were nowhere in sight.

Fenris wasn't sure if he was relieved or upset. His gut felt weird and twisted around itself either way.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Loki was there, looking remarkably unchanged, except for the fact that his collar was folded in on itself. "You sure you're okay?"

Fenris nodded. Loki gave him a careful look, like he was trying to find the lie. His hands were clasped behind his back. "You're _sure._ "

Fenris looked up at his dad. "What if they don't like me?"

"What, the blond kids?" Loki questioned. "You're the only one who was in that room they've got no reason to dislike."

"But... they _know._ "

"It's a magic school," Loki said. "Human-shaped things other than human aren't a brand-new thing."

Fenris didn't feel reassured, but he couldn't think of any way to counter that.

Loki let his hands fall to his side, wiped the bloody one on his shirt, and offered the other to Fenris. "C'mon," he said. "We'll go up to the school and get this figured out. Sound good?"

"...Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guess what turns out I'm ending the chapter here. Comment, please?


	5. Back Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! So! Funny story, but I somehow managed to upload today's chapter last Friday! How I managed to accidentally skip one, I have no idea.
> 
> I guess I worried you about the twin's possible reactions to this new upheaval! Understandable, really, but...about that...
> 
> Well, I won't spoil it for you.
> 
> And in case some people are confused, when I refer to 'Loki' I do mean Gabriel. I probably won't be calling him Gabriel much in this, because it's more the side of him that's Loki that's involved with all of these guys.
> 
> Also, keep in mind, I'm still learning as much as I can about Norse mythology, but I'm still either unsure or going to be outright wrong about some stuff. So when more mythology-based stuff comes up, just roll with me and take it with a grain of salt, alright? I'm completely self-taught so far, so I can't get everything right, especially considering how little we know about it.

Loki brought both of them right into McGonagall's office, making her startle and her hand shoot to her wand.

"What in-" Her eyes went to Fenris. "Who is this?"

"Aw," Loki said, tilting his head. "I'm almost offended you don't recognize me." Fenris could see his eyes flash blue-white.

McGonagall's hand did not leave her wand, and she managed to look even more shocked. "You?" Her eyes darted between them. "Dear Merlin, he's _your_ son?"

"Is it that shocking?" Loki smirked, one hand in Fenris's and the other one tucked into his pocket.

McGonagall still looked taken off guard. "I suppose it does explain a lot," she said eventually. She gave Fenris a look that made him shift uncomfortably and do his best to shrink behind his dad without actually hiding. "You weren't in Hogsmeade just now, were you?"

"Perceptive," Loki said, pretending he didn't know the question had been addressed to Fenris. "I was only there for fifteen minutes, tops. Those kids make their way back here?"

"They did," McGonagall said. "They ran into a few fifth years who helped them back to the castle. What were you doing there?" Her eyes lingered uneasily on the splash of red where Loki had wiped his hand on his jacket.

"Intervening." Loki gave her a false smile, smoothing a hand over the spot and vanishing the stain. "Since when does Hogsmeade have that kind of crowd?"

McGonagall went rather stiff, as though she felt Loki had insulted her. "It's a recent development," she said coolly. "We cannot force them to leave unless we have proof of wrongdoing, but I assure you, after this they will be sternly prosecuted."

"Too late," Loki said. "I got there first. Prosecuted, huh? Nice sentiment." It didn't sound like he was complimenting her at all.

McGonagall's brows drew close over her eyes. She looked down at Fenris as if she'd just remembered he was there. "I assume you were there as well."

"Yes," Fenris said quietly. McGonagall was even more intimidating up close. His dad's hand squeezed his reassuringly.

Muriel's abrupt arrival was accompanied by a faint breeze. "Have you - oh, there you are! What were you doing in Hogsmeade?"

Fenris tried to shrink further into his dad's jacket. "Lillian had a map," he mumbled.

"A map with a secret way into Hogsmeade?" Loki seemed amused. "Did Luna give it to them?"

"I would assume so," Muriel said.

"What map?" McGonagall asked sharply.

Loki waved dismissively. "No biggie, just a map." He linked his hand with Fenris's again. "We really should be going." _We?_

McGonagall had caught onto the phrasing as well. "Both of you?"

"Yes."

Fenris tugged on his dad's sleeve. "I don't mind staying-"

"I know you're lying, kid," Loki said. "I think home's better at the moment. Or is Luna going to let those other two stay here after what just happened?" The question was directed towards McGonagall.

McGonagall visibly hesitated. "Exams are still a week away."

"He can take them at home."

"And you'll ensure that he doesn't cheat?" McGonagall asked skeptically.

"I can," Muriel offered.

"Dad," Fenris objected, slightly louder.

Loki sighed, and bent down so he was more on Fenris's level. "I know you think this place is cool," he said quietly, "but the twins aren't gonna be here and all you'll do is take tests and then wait three weeks before you come home. Do you really want to do that?"

Fenris shuffled his feet in the carpet. He _did_ want to go home, but he didn't want to be the odd kid out who had gotten pulled out of school three weeks early.

"Everyone except people who know you really well is gonna forget about it by next year," Loki coaxed, guessing Fenris's thoughts. "Three months is a while for humans, remember?"

The twins would still remember, though. And if he stayed he wouldn't even get a chance to explain it to them.

"Okay," Fenris said quietly. "But I want to come back."

"Wouldn't dream of stopping you," Loki said, and then straightened, looking at McGonagall. "Assuming no one's gonna sneak up to the castle or anything."

"I assure you," McGongall said frostily, "Hogwarts's wards are most certainly enough to prevent a few overly ambitious cultists from getting in. We'll be taking measures in Hogsmeade as well."

"Glad to hear it, then." Loki got a firmer grip on Fenris's hand. "Hope I don't have to stop by again." With that parting remark, he whirled them both away from the school.

* * *

Given the events of the morning, Fenris lasted about three minutes after falling asleep before he woke himself up.

Fenris reached frantically for _something,_ anything to tell him he wasn't back there. His hands found a shirt and Fenris pressed his face into it. It was wet in about a second.

"Fen, shhh, shhh."

"I - _can't_ -" His breaths felt like someone was reaching in and dragging them out of him in shredded pieces.

"Shhh," Loki breathed. "Listen. Listen to me breathing, alright? You've got your head on my chest already."

Fenris gulped. His dad's chest moved in a steady in-and-out. He kept drawing in shivery breaths instead of steady ones. Fenris scrubbed furiously at his face, trying to stop the tears.

A smaller hand patted his head from behind. "'S okay," Jormungand said sleepily. "You're not 'lone."

Fenris was distracted by a wiggly Scully, who managed to worm her way in between him and Loki. She licked at Fenris's chin, whining.

"Quiet, Scully." Loki scratched at her ears and then moved to run his hand through Fenris's hair. It helped a little bit. Combined with the terror and pain of the nightmare fading, Fenris managed to steady his breathing.

Slepnir's arm, pale even in the dim light, snuck in under Loki's arm and squeezed. Loki turned to look behind him. "You, too?"

If Slepnir said anything in reply, Fenris didn't hear it.

Loki sighed, a long exhale that seemed to sit in the air for a while. "Okay," he said. "How does hot chocolate sound?"

* * *

Fenris had to squint when the electric light in the kitchen turned itself on. The sun wasn't up yet - the stove blinked _4:05_ in green letters that were in a color that really shouldn't count as a proper green.

Candles might have been better, but Fenris did like electricity - mostly because the bright, artificial light was very good at chasing away shadows from bad dreams. It was hard to be afraid when the room you were in made you feel like it was midday already.

Slepnir took a seat and folded his arms, pillowing his head on them. Loki was already rummaging through the cabinets, since the ingredients managed to switch places whenever no one was paying attention - which was most of the time, since the cabinets (usually) stayed closed.

Jormungand was easily the most awake of all of them. She - Fenris assumed it was she at the moment, since she hadn't bothered tying her hair back - was watching their dad as he went through the motions. Being Loki, it was only a minute or so before the kitchen smelled strongly of chocolate.

"Where's Vali and Narvi?" She asked as Loki pulled the cups out of the pantry, where they'd somehow ended up.

"They left to visit Sigyn for a while, since I'm here."

Fenris halfheartedly wished that sometimes Sigyn would come to _them_ to visit the twins. It was hopeless, though - she'd barely stuck around long enough to help take care of them when his dad had been away. Fenris didn't think it was because she didn't like acting like a mum.

A steaming cup was placed in front of him. Fenris took a long drink.

"I like chocolate," Jormungand said. "How come we didn't have this before?"

"Because it's American," Loki said, sitting opposite her. He didn't have a cup of his own. "No way of getting it to Europe back then."

"We could have gone over there," Slepnir said, raising his head only as far as was absolutely required to take a sip without spilling the hot chocolate.

"Hot chocolate back then sucked," Loki told him. "They hadn't figured out that adding sugar made it taste better. Let me tell you, natural chocolate is _really_ bitter."

"That's stupid," Fenris said.

"Absolutely," Loki agreed. "Nature can be ridiculous."

They sat in silence for a few moments, and then Jormungand said, "How come Europe has chocolate now?"

"A moron who figured if he went far enough west he'd eventually come up in the east again," Loki said. "He was right about that bit, but he didn't count on two continents being in his way and didn't even realize he was in the wrong place."

Fenris couldn't help but snort at that.

"How do you not notice you're in the wrong country?" Slepnir wondered out loud, looking a little more awake.

"Wasn't like he'd ever been to India," Loki said.

"Wasn't it..." Jormungand paused. " _Didn't everyone where he ended up end up dead?_ "

" _Basically._ " Loki didn't react to the language change.

" _That sucks,_ " Fenris said.

" _Couldn't you have done something?_ " Slepnir asked.

" _I don't get involved in things that big,_ " Loki said. " _It attracts too much attention._ "

That was - well, not _fair,_ but a decent reason. Fenris turned his attention back to the drink in front of him and drank the last of it before it got cold.

Jormungand picked at a spot at the table where something had dried. " _What about their gods_?"

Loki shrugged. "Dunno what happened to them."

Fenris mentally groaned over the switch back to English. There were too many languages in his head already. Jormungand didn't look satisfied, but she dropped the subject.

Their cups ended up getting refilled several times. Around six in the morning, Adam stumbled into the kitchen.

He stared blearily at all of them. "How long have you been here?"

"'Bout two hours," Loki said cheerfully.

Slepnir held up his cup. "We have hot chocolate."

Adam rubbed his hands over his face. "I think I'll stick with coffee." He managed to locate the little plastic thingies of coffee that went in the machine and stared at it for several seconds.

"Oh. Right." Adam fumbled around with the settings. The machine beeped, and it only took a few minutes for the kitchen to start smelling like a weird mix of coffee and chocolate.

"I'm going to watch something." Jormungand slid out of her chair and made for the living room. Fenris followed her - he didn't like the smell of coffee any more than she did.

The television obligingly turned itself on as they entered. It was probably Loki being subtly helpful. Jormungand hoisted herself onto the sofa, balancing her cup slightly precariously. Fenris settled for sitting on the floor in front of the sofa and putting his on the ground next to him.

"I don't know what to watch," Jormungand said after a moment of staring at the menu screen.

"Netflix?"

"I don't know." Jormungand flopped onto her side, curling up around a pillow someone had left propped against one of the sofa arms. "It's too early." The sun was barely peeking up now, just enough to turn the sky a dusky orange along the horizon. Fenris had been up for too many of them to be _that_ impressed by the sight.

Fenris shrugged, sitting back against the sofa. He was pretty sure it was one of Adam's textbooks that was poking out from underneath, and he idly wondered who had hidden it there.

"Did you hide Adam's book?"

"Yes," Jormungand said. "He bet me it would take him less than a day to find them all."

"How much?"

"I managed to get ten dollars out of it."

Ten dollars was alright, Fenris thought, but Adam _was_ in school so it wasn't like he would have a lot of it on him.

Jormungand's foot nudged his head. "Hey," she said. "I'm sorry you had to come home early."

"It's okay," Fenris said automatically. He could hear Jormungand snort.

"I know," was all she said. "Here, hand me the remote. I know something you'll like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!


	6. Luna's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this LOOKS like the same chapter from Friday, but there was a slight mix-up, and if you'll backtrack a little to chapter five there's an explanation there. Sorry for the confusion!

"You know," Loki said a little later in the day, "I could just invite Luna and the kids over and we could figure this out without letting the drama build for three months."

Fenris sat bolt upright. "You mean Lillian and Lysander?" His first instinct was to say _no way._ If finding out he was a god was weird, what would they think of the rest of his family?

"Sure," Loki said, looking unperturbed by the idea of inviting a bunch of possibly horrified humans into the house. "We've had humans over before. And they're a tolerant bunch. Luna's probably already shut down any crazy ideas."

"You know their mum?" Slepnir questioned.

"Hogwarts," was Loki's explanation. "Anyway, I thought you'd want a chance to explain to them," he said, giving Fenris a knowing look. "Or would you rather they came up with their own explanations over the summer?"

"No," Fenris muttered. "But they're - no one ever reacted well before."

"Fenris," Loki said, "trust me. Luna isn't the kind of person who would put up with her kids disliking someone based on species."

"What if they're scared of me?"

"Who's gonna be scared of you?" Loki grinned, lightly ruffling Fenris's hair and making the curls stick up. "You're adorable. Unless you were _trying_ to be scary. Then it would be completely understandable."

"I wasn't," Fenris protested, giggling at the exaggerated post his dad struck. Loki swept one hand dramatically over his forehead.

"Well, _that's_ a relief. I was beginning we might as well just call the whole thing off and give up on friends forever."

"Never!" Slepnir slid off the sofa, clutching at his chest like the proclamation had physically pained him. "Think of what would happen if we were stuck with each other forever! We'd drive each other crazy!"

"I think I'd stay sane," Jormungand said thoughtfully. "You're all already crazy." Fenris didn't bother trying to muffle his laughter.

"You're all so rude to me," Loki said. "I guess I won't ask for your help in finding a fireplace so I can light it and stick my head in it to call Luna."

"We don't have one," Slepnir said.

"What the hell is the point of having a house this big if there's no fireplace? That's just stupid."

* * *

It turned out that Loki wasn't joking about the fireplace thing, but it also turned out that they didn't have any of the special powder necessary to make that kind of firecall, so Loki settled on just going over in person to invite her ("I haven't seen Luna in ages, anyway").

Luna ended up inviting _them_ over to her house - them being Fenris and Loki, and Loki whispered on the way there that it was probably to stop the twins from being overwhelmed.

The Lovegood's house looked like it was partially cut into the hillside, and where it was above ground the beams arched in curves that met in odd places and ducked behind one another. Loki seemed to find it both fascinating and mildly hilarious. Fenris thought it looked kind of cool, once you got used to it.

The door was painted a bright yellow, and it opened almost immediately when Loki knocked. Luna turned out to be a woman about Loki's height, with wispy blond hair that appeared to be held in place by her wand.

"Oh, hello." She said brightly. "I was expecting you to be a little late, to be honest. I've only just put the kettle on."

"I'll live," Loki said, strolling inside, but the words were offset by a smile. Fenris followed him, looking up at the patterns of brightly colored flowers painted on the ceiling. It was very pretty, if a little unorthodox.

"I think Lysander and Lillian are upstairs," Luna said. "I told them you were coming, but they may have forgotten. They're a bit nervous."

"Nervous?" Fenris echoes, looking at her instead of the ceiling. "Why?"

"You are a god," Luna says. "I think they're not sure what you see in them."

Luna swept into the kitchen then, so Fenris had to puzzle and try to mentally translate that for a few moments before Loki clarified for him. "She means they're nervous you're not gonna want to be friends with them."

Fenris stared. " _Why_?" He'd thought _they_ wouldn't want to be friends with _him._

"They are just humans," Loki said reasonably. "No one's saying they make sense. Wild guess, the idea of gods intimidates them."

"The twins are upstairs, by the way," Luna called out to them. "I'll let them know - Lysander! Lillian! Your friend's here!"

There was a short pause, and then a slightly fainter _Okay!_ shouted back down.

"You can go up if you like," Luna said as Fenris edged into the kitchen. "It's right upstairs on the right. She gestured to a spiral staircase which seemed like it might be a little too close to the table for anyone to actually get in between them. Fenris squeezed past the corner of the table, nudging a few chairs out of the way in the process, and mounted the stairs with something like dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!


	7. Lovegoods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, this chapter is just getting the story along to the good parts. Quick little snapshot more along the lines of what this story was originally gonna be.

The second floor had stars on the ceiling instead of flowers. They shone in the light, and Fenris stopped, trying to figure out if it was magic or some strange kind of paint. Maybe a combination of both? Did they make sparkly paint now?

The answer to that was probably yes, considering how much ridiculous stuff he'd already discovered now existed.

Fenris's gaze shot downwards as the nearest door banged open. Lillian had her hands on her hips.

"How come you're at Hogwarts if you're a god?" She demanded.

"I - what?"

"You practically _Apparated._ "

"What's apparated...?"

"My point is you've got crazy _god powers._ " Lillian still had her hands on her hips, managing to block the entire doorway. "What do you need _magic school_ for?"

"I felt like going there?" Fenris offered.

"You felt like going to school?" Lysander peered around Lillian. "But you don't have to."

Fenris shrugged. "I don't get a lot of opportunities to do stuff like that." He pointed up, remembering what he'd been wondering. "Is that magic, or just fancy paint?"

The twins stared at him for a few seconds.

Lysander glanced at the ceiling. "I think it's just metallic paint."

"Metallic?"

"It's shiny paint."

"Do you use magic to make it shiny?"

"Don't change the subject!" Lillian burst out. "What about us?"

Fenris tilted his head. "What about you?"

"Well, you're-" Lysander gestured vaguely at him. He seemed reluctant to actually say it.

"A god," Fenris provided for him.

"Yeah."

"Just because you're human doesn't mean I think less of you," Fenris said. "Why would I? You're my friends." He _hoped_ they still were.

He went from anxious to anxious and mostly puzzled when Lillian started giggling. "We're friends with a _god,_ " she said. "My roommate would _freak_ if she knew."

"You can't say-" Fenris began.

"I'm not gonna _tell_ her, I was saying _if_ she found out. How come you said you're not pagan?"

Bewildered by how she seemed to have immediately moved past her anger - had she been angry at all or was it just how Lillian shouted about everything? - Fenris said, "I never said I wasn't. I _don't_ worship anybody."

"That's cheating," Lysander said, but there wasn't any heat in the words.

Fenris shrugged. "My dad _is_ Loki."

"Is Fabian your real name?" Lillian asked, hands at her sides like she'd forgotten that she was trying to look imposing.

"It's _one_ of them," Fenris said, glancing away from them. "I just...the one I was born with sounds weird."

"It can't sound weirder than Scorpius," Lysander reasoned.

"I thought that was a constellation," Lillian said.

"It might be, but it's still a weird name."

"Not really," Fenris said.

"What's _your_ name, then?" Lillian asked.

"Fenris."

"Wait," Lysander said. "Like Fenrir Greyback?"

"That's why Dad said I shouldn't use that name." Fenris didn't even really know who Fenrir Greyback was, but from the look on his dad's face he'd had a feeling that his dad had been involved in Greyback's death.

"That makes a _lot_ more sense," Lysander said. "Barely anyone talks about those guys anymore. It's like they all want to try and forget it happened."

"Mum talks about it," Lillian said.

"If we _ask,_ she does. That's not the same thing."

"How come?" Fenris asked.

"She only talks about it because we ask and mum doesn't believe in keeping secrets," Lysander said matter-of-factly. "She thinks it's a bad basis for a relationship, even parents and kids."

"I guess that makes sense." Fenris shrugged. Luna didn't sound like any parent he'd ever met.

"You can come in if you want, you know," Lillian said. "So we don't have to just stand in the hallway."

"Oh - okay."

Lillian's room didn't have anything fancy painted on the ceiling, but there were a few childlike attempts at a moon and sun just next to the windowsill, easily within the reach of an eleven-year-old girl.

"How come you don't share a room?" Fenris asked.

"We're twins, not the same person," Lillian said. "I already practically share my _face_ with Lysander, I don't want to share a room."

"That," Lysander added, "and it makes it easier to keep our things separate."

Lillian shrugged in a way that Fenris had learned meant she agreed, but didn't want to say it. She brightened almost immediately, tugging a book out from under a small pile of them. "Oh, hey, have you ever read this?"

Fenris only had to glance at it. "No. I don't really read stuff."

"Why not?" Lysander asked, looking puzzled.

"Not in English, I mean," Fenris elaborated. "I learned it by speaking it, so I don't really know how to read it that well yet." English had a _lot_ of confusing words and phrases, but at least it was easier to learn how to read it than how to speak it. Not to mention that the writing style had changed so drastically from what he was used to it was just surreal to see what books looked like now. "And no one publishes anything in my other language anymore."

"Your first language, you mean?" Lillian questioned.

"Yeah. That."

"That sucks. It's about this girl who hunts ghosts-" Lillian immediately launched into a long explanation of the books, talking so fast that Fenris could barely understand her.

Lysander look exasperated. "Slow _down._ He just said he can't speak English that well!"

"Well, maybe you could borrow it and see what you think? Lysander doesn't like horror books so I don't have anyone to talk about it with." Lillian held the book out to Fenris pleadingly.

"...Okay." It couldn't be that bad. Fenris took the book, rubbing his thumbs over the shiny-smooth cover curiously.

Lillian beamed at him. Lysander rolled his eyes.

This was going much better than Fenris had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!


	8. New Players

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And back to Hogwarts! Introducing some new characters, so hopefully I will at some point be able to do something with them. I keep meaning to include them, but I haven't been able to yet :(
> 
> Oh, well, wish me luck!

King's Cross was as crowded as ever, making Fenris stick close to his dad's side as they sidled up to the hidden platform's entrance and slid through.

"Oh, this is _much_ better," Loki said sarcastically as they stepped across and into a much stranger kind of crowd.

"Lysander said they were gonna be down by the Floo," Fenris said.

"So the other end of the station," Loki said dryly. "Let's dump your trunk first, huh?"

"Sure." Fenris was relieved to stack it with the others in the open luggage carriage - it was unwieldy to drag around, even if his dad had made it a little lighter than it otherwise would have been. On the trip across the platform, though, he had to hurriedly move to avoid tripping over at least five cats who were wandering freely around the platform, dodge an owl, and keep a tight grip on his dad's hand to avoid being separated by exuberant parents who decided that the fastest way to get to their kid was between the two of them.

Fenris spotted a flash of white-blond hair. "Over there!"

"Nah, that's Draco Malfoy. Let's go this way." Loki slid between two perilously tilting piles of trunks, and Fenris edged through after him.

"It _looked_ like them."

"If you're going by hair color, sure."

Lillian and Lysander ended up finding them, instead. There was a shout of "Fabian!", and Fenris turned to see Lysander waving through one of the windows to get his attention.

"There you go," Loki said. "You still have what I gave you, just in case?"

"Yeah," Fenris said, patting where the knife was tucked into an inside pocket. "And Muriel is still there. Right?"

"Yeah. Hopefully that's worst-case." Loki leaned down to drop a kiss onto Fenris's forehead. Fenris hugged him back, but had to let go when Loki stood back. "Have a good year, alright?"

"Promise," Fenris said, smiling. "I'll write."

"Counting on it." Loki nudged him towards the train car.

This time, Fenris only looked back once. Loki waved, then gestured for him to _get inside already._ The whistle that Fenris remembered meant the train was about to start moving.

The train jerked and rumbled under his feet just as he opened the door of the compartment. "Hi."

"Hey!" Lillian was swinging her legs back and forth excitedly. "I hope you don't mind but I told one of my Slytherin friends that she could come by later."

"Why would I mind?" Fenris had to stand on the seat to get his backpack onto the luggage rack.

"It's just what people say," Lysander said.

"If she's Lillian's friend, she must be alright." Fenris dropped back down onto the seat.

Lillian grinned at him. "Her name's Marisol," she said. "She's really nice."

"Cool," Fenris said. Lysander was giving him an odd look, but he had no idea why. "What?"

"Nothing," Lysander said quickly. "You just still look the same as last year, is all."

Fenris glanced down at himself. "Okay?" A year wasn't that long. Should he look different? What was Lysander expecting, purple hair?

"It's probably a god thing," Lillian said. "Are you just gonna be eleven forever?"

"I still grow up," Fenris said defensively. "Just slower."

Lillian looked like she'd just thought of something. " _Are_ you actually eleven? How old are you really?"

"How old do you think I am?" Fenris asked.

"A hundred," Lysander said, and then giggled.

"No way," Lillian said, but she looked thoughtful.

"I'm not a hundred," Fenris laughed. "That's not even _close._ "

"How old are you _really,_ then?" Lillian repeated more insistently.

Fenris hesitated for a split second, and lied. "Fifty-five."

"You are _not_ ," Lysander said in astonishment.

Lillian almost looked disappointed. "That's not very old."

"I am still a kid," Fenris pointed out. It wasn't _really_ a lie, not technically, but he still felt vaguely guilty, not telling them the entire truth.

Before either twin could speak up, the door slid open again. The girl who had opened it, already in her green-and-silver tie, looked relieved. "Oh, there you are. I accidentally walked in on a bunch of Ravenclaws before."

"That's okay! That's Fabian, by the way, 'cause I know you don't know him." Lillian pointed at Fenris, then glanced at him. "That's Marisol."

"Hi." Fenris gave her a little wave.

Marisol plopped down on Lillian's other side, leaving her backpack on the ground. "So did I tell you what happened over the summer?"

"I don't think so."

Marisol started telling a story that obviously made sense to Lillian, but it was so full of foreign places and names that Fenris couldn't follow. Lysander made a loud, pointed noise that might have been him attempting to clear his throat.

"Maybe we could do something all four of us instead?"

"Oh," Lillian said, looking an equal mixture of embarrassed and irritated. "Alright, then."

* * *

The train trip passed quickly enough, and it felt like no time at all had passed before Fenris was looking out the window and seeing the lights of the station silhouetted against the black night.

Marisol tagged along with the three of them as they made their way up to where everyone else was going - the first years were being led down to the lake, but the new second years were swept up in the crowd with everyone else, up to where the carriages waited.

Loki had already warned Fenris about the thestrals, so he wasn't surprised when he saw them. They were a little more skeletal than Fenris had expected, though - skin stretched over bones, or maybe just a very, _very_ small amount of muscle.

Neither Marisol nor the twins commented on the thestral. Obviously they wouldn't be able to see it - what eleven-year-old would have seen death?

Fenris thought, as he climbed into the carriage, that Hel would have liked them. They seemed interesting enough to him, so why wouldn't she?

The ride up to the school seemed much shorter, or maybe it just went faster with the four of them talking instead of sitting nervously in what felt like a precariously rocking boat. They didn't have to wait to be let in, either. The gates and doors were standing open for them, admitting a sea of students in black robes.

Fenris played with his scarf nervously. At least the uniform was something he was vaguely used to - he had liked the 'old-fashioned' look that some of the students had complained about the year before. He liked wearing his scarf over his, if only to have something to show his House pride with. It also gave him something to do with his hands in the middle of the loud crowd.

Fenris didn't like being around so many _people._

The frustrating part was that he couldn't quite remember why.

"C'mon!" Lysander tugged at Fenris's sleeve, pulling him over to the Hufflepuff table. Lillian waved to them before disappearing amid the crowd of Slytherin students with Marisol.

"Why hurry?"

"I want to get seats near the professor's table," Lysander said. "I heard there's something big going on this year."

"Something big? Like what?"

"I don't know. Mum wouldn't tell us anything. But I heard her and her friend Hermione talking," Lysander said, with the air of a magician revealing his final trick, as they found an empty place near the front. "And _Hermione_ said that the last time the Ministry had to do this much work about something was probably when they had the Triwizard Tournament back when mum was still at school here."

"What's the Triwizard Tournament?"

"What it sounds like, really," Lysander said frankly (and unhelpfully). "But I don't think it's that, because apparently it didn't end well last time."

The question on the tip of Fenris's tongue was interrupted by the doors at the end of the hall opening, admitting a nervous-looking gaggle of first-years. Fenris glanced up at the front, where Muriel stood with the Hat, same as she had last year.

"How many do you think are going to be Hufflepuffs?" Lysander whispered to him as the Hat's brim widened and it began to sing.

Fenris shrugged, and then amended his answer to a whispered "I don't know." Lysander was looking up at the Hat, not at him.

As the song wound to a close, Muriel stepped forward again to begin calling names. Fenris felt his eyes drawn to one girl in particular. He scrutinized the back of her head, mousy brown hair barely brushing her shoulders, but didn't realize why she seemed important until she turned around to sit on the stool and he saw the pendant around her neck.

He couldn't tell what it was, from this far away, but he knew enough to realize it was something magical.

Something _Norse._

And judging from the pull, something that had to do with him.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" The Hat shouted out.

This was awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!


	9. Unwelcome Guests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, foreshadowing.
> 
> Don't worry, it's nothing that bad :) And at least you finally get to find out who the girl was!
> 
> A note - Æsir is the plural of Ás, which is the proper word for a person from Asgard (not 'Asgardian' for those who know Norse mythology through Marvel. If the latter applies, throw everything you know out the window, because Marvel took some pretty wide liberties with the Norse).

There was a brown-haired boy a little down the table whooping loud enough to be heard over the cheering as the girl made her way to the Hufflepuff table. He immediately pulled her into a seat next to him, grinning broadly.

Fenris glanced down the table, but he still couldn't figure out what her necklace was meant to be. She was facing away from him, talking excitedly to the boy who had cheered so loudly.

"What are you staring at?" Lysander leaned over to see. "Oh, don't start. Lillian already stares enough for three people."

Fenris frowned.

"That's Teddy Lupin," Lysander clarified. "Remember?"

"Oh." Fenris didn't remember seeing him before. He did have the same mousy brown hair as the girl he'd just greeted, though.

Fenris was fidgety through the rest of the Sorting. He knew _objectively_ that yes, there were people out there who went for him as their main... _focus_ in worshipping (even if he didn't really get that kind of vibe from the girl) but he hadn't thought that so far in the future things would be the same.

Fenris shook his head. _Not the future,_ he reminded himself. _Just not the year you're used to._

"I guess I didn't remember him," he said aloud.

"That's reasonable, he's only been in our same House all last year," Lysander said sarcastically. Fenris snorted.

"He's not in our same _year._ "

"That's not the point, he's still a Hufflepuff."

"I can't know _every_ Hufflepuff."

"I'm just _saying..._ "

They were interrupted by McGonagall standing up, the hall descending into sudden silence.

"Welcome," McGonagall said crisply, "to a new year, and to our old and new students alike." She paused to let a round of applause rise and die out. "Before we proceed to the feast, however, I have an announcement to make."

A murmur of interest ran through the Hall. Fenris guessed the announcement had something to do with the empty chair at the table, on one side of McGonagall to her immediate left.

"This year," McGonagall said, "Hogwarts has been one of six schools chosen for an exchange program."

The murmur, when it came, was louder. Lysander sat up straighter. "Transfer?" He said, surprised, and it's almost inaudible in the sudden burst of chatter from around them.

Looking impatient, McGonagall rapped her fingers on the table and managed to silence the entire Hall with just that gesture. "If I could keep your attention?" She asked sharply. "In an effort to expand our worldview, as part of post-war movements by current Ministry members and veterans, students will be visiting other schools to share culture and to learn how methods of magic may differ from one country to the next."

Everyone was staring up at McGonagall with rapt attention as she continued. "Hogwarts, for the first semester of this year, will be hosting several students from Durmstrang. The representative for the school, while not yet here-"

She paused as a door at one end of the table creaked open, the teachers looking towards it as a man slipped through, closing the door behind him.

Fenris's hands tightened into fists, his robes bunching up in his grip.

Not a man.

As the representative sat down, Fenris saw clearly that he only had one hand. His shirtsleeve was drawn over the stump of the other one, but the sight for some unfathomable reason sent a shiver through Fenris.

Lysander wasn't looking at him, too busy staring up at the staff table with everybody else. McGonagall was talking again, but Fenris wasn't paying attention.

He _knew_ Tyr.

So why did the sight of him make Fenris angry?

* * *

Helena settled on his bed late in the night, when everyone but Fenris was already asleep.

"I saw you staring at that man," she said. Of course she had - the ghosts, especially the House ghosts, were always in the Hall on the first night. "Who is he?"

Fenris sat up slowly. "His name is Tyr," he said.

"One of you?"

"No," Fenris said. "He's Æsir. From Asgard," he added when Helena looked confused.

"Is he a friend?" Helena questioned, her brow furrowed in concern.

Fenris opened his mouth to answer and then reconsidered. "I don't know," he said slowly. "I met him. Once. But...he gives me a bad feeling." _And I don't know why he's here, or what for._

Helena studied Fenris, as if looking for a lie. "You could ask your father," she offered. "He might know if Tyr's ever done anything to your family."

"No." Fenris shook his head. "This is - I think it has to do with what I don't remember. Dad won't answer if we try to ask him about that."

"He won't?" Helena looked puzzled. "Surely you have a right to know."

Fenris shrugged. "We've never asked outright. We just try to slip it into a conversation, but he changes it to some other topic or pretends he doesn't realize what we're trying to say."

"Maybe you should try," Helena said. "Better to know if he's going to try anything, isn't it?"

"I guess," Fenris said. "I'll write. Tomorrow."

Helena nodded, looking satisfied. "Go to sleep," she said. "You need it."

Fenris was tempted to roll his eyes. He was sure Muriel put Helena up to this. But he rolled over, tugging the blankets up to his neck. "Alright. Goodnight, Helena."

* * *

Fenris dreamed.

Which was weird in of itself.

He'd visited Asgard once, when he was much younger, and only for a little while (his mother would never have approved). It was there that the dream took him again, a rainbow bridge under his feet that was only called a rainbow because the colors happen to resemble each other.

A memory of arms slipped around him, lifting up and laughing. The streets were emptier than he knew they should be, his memory not good enough to replicate everyone who had been there.

They were in a hall. Fenris remembered that. A hall full of warriors, laughing and drinking and eating, but whenever Fenris looked straight at any of them he saw only empty benches, no plates or weapons left behind to mark a place.

Like he was surrounded by only the illusion of people.

He saw the wolves first, slinking through the crowd. A hand pressed something into his, Loki's voice at his ear. "Go on. See if they like that."

Fenris tossed the scrap of meat, and the wolves jumped for it, one of them snatching it out of the air and the other snapping at the first.

Fenris was first aware of their master when he felt someone's gaze on him.

One eye regarded him from under a broad-brimmed hat, the other hidden behind an eyepatch. "Those are wolves, boy, not dogs," he said. "Careful how you treat them, lest they bite you."

Next to him, but just out of his line of sight, Loki laughed delightedly. "Where have you been this time?" He asked. "Off calling yourself something else again?"

"Perhaps," Oðinn said. He wasn't holding a traveler's staff, like Fenris had thought it was - it was a spear, golden and with a heavy-looking blade that shone.

"Sit down and tell me about it, old friend."

"Is this your son?"

"Who else's?" Loki sounded amused. Fenris scooted away from Oðinn's intense gaze, and familiar arms pulled him onto his dad's lap. "If you keep staring at Fenris, I'll start to think you've got something against him."

Oðinn didn't answer.

Fenris was abruptly alone on the bench. He scrabbled for a trace of his father, but Loki was nowhere, and the ghostly not-quite-there, blank- and blurry-faced Æsir warriors were now gathered behind Oðinn.

Tyr was among them, except dream-him had both hands.

They were holding something thin and golden in their hands, like an extraordinarily thin rope, or a ribbon. Fenris didn't know why the scene terrified him.

The wolves were behind Fenris, growling at the assembled crowd. Fenris's hands found the scruff of one of them.

"Help me," he pleaded, even though he knew they were Oðinn's wolves, more likely to tear him to pieces than to listen.

The one on the left looked up at him, with eyes more knowledgeable than a normal wolf's. "Shit, kid," he said, "it's your dream, not mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohhh boy, Fen.
> 
> Side note, Oðinn is the original spelling of the name Odin, which you could probably guess (it's also pronounced /O/-thin, with a hard th, in the original pronunciation).
> 
> Comment, please!


	10. Teachers and Rivalries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it got confusing towards the end there, but hey, it's a dream. And everything will be explained - in time.
> 
> And you can totally trust me when it comes to these things.
> 
> Dreams might be cropping up again - probably in this chapter, possibly in the next if I can't fit it in. But there's definitely more than just what I hinted at in the last one to explore.

Quite honestly, the talking wolf was the least weird part about the dream, in Fenris's opinion.

Unlike most of the dreams he'd had ever since his family had gotten back together, it didn't start to fade as soon as he woke up. Fenris wasn't sure whether it was a good change or not. It lingered in his mind all the way up until he walked into the Great Hall, where other things made him forget about it.

He'd forgotten that Tyr was still in the school.

His seat at the staff table hadn't changed, but Fenris remembered that he was supposed to be there as soon as he laid eyes on the god - it was a nastier shock to walk into Transfiguration and see him shadowing Muriel.

Tyr's eyes locked onto Fenris as soon as he entered the classroom. Fenris stopped just inside the doorway, staring back until Lysander nudged him forward with a complaint of "You're blocking the door, Fabian."

Muriel looked stiffly furious, tight-lipped and standing straight as a poker in front of her desk. Fenris didn't miss the two students at the back, either - a boy and a girl who looked uncomfortable under the curious stares from the Hogwarts students.

"As I'm sure you've noticed," Muriel said once everyone had sat down, "we have guests with us in class today. I should hope that none of you will try to derail today's lesson with questions - we are having class as usual. Understood?"

As if on cue, everyone nodded.

"Good." And Muriel made good on her words, even if she was less patient than usual and a little more curt with her instructions.

Fenris couldn't stop glancing at Tyr. The other god hadn't taken his eyes off him once, his narrow glare making Fenris fidgety and uncomfortable.

The only relief came when one of the Durmstrang students accidentally turned her beetle into a larger beetle - one that wasn't happy. Muriel swept in and reversed it, shooting Tyr a dirty look. "Mr. Hymirsson, perhaps if you kept an eye on your _own_ students, we could have fewer of these incidents."

"I prefer not to do my student's magic for them," Tyr said coolly, and Muriel bristled.

"Then warn them before they Transfigure the desk on accident," Muriel sniped back. "And Ms. Mickelsen, please try to concentrate on what you are turning it into, not what you fear about the beetle."

The girl blushed and nodded, turning her attention back on the beetle. Tyr's narrow gaze lingered on Muriel's back in distaste as she walked away.

* * *

"What's up with _him_?" Lysander asked later, scrunching his nose in distaste. "Professor Angelo's great. I don't get why he doesn't like her."

Fenris was pretty sure he did, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to out Muriel's secret identity.

"Hey! Uh - Lysander!"

They both turned around.

Teddy Lupin was standing behind them, hair slightly windswept and something dangling from his hand. "Hey," he said breathlessly. "I, uh - Harriet dropped this earlier, and I have to go talk with Professor Sprout afterschool about a thing - uh, a project I have, so could one of you give this to her for me?"

Fenris recognized the object, if only for the slight tingle of power around it and the fact that it was dangling from a cord. "I'll take it," he said quietly, holding out his hand.

Teddy dropped the necklace in his hand. "Thanks! She'll probably be in the common room after class - she's probably already noticed it's missing, actually, so if you see her before that-"

"I'll give it to her when I see her."

Teddy grinned. "Right. Okay. Thanks again!" He shot off as quickly as he'd come up behind them, melting into a group of other third years.

Fenris didn't keep walking, one hand tight around the pendant.

"Something wrong?" Lysander questioned.

"It's..." Fenris held up the pendant. The wood was smooth, like it had been rubbed to a neat finish by age. The animal it showed was curled around itself, something between its paws - a ball?

"It's what?"

"Meant to be me." Fenris felt like he'd undone some block by actually saying the words, something loosening in his throat.

"You?" Lysander gave the pendant a skeptical look. "Well, they didn't do a very good job. What is that, a wolf?"

A wolf.

Fenris shoved the pendant into Lysander's hands.

"What-"

"I can't-" Fenris couldn't even put into words why he was suddenly repulsed by this false representation. "I - I have to go, we've got class - you give it to her."

"Fabian, wait-"

Fenris was already moving away.

* * *

Lysander stopped at the foot of Fenris's bed. "Does that necklace mean she's pagan?"

Fenris was lying on his side, with his head facing the backboard. He didn't look up at Lysander. "Probably."

"Is that what freaked you out?"

"No," Fenris said. "This isn't the first time I've run into someone who worshipped someone in my family."

"Or you?"

"No. Well, yes, me. I mean that it's not the first time."

"So what was it?"

Fenris curled his hand into the blanket, wrinkling the smooth material. "I'm not a wolf," he said quietly - he snapped his mouth shut when he heard the edge of a growl enter his voice.

"Um," was Lysander's only response. "Obviously?" He moved around to the head of the bed, sitting by Fenris's feet. "How do you know it was you, anyway?"

"I can tell," Fenris said, looking down to meet his eyes. "It's a god thing."

"This isn't weird to you?"

"No. Why?"

"Well..." Lysander hesitated. "If she's, you know-"

"She's not," Fenris said. "It's just the necklace. I would notice anything bigger."

"Really?" Lysander looked curious. "What's that like? Do you just...know?"

Fenris considered the question. "Sort of," he said slowly. "If you knew Norse, maybe I could explain it better."

"Oh." Lysander looked disappointed.

"It's like if you know something," Fenris tried, "but you can't quite remember where you learned it, or who told you. Or seeing someone and recognizing them, even if you've never met before." He sat up, shaking his head. "No, that's stupid. That's not what I meant. It - it's like you know someone, but they don't know you."

"Like seeing someone who looks familiar but you don't know where you saw them before?" Lysander offered.

"Yes! Like that," Fenris said in relief. "I know them when I see them."

"That's pretty cool," Lysander said.

Fenris shrugged, lying back down. He had a mounting headache, and he wished it would go away - it felt like someone was pressing something sharp into his forehead, and no amount of rubbing made the feeling go away.

"You okay?"

"It's nothing," Fenris said, mustering a smile. "I'll be fine by tomorrow." He hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!


	11. Physical Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but I'm nowhere near done upping the level of angst in this. I mean, so far it's been pretty tame.
> 
> Especially compared to what's coming.

The dreams seemed to be a recurring theme.

Fenris was glad when Helena woke him up, the freezing-cold touch on his knee making him shoot into a sitting position. Helena darted to the other side of the bed, having already found out what happened when she woke Fenris up in the middle of a bad dream.

"Sorry," Fenris said sheepishly, feeling his magic retreat, coiling back inside him. This kind of thing had gotten worse at Hogwarts - probably because he was trying to force it through his wand all the time.

"You should really work on controlling that," Helena suggested.

"I can't help it," Fenris protested - quietly, though, since everyone else in the dorm was probably still asleep. "My magic is different than yours."

"Even so," Helena said, slightly primly - she was from the tenth century, after all. "Mother wants to speak with you, by the way. I think it's about Hymirsson."

It took Fenris a moment to realize Helena meant Tyr. He couldn't really say he was surprised. "Now?"

"It's Friday," Helena pointed out, "and no one will notice that you're spending more time than usual with a teacher."

Fenris scrubbed a hand over his face, sliding off the bed and trying to remember where he'd put his robe. "I guess." He nearly tripped over the robe - it must have fallen out of his trunk.

"Students are so careless now," Helena said disapprovingly. "You know, in the thirteenth century-"

"I wasn't any neater then," Fenris griped, pulling his robe on. "And leaving on the floor was an _accident._ "

"If you say so."

* * *

Muriel was in her office, and the fire burning in the fireplace helped chase away some of the lingering shadows in Fenris's mind.

"I would say good night, but that feels more like a farewell," Muriel said. "Did Helena wake you up?"

"I didn't mind," Fenris said.

Muriel gave him a searching look. "Bad dreams?"

"Not exactly." Muriel's chairs were so squishy that the seat sank a little under Fenris's weight. "Helena said you wanted to talk about Tyr."

"Is _that_ his first name?" Muriel set her cup to the side. She seemed to be drinking tea every time Fenris saw her outside of classes. "You do know him, then."

"A little bit," Fenris said. "I've only met him once before. Why doesn't he like you?"

"Oh," Muriel said, and it sounded like a sigh. "Old arguments. Not that I've ever personally met a god before, besides your father. I assume Tyr normally lives in Asgard?"

Fenris nodded, but he didn't miss the fact that Muriel hadn't really answered. "I've only been there once," he said. "We didn't live there. Dad just visited, sometimes. I think he went there to see his brother and left when they got into arguments."

"His brother?" Muriel looked almost startled.

"Oðinn," Fenris said. "You didn't know that?"

"No." Muriel looked throughtful. "I suppose I'll have to brush up on my mythology."

"Maybe avoid the stories about us," Fenris said.

"I'll keep that in mind," Muriel said. "What exactly is Tyr the god of?"

Fenris made a face. "That isn't how it works," he said. "We're not like the Greeks. One person doesn't just do one thing. But Oðinn put him in charge of justice and stuff. And he was a warrior, but everyone in Asgard is. Except dad. Sort of."

"Dispensing justice, you mean?" Probably seeing the confusion on Fenris's face, Muriel added, "punishing people so Oðinn didn't have to worry about it."

"Yeah." Fenris played with the buttons on his robes, his eyes drifting away from Muriel until he realized it probably looked like he was staring at the table. He took one of the cookies Muriel had a little tin of, as an excuse for drifting away from the conversation. "I don't know why he would be here," he said, then took a bite to avoid saying anything else. It was chocolate. That was lucky. He was sure there were some in the tin that were the weird, chewy kind.

"Your dreams," Muriel began carefully. "Did Tyr showing up make them worse?"

"...No," Fenris lied. They had been pretty bad to begin with, so it was true that there wasn't _much_ of a difference. "Tonight wasn't _that_ bad."

"Compared to what?" Muriel nudged her cup to the side, as if to clear the table between the two of them. "You know you can talk about it, if it will help. Maybe to figure out if these are just dreams, or...something else."

Fenris knew that Muriel knew about him, and the gap in his memories. His dad had probably told her. He wasn't bothered by it - he liked Muriel. But he could hear what she wasn't saying; she was worried. Probably because she knew this had been going on for well over a decade.

"Wolves," he said eventually, looking down at the table again. "I...they fade, once I wake up. But there were wolves."

"More than one?"

Fenris nodded. "Not a lot. But...plural."

"And then?"

Unconsciously, Fenris rubbed his arm. Muriel's eyes caught the movement, eyebrows drawing down in a furrow of concern.

"It's not - I'm not hurt," Fenris said quickly. "It happens sometimes, after dreams."

"So the wolves didn't attack you?"

"...It wasn't really _attacking,_ they - it wasn't."

"Fenris," Muriel said softly, "if things that happen to you in your dreams are carrying over into real life-"

"They're not," Fenris said. "This is from before. I think."

Muriel closed her eyes briefly. "From before," she said quietly. "You don't remember how you were hurt."

"No," Fenris said, even though it wasn't a question.

Muriel stood up, and for a moment Fenris thought she might be angry, but all she did was move around the table and crouch next to his chair, holding out her hands. "May I see?"

Fenris hesitated, but only for a little. Loki trusted Muriel, and Fenris _knew_ her.

It wasn't like she was _really_ learning anything new.

Muriel still sucked in a breath when Fenris pulled his sleeves up, the loose fabric of the robe slipping down a little as soon as he let go. The firelight didn't make it look any worse than usual, but Fenris knew it wasn't a pleasant sight.

His hands looked small, compared to Muriel's. They were much darker, too, but less so in the places where pale scars wrapped around his wrists and where his palms lightened naturally.

Fenris looked at anything but Muriel as she ran light fingers over one of the raised scars, crisscrossed over the ones on his wrist.

"Does your dad know about this?" She asked softly.

"Of course he does," Fenris said, somewhat bemused. Why wouldn't Loki know about his scars?

Muriel sighed, standing and turning away. "Gabriel, you..." She didn't finish the sentence. "He's never offered to talk this over with you?"

Fenris pulled his sleeves down again. "Dad doesn't like talking about it."

"His discomfort shouldn't..." Muriel made a frustrated noise, and the fire jumped slightly in the grate. "Your dream was a memory, wasn't it?"

"...I don't know." He had talked about this, before, with Jormungand and Slepnir. They'd all known that it was a possibility that their nightmares were when they remembered things, but without their dad confirming it..."I think so," he admitted, one hand rubbing over where he could feel the raised scars. He knew there were more, around his ankles, and one just below his knee. "I always thought...in the dream, it seemed like they were trying to get it off."

"Get 'it' off?" Muriel turned around. "Get what off?"

Fenris opened his mouth and then closed it, frowning at the rug on the floor. "I..." What had he meant by that? He'd just been thinking out loud.

Muriel seemed to realize that he had no idea what the answer was. "I think that's enough for tonight," she said. "Maybe you should try-"

"I'd rather stay up," Fenris interrupted, knowing what she was going to suggest. "Um. Please."

"Alright." Muriel sat back down. "Though I warn you I don't have much to do in here."

"That's alright." He didn't need to be entertained. He just didn't want to go back to sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please :)


	12. Issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully things will begin to heat up soon, because there's so much I've been meaning to get into! That means this will also be a lot longer than previous chapters, btw.
> 
> Oh, did I say hopefully? I meant they will.
> 
> Be prepared for this chapter. That's all I'm saying. Brace yourselves. Maybe invest in a couple therapeutic punching bags before continuing.
> 
> Anyway, on with the show :)

Part of the conversation lingered with Fenris for a long while before he figured out what Muriel had said that had been so off.

She'd called his dad Gabriel - not Loki.

It wasn't like Fenris didn't know that his dad had used to call himself Gabriel. Vali had explained it to them, back when Loki had still been away most of the time. But that didn't mean a it made a lot of sense.

He would have thought Muriel would call him Loki. She seemed perceptive - why still call him Gabriel if he was Loki now? For all her intelligence, Fenris wasn't sure Muriel understood Loki that well.

It wasn't that Fenris minded that much, even when people thinking his dad was still Gabriel made them keep showing up at his house. But Balthazar had been alright, and so had Castiel (even if he'd acted odd most of the time, especially around the three of them), and Muriel was definitely on their side, so that was okay.

And his dad trusted them.

That was enough for Fenris.

* * *

It occurred to him, later, that he should probably write to his dad and let him know that Tyr was not only in this world, but in the castle itself.

Fenris got to the idea stage, but it was another week before he found the time to actually start writing a letter. 'Found', in this sense, meaning both remembering it and actually _wanting_ to do it at the same time as he remembered it.

"Why are you staring at that quill like it did something horrible to you?" Lysander asked.

"I should write to my dad," Fenris told him. "But I don't feel like it. And I don't think I even remember where the Owlrey is."

"I could show you," Lilian offered.

"I'd still have to write this first," Fenris said. He sighed, picking his head up off the table. "I don't know what to _say_." Or how to say it so that Loki didn't immediately come up to the castle to drag him back inside their house's wards.

"I always have that problem," Lysander said, nodding sagely. "Just think about what's happened that's interesting enough to be a story and write that. It doesn't matter if you wander a bit."

"Wander where?" Fenris gave him a quizzical look.

"In the letter."

It must have been a figure of speech. Fenris picked up the quill. He at least knew how to _start_ the letter. _Dear dad._

Maybe he could just be blunt. _Tyr is at Hogwarts._

Fenris hesitated. Should he include how nervous Tyr made him feel? His dad probably guessed that he was still having nightmares, but he didn't want to get into the details of those. Again.

 _I don't know why he's here or how he arrived._ Fenris had eavesdropped on and just plain overheard enough conversations to know about the whole different-world-tree thing, although he had no idea why his dad would purposefully seek out a completely different world. _He came with some exchange students from the north as a teacher. Everything else is the same as last year.  
_

Fenris paused, poking the end of the quill into his chin, and then added _I am looking forward to seeing you over Christmas._

He snorted even as he wrote it. Fenris rubbed his finger over _I a_ _m,_ vanishing the ink, and wrote _I'm_ instead.

"Whoa," Lysander said. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" Fenris glanced down at his ink-smudged finger. "Oh. That."

"Why are you even here if you already know _nonverbal, wandless_ magic?" Lillian demanded, sounding aggrieved.

"This is a different kind of magic," Fenris said. "I wanted to learn _your_ kind."

"Magic's magic," Lysander said immediately, like it was something he'd been told before.

"We've already mentioned that I'm a lot different than you," Fenris pointed out. "Is it that surprising that my magic is different?"

"That's just not fair," Lillian said. "We've still got _years_ to go."

"I've been learning magic for ages. A lot long than you'll ever have to," Fenris replied. "There's not schools for this."

There was a pause while all three of them processed what he'd just said.

" _My_ version of it," Fenris corrected himself halfheartedly.

"So who taught you?" Lysander asked.

"My dad," Fenris said. "I thought _everyone_ still did that, until I came here."

"Not everyone has magical parents." Lillian propped her chin in her hands, staring at Fenris curiously.

"It doesn't have to be a dad. Or mom. Anyone who already knows magic and will teach you."

"That's a really vague set of requirements," Lysander said.

Fenris shrugged. "Magic is rare." That, at least, didn't seem to have changed.

* * *

It was a few days later when Fenris remembered the letter he'd tucked into one of his books. Finding it turned into a minor excavation until he finally unearthed it from the bottom of his bag.

He still didn't know where the Owlrey was, though.

"Oh," Lysander said, "that's alright, I wasn't doing anything important. I can show you."

Lysander talked while they meandered through the hallways, and it didn't feel like they were really going somewhere except when Lysander occasionally interrupted himself with something like "Oh, no, I think it was the other turn..." or "Whoops, this way," and tugged Fenris to the right or left to follow while he picked up where he'd left off.

Lysander liked talking, but Fenris knew that he only talked when he was sure it was welcome, so when he did he talked a _lot._ Fenris didn't mind, because it meant he could stay quiet with only the occasional agreeable noise.

Lysander was really just as loud as Lillian, just a little more tactful and shy about it.

He was in the middle of wondering aloud whether he should have done his Astronomy homework earlier when they rounded a corner and nearly ran into someone.

"Oh - sorry professor," Lysander said hastily, as Fenris froze in place, dread settling down heavily.

"You should be more careful," Tyr said, before he noticed Fenris. The fingers on his one hand curled and then relaxed, like he was making a fist and then thought better of it. His tone got (almost unnoticeably) more hostile. "What are you two doing wandering around?"

"We were just looking for the Owlrey," Lysander said, oblivious to the tension.

"In case one of us needed to send a letter," Fenris managed. Lysander gave him a quizzical look, and Fenris mentally used one of the words he'd overheard his dad use in a particularly bad circumstance. Couldn't Lysander have just gone with it?

Fenris managed to muster some pride at the fact that he didn't immediately shrink away from Tyr's gaze. Mostly, though, the Ás staring him down was freaking him out and making him glad he'd stuffed the letter in his pocket. He didn't want to think about Ty'r possible reaction to knowing he was sending a letter to his dad.

This was stupid. _He_ was being stupid. Tyr was just a single Ás and Fenris didn't even know for sure that he meant him harm. Why _panic_ so badly?

"Come on." Lysander tugged at his sleeve. Fenris's legs reluctantly unfroze, and Fenris inched around Tyr as Lysander pulled him along. "Let's keep going, you won't believe how many owls are up there."

Fenris's eyes didn't leave Tyr, even as Lysander pulled him down the hall. It wasn't out of reluctance to leave - some part of him was insisting that turning away from Tyr for even an instant, leaving him unwatched, was a very, _very, very bad idea._

As soon as they rounded the corner, Fenris leaned against the wall and sat down very abruptly.

" _Fabian-_ " Lysander sounded alarmed. He reached out for Fenris's shoulder, but Fenris flinched away, pushing himself back and only managing to scrape his hands on the floor.

"Don't _touch_ me." Fenris snapped, then recoiled at the anger in his voice. He hadn't meant to sound like _that._

Lysander looked hurt. "I was trying to help. You're scaring me."

Fenris shrank into himself, crossing his arms like a protective barrier. "It's not _you._ "

"Then what? You're always - acting weird - and you never explain any of it. Me and Lillian are your friends! What are you so scared of?"

Fenris _didn't know,_ and it was infuriating.

Lysander's hurt expression deepened into something more angry when Fenris didn't answer. "You have to _ask_ for help if you need it. I'm not going to think you're not good enough or anything-"

"It's not any of your business!" Fenris didn't _want_ to tell him. He could barely put it into words himself. "I don't _have_ to tell you anything."

Lysander's mouth set into a small, stubborn shape. "Fine, then," he retorted. "You can - you can do this on your own, if you don't want anybody's help."

And he turned and stalked away down the hall.

* * *

"Hi."

Fenris glanced up warily. Teddy Lupin looked back down at him, hair bright yellow.

"You looked lonely."

"I did?"

Teddy nodded. "Normally you're with Lysander, right?"

Normally. "Yeah," Fenris muttered.

"D'you wanna play Exploding Snap?"

Fenris took a moment to try and mentally translate what Teddy had just said. "Exploding...what?"

"Snap. You've never heard of it?"

Fenris shook his head. The fact that 'exploding' was in the name made him wary of whatever kind of game this was.

"It's fun. Here, I can play with Harriet and show you - hey! Harriet!"

"What!" Harriet shouted back from the other side of the common room.

"C'mere! Let's play Exploding Snap!"

"I'm doing homework!"

"You can do that later!"

"Oi, Lupin," one of the prefects said, "stop distracting your sister. It's a good habit to make to get homework out of the way."

Teddy shrugged dismissively. Harriet was already moving over, and Fenris was relieved to see that she wasn't wearing the pendant from before. The one she had on was something else, a six-pointed metallic star.

"What are we playing for?" She asked.

"Fabian hasn't ever before."

"Really?" She stared at him. "Why not?"

Fenris shrugged uncomfortably. "Don't own it."

"It's brilliant. And we'd better use your set," she added, turning back to Teddy, "because Marisol in Slytherin borrowed mine and something must have happened to it, because the magic's been all funny since then and it explodes at odd times."

"That's what it's supposed to do."

" _Bad_ times. And lots more than it's supposed to."

"Alright, I was just saying. I'll go get mine." Teddy wandered off through the usual crowd of students doing homework in the common room, or (which the majority consisted of) simply talking to each other or in a big, loud group discussion over some topic that changed every five minutes so smoothly it was impossible to tell unless you listened closely.

Fenris had been listening to them for a while, for lack of anything better to do.

"You're not in my year, are you?" Harriet asked. "Only you look familiar, and I'm sure I don't remember all the boys yet."

"No. This is my second year."

"Oh, okay." Harriet looked thoughtful for a minute. "Oh, _I_ know - Jack looks a bit like you, that's who I was thinking of." She sat down on the floor, playing idly with her star pendant. "Hey, there's a Jack in your year, isn't there?"

"Yes," Fenris said, because there _was_ a Jack in his dorm, who he always got mixed up with Xander because their names _were_ similar, no matter what the two of them said.

"There's lots of people with the same name. My mum says when she went here there were barely four people in each year, can you imagine?"

Fenris really couldn't. How drafty had the old castle been? There had to be at _least_ six other boys, and they only made up half of the second-year Hufflepuffs, much less all the second-years in the whole school. "Must have been quiet, then."

Harriet looked taken aback for a second, and then grinned. "Must've."

Fenris was in the middle of trying to decipher the word when Teddy returned, bearing a pack of cards embossed with what _looked_ like gold, but that was much too expensive for just thick paper. Maybe the same paint Lysander's mother had used on their ceiling?

"Are you gonna play?" Teddy held out the cards invitingly. When Fenris hesitated, he added, "or do you want to watch and see how it goes first?"

"I'll watch you," Fenris said, relieved that he'd been given a polite way out.

Teddy shook the cards out into his hand, discarding the box and splitting the deck between him and Harriet. "Regular version, or tower version?" He asked.

Harriet looked thoughtful for a moment. "Tower version," she decided.

'Tower version' turned out to mean 'see how high you can build the cards into a tower by carefully propping them against each other until one explodes and collapses the whole thing'.

"Halloween's coming up," Harriet said cheerfully, propping two cards up against each other to start over. She looked unbothered by the fact that it had just (literally) blown up in her face. "Are you planning anything?"

"No." Teddy carefully added a few cards. "It's not like I can go to Hogsmeade. I'm not allowed 'til next year."

"I bet you could sneak in if you tried," Harriet said brightly, and then the cards exploded, making her shriek (partly in delight, it sounded like) and making Fenris jump. The commotion meant she missed the wary glace Teddy threw at Fenris, who was studiously pretending his mind hadn't flashed back to anything at all.

"It's not _that_ great." Teddy scoffed, gathering the cards into a pile with hands that were soot-stained from previous explosions. "The best places there are Honeydukes and Fred and George's, and we've been to the one in Diagon Alley plenty of times."

"It's not the same. Fabian, d'you want to play?"

Fenris hesitated, then shook his head. "I'm alright watching."

"You sure? It's fun."

"I'm sure." Very sure.

Teddy shrugged. "Fine with me. Wanna see if I can get to two feet before it blows up?"

* * *

October seemed to rush by. It hadn't been that long until Halloween came, as Harriet had mentioned, but it felt like only a few days before the Great Hall was decorated in pumpkins and candles and bats swooping over their heads.

Lysander had come to sit, sheepishly, next to Fenris. He hadn't outright apologized, but Fenris had missed him and so didn't point it out. Besides, he looked guilty enough, and Fenris did feel bad himself that he was keeping so many secrets.

It was all too complicated, and he had to remember that Lysander was only twelve anyway.

Fenris liked the feast, though. It was very modern and very strange, but it was fun, and it made Lysander talk excitedly like nothing had ever happened.

The normal food vanished, once everyone was done, and it was replaced with a feast of sweets and Fenris had known about _that_ because his dad loved them, but _holy crap._

There was _so much of it in one place._ Fenris had only ever seen Hogwarts's feasts matched the few times he'd been in Asgard, but this was just crazy.

"Here, try, this," Lysander said at _least_ five times, shoving different enchanted candies into Fenris's hands and one time a truly enormous lollipop that he didn't even attempt to eat. There was no way he'd finish it and still be able to eat everything he wanted to try.

Yes, it was the same feast they'd put out last year. Fenris was allowed to be excited.

"Wonder what those are," Lysander said, voice muffled through a mouthful of chocolate. He was pointing at a small dish of cookies that had weird green sprinkles that Fenris was not entirely sure were sprinkles.

"Maybe they're sweets from Durmstrang," Elijah suggested. Fenris recognized him, but he didn't talk to the other Hufflepuff much. "Foreign food for foreign students?"

"Maybe," Lysander agreed. "Wonder what it is."

Fenris took one, biting into it cautiously, and then made a face. "It's not very good," he said, swallowing down what he'd eaten, "foreign or not." It would be awkward to put the rest of the cookie back, but he sure as hell wasn't eating it.

"Let me see." Lysander took a bite from the other side, and then demonstrated how he had zero qualms about spitting food out. " _Ech._ What is this green stuff? I don't think it's meant to go on sweets."

"If it tastes like _that,_ it shouldn't be." Fenris popped a small chocolate in his mouth to get rid of the taste. "And if they really do eat that where they come from, I won't be surprised if they want to stay forever."

That made Lysander laugh - and Elijah, which is a nice surprise.

"They're leaving at the end of the semester, though," Elijah said.

"What? Really?" Lysander sounded dismayed.

"Yeah, I heard Hymirsson arranged it. They're leaving after break, and we only get one transfer group a semester. I bet they're off to France next."

"But who's going to replace them?" Lysander questioned, distracted from Fenris's quiet relief.

Fenris let the conversation tune out. He wasn't particularly interested in who was coming next, and the news that Tyr would be leaving soon had just made his day.

* * *

Fenris fell into his bed as soon as they got back to the dorm.

"Tired already?" There was an edge of laughter in Lysander's voice.

"Yes," Fenris said, turning his head to give Lysander a Look, even though he wasn't really annoyed at all. "It's late!"

"Well, alright. I never said you couldn't be." Lysander backtracked hastily. "At least take off your clothes before you fall asleep."

Lysander was right. Unfortunately. Fenris wriggled out of his robe while moving as little as possible, throwing it in the vague direction of his trunk. He hadn't put on his tie or sweater before the feast and he'd already taken off his shoes, so he went straight under the covers and curled up.

There were vague noises of conversation from the other boys, but that died down quickly enough. The blanket was warm and the lights outside the dorm were on, and Fenris was hovering in a pleasant space between awareness and sleep.

It stopped being pleasant when he couldn't seem to fall asleep.

His head felt clouded and a little detached, but his brain refused to just turn off and let him sleep already. Fenris rolled over, even daring to pull the blankets up over his head for a moment, but that didn't help.

At some point that felt like it must have been midnight, the clouded feeling turned into a headache that felt like someone was pressing insistently at the inside of his forehead and Fenris went from being warm under the blanket to way too hot. He kicked the comforter off, but it didn't help.

There was a peculiar feeling in his throat and mouth like someone had replaced all his spit with hot air. It wasn't painful, but it was uncomfortable enough that he considered getting up to go to the bathroom for a drink of water.

Except he _really_ didn't feel like moving, in the I'm-going-to-fall-down-if-I-get-up way and not the I-don't-feel-like-it way.

"Are you still awake?" Lysander's whisper seemed louder than it should in the quiet dorm.

Someone groaned "Be quiet," and there was a rustling like someone turning over in bed.

"Yes," Fenris said quietly - he'd intended to whisper, but even he barely heard it.

Lysander's curtains twitched open, and in the dim backlighting Fenris couldn't make out his friend's face. "I didn't hear you."

"I said _yes._ " Fenris tried to be a little louder, and it worked - sort of.

Lysander slipped out of bed, tiptoeing over. "What?"

Fenris closed his eyes briefly in frustration and nodded, turning over to face Lysander.

"You look kinda sweaty."

"I am."

"It's freezing in here," Lysander protested.

"Shut up," complained the boy from before.

"James, leave 'em alone, you're waking the rest of us up."

Fenris closed his eyes when Lysander carefully touched his forehead.

"Um," Lysander said. "You feel really hot."

"I know," Fenris muttered. That was the problem.

"Lysander, go back to bed."

"No, I think Fabian's sick."

More blankets rustled. "Why?"

"He's really hot."

"Go get a prefect, then," James said.

"I'm not sick," Fenris tried to say, but it came out weird and scratched his throat on the way out. He didn't get human illnesses. He _couldn't_ get infected with them.

"Okay," the second boy said, "that does sound like he's sick."

"Can you get a prefect?" Lysander asked, sounding worried. "I don't want to-"

"My sister's Head Girl, I'll get her."

"Thanks, Sam."

Lysander climbed up to kneel on the bed as a dark shape temporarily blocked the light streaming in from the hallway. Fenris could hear the rapid noise of bare feet on stone, but it faded out of his range much sooner than it should have. Humans could only go so fast. Had something happened to his hearing?

"Are you okay?"

Fenris made a face at Lysander. "I don't get sick."

"Well, you sound like it. Just because of-" Lysander looked around guiltily. "You don't know for _sure_ you can't."

"Yes, I _do_." Ow. No more trying to shout. Fenris turned to press his face into the pillow, except that made it harder to breathe. He was not tearing up. He _wasn't._ He felt bad but it wasn't because he was sick, he just felt bad and if he could stop being about to cry it would probably make his throat feel better.

"If you are-"

"I'm not, stop saying I'm sick-" Fenris inhaled sharply and then took several more breaths like that because he couldn't seem to stop. "I thought you said I should work everything out on my own?"

It was mean and he knew it.

"I didn't mean this," Lysander said quietly. He shuffled a little bit further away from Fenris, but stayed on the bed. "I just meant-"

"What's going on?" The light was blocked by a much larger figure.

"It's Fabian," Sam said. Fenris felt Lysander slide off the bed, and then a much larger weight settled onto the end of it. "Lysander thinks he's sick."

" _He_ doesn't," Lysander said mutinously.

"It's okay, we'll figure things out. Hey, Fabian, right?" The Head Girl leaned closer to him.

Fenris nodded and tried to scoot away without being too obvious or curling up any more than he already was. He liked being spread out. It made him feel better.

"Okay. Are you feeling bad?"

Fenris nodded again, reluctantly, and then showed her two fingers put almost-but-not-quite together.

"Just a little? Why don't you want to talk?"

"He sounded really hoarse when he did," Lysander provided, refusing to acknowledge the dirty look Fenris gave him.

"I'm sure Madam Pomfrey'll be able to figure it out," Sam's sister said reassuringly. "It might just be a cold, and Pepper-Up potion fixes that in a second."

Oh, no. No no no. Fenris had _no_ idea what a human potion might do to him, and it definitely wasn't some mild human sickness.

But he didn't know what else to do, and he didn't have the energy to try to stop them from doing anything. And he still felt hot, and headachy, and he didn't want to talk in case it made everything worse.

Fenris wished his dad were there.

* * *

The sheets in the hospital wing were blessedly cool, but it was only a temporary reprieve. Fenris flipped the pillow over, but that seemed to use up all his energy and he just had to bear it when it stopped being cold.

Madam Pomfrey puttered around, but he had flinched so badly when she first pulled out her wand and pointed it at him that she hadn't performed a single bit of magic on him. She seemed unsure of herself without it, doing useless things like putting a cold cloth on his forehead.

It felt nice. But it still seemed mostly pointless.

The doors at the end of the room creaked.

"Headmistress-"

"Poppy, I'm sorry, I must ask that you allow me to take care of this." Fenris's spirits lifted slightly at McGonagall's voice. She could help, couldn't she? His dad knew her.

"What? You-"

"Have no medical experience, I'm aware, but there are several other factors at play here that your are not aware of."

"I should have been made aware of any medical issues." Madam Pomfrey sounded stiffly offended.

"I know, but there is more to this than you think. _Later,_ Poppy. I am not such a fool that I'll tell just anyone without at least letting the one who told _me_ know. He tends to get rather territorial over information, especially that concerning his own family."

Madam Pomfrey - or at least Fenris was pretty sure it was her - huffed. "If you're speaking of Fabian's father, I'd like to have a word or two with him-"

"I would sincerely warn against it. If you might leave us in privacy, please."

Fenris considered lifting the cloth off his face, since it was covering his eyes, but that would involve moving. And it was still a little bit cold. And he didn't want it to fall, even if it was staying in place with him lying on his side.

"What on Earth happened?" McGonagall asked.

"I don't know." Lysander sounded nervous. "He keeps insisting he's not sick."

"He clearly is, Mr. Lovegood."

"I know," Lysander said, in a very small voice. "I just-"

There was a sudden shift in the air, like thunder in the distance, and Fenris could hear what few leaves remained on the trees outside the window rustling in a strong wind.

The cloth finally slipped off his face, to his dismay, just as every light in the room flickered.

" _Fenris,_ " and Loki was right next to the bed, and Fenris had never been so relieved to see him in his life.

"What happened?" Oh, he sounded angry.

"I called you so we might attempt to figure it out," McGonagall replied, sounding perfectly calm. Fenris didn't think he'd be able to do the same with Loki's glare directed at him. Lysander scooted behind McGonagall slightly, as if attempting to shield himself.

Loki looked down at Fenris sharply, his expression immediately softening into worry. He was half kneeling on the bed, one hand on Fenris's shoulder.

"I don't know," Fenris whispered hoarsely. Whispering wasn't as hard on his throat. "I was really tired when we came back from the feast, but I couldn't sleep." He had to stop there, because for some reason his body has decided that that is too many words to say in a row and he feels worn out even though he's barely done anything all night.

"Maybe it was something he ate," McGonagall suggested.

"Gods aren't in the habit of getting food poisoning," Loki said, bitingly sarcastic.

"There were those weird cookies," Lysander said, and it was as if both adults had frozen.

"Weird cookies?" McGonagall said pointedly.

"Yeah," Lysander said slowly. "We thought they were there because of the Durmstrang kids. We both tried it, though, and I'm not sick. It had this weird stuff on it that looked like sprinkles but it tasted gross. It might have been a plant or something."

Loki's hand tightened to the point that it was painful.

"Mistletoe," he said, something like horror in his voice.

"What?" McGonagall questioned, but Loki didn't answer, picking Fenris up to clutch him to his chest and standing up. "Just a minute! You can't just leave-"

"I can do whatever the hell I want," Loki snarled, actually _snarled,_ interrupting her.

"Dad," Fenris whispered, suddenly very scared.

"It's going to be alright," Loki said, but Fenris could _tell_ he was just saying it.

Loki turned, and the world turned and changed around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ψ(｀∇´)ψ
> 
> Comment please! You know you want me. I have finals Friday and will probably be distracted, so outraged replies might encourage me to put the next chapter up faster....


	13. Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of me /probably/ passing my algebra final, here is a chapter a day early! I might post one tomorrow at the usual time, too, because there is/are some character(s) I've been itching to introduce.
> 
> Incidentally, anyone take me up on the punching bag thing I mentioned? You did seem very outraged, but there were only two of you who reviewed :P
> 
> I recently rewatched Song of the Sea (for those of you who haven't seen it, I'd absolutely recommend it, especially if you like mythology) and Gabriel reminds me a lot of Conor. Still a little sad and a grieving, in his own way. A good dad who takes care of his kids and does what he thinks is right, but that doesn't always align with what really is the best course of action for them. Needs to listen to his kids a little more, because they know what's going on.
> 
> A reminder - italics is people speaking Old Norse! And there's an underlined phrase that you can hover over for the translation (thanks 2 inukagome15 for help with the html)

Fenris didn't know what was going on, and it scared him.

Loki had rushed him home. He thought. He'd done something that made Fenris retch (probably an attempt to get whatever he'd eaten out of him, but Fenris wasn't really in a place to realize the logic of it).

But everything still hurt and he was too hot, and now on top of all that he felt exhausted, like someone had taken him and wrung him out like a towel.

It was probably because he'd thrown up. Fenris didn't care for rationality and all he could think was that he felt horrible and he hated it.

" _Don't fall asleep just yet_ ," Loki said softly. Fenris pried his eyes open and let himself be maneuvered into something close to a sitting position. He was glad Loki wasn't speaking English because he doubted he could have understood it at the moment. " _Here. Drink this_." Loki held a glass up to Fenris's mouth. " _It's just water, to get the taste out._ "

It felt like it was harder than it should have been to take a drink. Fenris managed not to spill anything on himself. It might have cooled him down a little if he had. Wet clothing equaled cold, right?

Thinking was hard.

" _Don't leave,_ " Fenris murmured.

" _No_ ," Loki promised softly. The bed dipped under his weight. Fenris leaned into his dad, partially because he wanted reassurance and partially because he was so exhausted his body was doing a lot without consulting him first. " _Try to sleep._ "

Fenris didn't need to be asked.

* * *

He dreamed, again.

It was a confusing mesh of things he wasn't quite sure were real and things that...seemed real, but there was still an edge of uncertainty.

The wolves came first. Again.

A pair of them. They twined around him but never seem to get quite close enough to touch. They took turns dancing away like they were trying to chase after something, but were reluctant to leave him. Fenris worked himself into a state wondering what they wanted with him, but he didn't wake up.

Normally he would wake up.

He might have woken up for a little bit, or what came next might have been a dream. He felt hot enough for it to be real, but there was a confusing mesh of voices in his first language and the wolves were still there.

They were draped across him like a blanket, and no matter how much Fenris pushed he couldn't get them off. Whoever was in the room didn't seem to notice, because they kept talking without doing anything. Fenris couldn't see them over the back of the wolf that was sitting on his chest.

The conversation refused to make sense to his ears. He knew the words, but he couldn't _understand_ them.

He tried pushing again, but his arms were trapped, pressed against his chest and he couldn't move his legs either, and there was a wolf on his chest and it was so heavy he couldn't _breathe-_

And then-

And then there was an almost physical sensation of calm and Fenris relaxed. There weren't any wolves. A comfortable drowsiness making his eyelids droop and someone's hand was stroking his hair.

He was. Being carried.

This was a memory.

He thought it was, anyway. It was very familiar. He was sure he remembered it happening.

A memory of hair tickled his face, just long enough that the ends made him want to sneeze. He remembered his head resting on a shoulder, a gentle rocking like someone swaying a bit while they walked.

" _Is he asleep?_ " Oh.

 _That_ voice, he remembered.

" _Not if you speak that loudly,_ " Loki said, fondness clear even if Fenris didn't remember his face.

" _My mistake_." There was a pause, and the rocking motion slowed until Loki was standing still. " _What is it_ _?_ "

" _Nothing. Just...appreciating what I have._ "

Fenris's memory of his mother scoffed, coming closer, close enough to probably press a kiss to Loki's cheek over Fenris's head. " _You worry. Leave your sadness for some other day, just once._ "

" _I know,_ " Loki murmured. " _I have you and Fen and the two upstairs. Why complain?_ "

" _You complain because you forget to take my advice._ " Arms scooped Fenris away from Loki, holding him against a softer curve of chest. He wrinkled his nose at more itchy hair, wriggling to move his head - or at least he remembered doing that. And he remembered-

" _Your hair, Angie,_ " Loki said, laughing. One of his arms brushed against Fenris as he pulled it away, and Angrboða's laugh vibrated through her chest so that he felt it as well as heard it.

" _My bad._ "

" _The pitfalls of long hair._ "

" _Oh, of course. Not to mention the chore of doing it up. I've been thinking I should leave it down, shock everyone wherever I go._ "

Loki's laugh was a lighter sound. " _I'd pay to see that._ "

Fenris stirred, trying to turn and look up. He remembered doing that, but he wanted to see his mom-

" _Shhh, Fenris_." A hand smoothed over his hair, then his back, and he settled down. _"Look, we've woken him up._ "

" _Ah. I'll take him upstairs._ " Loki had gotten much quieter, but he leaned in just a little to far (enough to squish Fenris a bit) and stayed there for long enough that Fenris knew it was a kiss. " _Goodnight._ "

" _You say that as if I won't be following you up._ " Fenris was glad Angrboða didn't hand him over just yet, in this dream-memory. He wanted to stay like this a little longer...

" _We'll all be asleep before you reach the top of the stairs._ " Fenris could hear his dad's grin. " _Promise._ "

" _You say 'promise', I hear 'take your time'._ " His mother handed him over carefully, one hand lingering to run fingers through his hair. " _Goodnight, Loki._ "

Goodnight.

Fenris remembered a glimpse out the window, of rooftops and a starry sky. The stars spiralled out around him, making everything dark and twining around his wrists and ankles-

He didn't wake up after that, strictly speaking, but he did manage to wrench himself away from the dream.

He felt cold. Freezing, even. There was a light blanket over him, but it didn't help. And his head still hurt. And there _wasn't anyone in the bed next to him._

People were speaking near him, but only a few words of English filtered through Fenris's understanding.

"What...was poison?"

"Tyr." That voice was much closer. It also belonged to his dad. Fenris went boneless in relief. His dad hadn't left.

"He...?" Fenris felt like he should recognize the other voice.

Loki murmured something Fenris couldn't hear. He strained to hear what came after it. "...my fault."

"Okay...stop you..."

"It...curse...at _me_...cast it."

Fenris lost the trail of the conversation. Curse? What curse?

"And it...him?"

"It...my name."

There was a sigh of understanding from the other person in the room.

Loki murmured something that sounded mournful, but Fenris couldn't even make out the individual words. A hand on his head startled him, but he relaxed as it stroked over his hair soothingly. It was just his dad. That was obvious - the hand felt fever-hot, but no one else there was sick.

Right?

Loki's hand moved to his forehead, lingering with the back of it pressed against him. "He's...fever."

"You can't...?"

"I've...all I can." The hand dropped away. "...don't want that...get its hooks in."

"Let me...Apollo."

"...can't make that...your own."

Fenris managed to pull himself a little closer to awareness. The half-conversation he was getting wasn't making any sense.

"...you can...me. Let one...boys watch him."

"I-"

"You know...able to help."

One of them sighed. "...get one...twins, please?"

Was Loki _leaving_?

He'd promised.

Fenris reached out, making a faint noise that scratched at his throat, and opened his eyes to try and wake up properly. Loki was there in a second, his hand much bigger than Fenris's.

"Sshhhh, Fen. _Did I wake you up_ _?_ "

" _Don't go._ " Fenris gave him a pleading look.

"Ástin mín, _I'll be back soon._ "

" _I don't want you to go._ " Fenris felt very small. What if something happened?

" _Nothing will happen._ " Loki squeezed his hand gently.

Something creaked distantly. "Dad?"

Loki let go of Fenris's hand. Fenris was immediately struck by the sensation of being lost in the middle of some place that he'd just realized was much too big to ever find his way out of.

" _Dad_ -"

" _I'll be back before you know it._ "

But Fenris knew he was leaving _now_ and he _wasn't_ there.

" _I'm cold,_ " he said, a half-desperate attempt to keep his dad there.

Loki pulled the heavy blanket up over Fenris from where it had been pushed to the side. " _Better_ _?_ " He pressed a kiss to Fenris's forehead, and it warmed him up a little. " _Try to sleep._ "

Fenris didn't want to close his eyes, but the blanket was warming him up a bit and he was still so tired, even if he hadn't noticed before, it was like it was pulling him under.

The wolves kept their distance. One of them kept vanishing just outside his line of sight, and Fenris couldn't make himself turn his head to look for it. The one who stayed paced in a circle, eyes fixed on Fenris.

Its eyes were very bright. Fenris didn't like them. The color reminded him too much of his dad, and that felt _very_ wrong, because his dad wasn't a wolf, because that would make _him_ a wolf-

He woke with a sharp gasp like he'd just surfaced from a deep ocean.

Fenris immediately wished he hadn't, because waking up apparently now meant feeling like someone was crouched over him stabbing a knife into his forehead. Several knives. And then leaving the knives there and getting more.

He groaned, turning to try and press his head into something, and there was a creak like a chair under someone who had just moved very sharply.

"Hey, _hey._ Fen?" That wasn't Loki's voice. Where had he gone? There wasn't anyone else in bed.

" _Dad_ ," Fenris croaked, before he remembered that Loki had left, and that was one too many things to deal with right now because he could feel tears itching to surface. The only reason they weren't was probably the same reason his mouth felt dry as sand.

" _He left, remember? Here-_ " A glass nudged at his mouth again, but Fenris turned away shaking his head. " _You need to drink something_."

" _I want dad,_ " Fenris said miserably. He'd said he wouldn't leave. The good feeling from a moment ago had utterly vanished. He opened his eyes and saw a scruffy red beard, which meant Narvi. Narvi could probably be persuaded with pleading looks.

" _I know, I know,_ " Narvi said, when Fenris gave him a sad look. " _He'll be back soon._ " Narvi put his head in his hands. His hair looked messy, like he hadn't had time to brush it. " _I really hope he's back soon._ "

The second part was much quieter. It didn't occur to Fenris at the time that he hadn't been meant to hear it.

" _Just try to go back to sleep,_ " Narvi said eventually. " _Will that help_?"

Fenris doubted it. The sick feeling in his stomach and the pain everywhere else agreed with him.

He closed his eyes anyway.

Fenris fell fitfully in and out of sleep, whatever wisps of dreams remained vanishing as soon as he woke up. There were usually people talking in low voices when he did, but Fenris never made out more than a few words before he fell back asleep and promptly forgot about it.

When he was jostled awake after several repetitions of this, as opposed to his dreams frightening him awake, there was the faintest orange tint to the light in the room.

Loki was leaning over him.

Fenris could have cried from relief. " _Dad._ "

" _Promised I'd come back,_ " Loki said. " _Can you sit up for me_?"

He had to help Fenris into a sitting position, but that was okay. Fenris went a little too fast and all his senses whited out in a rush, making him lightheaded.

"...most of the time _._ " He caught the end of Narvi's sentence as the feeling faded, even if he didn't understand all of it. Fenris was mostly occupied with how Loki was right there, letting Fenris lean against him. One arm was around Fenris, holding him close.

"Good _,_ " Loki said. " _Fen, you awake?_ "

Fenris nodded, blinking hard in an effort to wake up.

" _I need you to drink this, okay? It's to help you feel better._ "

Drinking something sounded good. His mouth still felt too dry. Getting rid of all the little hurts sounded even better.

Fenris nearly spat out the first sip, though. Whatever Loki had in the cup tasted strongly of herbs and bitterness and mint. Fenris didn't like peppermints - they tasted weird and _cold._ He didn't need to be any colder.

" _This will help,_ " Loki reassured him, not letting him lean away from the cup. " _Trust me._ "

Of course he did.

Reluctantly, Fenris drank.

Each swallow made him feel hotter, and all prickly inside, like something was digging claws in and poking bits that weren't meant to be poked. Fenris turned his head away when it started nearing an unbearable point. This wasn't _better._

" _You need to drink all of it._ "

" _I don't want to._ "

" _If you don't finish it you're not going to get better._ "

" _You can fix it._ "

" _This is me fixing it. Fenris,_ _please_."

The 'please' rattled him, because it sounded so desperate.

It felt like something was clawing its way out of his stomach, but Fenris drank.

* * *

He didn't throw up again, but there was more than a small chance that he might have.

Fenris could barely move on the soft bed without feeling like he was lying on something hot and very, very sharp. He hadn't thought he would _miss_ being cold, but he really did. If his dad was doing anything, it wasn't helping.

The prickly feeling didn't leave. It got progressively worse and wound its way through his whole body until Fenris wished he could just go in and pull it out with his hands, or do _something_ to get rid of it.

He dozed fitfully, never quite falling all the way asleep. The prickly feeling finished with the rest of him and ended up as a raging headache and a weird tightness in his chest, and it only ever seemed to get worse-

And then he rolled over and it didn't hurt, and he realized he didn't have a headache, and he wanted the blanket because the room was a little bit chilly.

The next thing he realized was that his dad was there, one arm draped loosely over Fenris's head. He was sitting, not lying down like Fenris was, and he looked tense with worry.

Fenris reached down to pull the blanket a little higher, and Loki startled so badly he nearly dropped whatever he was holding. Fenris glimpsed a small, round object before Loki hurriedly tucked it into his pocket and yanked the blankets up with a flourish.

Fenris sighed at the sensation of the comforter settling over him. 'Hot' was a vastly different feeling from this. This was nice.

" _Feeling better_ _?_ " Loki asked. Fenris nodded. No pain was a distinct improvement over what he'd felt like before. He was still exhausted, though, and the wrung-out-like-a-towel feeling had returned.

The tension bled out of Loki so quickly he looked like he was shrinking. Or deflating. His hand stroked Fenris's back through the blanket.

" _What happened_ _?_ " Fenris asked, because he was still pretty sure he didn't get human illnesses. Especially not human illnesses like that.

Loki was quiet for so long Fenris started to wonder if he'd spoken too quietly. But Loki did answer, eventually. " _You sound exhausted,_ " he said. " _Let's leave that story for when you've had some sleep._ "

Fenris felt like he'd been doing nothing _but_ sleeping since Loki had taken him out of Hogwarts. He was tired, though...

" _Okay,_ " he murmured, eyes slipping shut. As he fell asleep, he thought that the song Loki was humming sounded familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a little bit longer, but I moved everything after this point over to a separate chapter. I know that makes it much shorter than the last, but at least there isn't a cliffhanger :)
> 
> I mentioned Song of the Sea in the first note, so the song Loki's humming is /absolutely/ Amhrán Na Farraige in my own personal canon (does that make it canon, since I wrote this story? Probably).
> 
> Comment, please!


	14. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a bit longer of a break than I meant to take. I figured nobody would mind a late update or two.

Fenris stayed in bed for as long as he could before the sunlight shining in his face got too irritating.

He rolled over and was immediately greeted by blond hair in his face.

Fenris pushed at the person in front of him, vaguely registering that the hair was too light for it to be Loki's. " _Move._ "

"Hey," Slepnir complained.

" _Your hair's in my mouth,_ " Fenris protested. " _Where's Dad_?"

Slepnir rolled over onto his stomach, blearily turning to look at Fenris. "Uh..." He rubbed at his face. " _I think he went to your teacher to yell at her for letting you get poisoned._ "

" _Poisoned?_ " Fenris's stomach dropped (luckily not in an about-to-throw-up way). His first thought was _Tyr._ His second thought was, _What about Lysander?_ His third was that Lysander had been fine when he'd left, so probably nothing had happened.

Probably.

" _Yeah. He was really mad._ "

Loki hadn't seemed like he was, but then again he wouldn't have been mad at Fenris.

" _You're okay now, right?_ " Slepnir questioned.

" _I think so,_ " Fenris said. " _I feel better._ "

" _Good_ ," Slepnir said, _"because you're not allowed to ever get poisoned again, because no one would tell us anything and it was really scary and Jor cried because he thought you were going to die._ "

Fenris felt vaguely guilty, even though it wasn't like he'd gotten sick on purpose.

Slepnir breathed in deeply and then let it out in a huff before sitting up and turning towards the other side of the bed.

" _Where are you going?_ "

" _I promised Jor I'd tell him when you woke up._ " Slepnir paused, turning back towards Fenris. " _Are you hungry?_ _It's been a while since you got home._ "

" _How long_?"

" _Two days._ "

That was longer than he'd thought. Fenris nodded. His stomach didn't hurt, and Loki had given him that weird herbal thing, which had probably been a cure. So he wasn't sick anymore.

Slepnir left the door open when he left. Fenris was alone in the sunny bedroom for all of a minute before Scully came trotting in, jumping up onto the bed and wasting no time in curling up next to Fenris.

" _Hi._ " Fenris petted her, glad that she wasn't trying to lick his face. Scully nudged his cheek, looking at him with dark eyes. " _Did you miss me?_ "

Scully licked his face. Ew. "Scul _ly._ "

Jormungand practically knocked the bedroom door off its hinges coming in. Slamming it open wasn't even really necessary since it wasn't closed in the first place.

"Jor-" Fenris barely got through the first syllable of his name before Jor was hugging the breath out of him. If he'd been sitting up, his brother probably would have knocked him over.

"Are you okay?" Jormungand demanded.

" _There's someone's knee in my stomach, but other than that, yes,_ " Fenris said sarcastically. Jormungand hurriedly got off him, moving carefully to avoid sitting on Scully.

" _No one would_ _tell_ _us anything. I got worried,_ " he said, looking profoundly relieved. He held Scully in his lap to stop her from worming in between them. " _Slepnir says dad said it was poison._ "

Fenris vaguely remembered talk of poison, and a curse. He shrugged. " _I didn't hear much._ " He'd been pretty out of it the whole time. " _I was asleep for most of it._ "

Jormungand accepted it at face value. " _I'm glad you're okay,_ " he said, holding Scully tighter until she whined to be let go. He let her pad away to lie down by their feet.

There was a weird expression on his face, and Fenris wasn't quite sure what it meant, but Slepnir came back before he could try to decipher it.

"I made toast," Slepnir said, in English. He clambered onto the bed and held the plate over his head when Scully jumped to her feet. " _No._ Jor, can you hold her?"

Jormungand crawled down the bed to grab Scully and keep her away from the plate as Slepnir handed it over. Scully's nose followed it.

Fenris had to sit up to eat. Sitting up made him lightheaded and dizzy again, probably because he hadn't eaten anything substantial for two days, and he caught Jormungand's wide-eyed worry once he stopped seeing spots.

He took a big bite, just to prove he was okay, and then noticed something he hadn't when he was lying down. " _Your ears_!"

Jormungand's eyebrows went up, but they went back down when he smiled. " _I persuaded dad. They're little owls, see?_ "

" _He got bats for Halloween,_ " Slepnir added, as Jormungand leaned forward to show off the little gold owl earrings.

" _Why not keep the bats? It's only just been Halloween._ "

Jormungand shrugged. " _I got new ones. I like owls._ "

Slepnir interrupted with the story of how they'd gotten it done, going downtown into London which had been fun except there had been far too many people. Fenris ate the toast (he hadn't realized how hungry he'd been) and listened intently, and maybe fed a few crusts to Scully, but it wasn't like any of them _really_ minded.

That was how Loki found them, caught up in a conversation that Fenris was only technically participating in, all crowded together on the bed.

"Knock, knock." Loki tapped lightly on the doorframe. Scully barked, wriggling out of Jormungand's hold to dart over to him, twining around his feet and wagging her tail so hard it was a blur. " _Am I interrupting_?"

"Dad!" Fenris brightened, and made an effort to sit up a little more, because he'd slipped down at some point in the conversation.

" _We were talking about why there are so many birds_ ," Slepnir said. "Um, pigeons." Fenris was pretty sure he'd pronounced 'pigeons' wrong.

Loki smiled, moving around to sit on the end of the bed near Fenris's feet. " _The scourge of the town. I haven't been anywhere I haven't seen at least a few._ " He patted Fenris's feet, taking in the plate full of crumbs and the pillows he was leaning on. " _Feeling better?_ "

" _Yeah._ " He did, even if he still felt a little tired. " _Why did I get so sick?_ "

Loki's smile faded. The lines in his face seemed to be set a little deeper than they usually were. " _What do you remember?_ "

" _You came to get me from Hogwarts._ " That was clear enough, compared to later events. " _I...ate something?_ "

" _Poison,_ " Jormungand said, very quietly. Scully was back in his lap, this time not protesting Jormungand's grip.

" _Was it Tyr?_ " Fenris wasn't sure who else it could have been.

There were a lot of unsaid things in the thin line of Loki's mouth. He didn't voice any of them, though, nodding once.

" _What was he doing there?_ " Slepnir's forehead had wrinkled into puzzled lines. Jormungand appeared to still be in the process of digging Tyr out of his memory.

Fenris explained about the transfer students, how Tyr had managed to put himself in the position of their teacher. He watched his father's face while he talked, but he didn't see anything change.

" _I don't understand,_ " Slepnir said, when Fenris had finished talking. " _How did he get here? You had that confusing conversation about this being a whole different World Tree._ "

" _Someone must have figured out a way,_ " Loki said.

" _Just to get to us?_ "

There was the barest moment of hesitation, and Fenris could see how much Loki really, really wanted to lie in that moment. " _Yes,_ " he said, after a heartbeat.

" _What did he do?_ " If anyone deserved to know, Fenris was pretty sure it was him. He was the one who'd gotten poisoned, after all. " _You said mistletoe, when you came to get me._ "

" _Mistletoe?_ " Jormungand's grip on Scully relaxed slightly as he looked up.

" _It's a very long story,_ " Loki said. " _Someone died - this was a while ago, by the way - and Frigg took offense at me for it. The whole mistletoe thing is ridiculous, anyway, it wasn't even mistletoe that was originally used - but people started believing that it was, and so she cursed that, too._ "

" _Was the one who died poisoned?_ " Slepnir asked.

" _No, it wasn't poisonous until after she cursed it. And it wouldn't do that to just anybody._ " Loki smiled briefly, and humorlessly. " _She blamed me, so the curse was on my name._ "

Fenris was about to object, because _his_ name was Fenris, thank you very much, when he realized what his dad meant. " _Oh,_ " he said. " _Lokison._ "

"It really is a dangerous name to bear."

All four of them swiveled to face the door.

"Hermes?" Fenris questioned, because he was sure he didn't remember Hermes being there before.

"You eavesdropper," Loki said, but his grin had reappeared. "Come in if you're going to listen in."

"I only heard a little bit," Hermes said, but he did come in. His hair looked different, a shorter cut that got longer the closer it was to the top of his head. It wasn't surprising that his appearance had changed, even if he didn't look any older, seeing as the last time Fenris had seen him had been so long ago he couldn't name the year.

" _When did he get here?_ " Fenris asked. Slepnir shrugged unhelpfully.

"Some time ago," Hermes said, and then (to Fenris's relief) Loki interrupted him, saying " _I invited Hermes over while you were still at school, since he was looking for somewhere out of the way of his family._ "

Fenris didn't blame him for _that._ He'd only ever heard stories, but Hermes's family sounded like the kind he'd try to avoid, too. "Okay." The word turned into a yawn before he could finish it.

" _You need rest,_ " Loki said immediately. "C'mon, _all of you, out._ "

" _I'm staying,_ " Jormungand said stubbornly.

Loki didn't try to contest his decision, only glanced at Slepnir's similarly stubborn expression and then said, "Scully, c'mere."

Scully obediently jumped off the bed, trailing Loki as he threw an arm over Hermes's shoulders and pulled the other god out. The door clicked gently as it closed behind him with a flick of his fingers.

Jormungand wasted no time in burrowing under the covers next to Fenris, pulling him down so that he was no longer sitting up. They settled into their usual places, or what their usual places were without Loki in between them. Jormungand left space in between the two of them, and Slepnir let him curl up back-to-back.

There was a moment of quiet, after they all stopped rustling the blankets around.

"Fen," Jormungand said, into the quiet, " _I just - I know you don't like people touching you usually but - you did just..._ "

He trailed off without finishing.

Fenris was pretty sure he knew what Jormungand meant.

"Okay," he said, and rolled over, pulling Jormungand's arm over his chest loosely. He could still move his arm (the one that wasn't under his head, anyway) and the blanket wasn't so heavy as to keep him from kicking around if he wanted to.

Besides, sometimes having other people in the bed but not touching him felt lonelier than just being alone in a bed.

Jormungand's arm clenched briefly around him, and then he found Fenris's hand and held it tight, and he seemed to relax a little.

" _He's fine now,_" Slepnir said, already sounding muzzy and half-asleep, but a hand that wasn't Jormungand's patted at Fenris's shoulder.

This was mostly what Fenris had missed, staying at Hogwarts all year 'round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!
> 
> If you were curious, I have a couple song headcanons.   
> Dear Theodosia (Hamilton the Musical): If there was ever a song that could sum up Loki's attitude towards the kids perfectly, I'm pretty sure I found it.
> 
> Like the Dawn (The Oh Hellos) and Gimme that Swing! (Cissie Redgwick) are two of my favorites for Angrboða and Sigyn, respectively, but I've always thought that if the moods of the songs were switched then it would suit each woman much better. Sigyn's really the more sedate and quieter of the two (however mad she got at Loki). But it would probably be too much to ask to find /three/ perfect songs.


	15. Not-So-Distant Relations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update! It was pointed out to me (and probably shouldn't have needed to be pointed out) that my midnight venting had some not-okay bits and so I'm replacing my message earlier than originally planned.
> 
> I'm still upset at the lack of reviews, but I don't want to guilt-trip anybody into leaving them, and I didn't mean to stress anybody out because it felt like I was accusing you, which of course doesn't excuse that happening. So I'll continue as planned, with this chapter replacing Friday's update and the planned hiatus going ahead as scheduled. I think maybe everybody could use a break.
> 
> So aside from news, I have a couple other song headcanons that didn't make it into the ch.14's author's note. 'Helpless' (Hamilton the Musical) for Loki and Sigyn, and one I've had in mind for a while, 'Téir Abhaile Ríu' (Celtic Woman) for how Loki and Angrboða met, and I didn't realize until I typed them both out just now that they were both about relationships.
> 
> Tbh, Téir isn't perfect for Angrboða's character, but whatever, it's a sweet song. Even if I sort of think 'Walpurgisnacht' (Faun) would be closer to what was actually playing.

Quiet voices roused Fenris, but they abruptly shut up as soon as he turned over.

"Shit. Sorry," Vali said. "Didn't mean to wake you up." He and Narvi both looked contrite, Narvi shuffling indecisively like he was about to leave.

"It's okay," Fenris yawned, rubbed his eyes, and then looked at Vali again, more closely. "...When did you get here?"

"Last night. Little after you got back. Dad called us back to be an extra set of eyes."

That would explain why he didn't remember them arriving. Fenris felt Jormungand stir behind him, and a huff of breath on his head. "Were you here last night?" He vaguely remembered talking to one of the twins. "Or...was Narvi?"

"You remember that? It was me, yeah," Narvi said. "I kept an eye on you while dad went and got that cure."

Vali stretched his arms behind him, tipping the chair back on two legs and hooking his foot around the bedpost. "You sent everyone into a kind of panic. Don't apologize," he added, somehow noticing when Fenris stiffened. "It's not like you could help it."

Fenris nodded wordlessly, wriggling a little closer to Jormungand. "Where's dad?"

"Downstairs. Talking with Hermes, I think."

Narvi made a noise under his breath that gave Fenris an idea of what he thought of Hermes, which was not entirely complimentary. Vali gave him a sharp look. "Don't start."

"I know," Narvi said, long-suffering and with an accompanying eye roll. "Dad trusts him."

"Hermes's alright," Fenris said, gaining startled looks from both of the twins. He sat up, scooting back to lean against the headboard.

"You know him?" Vali questioned.

"Yeah. I was born in Greece. We stayed there as long as I can remember." Which didn't mean much, really, but at least they already knew that.

Vali and Narvi traded another significant look. "Huh," was all Narvi said. "Just in Greece, or _with_ him?"

Fenris paused, and then shrugged. "He came over a lot. But it was our house." His mom had liked Hermes, he remembered.

"What are we talking about," Jormungand mumbled sleepily.

"Morning," Narvi said. "Or afternoon, more like. How're you feeling today?"

Jormungand took a moment to consider that. "She," she decided, putting her head back down. "I think. Ask me later." She stretched out her whole body, almost hitting Fenris in the face with one hand. "What time is it?"

"About time for you guys to finally get up," Narvi teased. He leaned forward, yanking the blanket down in one sharp movement.

"Hey!" Fenris and Jormungand shouted simultaneously, making Slepnir groan in complaint.

"I was _sleeping,_ " he whined, rolling over and pushing his hair out of his face. "What's so important to wake up for?"

Before either of the twins could answer, the doorbell rang.

All five of them stared at each other for a moment, silently asking if everyone else had heard it as well. It was definitely the doorbell, albeit muffled through the floor and the distance separating the bedroom and the front door. Fenris recognized it only because he'd once spent ages pressing it just to hear it ring, in an attempt to figure out how it worked.

But no one _actually_ rang the doorbell in an attempt to enter the house. If they could get past the wards, they just walked in, because only anyone who lived here could get past the wards without permission.

Narvi was frowning. "Who the hell would ring the doorbell?"

"No idea," Vali said. "Everyone's here but Adam, and his school isn't out yet."

They all looked at each other and silently came to a decision.

It took about a minute for them all to crowd around the top of the stairs, which was universally (or at least widely) known as the best eavesdropping spot in the house, especially if someone was talking in the kitchen or the big open foyer.

"What are you _doing_ here?" Loki's voice grew louder, a sign that he was getting closer. "How did you even know I was here? I haven't-"

"Oh, I thought you'd long ago stopped being surprised by me." The woman's voice was unfamiliar, to Fenris at least. He glanced at the twins, but they looked just as confused as he felt.

Well. Vali looked confused. Narvi was listening intently, although the beard usually made him look more serious.

"Surprised at you being able to find a warded house and get past the gate, knowing I was here? Yeah, a little," Loki said flatly. He didn't seem alarmed, though, so whoever else was downstairs must have been a sort-of friend.

"I talked to your daughter, if you must know."

"Hel?"

"Yes, she's very sweet, I can't believe you've never introduced me." There was a muffled thump and a slight screech of wood on wood, like someone falling carelessly into a chair. "I didn't even know I _had_ a granddaughter."

Slepnir inhaled sharply. "Oh. _Laufey_ ," he said, with an air of dawning revelation.

"Who's Laufey?" Fenris hissed, over Loki's exasperated reply.

"Dad's mom," Slepnir explained, in true Slepnir fashion; aka, as concise as possible.

"Seriously?" Narvi questioned, his breath a warm puff against the back of Fenris's head.

"Well, he came from _somewhere._ "

"I never knew Laufey. He might as well have poofed out of nowhere as far as _we_ knew-" Vali began.

"Shhhhh," Jormungand whispered urgently, and they all fell quiet in time to hear Hermes talk.

"Have you seen my - what are you doing here?" He didn't even pause. It sounded like one (confusing) sentence.

"What's Hermes doing here?" Laufey asked.

"It's my house, I can invite who I like. I did _not_ invite you. I didn't think-"

"You didn't think I'd like to see them?" Laufey interrupted. "Honestly, Loki, we're still _related._ "

"Yes, you make that very clear by visiting once every three centuries. Why did you come?"

"Oh, don't pretend this arrangement doesn't suit you just as well." Amusement was clear in Laufey's voice. Fenris was taken aback by how similar she and Loki sounded. It was a little disconcerting, especially coupled with the discovery of a relative he hadn't known existed. "I was content to let you settle back down when you first got them back, but recent events have spurred me to come by a little sooner."

"Recent events, huh."

"I wasn't aware the news had already spread." Hermes spoke so rapidly Fenris barely caught every other word. At least they weren't speaking Greek. Fenris knew that language pretty fluently, but Hermes was impossible to understand half the time in his native language. To anyone but Loki, at least.

"News of what?" Fenris could picture Laufey leaning forward in interest. What did she look like? Like Loki?

"Nothing important," Loki said shortly. Obviously lying, which was kind of weird. "Things have happened before this. Is that what you meant?"

"What, Asgard stirring? I noticed it." There was a pause. Fenris really wished he could see what was going on downstairs, but he didn't dare peek over the railing.

"You didn't come because you were worried."

"No." Another pause. "What?"

"I'll talk about this in a minute. But first," Loki said, much louder, "I think the little eavesdroppers at the top of the stairs should go and amuse themselves somewhere else."

"Damnit," Vali said, after a short pause in which they all looked at each other and tried to mentally communicate the same sentiments.

"I _told_ you to be quiet," Jormungand said petulantly, over the noise of someone laughing downstairs. It was probably Laufey, because if a laugh could sound very feminine, hers did, a bit.

They straggled away from the stairs reluctantly, gathering in one of the only non-bedrooms on the second floor.

"How come I've never heard of Laufey?" Fenris demanded, before the door even closed.

"She almost never comes around," Slepnir said. "I've only met her a few times. Dad doesn't really talk about her, but I don't think it's because they don't get along. They're just distant."

"Don't be offended," Vali said. "I've never heard of her, either. Is she _his_ mother, or Odin's?"

"His," Slepnir said, the implied _obviously_ apparent after it. "I think she stays in Jotunheim, mostly."

"You've been?" Jormungand's eyebrows shot up.

"Once or twice," Slepnir admitted. "Have you ever? I can't remember. I know Laufey visited once after you were born."

Jormungand's mouth twisted, brow furrowing. "I _sort_ of remember that." She hesitated, then said, "Just once?"

Slepnir shrugged, half apologetically. "They get along, but...they don't, at the same time. Does that make sense?"

"They tolerate each other?" Narvi supplied.

"That's what it seemed like, anyway. I've only met her a few times. Hardly more than any of you." Slepnir fiddled with the hem of his shirt, worrying at loose threads.

Vali dropped into a chair by the window. "Eh, we'll get called downstairs eventually. Since she apparently came here because of us." His tone was dry as a desert.

"You don't believe her," Jormungand said quietly, not asking a question.

"I haven't even seen this lady yet." Vali flashed a false grin at them. "Maybe it's inherited skepticism from dad's side."

"I dunno," Narvi said idly. "Mom can be pretty paranoid about some stuff."

"Like what?" Fenris asked.

"Like stuff." Narvi dodged the topic effectively, but without much grace, and then changed it. "So Laufey didn't know about you getting poisoned, but things are stirring up enough that she came by. But not out of worry, apparently. What do you think?"

"If she's dad's mother? I think she just wants to know what's going on." Vali crossed his legs, propping his head on one hand. "What he's up to and all that."

"Aw," Jormungand complained. "We could have actually found something out."

"He _knows_ the top of the stairs is the best place to listen in," Slepnir pointed out. "He probably guessed we noticed something was happening."

"What 'things' are stirring up?" Fenris cut into the conversation.

Narvi looked at Vali, who shrugged. "Don't look at me. I've been with you. You'd know if I knew anything."

"Do you?" Slepnir asked hopefully. "Anything about what's going on?"

"Man," Narvi sighed. "No, not really. I wish dad wasn't so insistent about keeping everyone in the dark, but mom's not much better, really. And I doubt she knows as much as him. She's pretty insistent that we stay out of this."

"'Not really' means you know _something._ " Jormungand picked up on the loophole.

"All that information's centuries out of date," Vali replied. He was very pointedly looking out the window. "And it's not about a situation like this."

Jormungand was giving him a narrow look, but she didn't press it, just kept staring like she thought she could get Vali to turn around just by looking hard enough.

"I wonder how Laufey got past the wards," Narvi said. "Could be she's close enough to Loki to fool them?"

"No," Slepnir said, "dad wouldn't leave any kind of loophole."

"Stop changing the topic," Fenris said irritably. "If you don't know anything about _now,_ then what do you _think_ is happening?"

For a split second, Narvi looked exactly like Loki, the same reluctance to share information sitting on his face. Then it changed to a sort of wary - or weary - determination. "I don't know," Narvi said. "But I think they might be trying to repeat what happened last time."

"What last time?" Slepnir questioned. "No one's ever tried to poison one of us before. We - oh." Realization cut his confusion to shreds, and then was replaced with something that wasn't quite horror. " _Oh._ "

"Great job," Vali hissed. Jormungand had already been sitting down, but she'd brought her knees to her chest and curled into a tight ball. Narvi was already moving over to sit next to her. Fenris sat down, too, because some part of him registered that he probably should.

"You mean," he said. "They want to do. What they did before."

Narvi looked deeply regretful, but he kept talking even as he wrapped an arm around Jormungand. "I'm _not_ saying it'll work. But you guys deserve to know _something_ if you're going to be at the center of all this."

Vali's expression screamed reluctance, but he didn't try to interrupt, just crossed his arms.

"And hey," Narvi added, somewhat desperately, "no one's going to get into this house unless dad lets 'em, right?"

"Laufey did," Jormungand said, breathing hitching halfway through. "Just a minute ago."

"No one in Asgard is even remotely close to Laufey," Narvi said. "And she's his mom, so it's not that much of a surprise that she'd be able to get through, right?" He glanced at Fenris, worry set in the wrinkle of his brow.

Fenris nodded shallowly, agreeing even if the sentiment didn't make him feel that much better. "Why poison me?" Why attempt murder (and now that he's actually calling it that, it sends a shiver through his body) if they were trying to recast whatever spells they'd put on him last time?

"I don't know," Narvi admitted.

"They left us alone until now." Slepnir wasn't on the floor like the rest of them, but he was curled up very tightly in a chair. Someone who didn't know any of them very well might have said it was because the chair wasn't really large enough to accommodate his whole body. "That didn't have to change."

Vali was watching him with some unidentifiable emotion in his eyes. "It was going to eventually," he said. "They hate dad. We were never going to stop being tangled up with whatever grudge they had with him."

"It's stupid," Jormungand said wetly.

"Yeah, well, dad can be kind of an asshole."

" _Vali_ _!_ " Narvi snapped. Slepnir's head whipped around and he stared at Vali. Jormungand raised her head to look at him incredulously. Fenris felt like he'd been shocked, like all those times he'd touched something and static had stung his fingers.

"Not all the time, maybe, but he did _something_ to make them so mad!" Vali retorted.

"Centuries ago," Slepnir said crossly. "They can fuck off and get _over_ it. Dad didn't to anything to _Tyr_ and he _still_ did what he did to Fenris."

"Okay, no arguing!" Narvi raised his free hand in a _stop it_ motion. "We're not going to argue with each other, however uncalled-for that was." He ignored Vali's dark frown. "This situation's already shitty and we're not gonna make it worse. Okay?"

Slepnir nodded slowly. Fenris didn't reply, because he didn't feel like talking and Vali wasn't nodding either.

"What _do_ we do?" Jormungand's voice was quiet.

" _You_ guys concentrate on staying safe-"

"That's not fair," Fenris interrupted him. "If it's about _us-_ "

"Then you stay out of it as much as possible so they can't get at you," Vali cut in.

"What about you two?" Slepnir demanded. "You're out there! I'm older than you are-"

"And with a lot less practical experience," Narvi pointed out. "And we're _not_ 'out there'. Mom would have a fit if she even _thought_ we were. You three aren't the only Lokisons Asgard is interested in."

"Why are they so interested in us in the _first_ place?" Fenris demanded.

"If I knew, I would've told you."

Narvi had never lied to them, as far as Fenris knew. That didn't mean he liked the explanation he was offered. He stared at the floor resentfully, wishing he knew someone who would actually give him all the answers he wanted.

"We could take a look at what people wrote down."

Slepnir looked at Vali blankly. "What?"

"About us," Vali prompted. "You know, myths and stuff."

Narvi scoffed. "That? 'Wrong' doesn't begin to cover it-"

"They couldn't've gotten _everything_ wrong," Vali said before his twin could finish. "Some stuff, yeah, but gods used to be pretty hands-on. Some of it has to be at least _close_ to the truth."

They all glanced at each other, gauging reactions to this suggestion.

"Where would we get anything like that?" Narvi asked. "It's not in the house, for sure, and I don't know of any libraries or anything nearby. And it's doubtful a public library would have it anyway."

"Fen can look at Hogwarts," Jormungand said.

Fenris resisted the urge to squirm under the sudden attention from the other four. "Maybe," he said guardedly. "I don't think there are _myths-_ "

"What else would there be?" Slepnir raised his eyebrows.

"Lillian had a book, but it wasn't...I don't _think_ it was. She was looking for myths and she never checked it out to read, so I thought - it might not be the right kind of book."

"We don't have to figure this all out now," Narvi said, probably meaning it to be reassuring. "But take a look anyway?"

"...Yeah. I can."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please. Hope you liked Laufey.


	16. Laufey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm ahead of schedule!
> 
> The hiatus was originally going to go until August, I know, but consider this: I just got my wisdom teeth out and my face hurts and I figured nice comments would distract me from that (things they do not tell you: eating and drinking is really hard when you can't feel your tongue. Or anything else in your mouth).
> 
> (BTW, you know how I recommended Dear Theodisia? Absolutely do not listen to 'It's Quiet Uptown' with Gabriel in mind. Don't do it. You'll regret it. I'm crying.)
> 
> (I'm joking, I'm listening to Newsies. But it did make me cry when I did listen to it. A little.)
> 
> I was looking forward to getting around to properly writing Laufey, but this chapter might take a while to get up just because I haven't been feeling particularly motivated. I've been leaving this open like I usually do, but man is this chapter dragging its heels.
> 
> Also I mention height at one point in this chapter. I use feet/inches for it, because I am American and writing "_ meters tall" just sounds weird, you crazy Europeans. So yeah, that was on purpose. Whatever. 'Murica.

The conversation straggled on awkwardly after the heavier subject matter was past, to the point where Fenris was _really_ glad when Loki interrupted them.

"Hey," he said simply. "I made lunch." His eyes lingered on Fenris a little longer. "You look like you're feeling better."

Fenris nodded, even if he did still feel a little shaky, but that might be for the same reason his stomach was growling at him.

"What did you make?" Slepnir asked.

"Grilled cheese. That good?"

" _Yes,_ " Jormungand said fervently. A smile pulled at Loki's mouth, making his face a little softer than it had been.

"Well, no need to stand on ceremony. C'mon down."

* * *

Fenris had thought Laufey might have left, but the woman who looked like she'd made herself at home at the table couldn't have been anyone else.

She didn't look nearly old enough to be a grandmother (however relative appearances could be to actual age when it came to Jötuns) and, to Fenris, didn't look much like Loki at all. Her hair was too pale and her eyes too brightly blue for any similarity to be obvious.

Most of Fenris's attention, though, was on the plate of sandwiches.

Laufey seemed amused by how he snatched one off the plate so quickly. "One would think you didn't feed them," she said teasingly, in a way that was a little too familiar to match the stiff way Loki was leaning against the back of Jormungand's chair.

"I'll have you know I feed and water them daily."

"I can't tell if that's a metaphor or not," Slepnir said, spraying crumbs through his mouthful.

Loki ducked his head, smiling, in a way that meant _my kids are so cute_ (probably. Fenris couldn't read minds. Yet.). "I could always go get the squirt guns-"

"Let's not do that inside again," Narvi said quickly.

"Again?" Laufey's eyebrows rose. " _That_ sounds like a good story."

There was the briefest of pauses before Loki spoke. "Later, maybe." He moved, leaning properly against the back of the chair instead of just holding it with his hands and leaning forward a little. "They're only quiet when they're eating, I like to enjoy these little respites."

"Hey," Jormungand said, sounding deeply insulted, and Loki cracked a grin, looking down at her.

"Maybe not _you,_ but your brothers are noisy enough for ten people."

"Not _all_ the time." Slepnir had managed to finish half his sandwich already. He was giving Laufey a thoughtful look, pausing instead of starting on the other half.

Laufey waved back in a way that was really just her wiggling her fingers. "Surprised to see me?"

"No," Slepnir said, "just curious why."

"Business with your dad, is all," Laufey said, in the exact same airy tone that Loki used when he wanted them to think something wasn't as serious as it looked, even when it was. _Especially_ when it was. "Besides, who was I to pass up a chance at seeing you guys? If I'd put it off any longer I'd have come by and found you all as tall as he is. Maybe taller," she added, giving Slepnir a calculating look.

"I'm only a little over five feet," Slepnir said.

"It's a rule that I'm the tallest person in this house," Loki added.

"I'll buy 'em stilts," Vali said. "Fenris could use the boost."

"I'm not _short,_ " Fenris said, scandalized.

"You're a perfectly reasonable height," Loki assured him. "So am I, as a matter of fact, but the average height for humans just keeps going up."

"What he means," Hermes said, abruptly in the doorway next to Vali without seeming to actually move to get there (and making Vali jump a foot off the ground) "is that technically you're getting smaller."

" _What,_ " Fenris said, appalled, and Laufey grinned widely behind her folded hands.

Hermes didn't look up from his phone as he continued speaking. "If I could borrow you for a moment, Loki, while you're not busy?"

"Sure," Loki said, straightening. He moved a little faster than was strictly necessary over to Hermes, belying his mild tone, and let himself be pulled into the hallway while Hermes kept tapping away at his phone.

Fenris immediately took another sandwich to give himself an excuse not to talk.

Laufey appraised the five of them like she was deciding who to go after first, hands folded flat just under her chin. Several uncomfortable moments passed where no one was willing to be the first one to talk.

"So I don't think we've met," Narvi began eventually.

"We have," Laufey said idly, "When you were very small. I doubt you'd remember." She smirked at his startled expression. It threw her resemblance to Loki into a sudden, striking light. Fenris frowned at her until he realized he was doing it and then hurriedly looked the other way.

Vali looked askance at her, and then pointedly at Narvi in a way that probably meant something like; _This lady was around us when we were babies and I'm not sure how I feel about that._

"Don't be like that, I was invited!" Laufey leaned back in her chair. "I have to say, though, I can't tell whether that shade of red is from your mother or Loki."

Narvi scratched at his beard self-consciously, as if he'd suddenly been reminded that he had it. "Dad's not much of a _redhead,_ " he said.

"Not any _more_ ," Slepnir said. "He used to be. Don't you remember?"

"No," Vali scoffed. "What, did he magically change his hair color?"

Slepnir shrugged halfheartedly. "You could ask."

Vali muttered something that sounded vaguely like _as if he'd answer_ , which made Laufey's smirk curl and widen.

"I'll just leave you to your conversation," she said casually, sliding out of her chair. "Got a few things I'd like to talk to your dad about." She rubbed the top of Slepnir's head as she passed - hard, judging by his face. "Have fun, kids."

"Well," Narvi said, as soon as Laufey had left and had had a reasonable amount of time to get far away enough to not overhear whatever they might say. "That was. Something."

"Did dad _actually_ have red hair or is everyone fucking with me?" Vali demanded.

"He _did,_ " Jormungand said. "I dunno what happened."

"Maybe he dyed it," Fenris suggested. That was a thing, wasn't it?

"I don't think he'd need dye." Slepnir shook his head. "He could just..." He snapped his fingers demonstratively. "Like that."

"I want to know what they've gone off for a private conversation for," Narvi said, glancing over his shoulder. "I swear, if I thought it'd work I'd just ask him why he bothers trying to keep all this secret."

"We literally just had this conversation," Vali reminded him.

"I _know,_ I was _there._ " Narvi listened intently for a few moments, the back of his head all that Fenris could see. "I can't hear anything."

"Well , obviously."

Jormungand tugged on Fenris's sleeve, drawing his attention away from the twins. "What do you think Laufey wants?" She asked.

Fenris thought about it for a moment, because he was really tired of answering these kinds of questions with 'I don't know' all the time. "It has to be something to do with Asgard," he said. "Maybe she noticed whatever they noticed that made them do...this stuff."

Jormungand immediately looked away, down at her knees and playing with the hem of Fenris's sleeve. "I don't like it," she said. "Too much is happening."

"Yeah." 'Yeah' was a simple word. Fenris liked it. And his dad said it made them sound less formal when they talked in English. Fenris glanced at the door, but nothing seemed to have changed.

"Do you think..." Jormungand made a face. " _Is she trustworthy?_ "

There weren't many 'she's' Jormungand could have been talking about. Fenris shook his head.

Jormungand nodded, either agreeing or confirming what she'd expected him to say.

" _I don't like any of this,_ " Fenris admitted. He thought he might have started getting mad about it - all the stuff he knew he wasn't being told - except there was still exhaustion lingering in him, and could you be too tired to yell when you'd just woken up from sleeping for ages and had lunch?

Jormungand nodded again, and Fenris thought he knew what she meant.

* * *

"The conversation is _over_!"

Fenris froze when he heard Loki raise his voice. He hadn't heard his dad properly angry in _ages_ \- and that hadn't even been at them.

"Jotunheim would be safer!" That was Laufey. Was he shouting at _her_? What had Laufey said?

"I'm not sending them away!"

Jormungand grabbed at Slepnir, holding his sleeve tightly, eyes wide. He covered her hand with his, but leaned a little further towards the noise. Vali had stood up, maybe to move back towards the door, but seemed frozen in place.

"If you'd _listen-_ "

"You've made your point, don't oversell it. _No._ " Loki sounded so venomous Fenris was surprised Laufey kept shouting back. "It was nice to see you. Close the gate on your way out."

Someone, probably Laufey, made a loud, irritated noise that was too exaggerated to be just a huff of breath. "You can't keep them behind wards forever!"

"I'm keeping them safe, good _night,_ see you later." There was a harsh edge to Loki's voice. It was like he was trying to verbally push her out the door - or maybe that was exactly what he was doing.

"And how often do they leave?" Laufey challenged him.

"For Chaos's sake." That was Hermes, fast and exasperated, cutting into the middle of the conversation. "What are you trying to imply?"

"I'm just saying-"

"Fenris goes to his school-"

"That school's as heavily warded as this house, from what _you've_ said!"

"And Tyr _still_ got in!" Loki shouted. Fenris slipped out of his seat, meaning to take refuge with Slepnir. He just didn't want to sit alone. He wasn't _scared._

"What do you think's going to happen? You'd rather terrify them into thinking there are Æsir around every corner?" Laufey sounded so mockingly familiar that for a moment Fenris didn't realize that it was her and not Loki speaking.

"You're exaggerating." Loki's flat, cold tone was worse than him yelling.

"Maybe I just don't want things to crash and burn like _last_ time."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Loki snapped.

"That if this is history repeating itself, _he_ is not going to be enough to put you back together-"

"That's _enough_!" _Hermes_ shouting made Fenris flinch, because he'd never heard the other god raise his voice, _ever._ "I think you've just about overstayed your welcome."

The door slammed shut with a bang that Fenris could feel from where he was sitting.

"Loki-"

" _What?_ "

"...Look, she shouldn't have brought it up, but she's worried-"

Loki laughed dryly without sounding the least bit amused. "Right. I'm going upstairs."

"You're not a bad parent for trying to keep them safe. Laufey doesn't - don't walk away from me when I'm trying to _talk_ to y-" Hermes broke off mid-word with an aggravated sigh. Loki stalked past the doorway too quickly for Fenris to see anything but the rigid, too-tense line his body made.

Hermes was occupying the doorway almost as soon as it was empty. His eyes flicked over the room, taking in Vali midstride, Narvi poised to follow, Jormungand attached to Slepnir with both hands and Fenris in the middle of creeping closer to them.

He sighed. Deeply.

"I'm not going to pretend that didn't happen," he said, "but for whatever higher being's sake, _don't_ bring it up with him. Please."

Vali said nothing, just glanced back at Narvi. Narvi sank back into his chair slowly, briefly glancing over at the three of them, and nodded.

Vali made a noise under his breath and shoved past Hermes, going in the same direction Loki had gone - probably because his room was upstairs, too.

Hermes looked, somewhat helplessly, at Slepnir. "Do you...what do you normally do?"

"It's okay," Slepnir said. "You can go after him."

Fenris stared, but that must have been what Hermes wanted to hear, because after a moment of looking equally surprised he backed away and went towards the stairs as well.

Slepnir got to his feet, pulling Jormungand with him. "C'mon," he said. "Let's play a game or something. And no cheating just to make it interesting."

Fenris didn't think even Clue would be enough to distract them from what had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please before I take my pain meds and zone out again.


	17. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I planned to wait until the planned end of the hiatus to post another chapter, but vacation plans mean I'll be in Canada on Friday and probably driving most of the day - so, earlier update! I suppose this is the official end of the hiatus, so after this update expect a return to the normal schedule.
> 
> My writing camp's over, so except for a week or so in Canada (and my summer homework...) I have nothing else to do except frequent the small French bakery that opened near my neighborhood that makes good croissants :)
> 
> As for the story itself...ooooohhhhhho boy. I have so much in store with Loki, that little scene was just a glimpse. But to be honest, I don't really know what I'm doing. That conversation was one of my writerly landmarks and I'm not sure where the next one will fit in, if I end up including it at all.
> 
> But hey, I winged the Accidental Vessel pretty much the entire way through and that turned out pretty well, so I think we're good.

Laufey wasn't the only visitor they had.

When the doorbell rang for the _second_ time that day, all three of them looked up from their tenth vicious round of Uno simultaneously.

"I'll get it," Slepnir said. He moved to put his cards down and then stopped, gave the two of them suspicious looks, and then took them with him.

"Damn," Jormungand said. "I wanted to see if he had any skips."

"He does," Fenris said, not looking at the one in his hand. "We've already used all of them except one."

Jormungand narrowed her eyes at him. "You're _counting._ "

"So are _you._ "

" _Dad_!" Slepnir hollered from the hallway, coming back into sight. "Someone's here to see you!" Sure enough, Hermione was just behind him, hair even more all-over-the-place than Jormungand's and with a bag tucked under her arm.

Slepnir stared down the hall with a frown at the continued silence. "He might not have heard."

"That's alright," Hermione said. "Technically I'm here on official business, anyway." She walked purposefully into the living room. Fenris stood up, ignoring Jormungand's outraged gasp when he dropped his cards, because Hermione was very tall and she was wearing _heels._

"What official business?" He asked.

"Hogwarts doesn't tolerate students coming under fire," Hermione told him. "Nor does the Ministry of Magic, which I happen to work for."

"They want to know what happened," Slepnir hazarded a guess, tossing his cards into the now-forgotten pile.

"Knowing your dad-" Hermione tilted her head towards the door. "-whatever happened isn't repeatable to everyday wizards. I volunteered to come by in case someone needed to make something up."

Sometimes Fenris could really see why Hermione was his dad's friend.

"Who's at the door?" Hermes shouted down distantly from the stairs.

"It's Hermione!" Slepnir yelled back, making Hermione wince from the volume.

"Maybe we could go up to him," she suggested.

"He'll probably be here soon," Slepnir disagreed.

"Someone will be, at any rate," Hermes said, abruptly occupying the space in the doorway and making Hermione jump. "You're Loki's friend, then? Didn't catch your name."

"...Yes, I am." Hermione said, after a moment. "It's Hermione."

Hermes' eyebrows went up, and then he laughed. "Really?"

"What's so funny?"

Hermes extended his hand. "I'm Hermes."

" _Oh_ ," Hermione said, catching on, and snorted as she shook his hand. "I see. Nice to meet you."

"I don't get it," Fenris said.

"Hermione is like the ladies' version of Hermes," Slepnir explained.

"In the simplest terms," Hermes said, sounding amused, and then turned his attention back to Hermione. "Now that we've been introduced, what are you here for?"

"Technically Ministry business," she explained again. "Because of the, er, incident with Fenris."

"Ah." Hermes nodded knowingly, regarding Hermione carefully. "You work for this Ministry?"

"I do, which is lucky for your dad, otherwise he might actually have to tell them things." Hermione rolled her eyes. She must have said something right, because Hermes did a (purposefully?) poor job of concealing his laugh and relaxed.

"Well, Loki stepped out, so I'll have to substitute if you're looking to interrogate these guys."

"He did?" Jormungand looked up at Hermes sharply. "Where?"

"Oh, you know..." Hermes made a few vague hand gestures. "He'll be back, don't worry. He wouldn't go anywhere if he thought something else was going to happen."

Given the conversation they'd overheard with Laufey, Fenris didn't think that was true at all. Hermione seemed to accept the explanation, and turned to Fenris. "Well, as long as someone more adult is here, we could probably get official business done with pretty quickly. You don't mind me asking you questions?"

"If it's for the official report," Fenris said, "no, as long as you don't mind if I lie."

"Is it a lie if you just don't say everything?" Slepnir wondered.

"Yes," Hermes said. "That's called lying by omission."

"English has too many long words."

Hermione's mouth pinched like she was trying not to smile. She gestured to the couch. "After you?"

"It's my house," Fenris said, but he sat down. Hermione put her purse down as she copied him, withdrawing her wand from an inside pocket and flicking it. The purse unzipped itself, and a long roll of parchment and a pen pulled themselves out and settled onto her lap.

"I thought wizards used quills," Jormungand said, leaning over the back of the sofa to look.

"Normally, yes, but being Muggleborn I've always found regular pens more convenient." Hermione uncapped the pen, sticking the cap on the other end. "If I use a fountain pen there's really not much of a difference." She looked expectantly at Fenris. "Ready?"

Fenris nodded.

"Alright. What happened?"

"The wizard-acceptable version," Slepnir added. Hermione huffed a quiet laugh, but didn't contradict him. She set her pen down at the top of the page, and it stood at attention.

Fenris breathed in slowly. "I guess at dinner," he said. The pen sprang into motion, scribbling down words onto the magically supported parchment. "But I didn't realize until later."

"That was when you started getting sick?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah."

The story was surprisingly short, with all his thoughts omitted from it and the fact that Loki had magically transported him out of the castle (which according to wizards was impossible) conveniently left off the end. That night had seemed much longer to Fenris, but he'd already figured that the curse attached to the mistletoe had messed with his senses.

"So what really caused it?" Hermione asked, packing away the parchment and pen. "I would assume gods don't get the same diseases regular humans do."

"Poison."

"...Oh." Hermione glanced at Hermes, as if not entirely sure whether Fenris was joking or not. "I - that's unfortunate."

Fenris didn't think unfortunate was the right word, but who was he to talk? "I'm okay."

"That's good," Hermione said, seemingly automatically. She didn't seem to know how to continue, staring at Fenris with faint incredulity. "How in Merlin's name...?"

"Long story," Hermes said breezily. "I'm sure you can talk to Loki about it, when he gets back."

"Are you inviting me to stay?"

"I probably shouldn't, this isn't my house." Hermes shrugged. "But I doubt Loki would object." He looked over at Slepnir. "What do you think?"

Slepnir straightened. "He wouldn't," he said. "You can stay if you like." But it was clear he was only offering out of politeness. Clear to Fenris, at least.

Hermione considered it for a moment, fingers tapping on her knee. "I'll have to refuse, this time. I promised Fleur I'd try and get home early." She rose, casting a glance at Slepnir. "Mind letting him know I stopped by?"

"No, I'll tell him."

Hermes waited until he'd heard the door shut to ask, "Okay, who was that really?"

"Dad's friend," Slepnir said.

"Human?" Hermes' expression made Fenris think he was just asking to be sure. When Jormungand nodded, he snorted. "Oh, boy."

"Oh boy what?" Fenris questioned. _They'd_ had human friends before. It wasn't illegal or anything.

"Nothing you need to worry about." Hermes glanced at his phone, which had somehow made its way to his hand without Fenris seeing. "It's late, and I doubt Loki would appreciate you staying up to wait for him."

"It's not that late," Slepnir muttered.

"Finish your game, then." Hermes sat down, stretching his legs out in front of him. "And let's hope we're not interrupted further tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please! Bit of a filler chapter, I know, but Stuff will be happening soon enough.


	18. Downtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, so I completely forgot to update yesterday, whoops! Anyway, as of today (...yesterday) regular updates will resume. We _might_ catch up to the end of what I've written before school starts for me (as of right now, chapter 29 is in progress) so updates will probably slow dramatically to a whenever-I-finish-them rate.
> 
> But until then, regular updates! There's some drama this chapter, hope you like it :)

Fenris woke up with a start.

It took him a moment to place what had startled him - not a nightmare, for once, just voices nearby. Slepnir was plastered against his back, both of them in the middle of the nest of blankets they'd made in the small space the L-shaped sofa provided. Jormungand was on the sofa, sniffling in his sleep and hair everywhere.

He could hear the _click-click-click_ of Scully's nails on the floor, but she didn't try to worm her way under the blankets, which meant she was trailing someone around. Was dad home?

Fenris sat up. The sofa blocked his view, but not his ears.

"I didn't mean anything by it." Hermes sounded weirdly defensive.

There was an answering snort. "Could've fooled me," Loki said darkly.

"Oh, stop it. You've had your time to go and sulk." Hermes retorted. "I'm not going to argue with you."

"Really? You're gonna go with sulking?"

"Not fighting you."

Scully whined, claws tip-tapping like she was dancing agitatedly back and forth the way she did when she thought she was being ignored.

" _Stop_ it, Scully." Loki's voice was sharp, too sharp, and he must have noticed it too because he faltered before he finished saying Scully's name.

Fenris stared through the dimness at the sofa cushions, in the general direction of the hallway.

Scully _click-click-click_ ed into the living room to nose under the blankets, and managed to make it sound accusatory.

"If you're going to be like that, you might as well have stayed out longer," Hermes said, perfectly evenly. "Those kids don't need you acting like this on top of everything else."

"They're asleep," Loki muttered, and then asked, doubtfully, "aren't they?"

Fenris very carefully eased himself to the ground and tried to look like he'd kicked the covers off in his sleep.

"They are," Hermes said. "Doesn't matter. You get your moods-"

"They're not _moods,_ " Loki snapped.

" _Whatever,_ " Hermes interrupted him impatiently. "I don't care. Do whatever you need to do, but don't try to come running around with these kids while you're still angry, because you're going to do something you'll regret and spend ages beating yourself up about it, and I'm _trying_ to do you a favor and head that off before it happens."

Fenris thought Hermes was being a little unreasonable about this. He was tempted to get up and pretend he'd just noticed Loki was home, then maybe-

"Fine," Loki ground out. " _Whatever._ Since you're so _clever._ "

"You-"

Fenris didn't hear the door open or close, but he didn't hear Hermes finish whatever he'd been about to say, either.

Scully snuffled next to his ear, then wiggled in between him and Jormungand. Fenris rolled over to give her more room, mind racing and distinctly unsettled.

He'd never heard his dad act like _that_ to a friend.

* * *

Fenris didn't go back to sleep, after that. Partly because he thought he might miss something else, and partly because he was pretty sure the only thing preventing him f"rom having nightmares ever since he'd been poisoned was the bone-deep exhaustion the sickness had induced.

The room was full of quiet noises. The DVD player blinked _1:08_ at him in red numbers, and occasionally a car would go by with a dull roar outside, sending squares of light arcing across the ceiling. Slepnir and Jormungand breathed, one slightly quieter than the other, but the sound wasn't as calming as it usually was.

Fenris couldn't stop thinking.

What would happen, if the book he remembered Lillian finding at Hogwarts really did have the answers? What would he do about it then? There was a part of him that fiercely ached to _understand_ what had happened to him, but once he knew, would he be able to tell everyone else?

Fenris knew he wasn't the only one looking for answers. Vali and Narvi were searching, too, but he couldn't fathom why. What did they need to know?

Would he be able to find what they wanted to hear?

His life was too full of questions and too many people unwilling to give him answers.

Scully had curled up in the bend of his knee, and Fenris didn't mind, but now he turned over and shuffled around so he could pet her. Scully's eyes cracked open, but she didn't make any noise or move away.

At least Scully didn't expect anything from him except food and attention.

Fenris tried to stay awake, but he must have dozed off at some point, because he opened his eyes again and the clock said 2 _:30_ and someone was crying.

Fenris stared at nothing in particular, trying to pinpoint what was happening, and then realized it was Jormungand, who was clutching his pillow like a lifeline.

He dragged himself out from under the blankets, doing his best not to jostle Scully, and moved over to the sofa. "Jor. _Jor._ "

" _No_!"

Fenris ducked as Jormungand swung his arm out wildly, sitting bolt upright and still holding on to the the pillow.

" _It's just me!_ " Fenris said quickly, sitting back and hopefully out of reach. He heard Slepnir start with a sleepy " _Whuz'happenin'?"_

Jormungand stared at him for a few moments, before his face crumpled and he curled into a ball, pressing his face into the pillow.

Fenris wordlessly got up on the sofa next to him and leaned on their shoulder. Jormungand sniffed audibly, but didn't push him away.

"Oh," Slepnir said, sitting up. He haphazardly got to his feet and sat on Jormungand's other side, hugging him close. Jormungand leaned into it, making small noises into the pillow like he was trying hard to stop the tears. "Hey. 'S okay. What was it?"

Jormungand shook his head, inhaled shakily, and then raised his head enough to pull his shirt up to scrub at his face. At that point they'd woken up Scully, who was doing her best to jump up onto Jormungand's lap. Fenris reached down to pick her up. Scully then started doing her best to scramble away from him and lick as much of Jormungand's face as possible.

"Scully, _quiet,_ " Slepnir whispered, and he sounded so much like Loki for a second that Scully stared at him and stopped moving around so much. Slepnir gently nudged Jormungand's legs down to give Scully room to wiggle onto the latter's lap.

Jormungand sniffed shakily again, but Scully's presence seemed to calm him down a little. He was still making the kind of distraught face that said he really wasn't done crying and made Fenris itch to do _something,_ but long experience had taught him that all any of them could do was help chase the nightmare away.

A car went by outside again, loud in the nighttime silence, and light flashed briefly across the ceiling.

"We could watch a movie," Slepnir suggested, a few moments after darkness had settled back around them.

Fenris looked doubtfully at the small digital clock, which had changed to read _2:40_ , but Slepnir was already moving. Fenris had to squint his eyes shut against the sudden light when the TV turned on, but he could practically feel Jormungand relax as the darkness of the room was abruptly shoved out of the way.

He figured it probably wasn't _that_ bad of an idea.

Which was why, when Fenris woke up, he was still leaning heavily on Jormungand, the TV had gone back to the menu, and Loki was standing at the edge of the pile of blankets looking like he was trying desperately not to laugh.

"I see you had an eventful night," he said, when he noticed Fenris was awake.

"Couldn't sleep," Fenris said drowsily. He made an effort to sit up, rubbing at his eyes.

"And you didn't wake anybody up?" Loki stepped carefully over Slepnir to start messing with the DVD player. There was an electronic whir. "Ooh, Narnia? I didn't know we had this one."

Quite honestly, Fenris hadn't either. DVDs just sort of appeared on the shelf, sometimes. He thought it was Narvi's fault.

Unbidden, his mind rewound to the conversation he'd overheard. Whatever his dad had left to do, it _seemed_ to have helped, but...

Loki turned around, and something must have shown on Fenris's face, because he looked puzzled for a moment. "Something on your mind?"

"I...was thinking about Hogwarts," Fenris improvised quickly.

Understanding settled over Loki's face. " _Oh._ Hogwarts. Right." He ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, I guess as long as you're at a hundred percent again-"

"What?"

"As long as you're completely better," Loki corrected himself. "I figured you'd want to go back at some point."

There was something implied at the end of that, an _even if it's dangerous_ sort of sentiment, but Fenris didn't mind as long as the topic didn't stray to last night.

"My friends are there," Fenris said, by way of explanation. "And Tyr isn't, anymore." His dad hadn't said that, but if Tyr _had_ stayed at Hogwarts, his dad would have found him in a second and Tyr wouldn't have been able to stay for long.

"Yeah, I know." Loki scowled briefly at the mention of Tyr. He smoothed his expression out quickly, giving Fenris a calculating look. "You're sure?"

Fenris nodded.

"And you feel all the way better."

"I'm a little hungry."

"That's fixable." Loki stepped over Slepnir again, moving towards Fenris to shake Jormungand awake.

"Mmmmmmmgh." Jormungand pulled a pillow over his head. Scully stirred, making a soft not-quite-barking noise.

"Morning," Loki said cheerfully. "How ya feeling?"

"It's too early," Jormungand groaned. "Neither. I don't know. Ask me later." Fenris made a mental note about their pronouns.

"'They', then, how 'bout?"

"Whateveeeerrrrrrr."

Loki patted their head. "You'll be fine. I'll make pancakes. How late were you guys up?"

"I don't know," Fenris lied - only technically, because he really wasn't sure at what point he'd fallen asleep, even if he had seen the clock.

Scully managed to sit up and out of the confines of Jormungand's sleepy grip, whining properly and staring at Loki. He scratched behind her ears. "Were you keeping these guys company?"

Jormungand rolled away, making a face. "Her tail keeps _hitting_ me."

"Life is such a tragedy." Loki rolled his eyes and scooped Scully up into his arms. "C'mon, one of you come with me and feed her while I make something to feed you guys."

Fenris slid off the couch and was nearly tripped by Slepnir, who had apparently been awake for a while and giggled madly when Fenris stumbled.

Fenris stuck his tongue out at his brother, but he couldn't help but think that maybe things would turn out okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!
> 
> I hope I didn't spell anything wrong, I've been working on Unspoken Regrets simultaneously and it's taking some work to keep the two sets of kids separate!


	19. Back to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damnit, I swear I'm not trying to make these chapters late all the time! In my defense I was in a car for most of yesterday with no internet connection.
> 
> I'll be honest, I dunno what's happening in this chapter. I'm just gonna write stuff and see where this ends up. Mostly it'll be Fenris getting back involved with Hogwarts, and me trying to introduce some new characters, so hopefully that goes well.

It turned out the Hogwarts Express didn't run at all except during holidays and at the beginning and end of the year, but Fenris probably wouldn't have used it to get back to the school anyway.

Rain was throwing itself against the windows in McGonagall's office, which wasn't unusual for Scotland. McGonagall wasn't in her office, which _was_ unusual.

"Whoops," Loki said. "Guess she's out." He paused for a moment, then sidled around the desk and started opening the drawers.

"Does she have candy?" Fenris asked.

"Nah, the last one probably did, but she doesn't seem the type," Loki said. "Geez, this is so boring. It's all just work stuff. What does she do in her free time?"

"Read?" Fenris suggested, looking around at the bookshelves.

"Everyone's gotta have something they do to relax. _Those_ are not relax-y books." Loki moved on to a different drawer. "These are like, the most responsibly adult desk contents I've ever seen. And I've snooped in a lot of important desks."

"A desk can't be that important."

"Depends on how important the person sitting at it every day is."

Something creaked beyond the door, and there was a rumbling grind of stone on stone. Loki quickly shut the drawer and rounded the desk again, managing to pretend like he'd gone to look out the window before the door opened.

Professor McGonagall took one step into the room and then paused, frowning at Fenris and then narrowing her eyes when she saw Loki.

"Really coming down out there," Loki said conversationally. "Hope I don't see this storm again down in London."

"I asked you to come at half past," McGonagall said.

"Really? I could have sworn you said on the hour." Loki turned around to smile charmingly. McGonagall didn't look impressed.

"Sit down. Both of you," she said, taking a seat in the high-backed chair behind the desk. "We have things to discuss before you rejoin your classmates, Mr. Lokason."

Fenris sat down. Loki leaned casually on the chair, remaining standing.

"Like what?" Fenris asked. He'd already talked to Hermione about what had happened. What else could there be?

"I have made the student population aware that they are to leave you alone about the events of Halloween," McGonagall told him. "If anyone does bother you, let a teacher know. I'm sure it's not a topic you'd enjoy conversing about." She continued before Fenris could even nod. "The teachers are, of course, available if any other trouble arises."

"Just the teachers?" Loki questioned.

"I've asked them to notify me immediately," McGonagall said. "If it turns out to be beyond my abilities, I'll alert you."

Loki seemed satisfied with that, because he didn't say anything else. McGonagall looked back down at Fenris, who was just beginning to feel nervous about what he'd _say_ to Lysander and Lillian.

"Have a biscuit," she said, pushing a tin closer to his side of the desk. The side of the tin said it contained some kind of royal 'dansk', whatever that was, but when Fenris tilted it to look inside it was full of cookies. Huh.

He took a chocolate chip one. Loki reached for the tin, and McGonagall drew it sharply backwards and put the lid back on with a flick of her wand. Fenris tried not to laugh, really.

"I am aware, you know," McGonagall began, as Loki pretended to try and steal some of Fenris's cookie, "that Professor Angelo is somewhat - shall we say - _wiser_ to the less human parts of the world."

Fenris didn't say anything, given that he'd eaten the entire cookie in one go to stop his dad from stealing any, but his eyebrows shot up. He hadn't thought Muriel had told _anybody._

"I make it a private policy to ensure both the well-meaning and the species of any applicants before I hire them," McGonagall said dryly, noticing his surprise. "In any case, I would assume you'll go to her with any issues. I would prefer that anything _major_ be brought to my attention as well."

Fenris nodded. He knew Muriel wouldn't tell McGonagall anything without permission from him unless it was urgent, anyway. "I don't think something like this will happen again," he said.

McGonagall glanced up at Loki, who must have looked skeptical, because she didn't seem reassured. Or maybe it was because Fenris looked eleven. "I'll keep that in mind," she said.

"If that's all?" Loki questioned.

"It is." McGonagall leaned back and didn't _quite_ relax. "You're free to return to your dorm - classes are in session at the moment, so I doubt anyone will be there."

"Okay." _Phew._ Fenris got up, but Loki caught him in a loose hug before he managed to take a single step towards the door.

"Keep an eye out, 'kay?" Loki ruffled Fenris's hair. His tone was lighthearted, but Fenris knew how much he meant it. "Fingers crossed everything goes well from here on out." He leaned in a little closer to whisper, "Keep that present I gave you close," before letting go.

Fenris crossed his fingers and raised that hand, smiling, while thinking of the knife in his trunk. "Fingers crossed. " He couldn't have said why he liked that phrase so much. He just did.

Loki grinned back and waved jauntily, vanishing between one moment and the next.

Fenris waved a quick goodbye at McGonagall before pushing open the door. He'd never actually used the stairs to the headmistress's office, so when the huge stone eagle began to turn (and the stairs with it) he jumped and nearly fell in surprise.

Luckily, the gargoyle at the other end of the staircase didn't move, even when Fenris poked its foot, and McGonagall had been right - there were no students in the halls and only a few upper-years in the common room, who were so distracted by homework they didn't notice him come in until he was already heading towards his room.

Fenris shut the door with a sigh. The dorm room was reassuringly unchanged. He hadn't been gone for very long, so he didn't know why he'd worried. Someone had closed his trunk, and the beds had been made, but that was about it.

Fenris pondered over the pros and cons of trying to go to the library. He'd promised to find the book...but he'd have to ask Lillian first, or walk back through the common room full of upper years. And he really didn't want to.

He could probably find something to entertain himself with until everybody got back. He wasn't sure whether the nervous feeling he got was the bad kind or the hopeful anticipation kind.

* * *

"You're back!"

Lysander practically threw himself at Fenris, who definitely did roll out of the way as quickly as possible. Lysander didn't seem deterred, catching him in an upside-down hug which was further complicated by the fact that they were both lying down.

"Are you okay? It's been ages!"

"It's been a week," Fenris said stiffly, trying to keep himself from doing anything and telling himself it _didn't matter_ how Lysander was pinning him down. "I'm fine. Please let go."

Lysander sat back with an injured expression. "I was worried," he mumbled.

"It's okay," Fenris hurried to reassure him, _very_ aware that the other Hufflepuff boys were watching both of them with avid interest. "It's not you."

Lysander frowned, but Elijah spoke up before he could. "You put all the teachers in a right panic."

"I know," Fenris said, looking down. It was a very obvious fish for information.

"What happened?" Sam was more straightforward.

Fenris tensed. It wasn't any of their business. " _Stuff,_ " he said tersely. "The headmistress said she told people not to bother me about it."

A single mention of McGonagall was enough to have them shuffling awkwardly. Lysander aimed a poisonous look at the slowly dispersing crowd and then pulled the curtains on Fenris's bed shut.

"You don't mind, right?" He asked in the abrupt near-darkness.

"No," Fenris said. The pair on the other side of the bed were still open, anyway. He side-eyed Lysander. "What do you want to ask?"

"What? Nothing," Lysander lied.

"Lysander." Fenris lowered his voice. "My dad is the _god_ of lying. I can tell when you're doing that."

"Doing what? Oh, lying." Lysander pulled his legs up onto the bed and sat with them crisscrossed. "I don't want to...freak you out."

"If your question is 'what happened' then you should know I got done being freaked out a few days ago," Fenris said. "And I'll tell you later so I don't have to tell it again to Lillian."

"Oh. Okay." Lysander sounded relieved. His voice got quieter when he added, "I'm glad you're okay. I would have missed you."

Fenris smiled. "Thanks." It was nice, having friends you weren't related to. He'd almost forgotten how nice humans could be.

* * *

Lillian shot over to the Hufflepuff table as soon as she saw them the next morning, which was approximately three seconds after she walked in the door.

"Where have you _been,_ " she said, shoving herself into the space next to Fenris that wasn't already occupied by Lysander.

"At home?"

"What _happened?"_ Lillian, as usual, didn't spare much thought on politeness.

Fenris glanced around at the Hufflepuffs sitting near them and, subtly, used a trick he knew to turn their attention away from him and the twins. At least, given that it was a weekend, there weren't many people still in the Hall this late in the morning.

"I got poisoned," he muttered.

" _What,_ " Lysander said.

" _Really?"_ Lillian asked over her brother, voice hushed. She appeared to be torn between horror and fascination. " _Who?_ "

Fenris glanced at the staff table. There was an empty seat in between Flitwick and Sprout. Both of the twins followed his gaze.

"What?" Lysander asked, confused.

"Who's missing?" Fenris asked them.

Lillian frowned. Lysander stared for a few more moments, then gasped so loudly Fenris shoved a hand over his mouth.

" _Hymirsson?_ " Lysander hissed, once Fenris took his hand away. "Are you _serious?_ "

"The professor?" Lillian gaped at Fenris.

"Maybe we should have this conversation somewhere else," Fenris said. "You two are really loud."

"You can't just _say_ something like that and expect us not to yell," Lillian whispered furiously. "Why in Merlin's name would he want to poison you?"

"He...doesn't like my family." Understatement, but he didn't want to have to explain the whole thing.

"Please tell me you're not about to say that he wasn't human _and you never told us._ "

"...It never came up?"

"Merlin," Lysander said despairingly.

"I didn't want to make it a big deal," Fenris said sheepishly.

" _It's a big deal,_ " Lillian not-quite-yelled.

"Hey, it's not really," Lysander intervened quickly. "I mean, I wish we'd _known,_ I wouldn't have stared at his arm so much if I knew he was like you."

Fenris side-eyed him. "...No, he's not."

"How's that work?" Lillian questioned immediately. "You're both go-"

"Ssssh," Lysander hissed, looking around furtively.

"Do you have a piece of paper?" Fenris asked. Lillian pulled out some parchment obligingly, and Fenris dug around in his bag until he found something to write with.

"Okay," he said, sketching out a pencil version of Yggdrasil. "So this is the world tree, and there are realms in...these places." He drew a couple lopsided circles. Lysander and Lillian both leaned in to look closely, like it was some mystical revelation. "Tyr's from here." Fenris poked where Asgard would be on the Tree. "I'm from _here._ Sort of," he added, moving the pencil  Jotunheim.

"Sort of?" Lysander sounded baffled.

"Both my _parents_ are. I've never actually been there."

"Oh."

"What's this one?" Lillian pointed at the topmost realm he'd indicated.

"Asgard," Fenris said. "It's the most important one because the Æsir do the most." He reconsidered how to phrase that. "I mean they...show up in a lot of places?"

"Æsir?"

"That's what the people are called."

"Then what are you called if you're from here?" Lysander poked at Jotunheim.

"Jotun."

"So your family's Jotuns," Lillian said, with the air of someone who wasn't quite sure if they understood yet. She looked offended when Fenris snorted.

"That's not how it works," Fenris said. "It's..." How to explain? He raised his fingers; first one, then two. "One Jotun, two Jotnar."

"Oh." Lillian frowned at the parchment. "What are the other ones, then?"

"Not important." This wasn't the time for a geography lesson. Fenris drew an arrow towards Jotunheim from the direction of Asgard. " _They_ don't like _us_ is important. They haven't ever and especially not dad because...I don't know why." Loki had probably done something they hadn't liked. Fenris wasn't entirely sure anybody had known his father has Jotun - but they must have, if they held such a grudge.

"Badly enough to do _that?_ " Lysander looked disgusted.

"Apparently." Fenris tried to be nonchalant. "I dunno why they're getting so mad over an old argument _now._ "

"What argument?" Lillian managed to zero in on the most important part.

"I _really_ wish I knew."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha that seems like a totally legit ending spot so here you go new chapter
> 
> Comment please!


	20. The Forbidden Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....This chapter is only late by virtue of being posted exactly three minutes after midnight.
> 
> I swear to god, it was not anything I could have controlled, my flight home got delayed four hours :( I set foot in my house for the first time in a week about an hour ago. I _would ___have posted earlier, but the airport didn't have good wifi.
> 
> _Anyway! Chapter! More buildup, but the next chapter has some pretty...explosive stuff._
> 
> _Anyway enjoy!_

"What I don't get," Lysander said, "is why he went for _you._ "

"What do you mean?" Fenris kept his eyes on the shelf, looking for the book Lillian had found before. He remembered the author's name from a brief glimpse (Something Sturluson), and he was going slow to make sure he didn't miss it.

Not at all because he was nervous.

"Well," Lysander said, leaning against the shelf next to Lillian, "you said they didn't like you 'cause of Loki, right?"

"...Yes." Fenris had to pause for a moment before he realized 'cause' was 'because' in this case. He hated slang sometimes. It was unnecessarily confusing.

"So why not just go for Loki?"

"'Cause dad would kill him."

It took Fenris a moment to realize that both twins had gone silent. When he turned around, they were both staring at him.

"You seem to be taking that pretty lightly," Lysander said faintly.

"Tyr tried to kill _me,_ " Fenris reminded him. "Nobody's pretending to be nice about it."

It was only the second time he'd admitted it aloud, and neither of the twins looked like they were sure what to think of it - or him. Fenris changed the subject, turning back to the shelf. He was staring at books with authors whose names were well past the S's, and even further down the English alphabet from the last shelf.

"I think what I'm looking for is at the top," he said.

"Oh," Lysander said, sounding relieved. "You could go ask Madam Pince-"

"No, I can get it," Fenris said, and put his foot on the shelf to climb up.

Or he almost did, at least, but paused before his shoe actually touched it, frowning. "Is there a spell on this?"

"To stop people climbing the shelves? Probably," Lillian said. "Um, when you said Tyr tried to kill you-"

"That's usually what people poison other people for." Fenris frowned harder at the spell, until it obligingly bent itself out of the way under the force of pagan power and with a little flick of his fingers, like Loki sometimes did. _Then_ he started climbing up towards where the S's probably were, unless he'd forgotten how English worked. A, b, c...

"Don't climb away from us to avoid this conversation," Lillian whisper-shouted after him, as Fenris reached the T's.

"I'm going to come back down," Fenris replied, at the same volume. He didn't want to attract Madam Pince's attention any more than they did. Thomson, Telmarine, Sturluson-

_Sturluson._

Fenris paused, precariously balanced with his feet on the shelf below and one hand on a higher one. The book looked thinner than he remembered, gold leaf illuminating the title. _The Eddas._

It was the right author, he was pretty sure, and something in the name sounded familiar.

Lysander made a startled, hurriedly choked-off noise when Fenris jumped, but Fenris landed so lightly the only reaction was a slight cloud of dust where his robes had dragged on the shelves. He'd climbed a lot as a kid. His dad had taught him _that_ one early on.

"That was pretty cool," Lillian said. "Hey, that _is_ the book I had."

Fenris wasn't sure if he was reassured by that. He tucked the book under his arm.

"Fenris," Lillian began, hesitantly.

"I don't want to talk about Tyr," Fenris said before she could keep going.

"...Isn't it scary?"

Yes. It was.

"I don't want to talk about it," Fenris repeated, in an angry mumble, and went to go check out the book.

* * *

It sat, unread, at the bottom of his trunk for almost two weeks straight.

Fenris took it out a few times, meaning to actually begin. But he never got very far, either getting too nervous about what it might hold or stumbling on some scrap of a story he'd been told before, that he _knew_ was true. And then the book would to back under the robes and right to the bottom, and he'd try to forget about it.

Well. Not forget about it, exactly, but maybe pretend he didn't feel the pressure to read it quite as badly.

He saw Harriet Lupin wearing her wolf-him necklace a couple times, which didn't help much with his nervousness. He ended up avoiding her whenever she was wearing it, which made Teddy Lupin start giving him odd looks when they passed (rarely) in the hall or during meals.

Fenris would never say that the bad dreams got worse, because they never really got _better_ in the first place, just less frequent (that, and he didn't like talking about _them_ either). But they did get worse, gauged mostly by how he felt afterwards and how long the lingering fear stayed, so the third time it happened he decided he'd had enough and went to talk to Muriel.

"Can I go outside," he said, _"please._ Just to be somewhere like that."

"Somewhere like _what,_ the Forest?" Muriel took a closer look at him, eyes narrowing. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Fenris shrugged uncomfortably. "I just want to go outside."

"It's the middle of the night. Tell me whether you mean the Forest or not."

"Yes." The Forest might have been dangerous, but he'd never liked being stuck inside all the time.

Muriel gave him one last searching look, then sighed. "Fine," she said. "But I'm coming with you."

* * *

The Forest at night was dark and ominous. Fenris liked it.

There was still wizard magic in the air that meant they hadn't crossed the wards, and Muriel refused to let Fenris go very far from her, but the moment they passed under the shade of the trees was a relief.

"Why outside?" Muriel asked, sitting down on a fallen log once they came to a small clearing, in a purposeful way that meant she wasn't letting him to any further tonight. Her breath made clouds in the chilly air, unusually so for a time of year where there wasn't even any snow yet.

Then again, it was Scotland.

Fenris dragged his foot through the grass, leaving a trail through the dew, and utterly failed to produce any misty clouds when he discreetly tried breathing harder.

"I like it better," he said, eventually, in answer to her question. "It's more...we're not _inside_ gods."

"Ah," Muriel sighed, like that made perfect sense, even though Fenris was pretty sure he'd used the wrong word somewhere. "And I suppose there's nothing like this in London."

"There used to be," Fenris said. "Slepnir says so, and he was there." Fenris wished that London now was still like the old London, where they would be allowed to run around all the time and there were wide plains and a forest just beyond the city.

Wind rustled the leaves above them, bringing chilly nighttime air to bite a little harder. Fenris didn't mind it. Neither did Muriel, as far as he could tell.

Fenris sat down and flopped onto his back to stare up through a gap in the canopy of trees, uncaring of the wetness soaking into his robes. Stars glittered in the sky, far more plentiful than they were in London. Steel-and-glass London. Nothing like he knew it should be like.

"Do you have any stories about the stars?" Muriel asked.

"I don't know if I've heard them all," Fenris said, but he looked harder at the individual stars. Eventually, by rolling onto his belly, he managed to spot a familiar _W_ of stars through the trees. "There. That one."

Muriel followed his gaze, tilting her head to see around the trees. "Cassiopeia?"

"No," Fenris said, although he vaguely remembered that that was the name of the princess of something when Hermes was the one telling the story. "It's Ratatosk. The squirrel."

"The squirrel?" Muriel repeated, sounding amused.

"He lives on Yggdrasil," Fenris told her. "So he's not regular. And he causes trouble."

"Yggdrasil?"

"The World Tree," Fenris elaborated. "This is one of - _Earth_ is one of the realms. The branches go up there-" he pointed at the sky, "and the roots are way down below us. Midgard is right in the middle where the branches start."

Muriel looked upwards, her gaze focusing on something far above them. Fenris wasn't sure she was looking at the stars. "There's a million and one stories about everything in the sky," she said.

"It's not a story," Fenris said, affronted. "Well, it is, but it's _true._ "

"Of course," Muriel said, in a way that meant _well that's what you believe is true. _

Fenris turned over and sat bolt upright when branches crunched under somebody's feet. It was dark, but he could see the silhouette of a horse - but there was a rider, except he was too far forward...

"Oh, pardon me, Ronan," Muriel said. "Is this part of your land?"

"All the forest is ours," the centaur said, "though the wizards' Ministry would argue otherwise." He peered at Fenris. "Who have you brought with you?"

"I brought myself," Fenris said.

"We were simply stargazing," Muriel said. "It's a very clear night."

That seemed to distract Ronan the centaur. He tipped his head back to look at the sky. "Indeed," he agreed. "Mars is growing brighter, as it does too often."

"What does that mean," Fenris asked, forgetting to make it sound like a question in his confusion. He stood up, brushing the damp from his robes, slightly unsuccessfully.

Ronan looked back down at him with nonhuman eyes that looked farther than human ones did. " _Mars,_ child," he said. "The Roman god of war gave the planet its name. What do you think it means?"

"That's Ares," Fenris said, because spending a lot of time with Hermes had done nothing if not give him a healthy preference for Greek over Roman. "But I know what you mean."

Ronan gave him a long, scrutinizing look. Fenris stared back, unwilling to be the first to look away. Ronan apparently felt the same, because he spoke to Muriel without looking at her.

"What have you brought into this forest?"

"Like he said," Muriel said, somewhat stiffly, "he brought himself." She stood up as well, the dirt of the forest falling away with no visible prompting from her. "We should go back to school. It's early in the morning and Filch may very well have an aneurysm if he sees you out so late whether or not you're with me."

Fenris let himself be pulled along, turning to hold the look with Ronan until the trees hid him from view. Then he turned to Muriel and asked, incredulously, "What's a _centaur_ doing in an _English forest?_ "

"What do you mean?" Muriel picked her way through the forest in a method that mostly involved obstacles bending themselves out of her way as she passed. Fenris avoided them neatly as ferns and branches sprung back into place.

"They're _Greek._ " Fenris hesitated. "Aren't they?"

"At the source, I believe so. They might have come to England with the Romans. I wouldn't know."

Fenris was supposed to _know_ this already. He hated having to re-learn seven centuries' worth of things he'd missed; things he always _thought_ he already knew before something reminded him no, it's different now. "I'll just ask dad," he muttered. Muriel cast him a glance, expression inscrutable in the dark forest.

"Bed first," she said. "At least try to sleep."

"I will," Fenris said, like he always did. And, like always, he was lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please! I doubt anybody will but I'm gonna keep saying it in the hope that somebody's gonna listen.


	21. Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? It's the sound of approaching major plot points. Buckle your seatbelts. Fenris has a lot of problems he doesn't deal with and they are coming for him.

Fenris started going into the Forest more often.

Muriel didn't insist on going with him, not unless it was at night, but if he could steal away during the day and spend a few moments among the trees it was enough to tide him over and suffer the darkness of the Hufflepuff dormitories at three in the morning. Admittedly the common room was usually lit by more than just torches, but moonlight through a window and moonlight through tree branches were two entirely different things.

The Forest wasn't really that bad. Aside from the territorial centaurs who occasionally appeared, pretty silently despite their hooves, to warn him away from various areas. But Fenris liked the time he spent in there, for the most part.

This had the drawback of making him a little more irritable whenever he _was_ inside, and he tended to spend a lot of class time staring out windows at the drift of orange and yellow leaves and tall trunks at the edge of the lawn, if he could see it from the classroom. He wished Hogwarts had windows that could open - but then again, it was cold enough even when it _wasn't_ the time of year where snow started piling up.

Snow made it harder to walk, but Fenris liked the Forest just as much with or without snow in the way.

Muriel side-eyed him heavily whenever he came into his morning Transfiguration classes with the hem of his robe wet and hat hair, but she never said a word, only reminded him not to go alone at night every now and then.

It was the day after a particularly heavy snow (which drifted up against the trees and made Fenris wish he knew a spell to make himself lighter so he could walk on top of it) that he ran into Harriet Lupin again.

He hadn't meant to, but they were both Hufflepuffs, and there was a bit of a crowd of all of them heading towards their dormitory after a free period which he hadn't known was both first and second years. They shared their free period with the Gryffindors, and it was a Gryffindor she was talking to.

Talking maybe wasn't the right word.

It had probably started over something stupid, but the Gryffindor was red-faced and sounded angry and Harriet kept folding into herself in a way that Fenris recognized as the _maybe if I can get small enough he won't be able to see me to shout_ method.

And anybody acting like they noticed was just standing and watching.

So he walked right in between them and bumped into the Gryffindor.

"Hey, watch it!" The girl snapped, after a confused moment where she tried to figure out who she was supposed to be angry at now. Harriet did not take the obvious chance to make a run for it and stood there, staring in surprise at Fenris.

"Don't stand still in the middle of the hallway, then," Fenris said.

"Excuse _you,_ there is _plenty of room to walk around_ -"

"I didn't want to go around."

The girl swelled up, full of righteous anger. Fenris took a moment to privately laugh at how she probably thought she was intimidating. She was only twelve, at _most._

"Who do you think you are, the Minister of Magic?" She demanded. There was a friend in red and gold hovering at her shoulder, urgently hissing "Sheila, _no,_ " but Sheila wasn't listening. "Do you want to _fight_ or something?"

Boy, was _that_ the wrong question to ask right then.

If anyone at that exact moment had been impartial enough or omniscient enough, they would have noted that this was, generally, the spot in myths where the hero got royally Effed Up by whichever god they'd just challenged and/or mouthed off to.

Fenris had just spent a free period pretending not to be worried about homework, he wanted to go back to the Forest, and he hadn't slept well.

"Sure," he said, dropped his books on the floor, and wrenched the nearest suit of armor's hands apart so he could seize the hilt of the big iron sword.

It was heavier than he'd expected - heavier than any wooden toy, and he'd never even _touched_ a tourney blade, not that anybody used those anymore - and so the tip scraped against the ground. Fenris went with it and propped it tip-first on the ground. The hilt came up to his ribcage, which was embarrassing, but it wasn't like anyone else there knew what kind of sword would be a reasonable size for him.

He held it as confidently as he could and stared Sheila in the eye.

Sheila stared back, temporarily speechless. The crowd of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors had made a circle around the two of them, Harriet still behind Sheila and Sheila's friend backing up a step or two.

"What kind of _-_ " Sheila began, and sputtered off before she finished. "I meant with wands!"

"What's the point of _that?_ To send Tickling Hexes at each other until somebody starts laughing too hard?" Fenris made sure to look extra unimpressed. "You said 'fight'."

Sheila visibly hesitated, working to come up with a decent rebuttal, but it was true - they were only second years, neither of them knew any spells that would actually qualify as usable in a _real_ fight.

Well. _She_ didn't know any.

"What kind of person assumes I meant a _swordfight?_ " Sheila eventually spat out. "I thought Hufflepuffs were supposed to be _nice._ " And with that apparently cutting remark, she stomped off, heading for the stairs.

Fenris dragged the sword back into place, ignoring the remaining crowd. The suit of armor curled its hands around the hilt again with a somewhat irritated and wheezy creak of badly-oiled hinges and dust.

"That was _so cool,_ " Lysander enthused.

Fenris turned around with raised eyebrows.

"You were serious, weren't you?" The twins had identical grins. Lillian in particular looked thrilled. "You _were._ The expression on her face was _hilarious._ "

Fenris was getting the feeling he didn't look as nonchalant about it as he was trying. "You're standing on my backpack strap," was what he said, in an effort to redirect Lillian's gushing.

"What - oh, your rucksack." Lillian took a step backwards.

"You have weird words for things," Fenris decided, wishing he could just sweep all his stuff back into his arms, but there were still people watching.

"Just because you apparently learned _American_ English," Lillian said, without finishing the sentence. Or maybe she meant it to be like that?

Fenris reached down to grab the last book and found it being held out to him.

"Thanks," Harriet blurted. She was wearing the six-pointed star necklace again. "You didn't have to do that."

"No one else was."

"Yeah, but - you didn't have to." Harriet repeated. "Thanks."

Fenris took the book. "It..." He gave up trying to find the right words before he even really started and just nodded in acknowledgement.

It had only partly been for her benefit, but he wasn't going to say that out loud.

* * *

He didn't manage to make it into the Forest most days, so when he found free time during a weekend where nobody would miss him, he took it.

Strangely enough, it was only ever during the day that he stumbled across thestrals.

The black, skeletal horses had spooked him for a moment, before he recognized them. They were friendly-ish, but mostly just far less territorial than the centaurs. If Fenris sat very still, they went around him and he ended up in a sea of thestrals.

He'd seen a few baby thestrals, which were oddly cute for all that they were really just miniature versions of the adults. After the first couple times, they stopped being bothered by Fenris and let him shuffle past into the middle of the herd, since all of them were in a protective circle around the littlest ones.

Normally, the Forest was pretty quiet.

So when the thestrals started acting skittish, Fenris noticed.

He also noticed the flash of grey fur in the bushes.

It probably wasn't very dignified or whatever to bolt up the nearest tree, but it wasn't like he'd stopped to think about it.

The thestrals were leaving just as fast, and whatever was in the bushes ( _wolf) (shut up brain shut up it's not a wolf)_ wisely stayed out of sight and out of the way. There wasn't a single leaf on the tree - whatever it was could see him easily, if they looked up. _Don't see me don't see me don't see me.  
_

Fenris had three agonizing seconds to realize his only possible cover for leaving was _leaving,_ and then they were gone.

And then the wolves slunk into the clearing.

Fenris had to clap a hand over his mouth. One grey wolf, one brown one - _the same two he'd dreamed about._ That couldn't be possible. But they were _right there._

" _Tell_ me you didn't come this way for those stupid horse things," the brown one growled.

What.

"I didn't!" The grey one said defensively.

"There's _nobody here._ "

"Don't blame me, you're the one who woke me up." The grey one sounded distinctly grumpy. He yawned, showing uncomfortably sharp-looking teeth. "And you _listened_ when I said I smelled something."

"There's still nothing here!" The brown one was stalking back and forth. "You said you were _sure._ "

"I _was._ Calm down, Sköll."

"Oh you calm down!" Sköll snapped. The grey one already looked pretty relaxed, lying down with his head on his paws.

"We'll find him," the grey one said placidly. Fenris's arms prickled with goosebumps. _Please don't be talking about me._ "Don't worry so much."

"Of course I'm going to worry!" Sköll retorted. " _You_ know what Fenris is like!" Fenris's blood went cold and his stomach dropped about three feet when she said his name. "He's a mess! He'd be permanently stuck in trouble if _we_ weren't there."

...What.

"I think you're giving yourself too much credit," the grey one muttered.

"Shut up, Hati."

"I'm just saying, he'll survive without you trailing him around everywhere."

This was not where Fenris had expected the conversation to go.

"With Asgard practically on the warpath? You heard what Mani said!"

"... _I_ told _you_ what he said."

"Details," Sköll said dismissively, while Fenris listened with increasing confusion.

Hati's back rose and fell like he was huffing an impatient breath. "Well, I know what I smelled. Even if it _is_ daytime and I'd rather be asleep. He's definitely here."

"You've been half asleep all day, you couldn't pick up a scent if it was blown straight at your face," Sköll said disdainfully.

"Which one of us got us this far?"

"Which one of us _lost the scent?_ "

"You're so _critical,_ " Hati complained, tucking his nose into his paws.

This was messing up Fenris's whole head. They were definitely looking for him, but they didn't seem to want to _do_ anything to him. Hati had made it sound like they were trying to find him so they could... _protect_ him.

"We can't just stay here forever." Sköll was pacing in an irritated circle.

"I mean, _technically_ we could," Hati said. "No one's stopping us."

"You know what I mean! We might miss something somewhere else."

"Yeah. The really important something, I must've forgotten." Hati, at that point, resembled a large furry ball, tail curled around him all the way up to his nose. He seemed perfectly comfortable, despite the dusting of snow on the ground.

"Are you asleep?" Sköll questioned indignantly.

"Unfortunately, no."

Sköll bit Hati hard enough that the latter scrambled to his feet and away with a yelp. "Ymir's _bones-_ "

"Don't you care at all?" Sköll demanded. Her tail was upright and indignantly stiff.

"What kind of question is that, of course I do! Just because _you're_ used to being awake during the day doesn't mean I like having to be awake too."

A breeze rattled the bare branches of the tree. Fenris held on tightly, not wanting to be dislodged - he knew exactly how precarious his position was.

Both of the wolves raised their heads at the same time.

Wolves could smell scents on a breeze, couldn't they?

Fenris squeezed his eyes shut _._ He could hear both of them moving around on the ground, shouting back and forth at each other. _Please get lost, go away, go somewhere else._

The Forest seemed very quiet.

Fenris looked down.

Two pairs of eyes looked back up.

"Well this is a fucking twist," Sköll said. Fenris scrambled to climb higher. "Hey!"

"Go away!" Fenris shouted down.

"What?"

"I said go away!" He clung to a branch as the one under his feet swayed alarmingly. He was dangerously high up now, and the branches could only be so thin before they would stop supporting his weight.

" _What?"_

" _Sköll,_ " Hati growled. Fenris lost whatever words followed in another gust of wind. By the time the branches stopped creaking alarmingly around him, the two wolves were whispering at each other too quietly for him to hear.

At least it meant they were far enough away that he could relax a tiny bit. Fenris wished _this_ was a dream - then he could've shaken himself out of it, woken up and made the two prowling around the base of the tree vanish.

"Look," Hati called up after a few long moments. "I get that maybe you're not thrilled to see us again-"

 _Again?_ "I don't know what you're talking about!" Fenris shouted. Why didn't they just _leave?_

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Sköll growled.

"Sköll-"

"No! I didn't walk through _multiple_ realms for him to act like he doesn't even know us-"

"I _don't!_ " Maybe that would finally end this, Fenris thought desperately. "I don't know what you want! Just leave me alone!"

Sköll growled, low in her throat, and it might have been words but Fenris didn't want to listen to see if he understood. He flattened his hands over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut.

This was not how he'd wanted this day to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, please!


	22. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're in luck, curious readers, because shit is going down.
> 
> Poor Fen :( There is so much stress in his life (yes, I'm aware it's mostly my fault, but I regret nothing).

Fenris was on edge for the next _week,_ and he didn't dare go in the Forest once during that time.

He didn't sleep much, either, because the arrival of Sköll and Hati had triggered some kind of constant, pressing headache, and he didn't know what might end up in his dreams. The first night, he'd gone through the table of contents in the Edda book, looking for mentions of either of those names. He hadn't dared to flip any further through the book.

Neither of them had been mentioned, but that didn't mean they weren't in any of the stories.

Fenris didn't actually need as much sleep as the average twelve-year-old human, but several nights in a row without _any_ resulted in him dragging his feet whenever he had to go anywhere and nearly nodding off in classes that weren't History of Magic.

That said, he'd still nearly jumped out of his skin when Lillian had tapped him on the shoulder to wake him up. Being tired didn't mean he wasn't on edge. If Tyr had been here, and now those two wolves who'd haunted him for so long, who _else_ was going to show up?

He wasn't stupid enough to think that nobody noticed, but he was tired enough not to care.

Muriel, at least, didn't try and keep him behind to ask. Fenris didn't know why, but he wasn't complaining.

It was getting harder and harder to stay awake all through the night.

* * *

_He couldn't move-  
_

_There was an unbearable pain in his mouth and he couldn't_ move, _and someone he couldn't see was curled up against his chest and licking at the fur there, trying to be reassuring.  
_

_Fenris tried to reach up, to spit out whatever was in his mouth, but his arm jerked against a tight binding that didn't give an inch._

_It didn't seem surprising that it didn't work. Fenris whined, because he_ hurt _and his body felt strange and full of magic, buzzing in his veins and clouding his head._

_"Just stay still," the someone - something? - by his chest said, almost pleadingly. Someone else moved just outside of his line of sight, and Fenris strained to look but he couldn't move his head without it hurting._

_Something sharp and_ painful _dug into his wrist and Fenris cried out, flinching and reflexively striking out. He felt the familiar swell of magic, but it felt like a wave swelling up but never breaking and nothing happened except his claws catching in something that jumped away from him with a pained cry._

_"Sköll!"_

_"It's okay, it's just a scratch." Sköll's voice shook despite her reassurance. There was something warm and wet on Fenris's hands.  
_

_"This would be easier if he could talk to us." Hati - was it Hati? - pressed his face against Fenris so that the latter could feel the rumble of Hati's voice. "It's okay, I promise, we're trying to help."_

_Fenris's breath felt like it had perpetually caught around something he couldn't voice. He could hear himself panting, too hot and and hurting too much to say anything, even though nothing would come out sounding like he meant it to._

_But he felt like he trusted Hati._

_It felt like everything was blurring, going strange and false around him. The pain in his mouth increased and something was jabbing into his tongue, and there was a moment of screaming pain before something clattered onto what sounded like stone and the pressure vanished._

_The pain did not._

* * *

Fenris woke up tasting blood, with his hands clamped over his mouth and a lingering ache in his jaw.

He shot upright, eyes wide open. His own breathing seemed loud in the silence of the dormitory. Swallowing, Fenris cautiously let go of his face. Nothing happened. IT didn't hurt, except for the faint idea that it _should_ hurt, leftover from the dream.

He slid out of bed and made his way silently over to the bathroom.

He didn't flip on the light, but there was a nightlight-ish thing that was always on, so he could make out his reflection in the mirror. He looked...well, terrible. And exhausted. But he wasn't bleeding from anywhere.

Fenris cautiously opened his mouth. No blood, as far as he could tell.

The water from the tap sounded loud, too, and Fenris hurriedly turned the tap again so that the flow slowed to a trickle. He opened it up again, carefully, and pressed his hands together to form a cup.

The light from the magical nightlight was faintly blue, and it cast an odd sheen to the water. Fenris sipped at it and held the mouthful of water for a moment before spitting it out, trying to get rid of the taste of iron.

It left pink streaks in the sink as it swirled down the drain.

Fenris flinched away from the sink so badly his back hit the wall opposite. His hand went back to his mouth without his meaning to do it, and he didn't _taste_ blood but he had to be bleeding-

The mirror showed him his own face, eyes wide and frightened.

When he stepped closer again, the sink was unmarked except for small drops of water that had been left behind.

" _What's wrong with me?"_ Fenris whispered to the mirror, too shaken for English. His reflection didn't reply.

He didn't have a lot of options if he wanted to get any actual answers.

* * *

The Forest felt colder than usual, and even with less snow than usual on the ground Fenris still felt like he was slogging through it, step by step.

The trees crowded close around him, and the only bright thing Fenris could see was the snow caught on their branches. Moonlight made its way to the ground in straggly clumps, highlighting a branch there or a bit of snow pockmarked by a strange footprint there.

It felt a lot more dangerous to be there than it ever had before.

Fenris pulled his cloak more securely around himself and kept walking.

His footprints from before were still there, partially filled in. Fenris hadn't yet reached the clearing when blue eyes flashed in the underbrush and he froze.

Hati slunk out into a patch of moonlight, each paw carefully placed. Fenris watched him carefully, unwilling to look away. He wasn't sure what he was so scared of.

"I didn't think you'd come back." Hati sat down, despite the snow. He probably didn't mind it. It wasn't like wolves lived indoors (luckily).

It took a few false starts before Fenris managed to speak. "You knew me." It wasn't a question.

"...Yeah." Hati sounded vaguely disinterested, but his tail was sweeping slowly back and forth, brushing snow out of the way. "Didn't think you remembered."

"I _don't._ I don't know you."

Hati's ears flattened, and he glanced down, away from Fenris. "Then why'd you come?"

Hati knew him. Fenris didn't remember. Logically speaking, that meant Hati had known him during the time that Fenris had forgotten - or been forced to forget.

"Tell me what they did to me." Fenris's voice was steadier than he'd thought it would be.

Hati blinked at him. "You don't _know?_ "

"I _said_ I didn't remember. Not any of it." Fenris clenched his hands into fists and shoved them into his pockets, but he didn't look away.

"Mani's chariot," Hati said, making it sound like a swear word. " _Nothing?_ Geez."

"Are you going to tell me or not?" Fenris's hands were shaking in his pockets. "I don't have to ask you - I could find out on my own-"

"But you haven't?"

"Just _tell_ me!"

Hati was on his feet again, ears pricked forwards, looking like he was ready to dart out of the way of anything that might come. "He changed you," Hati said, and Fenris didn't need to ask who 'he' was because he had the worst feeling that he already knew. "Into-"

"Stop." Shut up, shut up, he'd changed his mind, he didn't want to know, he didn't want to hear Hati say it, but his traitorous mind was already finishing the sentence, whispering _wolf-_

Fenris turned on his heel and lashed out with a wordless shout, in whatever direction wasn't towards Hati, and his magic clawed through the Forest.

Branches hit the ground with snow-muffled _thump_ s. The trees creaked alarmingly. Fenris looked at the gouges he'd made and thought wildly of clawmarks, and lashed out again until the trees were not so much covered in clawlike gouges as they were completely missing half the trunk.

"I'm _not!"_ Branches clattered against and got caught in each other. Fenris screamed out his frustration but the truth, now that he knew it, was stuck in his mind. Ice cracked and formed out of the snow around him. Frost skittered up the sides of destroyed trees. The underbrush rattled and clinked as ice crept over it and invisible wildlife beat a hasty retreat.

And when Fenris's knees hit the ground and he slumped down with his face in his hands, Hati kept a wary distance. Fenris's fingernails were digging into his scalp, hair twisted around his fingers and the heels of his palms pressed tightly against his cheeks, and the crunch of icy snow under Hati's paws sounded distant, like he was wearing a thick hat and the cloth was blocking his ears.

"Are you..." Hati didn't finish. His voice came from in front of Fenris, instead of behind.

"I'm not a wolf." Fenris's voice cracked on the last word. He squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to act like a child in front of someone he wasn't even sure he could trust.

"No," Hati sighed. "That was the problem."

Hati's cold nose against his hand made Fenris flinch away. He scrambled to his feet, suddenly aware of Hati's proximity. Hati's ears flattened without him putting them backwards, and his tail was practically flat to the ground.

"Fen, wait-"

"Don't call me that!" This - _wolf_ didn't get to call him that like he _knew_ him. Fenris turned and _didn't_ run out of the destroyed clearing, he didn't. He just - didn't want to be there.

The snow felt like it was weighing down his feet, and Fenris kicked at it, part of him still furious and the rest of him just wanting things to _stop_ for a little bit. Something hot dripped down his cheek, and he swiped at it harshly. He wasn't going to cry. He was technically seven hundred and fifty-nine years old, and he was a Jotün son of Loki, and he was not going to cry, _damnit._

Fenris sat down, uncaring of the snow, and cried.

It took until he was hiccuping slightly and wishing he had something other than his scarf to wipe his nose on that he realized Hati was watching him, standing a generous distance away. Fenris just stared back. He'd had a long day - a long _week -_ and if Hati wanted to try something it would at least give Fenris something to _do._

"You went the wrong way," Hati muttered. He was crouching low to the ground, forehead furrowed and lips drawn back like he hadn't quite decided whether he wanted to be mean or not. "Your school's to the north."

Fenris hadn't really been paying attention to which direction he'd gone in. "I know which way it is," he said crossly.

"It's almost morning." How Hati can tell, Fenris didn't know, because the trees are so thick here there's not enough moonlight forcing its way down to do more than give the snow a soft glow.

"I can get back by myself." Fenris didn't want Hati following him, he didn't want an honor guard of someone he didn't remember who was only going to remind him of what he _knew,_ now.

Hati's teeth weren't visible anymore. "...Alright," he said reluctantly.

Fenris waited until Hati had retreated into the shadows to get up and start walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird that I ended up thinking about, like, how many bathrooms each dorm has and what Hogwarts' absence policy is?
> 
> Anyway....yikes
> 
> (BOY was this emotionally taxing to write) Comment, please!


	23. Coping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...yikes
> 
> Me, while writing this:...I wonder what Hogwarts' absence policy is like. It's gotta be a lot harder to skip school when you live there.
> 
> Honestly, though, that last chapter was a long time coming.
> 
> And hey, I promised fast updates once we got to the bits I really liked, didn't I?
> 
> I promise we'll get some nicer stuff soon, but honestly, the kind of stuff Fenris went through - nonconsensual transfiguration into a completely unfamiliar shape, for those of you who might not have gotten what I was trying to get across - does not result in nice, neat reactions. So here's this chapter, feat. Fenris's varied coping mechanisms.

Fenris slept in.

Lysander tried to shake him awake for classes, and Fenris raised the blanket enough to give Lysander a furious look before he huddled back under the covers. He wasn't sleeping, strictly speaking, but he was tired and in bed and that was close enough. He didn't care how many classes he missed.

Fenris was perfectly fine just staying here for the rest of his life.

Four hours seemed to be the longest people were willing to leave him be.

"Mother sent me to see where you were." Cold air seeping through the blanket announced Helena's presence long before she spoke. "If you're not ill, you're being a bit immature."

"I'm not going anywhere," Fenris said into his pillow, hiking the blanket up over his head. He left a tiny gap to breathe more easily through.

Helena huffed impatiently. "You're wasting a perfectly good education."

Yeah, like _that_ was going to get him out of bed. Fenris curled into a tighter ball and didn't answer.

"I'm _speaking_ to you."

Unfortunately. "I know," Fenris mumbled, recalcitrant.

"Well?"

"I'm tired."

Helena stuck her arm through the blanket, and Fenris hissed at the shock of cold on his leg, magic spiking out involuntarily. He wasn't sure if Helena pulled back quickly or was _pushed_ back.

He could tell she'd left, though. Fenris peeked out from under the blanket hesitantly. No silvery guests.

He pulled the hangings around his bed very firmly shut and went back under the blanket.

* * *

There was a memory he had - haha, funny, a memory he actually _remembered -_ from when he was really little.

He knew it was from a _long_ time ago because there was a dog in it. He vaguely remembered the dog, big to a tiny Fenris and...brown and white? He knew Jormungand had named it after somebody from Beowulf, but he couldn't remember exactly who.

His mother was in it, too. He remembered her, sitting by a big window with the dog at her feet, and there was a wind blowing through the room and making the curtains flutter. Fenris had sat down next to the dog because he was curious about it. Maybe he'd been too little to have figured out what a dog _was,_ but Fenris didn't think so.

It hadn't been very bright out, and at some point he'd had a little board game that Jormungand had brought up. They'd been playing, and then there was a great big crash, and Fenris had panicked because he didn't know what it was or where it had come from.

It was only a thunderstorm, but he was only ten (maybe) and sitting in a room with lots of open windows and the storm broke right over his house practically, that was a _perfectly_ reasonable reaction.

The dog had already beelined it out of the room, even though Fenris remembered him being pretty old at that point, and his mom had closed the windows and scooped him up and taken Jormungand's hand and taken them into hers and dad's room to wait it out.

Fenris had hidden under the covers then, but between his parents and Slepnir and Jormungand and the dog he hadn't needed heavy curtains to drag shut and block out the noise and light, or a pillow to hold on to like it was a stuffed animal or something.

Bedding was a poor substitute.

* * *

There was a fluttery noise, and a sudden bright presence next to the bed. Fenris shoved his head under his pillow.

Muriel knocked on the bedpost. Or maybe the wall. "Can I come in?"

Fenris didn't say anything.

The curtains inched open - he could _tell -_ and the mattress dipped under a solid weight. "Helena says you're pouting," she said. "I'm inclined to be skeptical."

Oh, joy, more talking. Why couldn't people just realized he wasn't in the mood?

"Bad day, huh," Muriel said, when he didn't reply. Fenris made a vague scoffing noise into the mattress. "You know, technically speaking, they don't work here, but I helped invent this place so I think I'm allowed to bend a few things to allow it. I've got a phone, if you want to call your dad."

The thought of talking to his dad hits Fenris like an ache. "...Yes."

Muriel's weight shifted, and there was a short silence, punctuated by a faint beep or two.

"It's me," Muriel said, a moment later, and paused. "No, nothing's happened. I think Fenris is just having an off day." She was quiet for a moment longer, and then tapped Fenris lightly on the back. "You're going to have to sit up so you don't accidentally press anything."

Stupid phones with their stupid sensitive screens. Fenris took his head out from under the pillow and stuck his hand out from underneath the blanket.

Muriel's phone was solid and rectangular and _very_ modern, but it had to work the same as their home one.

"Hi."

"Hey, Fen," Loki said breezily. "Bad day, huh? You wanna talk about it?"

"No." The mattress moved again as Muriel got up, her presence distancing somewhat, probably to give Fenris privacy (except she could probably still hear him).

"Okay." Loki didn't push. "You haven't missed much back here. Scully was briefly orange, but I think I'll let Slepnir tell that particular story. We watched a little bit of the X-Files, but I promise they were boring episodes. I'll watch 'em with you when you get home, if you want, it's not like I haven't seen most of 'em already. A rewatch or two isn't bad, you get to find all the little details. Hey, your break's in a week or so, right?"

"I guess." Fenris hadn't been paying attention to the time. He _hoped_ it was in a week.

"Good. Oh, hey, your birthday is this year, isn't it?" Loki's cheerful reminder jolted Fenris. Generally, they only celebrated birthdays every decade, as opposed to every year, otherwise it got a little monotonous. Given how Slepnir's last party had gone, it made his spirits rise a little. Modern sweets were much better than they used to be. "And Hel's, too. How opposed are you to a joint party?"

Fenris made a noncommittal sound.

"Look at you kids go, huh? Next thing I know you're all gonna be running around without me. Hey, remind me how old you're turning, your dad's getting old and forgetful."

"You are _not_." His dad never forgot _anything._

"Aw, humor me."

"Seven hundred and sixty," Fenris told him. "In March. _Before_ Hel."

"Hel's gonna be busy during hers, we'll celebrate early. You're just trying to get _two_ cakes out of this," Loki teased. "Sixty, huh? You're almost at the luckiest age."

"Which one?"

"777. Sevens are lucky, especially in combination."

"Is six unlucky?"

"No, that's a Christian superstition. Six is two threes, and threes are always good. You're good, kid. Hey, three sevens in 777! That's why it's so lucky," Loki reflected.

'Threes' made Fenris think of Lillian and Lysander, who he'd...basically ignored. For a week. They were probably mad at him.

"Dad."

"Yeah?"

"What if I don't ever get better?"

Loki's silence lingered on the other end of the phone for longer than Fenris was comfortable with. "That's fine, Fen," he said eventually. "We'll still be here for you no matter how many bad days you have. Okay?"

"But what if I hurt people?"

"What kind of hurt are we talking about? Are they bleeding?"

"...No."

"If they're your friends," Loki said, even though Fenris had said 'people' and not 'people whose opinions he cared about', "then they'll understand."

"They're human."

"Humans aren't stupid. Well, some of them are. But kids can be more understanding than most. They might want you to explain, but it's up to you how much you tell them."

"...I don't want to make them mad."

"If they get mad at you for having a bad day, they're not your friends."

Thanks, dad, that was _really_ helpful. "They _are._ "

"Then it'll turn out alright. Okay?"

"...Mm-hm."

"When you get back, you can pick something nice to do and we'll do it. Sound good?"

"Yeah."

"Make sure you're taking care of yourself, kid. Get enough sleep and stuff like that. Maybe go somewhere nice and sunny to relax for a little bit."

"Okay." Ha. Leaving the dorm meant walking through a room full of other, curious students - that wasn't happening today.

"I'm serious."

"Okay," Fenris repeated, with zero intention of getting out of bed.

"Do you want me to stay on the phone?"

"Yes."

"Alright, I can do that."

* * *

Fenris probably dozed for a little while after he had to give Muriel her phone back (the battery had started beeping warning noises at him). Either that, or his brain had started giving him random snippets of memory while he was awake that faded as quickly as they did in dreams, which Fenris was not even going to contemplate the possibility of right now.

He woke up from Nightmare Slash Possible Memory #3 in time to allow himself an hour of convincing himself that there was nothing tying him down before his dormmates came back, chatting and generally making a lot of noise.

"Is he still in there?" Oh, fun, they were talking about _him_ now.

"Lay off," Lysander said, voice muffled through the curtains and blanket blocking Fenris from the rest of them.

"I'm just saying-"

"Stop saying, then. Don't you have homework? You haven't turned anything in for the last two weeks in Transfiguration."

The other boys _ooohed_ like Lysander had said something witty and cunning. Fenris didn't understand modern humans at all.

They talked quieter after that, though. Fenris didn't hear Lysander again, other than a thump from the vague direction of Lysander's bed. Fenris stewed over the possible implications until James said, in surprise, "Hey, what's she doing here?"

"I can go where I like," a voice said that was clearly Lillian's. What _was_ she doing here? "I thought Hufflepuff was supposed to be the _friendly_ house."

"Don't mind him," Lysander said. A moment later there was a gentle tap on one of the posts on Fenris's bed. "Hey, Fabian? I didn't see you in the Great Hall so I brought food."

Fenris was suddenly aware that he was really, really hungry.

He resigned himself to interacting with more people and opened the curtains a crack.

Fenris had to scoot into a sitting position to make room for both the twins, but he kept the blanket wrapped around himself. Lillian closed the curtains behind her. Light still filtered through them, through some working that still allowed them to be thick enough to muffle the faint noise outside.

"This is an intervention because you've been moping all week," Lillian said.

"It's not an _intervention,_ " Lysander amended.

"I'm intervening anyway," Lillian replied. Fenris didn't say anything, because his mouth was full of one of the rolls Lysander had brought. There was another in his hand. They were still warm and a little buttery.

It tasted like an offering. Fenris wasn't sure he wanted that from Lysander, but he _was_ hungry.

Lillian kept talking. "I was busy with homework and then when I finally get to talk to you two again, this happens! I should have been in Hufflepuff too so I could stop you from doing anything stupid."

Lysander rolled his eyes. Fenris took two more rolls and pulled the blanket lower over his face.

"Hey, wait. I didn't mean it like that," Lillian protested. "C'mon, I haven't been able to talk to you in ages."

Fenris _really_ wasn't in the mood to talk. He didn't want to take the blanket off, even if he _was_ getting a little hot. The rolls were nice, though. One of them had cheese and some kind of meat in it.

"Are you feeling better?" Lysander asked, when it became apparent that Fenris wasn't going to say anything. "From earlier, I mean. You seemed mad this morning."

Fenris remembered how curt he'd been to Lysander. "No," he said, honestly.

Lillian appeared to be waiting for him to continue. When he didn't, she said, "Well, _I'm_ gonna talk if you're not.I actually heard something interesting in History of Magic and managed to stay awake for a little bit to listen."

Lillian, true to form, turned a snippet of information into a long-winded tale that skipped over three different topics that seemed like they shouldn't really fit together. Fenris gave up trying to follow it at some point and, eventually, gave into the general result of a full stomach and a week of sleepless nights; he dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll assume you were too busy going 'oh shit' last chapter to comment, but leave one now, please?


	24. Winter Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the twins, but I feel like I don't entirely have their characters down yet...
> 
> This chapter's a little more humorous than the last, but not entirely; just some funnier bits feat. Fenris and his misunderstanding of modern politics.

* * *

He didn't stop dreaming. Or remembering - whichever one it was. Maybe it was both.

Remembering wasn't easy. It didn't come any easier than it had before, and it had been a week since Fenris had spoken to Hati - a week for his mind to calm down and stop trying to place Hati, stop trying to ruffle through forgotten things to find where he was.

But dreams were worse, sometimes, because things got shaken out and then put back away before he could remember them or process what had happened to him and he just ended up scared without knowing what he was scared of.

None of that stopped, in the weeks leading up to winter break, and Fenris didn't stop being scared of them.

But he turned up in the Great Hall every morning, even if he was only going to go back to the dorm afterwards, and Lysander pushed food at him and Fenris let him leave those tiny offerings even though he _knew_ Lysander didn't understand what he was doing.

Sometimes it was the little extra burst of power, the evidence of belief, that got him to stay out of bed.

* * *

Their last day before winter break, Lysander showed him where the kitchens were.

"In case you ever need to get food," he said. "Also I think it's like, a ritual that every Hufflepuff figures out where the kitchens are at some point, they're so close by and everybody seems to know."

Fenris led Lysander lead him down the hall to a painting that was as large as a tapestry, but all it showed was a larger-than-life bowl of fruit. Lysander scratched gently at a green one, close to the bottom, and it twitched and - giggled? - and a green handle popped out of it.

Lysander turned it and pulled, and the painting swung open.

The kitchen was a huge room laid out the same way as the Great Hall and about the same size, with four big identical tables, and absolutely _swarming_ with tiny...goblins?

"House elves," Lysander said, catching Fenris's confused look. "They're the ones who make the food."

"Can I be getting yous anything, sir?" One house elf chirped, scurrying over to them. Fenris stared curiously. They didn't look much like elves. And there were hundreds of them, and there was a lot of noise, so Fenris didn't ask for the rolls with stuff in them and instead just backed out of the kitchen and went to find somewhere quiet.

Lillian found him in the library, sitting on top of a table. "Don't let Madam Pince see you like that," she said. "Where's Lysander?"

"I dunno," said Fenris, with the uncomfortable feeling that he'd left Lysander in the metaphorical dust. "He was trying to show me the kitchens and I - it was really loud. And - full of them."

Lillian sat down at the table, propping her chin on her hands. "You can _tell_ him when you're uncomfortable."

Fenris shrugged.

"Do you not like talking?"

"I dunno." Sometimes he just didn't want to.

Lillian sat back and took a deep breath. "It's okay if you don't want to talk," she said. "I didn't talk at all when I was little. I didn't like doing it and Lysander didn't care, so I just didn't. And I figured out a way to show Lysander if I wanted something so he could tell people, so it wasn't like I was isolating myself or anything. But people didn't like that I was so quiet and they kept saying I was just throwing a fit or sick or something and I'd start talking eventually. And it was really stupid because if they'd just waited I probably would have started talking again a lot earlier. But if you don't want to talk you can just zip your lips or something and we won't make you."

"...Zip my lips?"

Lillian ran her thumb and forefinger across her mouth. "Like that." Fenris supposed he could see how it could look a little like zipping a jacket up, but it was a weird picture.

"Okay." Fenris crossed his arms and rested his head on them. The library was mostly quiet, but it had bright lamps and there was a group of students chatting an aisle over, so it was a good balance. People weren't trying to talk to him, but he wasn't alone either.

"Can you move your feet? I need to do my essay."

Fenris shuffled backwards. Lillian spread out parchment and her inkwell and quill.

"Why did you start talking again?" Fenris asked, before she started writing. It was hard to picture Lillian, of all people, staying quiet for any period of time.

Lillian grinned up at him. "People started approving when I stayed quiet," she told him. "And I started having things to say."

* * *

Lysander found them on the train platform, even in the rush of everybody boarding to go home for two weeks.

" _There_ you are," Lillian said, and dragged him to her side so they wouldn't get lost in the crowd. It looked mostly like a headlock, which would explain Lysander's expression. "C'mon, we need to get a good compartment."

The three of them beat a couple of Ravenclaws to an empty compartment near the front, so they'd be first off the train when it pulled into King's Cross. Lysander extricated himself from Lillian's grip and revealed the contents of the little cloth wrap he'd brought; rolls, kept warm enough to steam by some house-elf enchantment on the fabric bag.

"Should we save them?" He asked, looking between Fenris and Lillian. "It'll be hours before we get back to London."

"They sell food on the train," Lillian pointed out.

"Save them," Fenris said, but he took one from the bag before Lysander put it away. It split easily into three pieces.

"I saw some students with a Quibbler this morning," Lillian said, and then stuffed the whole piece into her mouth.

"What's a Quibbler?" Fenris asked.

"A magazine," Lysander said. Lillian nodded. "Mum helps Granddad run it, because he's too old to go and find information himself. It's a little weird."

"Granddad's a little weird," Lillian added, spraying crumbs.

"Ew, Lillian."

"What? I didn't get any on you." Lillian brushed off her robes. "Anyway, he _is._ He's still got that big horn on his wall even though it almost blew up once."

"That's not true," Lysander said. "It only _might_ have blown up."

"What," Fenris said.

"Granddad had an argument with somebody over what kind of horn he had mounted," Lysander said. "I don't think anybody ever won, though."

Humans were weird. Wizards were, apparently, even weirder.

Lillian brought up an argument she'd overheard at Slytherin table, and she and Lysander went back and forth over it and managed to occupy themselves until the sun started threatening to sink below the horizon.

"I just don't get why the Minister's so important," Lillian said, as Lysander got down the little cloth wrap of rolls. It smelled _great_ when he untied it. "I mean, the Wizengamot can get rid of him if he starts acting like a jerk."

"It's not that easy," Lysander said. "They have to all agree on it, first off."

"Why do you have an entire group devoted to overthrowing one minister?" Fenris asked. He hadn't wanted to interrupt and ask what the Wizengamot was, or what it did, but he thought he had a pretty clear idea.

"It's not overthrowing him, just removing him from office," Lillian said. "And they do other stuff, too. Like Muggle Parliament."

Fenris thought he might have heard of Parliament, but he wasn't sure. "It _sounds_ like overthrowing. Can't you just appeal to the Queen?"

"The Queen's Muggle," Lysander said. "And Muggles have their _own_ Minister, too. I'm not sure if the Queen actually does anything anymore."

Fenris stared. "She's the _Queen._ "

"Yeah, but the Minister runs things." Lysander seemed oblivious to the problem.

"Her _Minister_ runs everything?"

"The Prime Minister isn't the _Queen's_ minister," Lillian said, sounding exasperated. "He's...he runs himself. People vote for him."

"They just pick someone at random to run the country?" Fenris wasn't stupid, he knew what voting was. Even if it had never been used to elect an Emperor or anything like that.

"Not at random," Lysander said. "They have to announce themselves and stuff, and then people pick from like, two or three people."

"Who came up with _that?_ " Fenris asked, bewildered. When he'd heard there was still a Queen of England he'd thought all that had mostly stayed the _same._

"America, probably," Lillian said, and Lysander nodded agreement. "Or at least they were the first to do it."

"Huh." At a loss, Fenris took another roll to distract himself.

"I thought you were only fifty," Lillian said. "How come you don't know what a Minister is?"

Whoops.

"...Fifty-five," Fenris said, remembering the not-lie, and not at all cleverly dodging the topic.

"Whatever, I was close. But the Minister's been around for longer than that."

The sun was really starting to set. It was turning the sky a really nice orange-y pink.

"...Did you lie?"

"No," Fenris said quickly. Neither of the twins looked convinced. "I _didn't._ It's...complicated."

Lillian crossed her arms. "How complicated?"

"Very."

"That isn't an answer."

"Says _who?_ " Fenris said defensively.

"You're not _explaining_ anything."

"I don't _have_ to if I don't-" But she'd told him about when she was a kid and didn't like talking. That was a personal thing. Though not anything like what had happened to Fenris.

Fenris looked out the window again, away from the twins.

"A thing happened to me," he said, and Lillian, reflected in the glass, shut her mouth quickly. "A long time ago. And eventually the - the magic got undone, but I don't remember anything that happened while it - while I _was -_ you know."

Neither of the twins said anything. Fenris could see them looking at each other apprehensively.

"So it wasn't a lie," Fenris said. "I - _technically_ I'm older, I guess. I don't feel older. I _look_ about the age I would have been when I was actually fifty-five. I just said that because that's all I remember." He was still very firmly looking out the window, and made himself look past their reflections and out at the scenery whizzing past. There were lots of bushes and open fields. He wished wind wasn't an issue, so he could open the window.

"So," Lysander said, tentatively, "how old are you counting what you _don't_ remember?"

"...Seven hundred and fifty-eight."

Lillian sputtered something incomprehensible. Lysander didn't seem to know how to respond.

"That's-!" Lillian said.

"I know what it adds up to," Fenris snapped. He knew perfectly well how much he'd missed, thanks for the reminder.

"I was just gonna say that you're really old."

Lysander snorted. Fenris cautiously glanced away from the window.

"So was there a Queen or something when you were little?" Lillian asked.

"Emperor," Fenris said, only hesitating for a moment before deciding it was a safe enough topic.

" _Emperor?_ What, like Rome or something?"

"Rome fell a _long_ time before anybody in my family was born," Fenris told her. "Except dad. He's been around forever."

"Okay, so who was this emperor in charge of?"

Fenris shrugged. "They called themselves Romans, but they really weren't. It was just what was left of that empire. Dad says they call it Byzantine now."

"I've never heard of them," Lysander said, looking fascinated.

"They weren't wizards, I don't think Binns would mention them." At least, Fenris didn't _think_ they were wizards. It had been on a different World Tree, anyway, not this one with Hogwarts' kind of magic. The emperors Fenris remembered might have never existed here.

...That was weird to think about.

"How were they Romans if it wasn't Rome?" Lillian questioned.

"It used to be," Fenris said, remembering his dad talking to an enthralled Slepnir about Roman history. "But it was so big they divided it up between two people and then one half fell and the other emperor kept ruling his half. And it became different because they were more Greek. So it didn't count as Roman. They decided that later, though." The internet said 1517, or something like that, which was stupid, but the Byzantine world really _hadn't_ been very Roman. They hadn't even spoken Latin.

Lillian kept pestering Fenris with questions until the sky outside started darkening, at which point she and Lysander got caught up in a debate over whether Greek or Latin was cooler (Lysander was of the opinion that if Greek was so cool, why didn't they say spells in Greek, hm) which lasted until it was black as pitch outside and the train was pulling into the station.

Fenris practically leaped off the train. There was a clamoring crowd of people all trying to find their kids, and a security guard letting students through to the regular side a few at a time, and-

And a tiny, patchy black-and-white terrier with her tail wagging madly, dashing up to him.

"Scully!" She barely stood still long enough for Fenris to pick her up. She was wearing her leash harness, so Loki had to have brought her with him, except where was _he?_

"Why do you have a dog?" Lillian asked, hopping off the train and onto the platform behind him.

"She's mine," Fenris said. "My dad must've-"

"Been dragged out of the house behind her?" A voice suggested dryly. Loki appeared from between two precarious stacks of trunks, grinning. "I don't know if she was more excited about all the new people or finding you." He was holding the unattached leash, which answered one question.

Fenris had to put Scully down so he could hug Loki. Loki squeezed him close, and then leaned down awkwardly to clip the leash back onto Scully's harness. "Given that you're all here, I take it nobody died of boredom on the way home."

Fenris couldn't help but snort.

"Are you wearing earrings?" Lillian asked.

Fenris looked at Lillian, then back at Loki. His dad _was_ wearing earrings, but he didn't see why that warranted such a curious comment.

"Yep," Loki said cheerfully, tapping one of the small hoops and making it shake a little.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Lillian looked thoughtful, then shrugged.

"Exactly," Loki said. "Now all of you, c'mon, I left Luna talking with an old professor and if you two don't show up she'll probably be there all day."

The twins trailed behind Fenris warily as he followed his dad. Luna was leaning up against the wall, talking to a shabby-looking man with greyish hair who seemed to be mostly nodding and making agreeable noises.

Lillian grabbed Fenris's arm and made a very high-pitched noise in the back of her throat when she saw Teddy Lupin standing next to the man, looking confused and fidgeting like he was _very_ ready to be somewhere else.

"Oh there you are!" Luna said, noticing the twins, while Fenris hurriedly detached Lillian. "Thanks, Loki." Fenris also didn't miss how the other man looked up sharply when Luna said 'Loki'.

"No prob," Loki said. "Scully found 'em first, anyway."

"Your dog?" Teddy asked. "Can I pet him?" His hair had gone from having yellow-ish tips to bright yellow all the way through right in front of Fenris, which was weird, but explained why it had been a different color every time Fenris had seen him. Maybe it was a weird kind of wizard magic.

"Her. Go ahead," Loki said. Teddy knelt down and reached out a hand, which Scully took as explicit permission to lick as much exposed skin as possible, and did so eagerly.

"I didn't know you would be here," the man - Teddy's dad? - said to Loki, something like wariness lurking in his expression.

"There's only one train," Loki said, with a grin like they were sharing an inside joke.

"Fabian's in Hufflepuff too," Teddy said, scratching Scully behind her ears and making her nearly vibrate, she was wagging her tail so hard.

"We may need some non-Hufflepuffs to show up soon," Luna said, "or else Lillian won't have anybody to relate to."

"That's not going to help if it's a bunch of _Gryffindors_ that show up," Lillian protested.

"I was a Gryffindor," Teddy's dad said.

"I don't think it counts, Remus," Luna said. "You were at Hogwarts a long time ago."

"Not that long ago," Remus said, sounding disgruntled.

"Once mom and Harriet show up Lillian'll be even _more_ outnumbered," Teddy said, standing up. Lillian went wide-eyed.

"Oh, I didn't know you were both here," Luna said, far calmer than Lillian appeared to be.

"Tonks went to find Harriet," Remus said. Up close, Fenris could see off crisscrossing scars on his face. They looked a bit clawlike, but a few were far neater and darker than the rest. "She - Harriet generally ends up talking to friends for hours. I think she'd leave and go home with them to keep a conversation going."

"She'd come home for Hanukkah," Teddy objected.

"You're Jewish?" Loki asked, sounding surprised.

"Tonks' family is." Remus glanced around as if looking for them.

"What's Hanukkah?" Lysander asked.

"It's a religious holiday," Teddy told him.

"However fascinating this is," Loki said, "I've promised the rest of my kids that I'd get Fenris home in a reasonable amount of time, so..." he gave Luna a flippant sort of salute. "You're welcome over anytime."

"I'll keep that in mind," Luna said, and Loki scooped up Scully and put a hand on Fenris's shoulder, and the station was vanishing, replaced by the familiar view of the front of the house.

"I didn't know you met Teddy's dad before," Fenris said, as Loki put Scully back down and unclipped the leash. Scully promptly darted off to start exploring the hedge.

"One or twice," Loki said airily, snapping his fingers. The door unlocked with a click, and swung open. Loki dragged in Fenris's trunk - that was funny, Fenris didn't remember finding it before they left - and dropped it on the floor just inside the door. "Scully, come!"

Scully shot inside, claws skittering on the floor, with a couple exuberant yaps. Fenris closed the door behind himself, nearly tripped over Scully, and managed to _not_ stub his toes on his trunk.

"Feeling better today?" Loki asked, pausing to look back at Fenris.

"Yeah," Fenris said. For once, he wasn't lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Tonkses are Jewish and you can pry that headcanon out of my cold, dead hands :) (I don't see Lupin as a convert, really - the magical world doesn't seem particularly religious aside from celebrating Christmas, but that's a very mainstream holiday now - but he participates in Shabbat, etc, and is okay with letting Teddy and Hariet be raised Jewish).
> 
> (I'm not really sure if you have to convert or not, if you marry someone Jewish, according to Jewish law...I'll let you know if I get an answer)
> 
> Comment, please!


	25. Winter Break (Reprise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm not good at chapter titles and I wrote this one around Tonys season, so cut me some slack here.
> 
> More fluff! I don't know how soon things might go downhill, but they undoubtedly will :) Just so u know :) Because I'm nice like that :)
> 
> Also, a bit of modern-day mythology enters the scene! I feel like I need to make this place a little more casually magical (and Hermes' snakes may or may not be named after the PJO version, sshh, I'm allowed).
> 
> I'm abusing both Wikipedia and Google Translate for anything that's not in English, as a warning, so if anybody notices a mistake feel free to let me know (also, if you put these translations into Google Translate and translate to English, you will not get what I said it means. Fair warning). Translations for the full sentences (etc) are below :)
> 
> Modern Greek (Demotic Greek) hasn't changed that much since medieval times (aka, the last time Fenris spoke Greek regularly) so since a modern speaker can probably muddle their way through an ancient text, I assumed the opposite was probably also true. There is still room for misinterpretation, but hey, it's been a couple centuries!
> 
> Ceryceum/κηρύκειον (kērukeion) - caduceus
> 
> Aut quod est malum in lingua? - Or is that the wrong ancient language?
> 
> πρόστιμο, έχετε το δικό σας τρόπο (próstimo, échete to dikó sas trópo) - fine, have it your way.
> 
> περισσότερο (perissótero) - more

"So when's _Sigyn_ coming back?" Fenris asked, when he came downstairs and found Muriel at the table.

Muriel just raised her eyebrows and took a long sip from her teacup, clearly avoiding any semblance of being responsible for answering.

"Why does Muriel being here mean Sigyn's coming?" Loki questioned, leaning against the counter.

"Muriel's never here," Fenris pointed out. "And it's the _solstice_ , Sigyn usually comes for holidays."

"I thought you celebrated Christmas, too?" Muriel turned towards Loki, who shrugged.

"We did, because it was fun and they got presents out of it. They got bored of it sometime around when I mentioned it was mostly a Christian thing."

"No offense," Fenris added.

"I've never actually celebrated it myself, so none taken," Muriel replied. "Where's everybody else?"

"This is an unusually early time for _anybody_ to be awake," Loki said, giving Fenris a sidelong glance.

"Can I have pancakes?" Fenris asked, forgoing any explanation of why he was up at seven when normally they slept in as long as possible. It wasn't that he'd had a nightmare. He just may have possibly never gone to sleep.

"Sure."

Fenris took his time eating. Muriel left the kitchen before Loki had finished cooking - her presence explained the parchment scattered over the table in the middle room, at least - and Adam wandered in and then back out, only staying for the amount of time necessary to make coffee. Everyone usually living somewhere else seemed to have reappeared for winter break.

"What does Adam even _do_ at college?" Fenris wondered aloud, mouth half-full of pancake.

"Something in medicine," Loki said. "I didn't ask, I just offered to trick the finance office into thinking he had a full scholarship. D'you think if I took some of these upstairs I could lure your brothers out to have some?"

"Maybe Slepnir." However much Jormungand liked pancakes, he was the _heaviest_ sleeper. He'd slept through a thunderstorm once. "They'll wake up eventually."

Loki shrugged, which probably meant he agreed. "If they're not awake by the time Hel gets here, I'm recruiting you to help me get them out of bed."

"Hel's coming?"

"Duh, she only comes every year." Loki said teasingly. "I think you're still a half-asleep."

"I didn't know she was coming _today_ ," Fenris said. Hel was unpredictable, and generally subject to whatever needed her attention in her realm. She never arrived anywhere on time, and never _went_ anywhere often.

And if she was going to be home, then that meant there was someone other than his dad that Fenris could ask about...well.

"She might not be," Loki said, which was more what Fenris had expected. "But she promised to try her best to make it, so we'll see,"

"Scully is staring at me like she wants my coffee," Adam shouted in from the dining room. "Does she need to be fed or something?"

"Probably," Loki called back, rising from his chair. "Scully, stop bothering Adam, you can't drink coffee anyway." He opened the slightly creaky cabinet they kept the dog food in - it was only creaky because the slight noise was enough to signal to Scully that she was about to be fed. Sure enough, there was a skittering noise and Scully was sitting next to Loki expectantly in a second.

"You're so predictable," Loki said to her, fondly. Fenris went back to his pancakes, to the accompaniment of the bag rustling and then Scully noisily crunching kibble.

Hermes drifted in without seeming to realize where he was going, except he took a seat and didn't fall while also not once looking up from his phone. Or taking his hands off it. Fenris hadn't known people could type that fast.

...Was his phone case hissing?

Hermes frowned, obviously noticing the same thing. "Stop that," he said sharply, turning his phone over, and Fenris saw the colorful design of twined snakes writhing irritably. The hissing got noticeably louder.

"Are they complaining again?" Loki propped his feet up on the empty chair.

"Oh!" Fenris dropped his pancake and pointed at the phone. "Those are _those_ snakes!" He hadn't recognized them when they were, well, art. He'd thought it was the phone that was the source of the odd magical air that lingered around it. Actually, it might have been that and whatever enchantment was keeping them on the case. "Don't they mind?"

"Not normally," Hermes said, giving the case a pointed look. "They just like eating food even though they don't need it."

"I don't mind," Loki said, "you know that." Then he glanced at Fenris, as if belatedly realizing that he wasn't the only other person in the room.

"Can snakes eat pancakes?" Fenris asked.

"They're not picky," Hermes said dryly, dropping his phone onto the table. The snakes coiled and bulged, sliding out of it with a scaly rasp. Fenris lifted his plate off the table - he had five siblings, he knew better than to assume nobody would try and sneak any of his food.

"Aw," one complained, disentangling itself from the other. "I'm hungry."

"You don't eat, Martha," Hermes said, with a long-suffering air.

"Says you," the other one said sulkily. "Maybe we do and you're just being mean."

Hermes rolled his eyes. Loki threw a pancake at the two snakes, who immediately got all tangled up again trying to be the first to grab it.

"You two are hopeless and I hope you know that," Hermes told them, sticking his hand in between them fearlessly to separate them. Fenris mopped up a little syrup with the pancake he had left and stuck the whole thing in his mouth. He got the feeling it wouldn't be smart to leave anything edible unattended around those two.

"So have you officially ditched the caduceus, or is that always gonna be your thing?" Loki asked, grinning at Hermes.

"As if anyone's ever going to stop associating that with me," Hermes replied distractedly.

"The what?" Fenris asked, putting his plate down and quickly snatching his hand back when one of the snakes darted over to investigate.

"Stop it!" Hermes warned them, and then answered Fenris. "You know, my staff. My κηρύκειον."

"Ohh." Was it weird, Fenris wondered, that he recognized the Greek word for it, but not the English one? Probably not; he'd spoken Greek first. Well, before he'd learned English, at least.

"Ceryceum?" Loki suggested with a grin. "Aut quod est malum in lingua?"

Hermes pulled a face. "No Latin, please."

"πρόστιμο, έχετε το δικό σας τρόπο." Loki rolled his eyes. Fenris frowned; Greek sounded different than he remembered, though it still made sense, sort of. "What language do you prefer, then?"

"If you're going to turn this into a competition, I get the feeling I'm not allowed to pick."

"Competition?" Loki put a hand over his heart as if in deadly shock. "I can't believe you'd imply-"

"That word does not mean what you think it means-"

"Oh, we're doing Princess Bride references now?" Loki threw another pancake at the pair of snakes. "I can't even tell which of them is which."

"I'm George," one of them said, through a mouthful of pancake.

"περισσότερο!" Martha said insistently. "περισσότερο, περισσότερο."

"Greedy," Hermes replied, but he flicked his fingers and a plate slid over from the counter.

"I was gonna save those," Loki complained, without a trace of actually being upset.

"Should have said something, then."

"I just did!" Loki laughed. "Some friend you are, stealing all my food, covering my table in snakes."

The doorbell rang. Neither of them seemed to notice, bickering without any real heat, so Fenris sidled out of the room to answer it.

The fact that Scully wasn't waiting to see who it was gave Fenris enough of a clue to guess. He threw open the door with a grin. "Hi!"

"Hello to you too," Hel said, stepping inside and shedding her cloak.

"Dad said you might be late."

"Luckily, I thought ahead this time." Hel grinned at him, flinging her cloak into the closet. She was wearing a glamour again, face identical on both sides and everything else covered up. She didn't take her gloves off.

"Did you know Hermes's snakes were on his phone?" Fenris asked. "They got all mad because they wanted food."

"That would explain the case," Hel said. "I thought he'd just bought it because it reminded him of them."

"I thought it was the _phone_ that was magic this whole time."

"I don't doubt that his phone's magic too. Where's dad?"

"In the kitchen. So are the snakes." Fenris followed Hel down the hall, glancing into the living room as she stuck her head into the kitchen. Narvi was sprawled out on the sofa, watching something that was playing too softly for Fenris to make out.

"Hey," Hel said.

"Sup?" Loki replied. "I wasn't expecting you so early."

"So I've heard."

"Who's that?" Martha piped up. Fenris could see both snakes curled in lazy piles on the table.

"Hel, don't you remember her?" Hermes asked.

"I don't think we've actually met," Hel said. "Though I've heard of them. Dad mentioned you a couple times."

"A couple times, huh?" Hermes raised his eyebrows at Loki.

"What, you think my priority when talking to her was you? Give me a break, you egomaniac."

"You what?" Fenris was pretty sure Loki had never used that last word ever before.

"Him." Loki jerked a thumb at Hermes, grinning broadly.

"How 'bout you come up to my room with me," Hel said, rolling her eyes and gently pushing Fenris towards the stairs. "I could use the company."

"It's not like you brought anything with you to take upstairs," Fenris said, but he trailed after Hel as she strode towards the stairs at the back of the house.

"Hel," he began, and she paused at the top of the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"...Nothing."

Hel gave him a look that said _yeah right_ , but only said, "So, why don't you catch me up on what I missed?"

Hel's room didn't have much stuff in it, since she wasn't there often, but the desk was covered in little touristy trinkets that Fenris really didn't see the point of. He sat on the bed and talked while she cleared dust off things, not that there was much of it to begin with.

"And you're feeling better?" She asked, when Fenris ran out of things to say.

"What?"

"Dad told me about the incident with Tyr."

"Oh," Fenris said. "Well, yeah. I thought you didn't know."

"I did."

"You didn't come by." Fenris tried not to sound accusing.

"Yes," Hel said dryly, "because when a family member is horribly sick, the perfect solution is to have a death goddess come by."

"I wasn't _that_ bad," Fenris protested. "And you know what you're doing."

"I can't always control how my presence affects people." Hel busied herself brushing a few invisible specks off a tiny metal pyramid. "At least it's behind us, anyway."

"Tyr is," Fenris muttered.

Hel put the pyramid down. "Something you'd like to say?"

"...Not really."

"Uh huh." Hel crossed the room and sat next to him, the bed sinking under her weight.

"You don't really need gloves in your own room," Fenris said, rapidly trying to deflect the path of the conversation.

"I'd rather keep them on," Hel said, undeterred. 

"I should go see if Jor or Slepnir's awake, they'll want to say hi," Fenris said, and slid off the bed, mentally cursing himself for losing his nerve. Hel didn't stop him from leaving the room, but he could tell she was watching him.

Maybe another time, he'd ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hel reappears, because she's great and I have _not_ been giving her enough page space. Review, please!


	26. Reluctance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note! If you haven't noticed yet, I made a tumblr for this series! Check stuff out @thevesselverse :) Mostly it's links to new chapters and fancasts for characters, but there will be art (when I have time) and teasers for stuff that hasn't been posted yet!
> 
> Important plot stuff is happening that will potentially be relevant later, so pay attention to this one!
> 
> As a reminder, italics = people speaking Old Norse

Loki looked at the clock after the fourth round of what probably counted as at least an _attempt_ at Game Night, and said, "Whoops."

"I've been waiting for you to realize how late it was for the past three hours," Hermes commented from his position on the sofa, the snakes restored to their stylized position on his phone.

"We can't stop _now,_ " Slepnir protested.

"You're only saying that because you're _winning,_ " Jormungand grumbled.

" _You're_ biased since you're losing."

"What game are we even playing anymore?" Loki questioned, putting his cards down. "I have a hand with a blue three, two aces, a queen, and a 'Sorry' card. Which one of you mixed up the boxes?"

"Who said it was _us?_ "

"You're the one who set the couch on fire," Jormungand pointed out.

"That doesn't _count,_ that was _years ago,_ " Slepnir said, aggravated.

"Admittedly, worse things have happened to that couch," Loki mused.

"Like what?" Hermes asked incredulously.

"Use your imagination, it'll probably be nothing worse than anything you can come up with." Loki dropped his cards into the box. "We should _maybe_ consider putting this game, whatever the hell it is, on pause-"

" _Noooo,_ " Slepnir groaned.

"It is almost midnight, I have to keep up _some_ kind of responsible parenting," Loki replied.

"You just want to know who has the joker card," Slepnir said sulkily, but he tossed his cards down too. Jormungand stopped pretending to be subtle and picked them up to see which one's he'd had.

"Yeah, yeah." Loki pointed towards the hallway. "I'll clean up. If all three of you are in bed before I make it upstairs, I'll tell a story."

Fenris, who was not playing, perked up slightly.

"We get to pick," Jormungand said immediately.

"Don't you always pick?" Loki was grinning as he flapped his hands at them. "Go. And don't just jump straight into bed, because that doesn't count!" He had to call after them, because Jormungand was already tugging Fenris into the hallway by his shirt, and Slepnir had darted ahead of them, making for the stairs.

Fenris didn't feel like running, but he kept pace with Jormungand until they all tumbled into the bedroom. Scully, already in _her_ bed, looked up sharply with a curious _whuff._

"Dibs on the bathroom first!" Slepnir practically sprinted for the bathroom door.

"All you're doing is brushing your teeth!" Jormungand shouted after him. "What do you need _privacy_ for?" Scully barked loudly, shouting with him. Fenris petted her to make her calm down.

"I have to _change,_ " Slepnir said, voice muffled by the now-closed bathroom door.

"Your clothes are out here!"

"...Can you hand me my pajamas?"

* * *

When the door creaked open, all three of them looked up expectantly.

" _Impressive_ ," Loki said in Norse, kicking the door shut behind him. " _You're all actually in bed._ " The covers had been pushed down and only about half of the pillows were where they were supposed to be, but they were all definitely on the bed. Scully had curled up in hers again, and if she wasn't asleep she was ignoring any noises they made.

" _Slepnir's still wearing socks,_ " Jormungand said.

" _I can wear socks if I want,_ " Slepnir argued petulantly, reaching over Fenris to poke Jormungand.

" _Socks in bed are questionable, but I'll allow it,_ " Loki said, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. He wasn't wearing his jacket, which meant _he_ was going to sleep, too.

" _You promised a story_ ," Fenris said, softly.

" _I did,_ " Loki agreed. Slepnir scooted out of the way to let Loki take his usual spot in the middle of the three of them. " _Any demands?_ "

" _I want an America story,_ " Slepnir said. Fenris shoved himself close to Loki, under his dad's arm and snug against his chest.

" _America, huh?_ "

" _Something cool,_ " Jormungand said imperiously.

Loki laughed. " _I'm always cool._ "

" _No you're not._ "

" _Don't be rude to the storyteller._ " Loki reached over to ruffle Jormungand's hair, not that it could really get any messier. " _Now gimme a minute to think of a good one._ "

Fenris could hear Loki's heartbeat, with his ear pressed against his dad's chest. It beat with the same even tempo that Loki breathed, chest rising and falling and moving Fenris's head along with it.

Fenris, who had been on a strange kind of edge for no reason at all for most of the day, felt his own heartbeat begin to calm down.

" _Alright,_ " Loki said eventually, " _I've got one._ " He flicked a hand in the approximate direction of the light switch, and the lights obligingly dimmed. " _So, a long time ago-_ "

 _"How long?_ " Slepnir interrupted.

" _Oh boy. Uh, three hundred years? Something like that._ "

" _Where in America?_ "

" _Nowhere in particular,_ " Loki said flippantly. " _Are you going to keep asking questions, or can I tell this story?_ "

Slepnir settled down in a very pointed way, using his feet to pull the covers up, and looked at Loki expectantly - or at least Fenris assumed he did, he couldn't see Slepnir's face from this position. " _Go ahead._ "

Fenris closed his eyes as he felt Loki breathe in. " _As you all hopefully know,_ " Loki said, " _there was a guy, a while back, who sailed across an ocean and found an extra continent or two in his way, and him and the rest of his continent proceeded to exploit it as much as possible. Taking resources, gold, all that, but mostly they sent people over to live there._

" _Some people went willingly. Some were soldiers following their explorer bosses, some were there for religious purposes - you know Christians, very taken up with saving the souls of people who already have perfectly good gods - and some people came over to make money off of the new world. But mostly people came to escape whatever they had waiting back home, or they were sent over as punishment._

" _It was a punishment, back then. America was mostly wilderness and people who spoke different languages than the Europeans. I thought it was ridiculous at the time, all these people just strolling in like they owned the place. 'Course I was occupied at the time and half a world away. Definitely too busy to go take a look._

" _The thing was, though, that all these people coming over and settling - well, squatting, more like - brought more than just things with them. They brought their beliefs, too._ "

Loki paused, like he was settling in for a dramatic bit. He was very good at telling stories, especially when he told them in a way that made Fenris fall asleep before his dad got to the end, but this one was too interesting.

Besides, if he fell asleep...

" _The thing is_ ," Loki said softly, " _we are very much grounded in belief._ "

He'd told them that, before. He'd said it a lot. But gods never really _needed_ to be told that.

" _No one actually left the realms we came from,_ " Loki said. " _We stayed where we came from. But not all our followers did, and they took little things with them - practices, superstitions. And they took us, too, in some way._

" _We weren't there, but they believed we were, so...a version of us was_."

Loki settled further back into the pillows, head tilting back. " _America's an odd place, really. The gods that were there first were nearly forgotten and only half belong there, and the rest of us never belonged there in the first place, but we were brought there anyway. The place doesn't suit any of us very well_."

" _I don't get it,_ " Fenris murmured.

" _Enough people believed that we were there, with them, that they created what I personally call copycat gods_ ," Loki explained, in the same 'story voice'. " _Not nearly as powerful as the real thing, and closer to popular opinion of what we were like than what we were actually like, but...close enough, I suppose_."

" _You?_ " Jormungand asked.

" _Yeah, me too. Not a bad guy, but we generally stayed out of each others' way, or else it got awkward quick._ "

" _Us?_ "

Loki's breath caught for the briefest second. So did Fenris', because he could guess what 'popular opinon' of him was. If there was someone like _that_ calling himself by Fenris's name out there...

" _I dunno,_ " Loki said slowly. " _If there was, I never met any of them._ "

" _That's weird to think of,_ " Jormungand said.

" _It's weird for everybody,_ " Loki said. " _Now seriously, bedtime, it is way too late for any of you to still be up._ " He yanked the covers up so that they gently settled over all four of them. Fenris could hear Jormungand shifting around and turning himself into a bundle of blanket.

Fenris kept himself tucked up against Loki and tried to concentrate on Loki's breathing and nothing else.

* * *

_If he could just break this last one, they'd let him go, they'd turn him back, they'd promised-!_

"Fen, _hey-_ "

Fenris startled awake with a gasp.

"Sshhh," Slepnir said hurriedly, one hand hovering like he wanted to touch but knew that would just make it worse. " _Jor's still asleep._ "

There was no Loki in between them on the bed. Fenris pressed his face into the pillow. His face was already wet, what had he been doing before Slepnir woke him up?

" _Are you okay?_ " Slepnir asked, very quietly. Fenris scrubbed at his face and shook his head.

He knew perfectly well what he'd been dreaming about, and he didn't really feel like sharing.

" _Where's dad?_ " He asked, the pillow muffling him slightly.

" _I dunno,_ " Slepnir said, sounding apologetic. " _He wasn't here when I woke up._ " It was implied, _when you started making noise._ Jormungand was still dead asleep on Fenris's other side, somehow. Fenris inched closer to Slepnir.

" _Do you want...?_ "

" _Don't touch me._ " Fenris said it desperately, barely a whisper. He could still feel the ghosts of hands on him, something cold winding around his legs.

"Okay." Slepnir drooped minutely, disappointed, but he took his hand back and tucked his arm next to his chest instead. Fenris curled around the pillow and stole as much of the blanket as he dared back from Jormungand, trying to warm up and stop shaking.

He gave up after about four seconds. Slepnir sat up as Fenris crawled around him and slid off the bed.

" _Where are you going?_ " Slepnir whispered.

" _To go see where dad is._ " Downstairs was a good bet, so Fenris crept down the big spiral staircase, which looked gloomy in the middle of the night with moonlight coming in through the tall, atmospheric windows. There was light coming from down the hall, so Fenris tiptoed down towards the living room, where it turned out that Loki and Hermes were watching something on the TV.

Loki glanced up almost immediately, away from the show he was watching with what looked like an intense seriousness. He raised his eyebrows when he saw Fenris, but patted the space on the sofa next to him in a clear invitation.

Fenris slumped against his dad, face buried in Loki's shoulder. Loki absentmindedly dropped a kiss onto his head. The volume on the TV decreased, but Fenris could still hear somebody talking about cooking.

Hermes muttered something about getting a snack and stood up.

"You want something, too?" Loki asked Fenris. Fenris shook his head. Loki must have gestured at Hermes, because he didn't say anything but Fenris could hear Hermes walk away.

Loki patted Fenris's hair. "You'll be alright," he said, even though Fenris hadn't said anything about nightmares. "Off day, huh? You seemed quiet earlier."

Fenris made a noncommittal noise. Loki pressed a kiss to his head again and then, thankfully, dropped the topic.

Hermes came back after a short time with something that crunched every time he bit into it, and there must have been a lot more than one episode of whatever show they were watching, because the TV kept going in the background. Fenris stayed where he was with little inclination to move, and very nearly fell asleep again once or twice, but managed to jerk himself back into wakefulness both times, sprawled in some new and vaguely uncomfortable position over his dad.

After the second time, Loki tried to make him lie down, but Fenris stubbornly clung to wakefulness and his position with one head pillowed (a little uncomfortably, maybe) on Loki's shoulder.

"Okay," Loki said, rolling his eyes. "But _I'm_ going to bed, so I don't know what you're thinking of doing."

Fenris was too tired to give Loki a proper pleading look, but he tried.

"No," Loki said. "Bed. If it takes making you that weird sleep tea Adam likes, then so be it."

"Sleep tea?" The name made it sound like some kind of potion.

"It's supposed to help people get to sleep easier," Loki explained. "Or help them sleep _better,_ I don't actually know how it works, probably something to do with the specific combination of herbs or something." He gave Fenris an unusually serious look. "If I make some, will you drink it?"

Fenris shook his head.

" _Fen_ ," Loki said cajolingly. "You can't stay up forever."

That was debatable. Loki seemed to catch wind of Fenris's thoughts, because he sighed and said, "Not even if I have some too?"

How was _that_ supposed to persuade him.

"I'll compromise," Loki offered. "You can have the tea and see if that helps, or you can tell me why you don't want to go to sleep."

...Ugh. "Okay."

* * *

Fenris fell asleep at the table.

He didn't even get to finish the tea (not that Loki was ever going to hear him complain about that).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....no reviews on the last two chapters, but maybe you could tell me what you thought of this one? (and check out @thevesselverse!)


	27. Not Quite Dysfunctionality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, more Hel! I know I kinda bailed on writing her in the last one, but it didn't fit, so she has been bumped up slightly to this one. Pinky swear.
> 
> If you haven't yet, @thevesselverse is still open for persual, and if you're confused by how the hell this house even works, there's always my illustrations in part 4 of this series :)

Surprisingly, the only reason Fenris woke up in a fright was because Scully had sat down on him.

Scully scrambled off him as Fenris flailed and scooted into a sitting position. She looked at him reproachfully, upset at being so ungracefully removed from her seat.

"Don't _do_ that," Fenris huffed. The bed around him was disheveled, which was normal, and also empty, which was not. There wasn't a clock nearby, so he couldn't tell what time it was, only that it had to be later than usual for the sun to be sending in plenty of light through the windows. In _winter._

Granted, they were in Britain, so it was only a lot of light compared to how much there _normally_ was.

Fenris would have dragged the blanket off the bed with him, if it wasn't way too big to be easily moved, so he settled for pulling on somebody's abandoned tunic that had been left on the floor and using that as an extra layer. It didn't get very chilly in their house, but he always felt like it did if he was only wearing one layer.

Scully slid off the bed and followed him out the door. It had snowed again at some point, which Fenris didn't realize until he looked up and saw that the skylights were completely blocked off by it. It made the big foyer (that was what his dad called it, but Fenris didn't know what it meant) look darker than normal.

He didn't like it.

There was noise downstairs, and if he looked Fenris was sure he'd catch a glimpse of somebody. But on the opposite side of the foyer, Hel's door was open just a bit.

Fenris went around to her door and peeked inside.

Hel looked up from where she was sitting at her desk, evidently in the middle of something. "Morning," she said. "Or afternoon, I guess."

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get in touch with somebody, but it's not working. Come in."

Fenris came in.

He sat down on Hel's bed while she swept a pile of shiny-smooth runestones back into their bag. Scully didn't follow him in, instead choosing to turn and go downstairs, or at least Fenris _guessed_ that was what she was doing, since her claws were always really loud on the stairs.

Hel sat down next to him. "So," she said. "Is this boredom, or is this about the thing you didn't need to talk about yesterday?"

Fenris looked out the window, away from his sister. There was a lot more sun coming in from this side of the house.

"C'mon," Hel said, "don't ignore me."

"I'm _not_ ," Fenris grumbled. "I dunno what to say."

"You could start from the beginning?"

"There isn't one." Fenris huffed and leaned backwards, lying down. His head barely missed the wall. "This is backwards."

Hel raised her eyebrows, which on her was a polite way of communicating ' _I have no idea what you're talking about'._

" _This._ " Fenris gestured between them. "I'm... _older._ "

Hel's expression changed to one raised eyebrow, which meant _I've just figured out what you're on about but I'm not sure why you're on about it. _"Being the littlest makes me unable to give advice?"

"No, but...it's too complicated." Fenris threw an arm over his face. "How come you're not still little?"

He couldn't see Hel's face, like this, but he had a feeling there was another kind of raised eyebrow involved.

"Different circumstances," Hel said, eventually. "I had to rush with you, but under my own circumstances, rushing wasn't really possible."

"How come _you_ had to come get us?"

"I've told you _that_ before, Dad couldn't. He didn't have the power for it."

"That's not an explanation," Fenris grumbled.

"Well," Hel said, "it's the best explanation _I_ ever got, so take it up with Dad, not me."

Fenris made a face. Hel shuffled around and scooted backwards so she was leaning against the wall.

"I don't know why you ended up the same age," Hel said conversationally, "but I think it was better than the alternative."

"Alternative?" Fenris raised his arm to look at her.

"It would've been a lot harder if you'd found yourself in a body you didn't remember growing up in, wouldn't it?" Hel asked. "Imagine if you'd looked my age from the start but still felt forty-three."

If she was going to put it like _that._

"I guess," Fenris said. "It's still weird." He put his arm back down. "I don't see why waiting made you change less."

"When one fiddles with spells she doesn't understand, and goes too quickly," Hel replied, "there tends to be a consequence. Or perhaps it was designed to work like that, though I couldn't imagine why."

"I don't want to talk about spells anymore," Fenris said.

"Alright."

"Why do you always use them?"

Hel hesitated for the barest second. "What happened to not talking about spells anymore?"

"They're different," Fenris said. "You do it to yourself."

"I scare you." Hel didn't sound proud of it, or particularly happy.

"What? No you don't," Fenris said, sitting up and putting his arm down.

Hel raised her eyebrows at him again.

"I _used_ to not like what you looked like because I thought you were hurt," Fenris said. "Or sick." And so what if Hel was a little scary-looking, she wasn't scary to _him._ Not anymore, at least, but he wasn't going to say that.

Hel made a scoff-y noise under her breath, like she thought he was lying, but she looked down and started tugging lightly on the fingertips of her glove like she meant to take it off. "You're not the only person in this house."

"But everybody _knows_ you," Fenris pointed out. A doubtful thought occurred to him. "You don't _like_ it, do you?"

"That's neither here nor there," Hel said, which didn't make sense to Fenris but probably meant _I'm not going to answer that but I'm going to pretend like I just did._

Fenris leaned heavily against his sister. Hel didn't budge, which was unfair, because he didn't get to play with her like Slepnir and Jormungand had played with him because she was too _big_ for it. "Dad would probably kick out anybody who was mean about it."

Hel snorted, which was a small success. "If I take it off," she said, "will you answer a question for me?"

"I guess."

Hel looked down at him. The other half of her face, without the illusory glamour, looked frostbitten and distinctly bonier, her cheekbone jutting out and her clouded left eye deeply shadowed. "Do you wish you were older?"

"No," Fenris said. "It's just confusing."

"How so?"

"That's two questions," Fenris accused.

"Humor me," Hel said, taking her glove off and setting it on the bedside table.

"I dun _no_ ," Fenris sighed, "it's _weird._ I feel one age, and it isn't like I changed _at all,_ but I'm... _growing_ really fast and I know I _should_ be older, and it would all be really easier if things had just happened like they should've."

"In a linear fashion, you mean."

"Linear?"

Hel drew a line in the air with one finger. "Going straight from one point to another, instead of going backwards for no reason."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess." Fenris shrugged, realized he was still leaning on Hel, and sat up. "I was talking to my friends about it, so..."

"Really?" Hel sounded surprised.

"I sorta had to," Fenris mumbled. "I didn't know there wasn't really a queen anymore."

"Ah," Hel said, "the perils of growing up under a monarchy."

"What's it called when there's an emperor?"

Hel pondered that for a moment. "I think it's just an empire," she said. "A monarch rules a monarchy, an emperor rules an empire."

"Oh. I thought there would be a fancy word for it."

"English goes wildly between simple and overcomplicated," Hel said. "It's very weird."

"Everything's weird," Fenris muttered.

"It's not so bad."

"Yeah, but you remember." Fenris snapped his mouth shut. He hadn't meant to say something like that.

"Yes," Hel said slowly, giving Fenris a long look. "Not well, in some places."

Fenris looked out the window again. He couldn't see the neighbor's house - there was a tree in the way.

"Fenris?"

"Wasthereanyoneelsethere?" Fenris blurted out.

"Anyone else _where?"_ Hel sounded puzzled.

"You know," Fenris mumbled, stretching his legs out until it hurt to try and reach further. His voice got quieter and quieter, trailing off into a barely-audible whisper. "When you came and got me..." It wasn't like he had any other way of knowing if Hati had been telling the truth, but he didn't want to tell Hel about the wolves, for some reason.

Hel must have stared, because she took several moments to answer. "Yes," she said.

Fenris glanced back at her, then hurriedly back at the window, and then back at Hel to ask "Who?" He rushed it so that he didn't have to see the way Hel was looking at him. He didn't want - he didn't know what she'd think, but he didn't want pity or anything.

"Do you really need to ask that?" Hel questioned. There was an odd note in her voice. She sounded very serious. "What did you -"

Fenris's stomach chose that moment to growl loudly.

There was a moment of silence, and then Hel snorted, managing to partially dissolve the tense atmosphere.

"Maybe something to eat would be a good idea," she said. "I'll meet you downstairs, I might as well eat something myself."

"You could just come with me?" Fenris almost regretted saying it - he wasn't sure he wanted to continue this conversation.

"I need to do something very quickly. I'll only be a moment." Hel shepherded him gently out of her room. "Besides, you need to eat if you've been asleep 'til noon. Go."

Scully greeted Fenris at the bottom of the stairs, tail wagging. Fenris peeked around the corner and saw Muriel frowning at some parchment, seated at the same table as Adam, who was reading a small, brightly colored book and, to all appearances, pointedly ignoring the stack of textbooks next to him.

Fenris went into the kitchen. Jormungand was sitting on the counter, eating cold pancakes out of a ziploc bag, hair pulled back into a floofy ponytail.

" _Hi,_ " she said (Jormungand only ever put her hair in a ponytail when she was feeling like a girl). " _You slept in._ "

Fenris made a face. Like he didn't know that? He joined Jormungand at the counter and stole one of the pancakes. It didn't taste as good without syrup. Scully sat next to the stool and whined until he gave her a little bit of it.

" _It snowed last night,_ " Jormungand said, eating the last of them. " _I didn't let Scully out yet so we could go make the first footprints._ "

" _Maybe later,_ " Fenris muttered.

" _Oh. I might have to let her out sooner, then._ " Jormungand picked up a mug that Fenris hadn't noticed and sipped from it contemplatively. " _If someone else doesn't do it first, that is._ "

Fenris looked down at Scully, who whined at him again. He gave her more pancake.

" _Do you wanna watch a_ movie?" Jormungand asked hopefully. "We could make popcorn."

"I don't want to do anything," Fenris snapped, and Jormungand jerked away minutely, making him instantly regret it. Fenris put his face in his hands. At his feet, Scully whined again, but it didn't sound like she was asking for food.

"Sorry," Fenris said, after a moment.

"It's okay."

"I brought the book." Fenris didn't know why he said that.

"The book?" Jormungand asked, sounding confused.

"The one Narvi asked for."

Jormungand sucked in a breath, realization dawning on her. "Did you read it?" She demanded.

"No."

"Why not?"

"...I didn't want to." Fenris put his hands down and put his face into his folded arms. He caught a glimpse of Jormungand's expression. There was something in it he couldn't translate into words.

"You should tell him."

"I don't want to."

Jormungand hesitated for a long moment, and then asked, very quietly, " _Can I see it?"_

" _It's in my school trunk,_ " Fenris said. " _Go ahead._ "

* * *

Fenris was in the sun room, a thick blanket draped around his shoulders, watching the snow come down. A room that was mostly windows was a good place to watch a storm, if it wasn't a scary one.

Jormungand came in and went to her table full of paints and markers and art stuff. Fenris heard the chair squeak against the floor, but he didn't hear the plastic click of anything being opened.

"I didn't read it," Jormungand said.

"Okay."

"Fen." There was something very urgent in that one syllable. Fenris turned around. Jormungand was staring fixedly at a mug that was probably full of water for washing off brushes.

"I didn't read it because I already knew what it was going to say," Jormungand said. "About me."

Oh.

"I know," Fenris said, and he meant, _I know what that feels like, I know because that's why I didn't._

There was nobody in the middle room, nobody close enough to overhear. Slepnir was up in the cupola, watching the storm like Fenris was, "from a better angle." Everybody else had gone out while pretending they weren't buying gifts for a holiday they didn't really celebrate, or busy doing something else. No one was paying attention to the two of them.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments, anyway.

" _What are we supposed to do if we only remember enough to be scared of learning anything else?_ " Jormungand asked the mug.

Usually the answer when Fenris was scared was his dad.

He wasn't sure that solution would work for this.

" _I don't know,_ " Fenris said.

" _There has to be something._"

" _Maybe there isn't,_ " Fenris said. " _Maybe we never fix it._ "

" _Don't say that._ " Jormungand's head snapped up and she stared at him, irate. " _That's stupid, there has to be something._"

Fenris didn't say anything about how unlikely it was that there was a cure out there for seven hundred years of lost memories. Never mind that none of them would be able to stand having any kind of spell put on them.

" _The only people who'd know how to fix it for good are the ones who did it in the first place,_ " he said, because he knew it was true, and Jormungand had to know that, too.

" _I hate him,_ " Jormungand said abruptly, and at first it seemed like a sudden topic change. " _The - the man with the - eyepatch._ "

Fenris shivered, goosebumps rising unbidden on his skin. He knew who Jormungand meant.

" _There's more than him in this world._ " He was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince her.

" _Not this one. Who else can get here?_ "

Fenris thought of Hati, and Sköll, and shrugged. " _Don't know._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my dudes, these kids are killing me. I think I've inadvertently made a new rule, and the rule is if I don't cry while writing a chapter it isn't good enough. Fun times.
> 
> Comment please! I know this seems like a lot of filler chapters, but this stuff is important and I'd love to hear what you thought.


	28. The Proverbial String Streches Too Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was _gonna_ post this last night. But...I got home from Chicagocon and the cast's karaoke party at like 11:30 PM (in case you were wondering: Richard is _even better_ in person. This is the closest I've ever come to having a male celebrity crush). So I was super tired last night and literally just had some food and went straight to bed.
> 
> It was fun, though, if kinda exhausting! I met some cool. And this chapter isn't so late. 
> 
> I almost called this chapter Is There A Creative Word For Tension? And then I was like oh, thesaurus.com exists. It didn't give me a good synonym, but it definitely exists.
> 
> I...didn't really mean for that last chapter to get so sad. Promise. This just happens. And unfortunately, there's a ways to go before we get through it...
> 
> If you're curious about the runes I use in the beginning of this chapter, check out Wikipedia's article on the  
> [Elder Futhark](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elder_Futhark) \- there's a little chart-thingy that's ok for translation. I use that (as opposed to Younger Futhark) because it's probably what Loki would have taught the kids.
> 
> This chapter includes lots of languages, but I have translations - thanks to @bellamortem on tumblr for helping me out with that, because I don't speak French. Hover for translations!

The snow piled up so thickly Fenris thought the hedges might collapse under the weight of it. The steps of the back porch had vanished under a fresh layer of it, and if he went up to the cupola to look, there was only the occasional glimpse of brown or green from the trees that circled the yard and bowed under the weight of the most recent snowfall.

Scully's footprints in the yard became a sort of trench she plowed to get to her favorite places, and then when it snowed so much the path was only a faint dip in the otherwise perfect layer, Loki put a sort of litter-box in the bathroom, declaring that she'd just get lost in the snow at this point.

Fenris, if he wanted to, could go outside and look at their house and not see a single bit of the dark blue roof.

"I wonder if this is what Jötunheim looks like," he said, peering out of the windows in the cupola. It was very small, compared to the rest of the house, and really didn't count as a third floor, but the window seat was comfortable and it was cool to look out from such a high place, like it was a tower. His breath fogged in a white patch on the windowpane.

"London is too flat to be Jötunheim," Slepnir said. "And there's too many buildings."

"There's enough snow."

"If the buildings were shorter," Slepnir said authoritatively, "it would look like Kaupang."

"Where's that?" Fenris turned around to look at him curiously.

"Norway. We lived there for - I mean, me and dad did. Before you were around."

"Oh." Fenris turned around to breathe on the window again, and he drew an ᚠ in the cloudy patch. It looked a lot like the letter for the same rune, which was nice, except the spokes of an F just went straight forward and not up, and Fenris was always mixing them up. Also, an English A didn't look anything like an F, which was weird.

He breathed harder, then added an ᛖ and a ᚾ.

"How come we don't live in Jötunheim?" Fenris asked.

Slepnir tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, as if that would help him think. Fenris could see his brother's reflection in the glass.

"I don't think many Jötnar like dad," Slepnir said.

" _Laufey_ does."

"Well, yes, I didn't say _all_ of them," Slepnir huffed. "Anyway, dad likes it here better."

"London?"

" _ _Miðgarð_._ "

"What _for_?"

"I dunno," Slepnir said. "Same reason he started hanging out in Asgard, I guess."

It was so weird to think about how his dad used to be friends with them. Not that Fenris had ever seen much evidence of that, even before.

Fenris breathed on the three letters he'd already written, and then added a ᚱ.

"What are you writing?"

"Just my name." Fenris finished with ᛁ and ᛋ.

Slepnir joined him on the window seat, leaving a comfortable distance between them. He looked out at the city lights for a few moments, and then sucked in a huge breath and exhaled a big foggy patch above Fenris's.

"It looks cool like this," he said, drawing a slightly lopsided ᛋ and then ᛚ. "With the street lights on in the daytime and everything all white."

"Mm," Fenris said, privately wondering if he was _actually_ related to someone with such weird ideas of what was cool. Slepnir _was_ only his half brother...

"You don't?" Slepnir paused in the middle of writing out ᛈ. "And you're complaining about not being in Jötunheim?"

"I wasn't _complaining,_ " Fenris grumbled, and added ᚾ to Slepnir's name before his brother could do it himself.

"Whatever," Slepnir said, and added the ᛁ. The ᚱ went off the edge and onto unfogged glass, so Slepnir breathed on it and then rewrote it.

Fenris's name had almost completely faded. It had turned into smudgy glass and the blurred city behind it, at least from Fenris's point of view. He breathed over it again, but it didn't help much.

"I like it here, too," Slepnir said, looking at his name, which was fading too. "Jötunheim is all grey and Asgard is...too much. And they don't like us."

"Does it bother you?" Fenris asked.

"Does what?"

"Your other dad's there somewhere," Fenris pointed out. Slepnir glanced at him, then out the window, then down at his knees, then back out the window.

"I know," he said. "Doesn't mean anything. He might not have been involved with - you know." Slepnir gestured at his head.

It was probably mean, to bring Slepnir's Æsir father up like that. Fenris slouched against the window behind him and nodded.

He looked out the city, past Slepnir fogging up the glass again and carefully writing out ᚨ-ᚢ-ᚦ-ᚢ-ᚾ-ᚨ-ᚱ.

"They called me Lokajarson," he said, out of the blue. "Someone did. I don't remember who."

"That doesn't seem that mean." Not to _Slepnir,_ at least, not really.

"It didn't exactly seem like it was meant as a compliment," Slepnir muttered. He didn't say if he'd remembered anything else. Fenris didn't really want to start that conversation.

Slepnir wiped away the name he'd written. Fenris watched a car slog through the storm on the streets below, only easily identifiable by its headlights and the fact that it wasn't white.

"I wouldn't know him," Slepnir said. Fenris didn't know why he was still talking about it. "I've never had a parent except dad. You know? Sorry, stupid question."

"You had mom, too," Fenris said. "She wasn't just ours."

"Yeah," Slepnir said, "but I wasn't hers, not really."

* * *

Loki made a heaping amount of hot food, the kind that steamed and warmed a person up from the inside, and so gradually everyone was lured into the kitchen and ended up sitting around in the dining room.

Muriel ate absentmindedly like she kept forgetting what she was supposed to be doing, Hel didn't eat at all, and Fenris stayed in the kitchen with his dad.

"I meant to ask you," Loki said, from inside the pantry, "if you wanted to invite anybody over. I know we don't exactly celebrate Christmas, but your friends probably wouldn't mind, and anyway wizards are hardly Christian, I don't know why _they_ celebrate it."

Fenris's mouth was full, which gave him time to briefly contemplate how the twins might react to being invited over. Lillian would probably be thrilled, but once they _got_ to his house...

He wasn't completely unaware, he knew people didn't normally live in houses as big as his, and the Lovegoods certainly didn't. And he wasn't sure if they would like anyone else.

"Earth to Fenris," Loki said, emerging with a bunch of napkins. "You listening? Oh, you've got food."

Fenris swallowed his soup and reached for a piece of crusty bread (carefully - the loaf was still steaming from where it had been cut). "Maybe," he allowed, picking the crust off and eating the softer inside first.

"Well, think about it." Loki moved around the table and into the living room. "Okay, you're all gonna use napkins, because I don't trust any of you not to get stuff on the sofa and then just pretend you didn't."

"You don't have to throw them," Adam grumbled. Fenris glanced over to see him removing a couple napkins from his head.

"It wouldn't be fun, then." Loki was grinning as he swept back into the kitchen, directing his attention towards Fenris again. "If you were wondering where the mac 'n' cheese went, Jormungand stole it. I'm pretty sure she intends to eat the whole bowl."

Fenris snorted. Loki grinned wider and snapped his fingers at the motley collection of bowls and measuring cups and such that cluttered up the space next to the sink, cleaning them in an instant, and then fell gracefully into the chair opposite Fenris.

"So, friends, no friends? I'll eat that crust if you're not gonna."

"I'll eat it," Fenris said, methodically shredding it into small pieces and dropping them into his bowl. "I don't know if they'd want to."

"Hey, no rush, but y'know they'd probably be thrilled." Loki snapped his fingers again, this time in realization. "Wait. I promised X-Files! You wanna do that later?"

"Maybe."

"I wanna watch X-Files," Slepnir called, turning around to look into the kitchen.

"I'll put your name down for it," Loki replied, shooting him a grin. He sobered a little when he looked back at Fenris, and asked, "You alright?"

"Yeah," Fenris lied, and turned his attention back to his soup so he'd have an excuse not to talk.

Hermes wandered by to reach past him for the bread. "I'm surprised you still know how to cook anything," he said teasingly, tearing a slice in half.

"Oh, please," Loki scoffed. "I never forget anything."

"Uh huh."

Loki propped his chin in his hand, leaning on the table. "Tu lui croit?" He asked quietly, and Fenris glanced up in surprise. He didn't know enough French to understand it; normally his dad didn't speak it.

"Qui?" Hermes sat down next to Loki, propping his feet on the sole empty chair.

"Le petit." Loki saw Fenris's curious look. "Eat your soup, Fen."

Fenris took a bite of his bread, just to be contrary. Loki didn't try to hide his smile.

"Tu veux parler sur ça maintenant?" Hermes sounded irritated.

"Il ne fait pas-" Loki put his arm down.

"Non." Hermes stuffed some bread into his mouth, as if pointedly ending the conversation.

"Bien. On le laissera pour plus tard," Loki said, almost warningly. Fenris desperately tried to remember any of the French he'd overheard Jormungand use from time to time.

"Bien-sûr," Hermes grumbled around his mouthful, not sounding very pleased.

Geez. If they were going to argue in front of him like that, Fenris would have at least liked to know what it was about.

* * *

"Si tu ne veux pas qu'ils te mentent, essaies de ne faire pas comme si ça n'avait jamais passé," Hermes hissed to Loki, while Fenris and Jormungand and Slepnir were busy trying to divide up what remained of the loaf of bread. Jormungand looked over sharply when she realized he was speaking French.

"What'd he say?" Fenris asked under his breath, when Hermes had stomped off and Loki was left standing very stiffly in the doorway. Jormungand shrugged.

"Too complicated," she said back, barely as loud as Fenris had been. "It's not the same as what I learned."

Fenris glanced at his dad, who didn't appear to be listening, which was lucky, because whispering wouldn't have done much to prevent him overhearing. Loki was facing the other way, slouched up against the edge of the doorway. He didn't stay there for long - Loki straightened abruptly and went into the hallway, turning to go in the opposite direction that Hermes had gone in.

"Yikes," Slepnir said.

"I don't like this," Jormungand said.

"It's not like we can do anything if we don't know what they're even _saying,_ " Fenris pointed out.

"I still don't like it." Jormungand's mouth was set in a stubborn line. Slepnir picked up a piece of bread and offered it to her, steaming, when a moment ago it had been quite cool. Jormungand took it and dropped it almost immediately. " _Ow,_ too hot!"

"Sorry," Slepnir said sheepishly. "I'm not good at - uh, being careful."

Jormungand picked the slice up again, very carefully. There was a visible decrease in the amount of steam, and a few bluish sparks that snapped in and out of existence around it for a moment.

"I don't think the book can help with this either," she said, and took an angry bite out of one side.

"What book?" Slepnir looked at her, bewildered. Jormungand froze for a moment, then took an even larger bite. Slepnir looked at Fenris.

"I thought she told you about it already," Fenris said quickly.

" _What_ book?"

"The myth one," Fenris hissed.

Slepnir stared for a moment before he realized what Fenris was talking about. " _You have it?_ Why didn't you say so? What does it say?"

"...I don't know."

"You don't-" Slepnir was brought up short. "Didn't you read it?"

Fenris glanced at Jormungand, who was glancing at him. They both looked away.

" _Guys,_ " Slepnir protested.

"Nobody said we _had_ to," Fenris snapped.

"But - don't you want to?"

Fenris and Jormungand glanced at each other again. Jormungand reluctantly swallowed her bread, but didn't speak.

"Stop _doing_ that," Slepnir said, sounding aggrieved.

"Stop _ordering me around._ " Jormungand shoved herself away from the table. Slepnir stared after her as she stormed out, then looked helplessly at Fenris.

Fenris shrank down in his seat. "I just didn't want to," he said defensively. "If _you_ do so badly, you can go read it. I don't care."

"But-" Slepnir grappled with words for a moment and then switched to Norse. " _It could tell us what happened!_ "

Yeah, that was the fucking problem; Fenris didn't need a book to tell him those answers. He shrugged uncomfortably.

What a fun break this was turning out to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy...I did it again...comment, please? I did a lot of html for this chapter and it took longer than it should have.


	29. Argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so taxing to write I had to physically drag the words out of myself. I'm trying to put together some kind of release for all the stuff that's been building up but I DON'T KNOW, NOBODY IN THIS FAMILY LIKES TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING.
> 
> I'm working with what I'm given. These guys are not giving me much.
> 
> Also, uh...the last scene was written while I was in the middle of going through literally every fic/drabble/whatever that notbecauseofvictories has written, so...that's why it's a little stylistically different. If you were wondering. I had some trouble keeping my tenses straight.
> 
> On a lighter note, this chapter reflects some Norse holiday traditions, but keep in mind that a) the kids are not super into it at the moment, b) Loki's probably adapted to the various ways they've changed over the years, mainly because I'm being as historically accurate as possible but have to acknowledge that we have no idea how it was really originally celebrated, and c) I may be working from biased/outdated/plain wrong info.
> 
> Either way, I actually have a concrete date for this chapter, if you're curious! It's the winter solstice, roundabouts 2027, given the gap between The Accidental Vessel and now. I'm going with 2027 because that's the year I looked up to figure out when the solstice would be (and also when the full moon and Hanukkah would have been in December, when writing Lupin's brief appearance).

On the evening of the solstice, after Fenris had been in an odd kind of stalemate with his siblings all day, Loki recruited him to help light candles.

"I'd ask Slepnir," he said, "but I get the feeling that he'd light more than just the wicks on fire. Here, start with the little ones."

Fenris took the little pack of candles silently. Even _they_ looked strange, like everything else did now; they were barely an inch tall and in a little metal dish, instead of just being left as a rounded block of wax.

Loki pushed him gently towards the window. "You could line them up on the sill," he suggested.

"The sun's still up," Fenris muttered. "It's not like they're going to make much of a difference."

"You've never been far north enough to see the sun only rise for about three minutes at noon," Loki replied. "We needed candles this early _then._ "

Fenris thought they were pretty far north, compared to everywhere else he'd lived, but London was fairly far south compared to the rest of England. Whatever. He pried the first candle out of the plastic and put it on the corner of the windowsill. Fenris looked at it for a moment, then pushed it a little further away from the edge.

It was easy to light them - it only took a very basic piece of magic that a toddler could learn, not that anyone ever taught it to toddlers. His dad liked to say that Fenris had been destructive enough without being able to set things on fire.

Fenris blew gently on the candle he'd lit, to watch the flame dance back and forth. The sun was setting, outside, just barely touching the horizon - so Fenris assumed. He couldn't see the sun - the windows faced the wrong direction for it - but he could see the sky, beginning to fade into a deep blue.

He could also see the reflection of the flames held by the candles in the large, elaborate stand Loki had produced from somewhere. It looked like a deer's horn, twisting around the candles to keep them in place. There was already wax dripped all over it, from past uses. Fenris didn't recognize it.

"Gimme your opinion on this," Loki said. "Is it fancy enough to go in the dining room?"

"Probably," Fenris said, and pinched the wick of the next candle, lighting it as he jerked his fingers away.

"Don't do it like that," Loki chided, "you're gonna burn yourself. I'm going to put this on the table, don't set anything big on fire in the three minutes that I'll be gone."

Fenris considered trying to set some of the furniture (or maybe the rug) on fire, just to be petty, but it would be hard and wouldn't catch easily, and his dad would get mad at him, probably. It had been a joke. He _knew_ that.

Loki came back before Fenris could decide whether he wanted to set something on fire anyway, so there went _that_ opportunity.

"You make up your mind about the twins yet?" Loki asked, stealing a couple candles from Fenris's pack and lining them up on the other end of the windowsill. They lit as soon as he put them down, with no visible prompting that Fenris could make out except the vague twist of his dad's magic.

"No," he muttered, lightning another candle on his own.

"Too busy?"

"...Not really."

"Well, hey, break is for relaxing," Loki said airily.

But he _wasn't_ relaxed. He was the exact opposite of relaxed. Just because he _looked_ like he wasn't worrying about anything-

Fenris dropped a candle.

"Whoops," Loki said, freezing it in place. He reached over and plucked it out of midair. "Maybe be a little more - hey, hey, what's wrong?"

Fenris dropped the packet with the rest of the unlit ones and pressed his face into his hands. "Nothing!" Why couldn't he do _anything_ without being like this?

" _Fen,_ " Loki said, pleading and disbelieving at the same time. He reached out, but Fenris flinched away from being touched.

He didn't know what to _do._

"Fen," Loki repeated, softer, more persuasively. "What is it?"

"It's nothing," Fenris said stubbornly, rubbing at his face. He wasn't sure what he was trying to do. Wipe away whatever expression he was making? It probably wasn't helping him to not look like a liar.

Reluctantly, Fenris dropped his hands. He did not look at Loki.

"If something was really wrong," Loki said, after a moment, "you'd tell me, right?"

"Yeah," Fenris mumbled.

He wasn't even lying. It wasn't _that_ bad. He could deal with this. If it got worse, he'd brace himself and tell his dad.

But he hardly thought it could get that much worse.

* * *

_There was something just between his teeth. The sharp points pricked something soft. He could feel it._

_He was being held down. Something was being tied securely around his wrists and arms and legs, gruff voices speaking in an undertone.  
_

_Fenris's attention sharpened when they retreated. He tugged experimentally. It was thin, ribbony, he could break it and they'd promised he could go home-_

_It didn't break.  
_

_It - what? No, **no, no-**_

_He thrashed, but it **didn't break,** they'd tricked him-!  
_

_Fenris bit down._

_Something crunched._

_Someone shouted in pain, there was something in his mouth-_

* * *

Fenris woke gagging on the taste of blood.

He coughed, breath catching in his throat, convinced for a moment that whatever he'd bitten a moment ago had fallen out onto the bed. But the sheets were white and empty beneath him.

Empty except for Slepnir, who was watching him anxiously.

A breath caught in Fenris's throat and then forced its way out. Fenris pressed his forehead against the sheets, one arm curled around his head protectively. He'd thought - Loki hadn't been there, his father's warmth conspicuously absent, but of course he had to have an _audience._

Slepnir didn't say anything. Fenris's arm blocked his view of anything but the sheets; he couldn't tell if Slepnir was still looking at him or not.

Maybe Slepnir was just pretending he couldn't hear Fenris crying.

The thick layer of snow outside muffled the noise of the city. Even a tiny hiccup sounded like it echoed through the room. Fenris winced at the tiniest noise. Slepnir still hadn't spoken.

Fenris sniffled his way to relative quiet before Slepnir said, "Get up."

"What?" Fenris rubbed his face.

"Dad's downstairs," Slepnir said. The blanket was pooled around his waist, and he kicked it aside. "C'mon."

Somehow, without once touching Fenris, Slepnir managed to maneuver both of them out of bed and into the hallway; at which point he looked at Fenris, whose eyes were still red, and silently held out his hand.

Fenris took it.

The house was shrouded in snow-muffled silence and faint moonlight. It was very easy to tell where Loki was; the lights in the kitchen were on, and someone was talking very quietly. A shadow was thrown through the doorway and up against the wall opposite.

Loki's back was to the doorway, but he turned around when the two of them got close, even though they hadn't been making any noise. His eyes flicked over the two of them, and worry creased his face - for only a second.

"Fenris had a nightmare," Slepnir said, like Loki didn't already know.

Fenris had already let go of Slepnir's hand and was leaning against Loki, face pressed into his side. Loki rested a hand lightly on the back of his head, and then stood up, dislodging him.

"Sit down," he said softly in response to Fenris's slightly betrayed look, nudging Fenris towards the nearest chair; the one opposite Jormungand, who was sitting silently with his head buried in his arms. There was a mug, steaming slightly, sitting next to one elbow. "I'll get you some hot chocolate. It's been a bad night all around," he muttered as Slepnir slid into the chair on Fenris's other side.

"It isn't a bad night if it happens every night," Jormungand said, slightly muffled.

Loki stilled in the middle of reaching for the mugs. With precise movements, he put the one he'd already grabbed down on the counter. It clinked loudly against the smooth countertop.

Slepnir shot Fenris a look - he'd flinched, and Fenris _understood,_ but he wished Slepnir wasn't so _protective_ all the time.

Jormungand raised his head. He didn't say anything, just stared at the back of Loki's head in a strangely resentful way. Loki still hadn't replied.

Loki silently poured out two cups of hot chocolate from the pot still sitting on the stove, and eventually said, "Overuse doesn't mean an adjective no longer applies."

Jormungand scowled and put his face back in his arms. Fenris stared at him uncertainly. What kind of conversation had been interrupted?

The mugs barely made a sound when Loki put them on the table. For a moment, a waft of steam mostly obscured Fenris's view of Jormungand's face; then it drifted higher, and his brother was still hiding in his crossed arms.

Loki settled back into his chair. There was something...off. About both of them. Fenris couldn't put a finger on _what._ Why had they stopped talking as soon as they realized he and Slepnir were there?

Fenris curled his hands around his mug, to give himself something to do. He wished his dad hadn't made him sit separately.

"You wanna talk about it?" Loki offered softly. Fenris frowned. Loki already knew what he dreamed about. Didn't he?

" _You_ never do," Jormungand snapped before Fenris could say anything.

Loki's mouth thinned. "Jor-"

"I don't think it's too much to ask!" Jormungand's head snapped up, a mulish expression set solidly on his face. Fenris abruptly wished he was _anywhere_ but the kitchen.

Loki closed his eyes, briefly; the only sign that he was anything less than completely unfazed. "I didn't say it was."

"Then _why not?_ " Jormungand demanded. Fenris had the worst feeling he knew what his brother was asking for. "I don't care what happened, I-" The words choked up Jormungand's throat, but he forced them out. "I already know! I just want to know _why..._ "

Jormungand curled his arms around his head, one hand knotted in his hair, and Loki looked at him with an almost frightened sort of look.

Fenris didn't think his dad was _capable_ of looking scared.

"You...know," he repeated, carefully, like Jormungand had said _I killed someone_ or _I hate you._

Jormungand breathed in deeply. The slight nod could have been mistaken for his body moving to accommodate his lungs expanding.

Loki looked sharply at Slepnir. Slepnir looked just as thrown off-course, and shook his head, one quick movement.

Fenris looked down at the table before his dad could move his gaze to him, ask silently, _And you?_

He didn't want to _answer._

Loki didn't sigh, or say anything, and when Fenris looked up his hands were pressed against his face. Jormungand had unwound, a little, and sat up a little straighter.

"Please," he said.

The kitchen light was electric and harsher than candlelight, and it made Loki look washed-out when he dragged his hands down his face and turned his head just enough to look at Jormungand. His shadow loomed behind him in the hallway.

"You kept it secret," he said. Fenris knew there were a thousand and one unasked questions behind it.

Jormungand's resolve almost - _almost -_ crumbled. "Who were we supposed to _tell_? _"_ He shot back, but if words were arrows his fell limply from the string instead of hitting their mark.

Loki pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, and muttered something very quietly in a language Fenris didn't understand.

Jormungand looked at Fenris, like he was asking for support or for Fenris to say something or just - to look. Somewhere other than at their dad, who probably thought that they couldn't tell that part of him was quietly immolating, or at Slepnir, who was looking at both of them like they'd betrayed him by not _speaking plainly_ when they'd argued over the book.

Fenris just wanted a break and a good night's sleep.

Jormungand looked back at Loki, who was looking at either the floor or the inside of his eyelids, hands still pressed against his face. " _Dad,_ " Jormungand said, pleadingly. " _Please._ I can't - there has to be a _reason._ "

Loki snorted, but it didn't sound at all humorous. "Some people don't need one," he replied, which was the most Fenris had ever heard him voluntarily say on the topic.

"There _is_ one," Jormungand insisted. To Fenris, it sounded more like, _There has to be one._

"Sometimes people are just _assholes!_ " Loki said sharply, putting his hands down. He didn't look angry when he met Jormungand's gaze, just - just something Fenris hadn't seen on his face before.

Jormungand's mouth tightened in a way remarkably similar to the way Loki's had, less than a minute ago. "I don't care," he said. Fenris could hear his voice threatening to crack. "Just tell me _why_."

Loki didn't say anything for several moments, which was more unsettling than anything he might have said. He glanced around at the three of them doubtfully. Fenris wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer to Jormungand's question, but _if_ it helped - would it? He couldn't be sure.

Jormungand was still his brother. He tried to look pleading, even though he could feel his pulse moving in his veins.

"It's not a nice story," Loki said, somewhat bleakly; it was a pretty transparent attempt to persuade them to give up.

Jormungand's jaw was stubbornly set. "I _know_ that already!" he said, too loud in the darkness of the house, however brightly the kitchen was lit. "It happened to _me-_ "

"I know!" Loki said loudly, cutting him off. Jormungand snapped his mouth shut, startled.

Loki sighed, the rigid line of his spine bending a little, but not relaxing. "I know," he repeated, softly, and bent his head, plastering one hand over his face again and reaching with the other for one of Jormungand's. "I've wished it hadn't enough times."

Jormungand let Loki curl their fingers together, looking at Loki like he'd just realized that his dad was more than - well. Just his dad. "That doesn't make it better," he said.

"Yeah," Loki muttered. "I know that, too." He sighed again, and straightened, his hand falling away. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"If you think it will help," Loki said, reluctance lurking in every word, "I'll tell you what happened."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like...what's it gonna take to get a comment, guys? I did html for you. Maybe the cliffhanger will do it?
> 
> (Have you ever had that moment, growing up, where you sort of realize that your parents are actual people and stuff affects them in ways you can't necessarily understand and it sorta hits you that you don't really know that much about them? Yeah...Fenris is having a lot of realizations.
> 
> ...ppfffft, what, projecting onto my characters? _nooooooooooo ___)


	30. Loki's Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally the last chapter was going to be a little longer, and include Loki's story, but I posted it separately on ffnet due to time constraints and it ended up separate(God, this stuff is so difficult to write, just because of how emotionally-laden it is. I hate that this is necessary).
> 
> I might post another, separate story alongside this chapter, or at least start to post it; just to give another side of the story. I'm not sure. I'll get back to you on that, but keep your eyes out for a new thing by me.
> 
> As a note before you start reading, 'Bölverkr' is a kenning for Odin/Oðinn that has several translations; 'Bale-Worker', 'Evil-Worker', 'Evil Deed' - you get the picture. I don't think the kids would necessarily recognize it, given that Loki probably doesn't refer to people by their kennings much unless he wants to communicate more clearly how he feels about them at the moment (read: when he's upset and wants to call them names or give them sarcastic titles) but they probably can infer who he means, given the subject matter.

It wasn't like any story Loki had ever told to them, because he kept hesitating and Fenris was pretty sure that for once, none of it was made up.

"It was...back when I still hung out with - well. You know who."

"Oð-" Fenris began, hesitantly.

" _Don't,_ " Loki interrupted. "He's - there was a small incident, a while ago, where a lot of them got on the wrong side of an archangel. He'll put himself back together eventually, but even with help it'll take him a century, at least. Saying his name'll only help him, and I'd rather do that as little as possible."

Fenris pressed his mouth shut tight. He hadn't known _that._

"How long if nobody helps him?" Slepnir asked. Only Fenris could see his hands clenched into fists under the table.

"A century and a half, maybe two," Loki said, a note of satisfaction creeping into his voice. "A long, long time."

He was silent for a moment, and then Jormungand cleared his throat pointedly.

"Right," Loki said hastily, but he was silent for another half a moment before he started talking again. "You were still a baby, then, really. Fenris hadn't been born yet. We were still in England - that little manor, do you remember?"

Jormungand and Slepnir both nodded. Fenris didn't know what they were talking about, but at least this wasn't a memory he was _expected_ to have.

Loki was looking at his hands, tapping restlessly on the table, and not at any of them. "I went back to Asgard occasionally," he said. "So they didn't come wandering after me, wondering what I was doing. I'd never stayed away for very long, whenever I left, but after - around that time I stopped liking Asgard better."

Fenris resisted the urge to snort. Who liked Asgard _better?_

_..._ Well, his dad obviously had, at some point. But that was in the past.

"So," Loki said, "I dropped by. And sometimes old Bölverkr liked to drag me right back out on some urgent quest that he was certain he needed me for." Loki might have rolled his eyes, or he might have looked at the ceiling to avoid meeting any of their gazes. "So there was him, and the Thunderer, and me, in a forest in the middle of the damn night because he was too anxious to leave well enough alone."

'The Thunderer' - that was a surprise. Fenris had never pictured his dad hanging out with someone like Thor. Then again, he'd always assumed that aside from Hermes, his dad's only friend was his mom.

Loki kept talking, before that thought could go any further. "There was a _völva_ there. Buried. A long time ago. I don't know how long." He folded his hands together in front of his mouth. "Bölverkr wanted to see how much she could tell him."

Fenris exchanged a wide-eyed look with Jormungand. Necromancy?

"He can do that?" Jormungand's voice was quiet.

Behind his hands, there was a hint of a wry curve to Loki's mouth. "He could do a lot of things," Loki said. "Runes make for powerful _seiðr_."

Runes.

Fenris knew the runic alphabet; he could _read,_ obviously, even if nobody used them to write much anymore. But he'd never, ever used them for magic, and he didn't think his dad had, either. Runic magic was rare and exceptionally powerful, and to be able to use it...

Loki had once said, _Don't worry about it, Fenris, it's nothing you'll ever be able to do._ When Fenris had complained at the perceived slight, Loki had laughed. _It takes something very bad to let people use runes,_ he'd explained. _Something that hollows you out a little, to make room for the magic._

Fenris had never liked the sound of that, and he still didn't.

"What did she say?" The question came out almost without Fenris meaning to ask it.

Something in Loki's face shuttered closed, and his hands tightened on each other. "Lots of things," he said evenly. "Things that had happened, that we'd done. Past, present." He paused for a little longer than usual before adding, more quietly, "Future."

Fenris could feel the blood drain out of his face. "It was always going to happen, then," he whispered.

"No, _no._ " Loki dropped his hands and seized Fenris's. His chair scraped against the floor as he leaned closer. " _No,_ of _course_ not. The future doesn't work like that, Fen."

"Then how?" Fenris demanded. "How'd the _völva_ know it was going to happen?"

"Some people are better at seeing possibilities than others," Loki said. "That's all it was, Fen, a possibility."

"But it still happened!" How was it only a possibility if it had _happened?_ "We were in it, weren't we?"

"...Yes and no," Loki said, leaning back, and Fenris's confusion dampened his temper.

Slepnir frowned. "Both?"

"It's - complicated," Loki replied evasively, sighing. "There were...a few names mentioned. I..."

It felt, a little bit, like the three of them were holding their breath and waiting for Loki to finish. Several moments passed before his dad straightened, holding himself stiffly and looking at anything but the three of them.

"There were a few names," Loki said, again. "And - it wasn't like I kept what I heard completely secret, and when you were born..." He glanced at Fenris, something unknowable lurking in his gaze. "...it wasn't like any of us _wanted_ it to happen, but - the Fenris the _völva_ mentioned - I guess your mom liked the sound of the things he was prophesied to do."

Fenris just stared. He didn't know how else to react.

"Wh - what things?" He managed eventually.

Reluctance twisted Loki's mouth. "The one in the prophecy," he said, " was supposedly going to - well, kill Bölverkr. At the end of all things."

Fenris stared some more. His heart was pounding again, but for a different reason than it had been earlier.

"It wasn't about you," Loki hurried to say, evidently misreading Fenris's nonplussed reaction. "It was _never_ you, Fen. I barely even understand what it was _about_ when I heard it, none of us knew that _any_ of you were going to be involved. He-" Loki hesitated, and his face did something complicated, which entailed a lot of what Fenris also felt when he thought about Oðin. "He decided that it would be easier to fix a problem he knew more about, instead of letting Fate take its course."

"So he-" Slepnir faltered, but plunged forward. "The prophecy was about - Ragnarök?"

The word alone sent a shiver down Fenris's spine. He could feel a headache threatening, like after he'd first spoken to Hati and Sköll. Loki, stiffly, nodded once.

"So he made what the _völva_ said true," Slepnir continued, "because - because he thought he could win?" It was clear that Slepnir thought that was nonsense. It didn't make sense to Fenris, either.

A little hot flare of anger lit itself. What kind of stupid reason was that, to do all the things he'd done to them? The things he _continued_ to do without even being _around_ physically?

"I don't know," Loki sighed. "I've only ever been able to guess. Most of our interactions later involved me holding a knife to his throat." He trailed into vindictive smugness at the end, but that faded quickly.

Loki stood up, startling Fenris. "I think we're done for the night," Loki said, slightly gruffly. "You guys should head back upstairs."

None of them protested, but Jormungand asked, "You're not coming?" He sounded disappointed.

"I'll catch up with you." Loki gestured towards the door. "Go. You three are up late enough as it is."

Slepnir reluctantly left, Jormungand trailing in his wake, but Fenris lingered behind.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?" Loki turned to face him. He'd moved over to the other door, probably meaning to go into the living room.

"The rest of it...it didn't happen, right?" Fenris asked, fidgeting slightly. 

Loki's expression didn't even waver. "'Course not," he said, and smiled faintly at Fenris. "That all?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." Loki gestured towards the door. "Go on. I'm supposed to be a responsible parent, y'know."

" _I_ think you're a good dad," Fenris told him. He didn't see what responsibility had to do with it.

Loki's smile relaxed into something more honest. "Flattery won't get you a later bedtime," he said, but he came over to ruffle Fenris's hair and push him gently towards the door.

"Why don't you want to come up with us?" Fenris asked, curling his fingers into Loki's sleeve.

"Hey, I do, I'm just gonna take a minute before I catch up." Loki detached Fenris's hand carefully. "Promise. You won't even be asleep yet when I get upstairs."

That wasn't exactly a hard promise to make, with them.

"Okay," Fenris said reluctantly, and turned to go upstairs.

* * *

None of them even attempted to try and go to sleep.

Slepnir was sitting up, when Fenris slipped back into the bedroom. He glanced up, and looked almost disappointed when he saw that it was just Fenris.

Jormungand was lying down, a faint frown on his face. He looked surprised when Fenris scooted into his space, instead of leaving a gap between them like he usually did.

"Just tonight," Fenris muttered, feeling strangely defensive; he just didn't want to feel lonely. He couldn't curl his legs up closer, because Jormungand's body was now in the way, and his face was sort of awkwardly close to Jormungand's chest, but he didn't mind.

Jormungand didn't try to push him away, so he probably didn't mind either.

"Do you think Dad's actually coming?" Slepnir wondered aloud.

"No," Jormungand said.

"...Yeah, me neither."

"He said he would," Fenris grumbled. There was no reason to be so _cynical._

"He said just a minute, but that never means an _actual_ minute," Slepnir said. "I think - I think he got upset that we brought it up."

"Why?" Jormungand scoffed. "It didn't happen to _him._ "

Silence hung between them, for a few moments.

Jormungand sat bolt upright, dislodging and startling Fenris.

"You don't think someone did something to _Dad,_ do you?" Jormungand asked urgently.

"What? No!" Slepnir replied immediately, and then looked at his feet. "I don't know."

"He's _Dad,_ " Fenris said, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I know _that._ " Slepnir picked at his fingernail. "I mean - nothing had to have _happened_ to him for him to get upset about _us._ Maybe it's just - I don't know!"

Fenris bit his lip, uncertain. His dad's words came back to him unbidden; _Most of our interactions later involved me holding a knife to his throat._ Odin _couldn't_ have reacted well to that, and he had a lot more help than Loki probably did.

But it was his _Dad,_ who always got out of everything without a scratch. Granted, Fenris had only heard stories secondhand, and he _knew_ his dad liked to exaggerate, but it wasn't like _that._

"It was ages ago, for him," Slepnir said to his fingernail, after a moment had passed. "I guess I don't get why he'd still be so upset."

"Can't it just be because he's our dad?" Jormungand asked. Slepnir shrugged.

A door squeaked, and all of them snapped around to look just as a light turned on in the adjoining bathroom. The thin bar of light that came through under the door that led to the bedroom didn't do much to illuminate, but it did put a pretty solid stop to the conversation.

Jormungand lay back down. Fenris didn't try to close the space between them, just rolled over and put his back to the bathroom. If it was Loki, he could probably tell they were awake, but there wasn't any harm in not making it immediately obvious to him as soon as he would walk in.

Slepnir remained sitting, eyes on the door and the little bar of light around it, for a moment or two; then he laid down as well, and Fenris couldn't see his face.

Jormungand's eyes were still open. Without looking at Fenris, he found Fenris's hand with his own. He didn't grab, probably out of habit, just let his own rest under Fenris's.

Fenris didn't take his hand away. He didn't close his eyes, either.

Whoever was in the bathroom was not Loki, because the light turned off and nobody else came into the bedroom.

On Jormungand's other side, Slepnir sighed and turned over.

Fenris didn't close his eyes for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This family, I s2g.
> 
> The prophecy Loki refers to is Voluspa (Old Norse _Vǫluspá_ , literally 'The Witch's Prophecy), the prophecy of Ragnarök (which is the Norse end of the world, if you didn't know/aren't a giant mythology nerd™ like me); it's the first saga in the Poetic Edda, one of the two Eddas that make up our modern knowledge of Norse mythology. The Voluspa saga is told by an unnamed _völva_ , which is a kind of witch or sorceress.
> 
> On the subject of the kids, only one stanza (repeated throughout the latter half of the saga) refers to them directly, and neither Jormungand or Slepnir are mentioned by name; Slepnir, in fact, doesn't show up at all. Copied below are two versions of the stanza in question; I own two versions of the Poetic Edda (the Jackson Crawford translation and the Lee M. Hollander translation) so I thought I'd include both. Hollander's is technically more 'correct', but Crawford's is much easier to understand.
> 
> Hollander's is on the left, Crawford's is on the right.
> 
> Garm bays loudly / Fenrir howls terribly
> 
> before Gnipa cave, / before the doors to Hel;
> 
> breaks his fetters / the wolf will break its bonds
> 
> and freely runs. / and run.
> 
> The fates I fathom, / I know much wisdom,
> 
> yet farther I see: / I see deep into the future,
> 
> of the mighty gods / all the way to Ragnarok,
> 
> the engulfing doom. / a dark day for the gods.
> 
> (Don't go looking up the complete saga; there's more information that might crop up later in the story, so it's a potential minefield of spoilers.)
> 
> 'Garm' is another name for Fenris (here 'Fenrir', but either is technically correct; 'Fenris' is derived from 'Fenrisúlfr' (Fenris-wolf), I believe). Norse mythology generally has about ten different names on average for one person (see: kennings), and Wikipedia gives me four for Fenris straight off the bat. It's confusing, I know.
> 
> A kenning, btw, is "a compound expression in Old English and Old Norse poetry with metaphorical meaning". It can apply to names, e.g. 'Raven-god' for Odin, who keeps two ravens as companions, or 'Scar-lip' for Loki, which is...well, another story. I might come back to that later. Don't look it up.
> 
> So...comment, please? This chapter is kinda intense and I spent a lot of time on this, it would mean a lot.


	31. Rivals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, yeah! Sad chapter, but necessary. 
> 
> Bad news? We've caught up with everything that I've written. Which is sort of good - you and the ff.net readers are now on the same page - but it means there won't be a Monday/Friday update schedule anymore, since I can't write a decent chapter in three days, much less _two_.
> 
> Instead, there will now be a rigorous whenever-it's-finished update schedule - and that could mean, well, long gaps in between. My schedule from basically October til December is a mess of school, FAFSA, and college applications, so I can say pretty much for sure that I won't have a ton of free time. And even now I have to concentrate on writing other stuff (for portfolios), and at the moment chapter 32 is....242 words. Counting the author's note.
> 
> Just a warning. On with the chapter!

Loki never came upstairs, and he still wasn't there when Fenris blinked blearily out of the doze he'd slipped into, but when Fenris drifted downstairs he was wearing a soft-looking, long-sleeved shirt and pajama pants. Fenris didn't know who he was trying to fool.

Narvi was in the living room, ostensibly reading a book, but he kept glancing up towards the door; Fenris figured out in about three seconds that he was expecting someone, and, well, there were only so many people in the world that Narvi could be expecting to drop by, and most of them were already in the house.

It would be nice to see Sigyn again - he'd been expecting her ever since Hel showed up, since Hel was usually the later of the two. Was something maybe holding her up? Narvi didn't seem to know when his mother would be there.

"You're up early." Fenris jumped when Muriel spoke from behind him - he hadn't noticed her approach, his train of thought having distracted him.

"I guess?"

Muriel eyed him with the knowledgeable look of someone who was around him for three-fourths of the year. Fenris didn't like it. "I just woke up early," he said. "I was - gonna take Scully out." He'd had zero intention of doing it, but he felt like Muriel knew exactly what had happened last night and was about to bring it up.

"Isn't she upstairs?" Muriel asked.

"I dunno, I was looking for her." Fenris didn't _think_ Scully had been in her bed when he'd gotten up, but he hadn't really been paying attention. He sidled past Muriel and went down the hall, meaning to go look in the sun room, maybe - but Scully was sitting by the door to the porch, and as soon as she saw Fenris she sprang to her feet and started wagging her tail urgently.

" _Okay, okay,_ " Fenris told her in Norse, opening the door and unlatching the outer screen door. He had to push a little to get it open, due to the snow drifted up against it, but as soon as it was more than cracked open Scully went darting out. She disappeared immediately into the snow, and Fenris hurried out after her to make sure she didn't get lost or anything. Maybe his excuse shouldn't have been to let her out.

Scully left a pretty deep trail, though, and her head was still visible above the snow. She made a beeline for the trees bordering the yard, where the snow was shallower and it was probably a lot easier for her to do her business.

Fenris swept some of the snow aside and sat down on the steps. He could feel the dampness soaking through his pajama pants, which was vaguely uncomfortable, but he wasn't cold. Midgard this far south - as far as London could be considered south - never got cold enough to bother him.

He was almost disappointed by it. He'd grown up mostly in Greece - he'd gotten overheated more than once. It would've been interesting to experience the opposite.

Scully sniffed around in the bushes, and strained to reach some bird's footprints on the top of the snow that she hadn't plowed through, but more or less right away she retraced her steps and trotted back over to Fenris, tongue hanging out happily.

" _Are you cold?_" Fenris asked. Scully whuffed, and reared up to put her paws on his chest so she could lick his face. "Scully, _nooo._ "

The snow shifted behind him as the door was pushed open again, and Scully perked up, abandoning her attempt to get Fenris's face completely wet in favor of running excitedly over to whoever had opened it. Fenris wiped his face off and stood up, turning around to look.

"You got something," Loki said with a wry grin, pointing at Fenris's chest. He was leaning against the door to keep it open.

Fenris looked down at his shirt. There were two wet pawprints where Scully had balanced herself.

"I know." Fenris rubbed at the marks in an ineffectual attempt to dry them.

"C'mon inside, it's freezing." Loki held the door open for him.

"I'm not cold," Fenris said, but he went inside anyway. Scully trailed after him, but when Loki stayed at the door, looking outside, she turned around to bark at him.

"Alright, alright." Loki let the screen door swing shut and kicked the heavier one closed behind him. Fenris heard the lock click shut. "Can't a guy appreciate the view from his own backyard?" Loki leaned down to scratch between Scully's ears.

Fenris shifted uncomfortably in his wet pants, wishing he hadn't sat down. Loki must have noticed, because he straightened and gave Fenris an amused look.

"C'mere, I'll dry you off," he offered.

"It's okay, I'll put different pants on," Fenris said. He might as well get dressed, if he was awake.

Loki shrugged. "Suit yourself." He walked back down the hall with Scully at his heels.

His dad, at least, seemed to have gotten over last night's conversation completely.

* * *

Jormungand wasn't asleep, but he rolled over and shoved a pillow over his head when Fenris came in and started looking for non-pajama pants.

" _Sorry,_ " Fenris muttered, trying to grab yesterday's clothes out from under the bed. _He_ hadn't kicked them under there, that was for sure, and he had a lot of things to say to whoever had.

" _Too many people are walking through here,"_ Jormungand complained.

" _It's just me!_ " Fenris poked his head above the mattress to make sure Jormungand heard him. " _I'm not being that loud."_

" _Vali came in a minute ago,_ " Jormungand grumbled, pulling the pillow down closer. " _He went out onto the balcony._ "

Fenris turned around. Sure enough, Vali was leaning against the railing, the balcony mysteriously clear of snow. He was wearing a hat pulled down low over his ears, and a jacket in a dull navy color. Fenris could see his breath misting darkly against the sky.

" _What's he doing?_ " Fenris asked, mystified.

" _I don't know,_ " Jormungand groaned. " _Just put your pants on and leave._ "

Fenris didn't put his pants on, since he was still wearing the wet ones. Instead, he pushed open the balcony door and went back outside.

Vali jumped when he heard the door open, and he glanced over his shoulder at Fenris with an almost guilty look. "Oh - it's just you."

"Are you smoking?" Fenris asked.

"...No." Vali turned to face him, but kept one hand hidden behind his back.

"I'm not gonna tell," Fenris said, pushing the door closed. "Isn't it bad for you?"

"For humans, maybe."

"Dad says it's bad." Fenris walked over to Vali and leaned against the railing. Vali kept facing him and didn't un-hide the cigarette he was undoubtedly holding. A faint trail of smoke was rising over his shoulder.

Vali scoffed under his breath. " _Dad's_ probably smoked at one point or another."

"How d'you know?"

"This might be a wild guess," Vali said sarcastically, "but I'm pretty sure he lived through the fifties."

"What fifties?" Fenris said. "Whatever you aren't smoking is still on fire, you know, I'm not fooled."

Vali cursed and pulled his hand away from his back. "The _nineteen-_ fifties," he answered, craning his neck to try and see the back of his jacket. "Geez. Did I burn it?"

"Aren't they _supposed_ to be on fire?"

"The jacket, smartass." Vali side-eyed Fenris, then muttered "Whatever" and put the cigarette back in his mouth.

"Why does Dad being alive fifty years ago mean he smoked?" Fenris questioned.

"Because it was a _thing_ back then, because humans hadn't figured out that smoking these made them sick," Vali answered, taking the cigarette out for a moment to blow a cloud of greyish smoke out. The wind, moving away from Fenris luckily, picked it up and carried it over the roof. "How'd you think I picked up the habit?"

"I dunno," Fenris said. "I've never seen you smoking before."

Vali shrugged. "I needed something to do," he muttered.

"Is your mom gonna be mad if she sees you smoking?"

"...Why?"

"She's coming today."

Vali cast a started, anxious glance back towards the bedroom. "You're telling me _now?_ "

"This is the first time I've seen you all day," Fenris protested. "I _think_ she is, Narvi looked like he was waiting for someone and I don't think he knows _that_ many people."

Vali snorted. "Don't let Narvi hear you say that."

"That many people who aren't _already here._ "

"That's fair." Vali breathed out another cloud of smoke, a warm huff of breath mixed with the stuff from the cigarette. Fenris's breath remained invisible.

"What?" Vali asked, when he noticed Fenris watching.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah, duh." Vali glanced at Fenris's pajama pants and handmedown t-shirt. "Or not duh. You're not cold at all?"

"No. I can't make my breath do that either."

"I don't 'make' it do that. It just does that 'cause it's hotter than the outdoors are at the moment." The wind blew a little more strongly, and Vali cupped one hand protectively over the glowing end of the cigarette. "The fact that I'm smoking probably helps, you realize."

"I know."

"Guess I just run a little warmer than the average Jötnar." The wind whisked away Vali's next exhale. They stood in a companionable silence, for a little while.

"Sigyn's Ásynjur, isn't she?" Fenris asked eventually.

Vali shrugged. "Partly, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, she's certainly _from_ Asgard, but Dad's not. The way she always told it, it would've been okay for an Ás to marry a giantess but never the other way 'round, so." Vali shrugged again.

"So?"

" _So,_ she's at least half Ljósálfar. You didn't know?"

"No," Fenris said, intrigued. "So you're...?"

"A mix of a lot of things," Vali finished for him, and stubbed out his cigarette on the railing. "And also really cold. I'm going back inside."

Fenris trailed him back inside. Vali left faint damp marks on the carpet as he left, leaving the door open behind him.

" _Are you done?_ " Jormungand asked grumpily.

" _No. Stop complaining,_ " Fenris retorted, snatching up the pants. _He'd_ been up just as late as Jormungand; he didn't see why his brother insisted on being so grumpy.

* * *

Fenris had left Jormungand to whatever he was planning on doing by staying in bed. When he thought to wonder where Slepnir had gone, he eventually found his older brother in the living room, curled up on the sofa opposite Narvi, who was sprawled in the same chair he'd been in earlier

Slepnir was reading a small, brightly-colored book that Fenris distinctly remembered seeing in Adam's possession. He glanced up briefly when Fenris took the empty spot at the end of the sofa.

"What's that?" Fenris leaned against Slepnir's legs. Slepnir was curled so that the book was propped against his knees, which made for a very convenient leg-surface to lean on.

"A book," Slepnir replied.

"Ha, ha. Isn't it Adam's?"

"He let me borrow it," Slepnir said, bringing his legs up a little higher. Fenris slid a little closer to lying down, but he stubbornly kept leaning. "He thought I'd like it 'cause it's got magic in it."

"Is it good?"

Slepnir shrugged. "The magic doesn't make much sense. But it's alright."

Fenris craned his neck. He couldn't make out the title; most of it was hidden by Slepnir's knee. "What kind of magic?"

"Weird magic." Slepnir bent forwards a little further, as if trying to use the book to block Fenris's questions.

The front door clicked open, and Narvi's head shot up.

"Mom!" He'd gotten up out of his chair and was at the door before Fenris could even turn around to see who it was. "You're early!"

Sigyn gave him a look that very clearly said she knew he was lying just as much as Fenris did. "I wasn't aware there was a time limit," she said, but her voice was warm, and she hugged Narvi back when he wrapped his arms around her.

Narvi muttered something into her shoulder that Fenris couldn't make out. He let go when Sigyn pulled away, and Sigyn shrugged her coat off.

"I don't know how long I'll stay," she said, looking up and noticing Fenris. "Oh, hello. You two aren't going to get up and say hi?"

"Hi," Fenris said. Sigyn's lips twitched like she was restraining a smile.

"Come on," she said, stepping into the living room. "Slepnir?"

"Hm?" Slepnir was looking at his book with a sort of glazed expression.

Fenris knocked his book away.

"Hey!" Slepnir jolted, looking up at Fenris with anger that melted into surprise when he saw Sigyn. "Oh! Hey!"

"Good book?" Sigyn asked, sounding amused.

"Um - yeah." Slepnir picked it up, sliding awkwardly off the couch and getting to his feet. Fenris very determinedly did not complain about losing Slepnir as a makeshift chair. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Don't worry about it."

"Do we have a guest?" Hermes' voice preceded him into the room. "I didn't think we were expecting any-" He stopped dead just inside the doorway the exact moment Sigyn turned around to look at him. "Oh."

"You!" Sigyn said.

Narvi looked between them, looking somewhat unnerved. "You...know each other?"

" _Yes_ ," Hermes and Sigyn said at the same time, Hermes more snappishly so. Neither of them looked happy about it.

"O...kay..." Narvi glanced sideways at Slepnir and Fenris. Fenris looked at Slepnir, who looked just as bewildered.

"What, who's here?" Loki popped his head into the room, and the rest of him followed quickly. Almost too quietly for Fenris to hear, he muttered, "Shit."

Hermes spun around. "I need to speak with you," he said, through what sounded like gritted teeth. Sigyn made a scoffing, rude-sounding noise.

Loki silently gestured him out of the room, and waited until Hermes had stalked past him to wave briefly at Sigyn and mouth 'Hi' before ducking out of sight again.

"Mom?" Narvi asked tentatively.

"I'm going to go say hello to your brother," Sigyn said abruptly, striding out of the room as well.

All three of them stared after her for a few moments.

"What the fuck was _that_ about," Narvi said eventually.

"I dunno," Slepnir said. "I didn't even know she knew who Hermes _was._ "

Narvi kept frowning at the door. Fenris slumped down on the couch.

Things just had to keep getting complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....Intrigued? I hope so. Comment, please!
> 
> I'd like to make a couple comments on Sigyn, mainly that in The Accidental Vessel I had no idea what I was doing (which is why she didn't appear that often) or much of an idea of her role, mythologically speaking, so...just maybe forget about the scenes she appeared in? I'm trying to be consistent but I also mischaracterized her, so...selective amnesia on the part of my readers is really the only option here.


	32. Finally Someone With Good Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK AND I BRING PLOT DEVELOPMENTS AND FORESHADOWING!
> 
> Woo guys I was productive! I know it hasn't seemed like it from your end of things, but I applied to colleges and stuff! And got into a few places already! AND now I have much more free time to work on writing! :) I'M PRACTICALLY AN ADULT LOOK AT ME BE RESPONSIBLE AND GET SHIT DONE
> 
> And as far as story matters go, maybe reread a little to remind yourself of what's happened...gods know I needed to.
> 
> Sigyn and Hermes...well, I know why they don't like each other, but who tf knows if I'll ever be able to explain it in-story. I'm gonna try, though, pinky-promise. It might take a while, but I'm gonna do it.
> 
> I have woven myself into such a tight corner with some of these characters. Hel is doing something off by herself. Do I know what? No, but it's the only way I can make her recent characterization make sense. I hate writing I just want this story to exist in a perfect, complete form.

Fenris had to creep up close behind Jormungand and Slepnir to try and hear Loki; all three adults were being very quiet, no doubt in an effort not to be eavesdropped on. Luckily, they kept forgetting and raising their voices.

"I didn't know you'd invited her-"

"I didn't know you were going to _be_ here-"

"Oh, both of you shut up," Loki snapped, uncharacteristically frustrated. "I didn't _invite_ Sigyn, but this isn't your house, Hermes! Vali and Narvi are her kids too, she's allowed to come over if she wants. _You-_ " Fenris could picture Loki swiveling around. "-don't live here either!"

"I'm aware," Sigyn retorted. "I'm not the one who started arguing-"

Hermes scoffed and muttered something nearly inaudible about the fifteenth century.

"For fuck's sake, Hermes!" Loki sounded _upset._

"Oh, _real_ _mature,_ " Sigyn said almost simultaneously.

"I'm just saying we all know what happened-"

"And which one of us is being an _asshole_ about it?" Loki interrupted.

Fenris was practically pressed against the wall, but even when he was concentrating on something else, Muriel was hard not to notice. She was standing just out of the line of sight of anyone inside the room, and looked like she might be trying not to be noticed. She raised her eyebrows at Fenris. Fenris started mutely back and hoped she wasn't going snitch on them.

"I'm not trying-" Hermes said defensively, but apparently he could tell whatever he'd been about to say wasn't going to work. Fenris wished he had some way to see inside without being seen. "I _get_ that you don't like to talk about it-"

"Oh, good, a step in the right direction." Loki's tone was bitingly sarcastic. "Step two is _shutting up about it."_

All three of them realized at the same time that Loki was storming out of the room. Fenris, suddenly glad he was at the back, darted towards the living room. He made it out of sight about half a second before Loki would've caught them.

"Now I'm _more_ confused," Jormungand said in an undertone, breathing a little heavily and sprawled on the floor, trying to make it look like he'd laid down purposefully instead of having tripped.

"Tell me about it," Slepnir muttered, as Loki's foosteps faded away. Fenris said nothing at all.

* * *

If any of thought the relationship between Loki and Sigyn was frosty (which they all absolutely had), then Hermes and Sigyn could conjure a miniature version of Niflheim - the realm of unending ice and cold - just by being in the same room together. Granted, they rarely were, and found any number of excuses to neither interact with each other nor acknowledge their existence in any way.

"This is the worst," Narvi said glumly, slumped in the comfier of the two armchairs that had been dragged up to the cupola. Slepnir had called dibs on the other one, which meant Jormungand and Vali were on the window seat, Hel in between them, and Fenris was sitting on the floor."And _this_ time we don't even know what it's about!"

Fenris wasn't under the impression that they really knew what Sigyn and their dad had ever been fighting about, but he wasn't going to bring that up now. He fiddled with the tiny LEGO creation he'd brought, trying to remember what he'd been making. The disadvantage of going away to school was that he couldn't bring things like that with him and they ended up just sitting around or getting broken down for pieces.

"I mean, we know a _little,_ " Slepnir said. "Sort of."

Vali scoffed. He didn't offer his own opinion.

"Hermes said something about the fifteenth century," Jormungand said slowly. "If it was really five hundred years ago, why's Dad still upset about it?"

"Six hundred," Narvi corrected.

"What?"

"The fifteenth century would be the fourteen hundreds. Six hundred years ago."

"My point's still the same," Jormungand muttered.

"No, I'm not - disagreeing." Narvi shifted around uncomfortably. Fenris didn't think the chair was the cause. "I don't like this. Any of this."

"Join the club," Vali said. "What's that gonna do about it?"

"We don't need to _do_ anything, Vali, it's their business and definitely not our job to fix it."

"But," Hel said softly, "none of us can help but wonder."

There was a moment of silence, and then Fenris said, "Are you this dramatic when you talk to dead people?"

Vali snorted, and Hel cracked a smile. "People expect it most of the time," she said, "so generally not. But I was being serious."

"It's not like we can do anything about it," Jormungand said.

"Only 'cause _you_ don't want to read that book you brought," Slepnir muttered.

"What book?" Hel asked.

Slepnir and Jormungand stayed silent.

Narvi looked confused, but his eyes widened after only a moment. "Wait, _that_ book?"

"What book?" Vali demanded.

"The one we asked about," Narvi said, "when Laufey was here. That's the one you mean, isn't it?" The question was directed at Slepnir.

"I _guess,_ but apparently no one wants to actually read it anymore _,_ " Slepnir muttered, giving Fenris and accusatory look. Fenris suddenly discovered a deep interest in the pattern of lines on the floorboards.

"You brought it?" Narvi asked. Fenris glanced up briefly. Narvi was staring at him. "Why didn't you say anything? You came home ages ago!"

"Leave him alone!" Jormungand burst out. "You don't get it!"

"Get what?" Hel asked, looking between Jormungand and Fenris. "Fenris. Is this what you didn't want to talk about?"

"I _don't,_ " Fenris ground out. Hel _had_ to bring that up. He'd only left because she started asking about Hati and Sköll, and they didn't have anything to do with this conversation. "I'm tired of talking about it."

"I'm sorry, when did we _start?_ " Narvi sounded incredulous.

"Dad told us why it happened," Slepnir said. Apparently oblivious to the shocked stares the twins turned on him, he continued, "But _apparently_ it doesn't matter because no one wants to learn anything more about it because apparently everyone remembers except me!" He was yelling by the time he finished, hands clenched into fists and sitting more stiffly than a chair as comfortable as his warranted.

"Since when has dad _talked_ about it-" Vali began, scowling.

"Remembered _what?_ " Narvi demanded simultaneously. Jormungand winced at the noise.

"I don't have to tell you anything," Fenris said angrily, talking over the end of Vali's sentence.

" _Enough,_ " Hel said. Silence fell abruptly. "Arguing will get us nowhere."

Narvi's mouth twisted like he was trying to hold back some choice words. He looked away from Hel.

"I don't see why a book's necessary, anyway," Hel said. "Aren't most of those stories, true or false, online nowadays?"

Fenris looked back down at the floor, awkwardly. He didn't think any of them except the twins really had the hang of the internet, however often they used Netflix or other technology. Stuff like that just made him feel more out of place; reminded him that this time wasn't his own and would never be.

"Half of anything we'd get on Google would be made up by new pagans who think they know what happened because they read some runes," Vali scoffed.

Hel shrugged. "I wouldn't know."

"Why does it matter if we read it?" Jormungand was pressed against the window, and not by lack of space on the window seat. "Didn't we agree it was all probably wrong?"

"If it's wrong, why do you care about reading it?" Narvi retorted.

"I said _enough,_ " Hel said before Jormungand could speak. "We didn't come here to talk about _that._ Whatever this book might say about us, right or wrong, is irrelevant. We were speaking of Sigyn and Hermes."

"Yeah, 'cause _Hermes_ is going to be in Norse mythology," Vali said. Hel elbowed him, making him mutter " _ow_ " sounding surprised, and scoot away as much as the window seat had room for him to.

"I just don't want to," Jormungand muttered.

"Why _not?_ " Narvi sounded frustrated.

"If you're so eager to talk about things we've remembered, why don't we start with you?" Hel asked, leaning forward. There was an edge to her voice that Fenris couldn't put a name to.

Narvi stood up so quickly Fenris barely saw him move.

"Don't," he said, oddly breathlessly. "It's not-" He swallowed, and then turned and rushed down the stairs, leaving Fenris staring after him.

Vali's shoes thudded on the floor. Fenris had barely turned around before Vali was stomping past him, disappearing down the stairs just as quickly as Narvi had.

Fenris stared at Hel, silently asking for an explanation.

"Perhaps that was too far," Hel murmured. She looked startled, as if she hadn't expected Narvi to react so strongly.

"What-" Slepnir began.

"That isn't mine to say," Hel said, before he could get any further. She was frowning at the stairs - or maybe in Narvi's relative direction.

"But-"

"No," Hel said, turning to give him a sharp look, and Fenris decided to make his escape from the conversation and scooted towards the stairs.

* * *

When everyone was at home - including Muriel and Adam and Sigyn and Hel - they tended to congregate together for meals, because Loki liked to cook stuff that took a long time but wafted enticing smells out into the hallways. But Hel, who usually showed up even if she rarely ate anything, was conspicuously absent at dinner, and so were the twins.

Sigyn ate quickly and left early, probably because Hermes was there. Fenris wasn't sure if Loki was talking to either of them or wanted to avoid looking like he was choosing a side, but neither of the other two tried to start a conversation with him. Loki spent the entire time talking to Slepnir, who once encouraged could spend hours talking about things he'd read.

At least it meant Fenris didn't have to talk. He just ate, and side-eyed Muriel as she periodically forgot that she was supposed to be eating, reading some textbook about complicated Transfiguration that Fenris thought looked beyond most seventh-years.

Transfiguration reminded him of Hogwarts, which reminded him of how he'd all but given up on classes. Fenris shoved the thought aside and tried to concentrate on his food. It didn't work.

So much of his time at Hogwarts had passed practically in a blur, except for the twins, and he was just now realizing it. He'd never even really tried at the classes, the magic too unfamiliar for his taste. It wasn't like grades mattered to Fenris, or his dad, but he'd spent so much time there that it felt like a bit of a waste.

Which was how he found himself alone in the room he shared with Loki and his siblings, digging through his school trunk to find the wand he'd left in his robes. The fact that the _Eddas_ book was on top, where Jormungand had presumably left it after also not reading it, only made him pause for a moment.

It was just a book. Fenris shoved it aside, along with all the textbooks he had...also never read. Whoops.

The wand _was_ in his pocket, when he finally found the corner he'd shoved his robes into. Fenris drew it out. The wood was still smooth, if a little duller than he remembered it being. He tried to recall what it was made out of. Unicorn hair was in there somewhere, he was sure of it. Pretty sure, at least.

Fenris looked over when the bathroom door opened. Vali leaned casually against the doorframe. Behind him, the other door gaped open, showing a thin slice of his and Narvi's bedroom. "Whatcha doing?"

"I just forgot some stuff."

"Hogwarts stuff?" Vali looked amused. "What, did you get homework assigned?"

"I might have?" Fenris sat back on his heels. "I don't think I've been doing very well," he confessed.

"Eh, who cares about grades?" Vali shrugged.

" _I_ do," Fenris said. "I think I do, anyway. I don't know."

Vali studied him, as if trying to read Fenris's thoughts just by looking hard enough. Then he gestured over his shoulder. "You wanna play a computer game?"

"What for?"

"When's the last time you did anything just for fun?"

Fenris couldn't remember.

"What kind of game?" He asked. Vali gestured him closer, so Fenris got up and followed him into Vali's room.

Vali's bed, compared to Narvi's, was relatively neat, but it was also just two mattresses stacked on the floor. There was a guitar leaning against the wall, a book left splayed open on the window seat, and a thing with speakers that was probably for playing music tucked under the other bed. A laptop was perched on the end of Vali's mattreses, open to a colorful site.

Vali sat down on the floor next to it, and Fenris followed suit, leaning forward curiously. There was a picture of a little maze, made to look like overgrown brown stones, and little gems in the paths.

"See, you press these keys to try and move this little guy to the door at the other end..." Vali led him through it, making the tiny avatar jump around. The challenge was mazelike, but Fenris could see the whole thing, so it didn't look very hard.

They got past the first level without much difficulty. Vali played as a second tiny person, who was all blue as opposed to being on fire like Fenris's. Fenris got the hang of using the arrow keys simultaneously pretty quick, but the levels kept getting harder and more complicated.

After his little fire person died for the third time, Fenris flopped backwards onto the floor. "I don't wanna play anymore."

"Aw, c'mon." Vali sounded like he was trying not to laugh, which was unfair. "It's not that hard."

"It _is._ You just do it better," Fenris said resentfully. "I don't know computers that well."

"You're gonna have to catch up eventually," Vali said, doing something that made the level reset back to the main screen. "Computers are a pretty big thing now."

"Whatever."

"I'm serious."

"It's not like Hogwarts has computers."

Vali snorted. "Is _that_ why you wanted to go there? I didn't think we were bad enough to drive you off for three-fourths of the year."

"You think that?" Fenris propped himself up on his elbows, frowning.

"I said I _didn't_ , Fen." Vali lifted up his pillow, revealing a package of chocolates hidden underneath, and tossed it at Fenris. "Here. Have a couple, and answer my question."

"You hide chocolate under your pillow?" The package was already open, but about half the chocolates were still left. They were wrapped in shiny foil that had to be a new invention, because Fenris had never seen it before...everything.

"Mom doesn't like it when I smoke," Vali said. "She says she'd rather I eat a ton of chocolate."

"Okay?"

"If I want to smoke, I eat one of those instead," Vali said. "Y'see?"

"Oh." Fenris unwrapped one.

"So? Hogwarts?" Vali closed the laptop. The music stopped, leaving the room more silent than Fenris would have preferred.

"It's not 'cause there's no computers," Fenris said, around the chocolate. He'd forgotten how quickly they got melty in his mouth. "I don't hate computers. I just don't wanna use them."

"No one's _forcing_ you, I was just saying, most people will expect you to know how to use 'em!"

"I _know,_ I just - I like it better," Fenris said. "It's more familiar than here."

Vali arched an eyebrow. "More familiar than home?"

"You know what I mean! It's a big castle in the middle of nowhere!" Vali wasn't stupid, he knew what Fenris was talking about. Irritably, Fenris tore the silver foil into pieces.

"I wouldn't know, actually," Vali said. "I've never lived in a castle. I think I kind of missed that phase of humanity."

"Missed it?"

"Yeah. Like how you missed the Victorian era and all that."

Fenris looked up very sharply. Vali didn't say anything else, but he did reach forward and take a chocolate.

"I thought," Fenris began.

"That you four were the only ones of Dad's kids that Asgard cared about?" Vali's mouth was set in a hard line. He was unwrapping the candy with purposefully careful movements, not tearing it even a little. "I don't think they did care. I think we were just conveniently placed for revenge."

"For what?"

"What do you _think?_ "

"I don't _know,_ because I probably was a _little busy_ when it happened," Fenris snapped, "since I don't remember it happening!"

"Baldr, alright?" Vali snapped back. "Dad killed him and nobody wanted to just sit around on their ass and let him get away with it, and then someone said 'oh hey, he's still got two kids we haven't fucked over yet'!" He looked away, pressing the side of his fisted hand to his mouth, then said "Goddamnit," and knocked away a different pillow. Instead of chocolates, there was a carton of cigarettes.

"Didn't you just say-"

"Shut up, Fenris." Vali yanked one out and snapped his fingers, and the end of the cigarette kindled. He shuffled over the bed to shove one of the windows open, letting in a gust of cold air that was probably freezing to him.

"I didn't know," Fenris said, forcing himself to be quiet. "Dad didn't say anything."

Vali made a sarcastic, grumble-y noise. "Yeah, you mentioned he started feeling all sharey."

"He _didn't._ We made him tell us."

" _Made_ him," Vali scoffed, exhaling a big cloud of smoke.

"We _did,_ " Fenris said, offended. "He only told us _why._ We - Jormungand and me remember enough, so we didn't ask about that."

"Just you and Jor?"

"And Slepnir."

Vali sat in silence for a few moments, leaning up against the window. Fenris had another chocolate, because he wasn't sure if Vali was mad enough to not share anymore.

"What'd he say?" Vali asked eventually.

"There was a prophecy," Fenris said. "About the end of the world. And us. Some of us," he amended. When Vali said nothing, Fenris continued. "I'm supposed to end up killing Odin during Ragnarok."

"Well, good luck with that," Vali said, taking his cigarette out to toast Fenris with it. He didn't sound sarcastic. He blew out a stream of smoke, and then said gruffly, "Sorry. That was inappropriate."

"Not really," said Fenris. If it hadn't involved being enchanted and stuff, his 'destiny' sounded highly agreeable. "I wouldn't mind."

"Killing isn't a 'wouldn't mind doing it' kind of thing," Vali said.

"What do you know?"

Vali gave him a flat, angry look. Wisely, Fenris said nothing else.

"You think the prophecy's in that book?" Vali asked, after he'd taken a few long drags.

"Why would any human know it?" Fenris asked back, instead of answering.

"I don't know, how did any humans find out any of the true stories?"

"Dad?" Fenris suggested. Vali snorted. "Why d'you want to know?"

"Don't you ever get tired of learning everything from Dad?" Vali shifted away from the window as another breeze chilled the room. "I'm not saying he'd lie to us, but there's no way he'd do a complete 180 and tell us _everything._ "

"I don't know what that means," Fenris told him, annoyed.

Vali gestured vaguely, cigarette smoke trailing from it as he did. "Turning around the other way. Switching his ideas completely. Point is, it's not happening and not gonna."

"I didn't say that-"

"I _know_ , I'm just pointing it out. Why does every conversation with you have to be an argument?"

Stung, Fenris opened his mouth - to argue. He closed it again without saying anything.

"I don't know if I want to know more than I already do," he said eventually, leaning against the stacked mattresses and stretching his legs out in front of him.

"What _do_ you remember?"

That was _not_ any of Vali's business. But he had told Fenris about Baldr, and sort of about what had happened to him and Narvi.

"Not a lot," Fenris said. "It doesn't really make sense. And I don't like it." He hesitated, and said, "I - met someone. Who knew me then."

"Then, as in...?" Vali didn't specify, but they both knew what he was asking.

"Yeah."

"Goddamn," Vali said. "Well - not a god, obviously."

"No," Fenris said. "I don't - I'm not sure if I can trust him. But I know he's right. But I don't like being around him because it reminds me of then." Everything was pouring out of him in a rush. "And ever since then I keep remembering things and I _try_ not to but-"

"Hold the fuck up," Vali interrupted. " _Try_ not to? _Fen._ You can't just refuse to remember stuff!"

Fenris settled for giving Vali a dirty look.

"I'm _serious,_ " Vali said, scooting down the bed towards him. "Have you been getting headaches?"

"Why?" Fenris asked warily. He wasn't about to admit that he _had_ been.

"Because-" Vali made a frustrated noise. "You're _going_ to remember at some point. You're just making it worse-"

"How do you know?" Fenris demanded.

"Because I remember every single fucking second of what happened to me and I really, really wish I didn't," Vali growled. "But at least I know what I'm dealing with! If you'd rather have nightmares for the rest of your life, then fine! Don't listen to me!"

Fenris leaned away from Vali before he even realized he was doing it. "Why do you always have to yell?" He asked plaintively.

Vali looked startled. Some of the stiff anger fell away from his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Vali said. "I just don't want you to be stupid like I was."

"I'm fine," Fenris mumbled.

"Uh huh," Vali said skeptically.

"You seem okay to me, too."

"That's because I've had about three hundred years longer than you've had to get over myself and suck it up," Vali said. "Look - Fen, I'm not promising a miracle. But if you never do anything about this, it's never gonna get better."

"Asgard is _still_ after us and you think I think things are getting _better?_ "

"I'm not _talking_ about-" Vali closed his eyes, and took another long drag on his cigarette. When he spoke again it was a lot quieter. "I'm talking about you, not Asgard. Fuck Asgard. We're on a whole different world tree, and the Bifrost only goes so far. If anything, you're just letting what they did get to you."

"I am not!" Fenris almost recoiled.

"It's _his_ spell, which you know perfectly well! Hel got rid of all that magic and you're still hanging on to the tiniest traces because you don't wanna deal with it. I _get_ it. I did the same damn thing which is why I'm telling _you_ not to!"

"Don't tell me what to do-"

"You're being a _brat._ "

Fenris got up and did _not_ run back into his room. He did slam the door behind him as loud as he could.

It wasn't any of Vali's business.

But he had sounded like he really meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I'm not saying anything about Vali and Narvi, but I am gonna remind you that way back in the Accidental Vessel when they were introduced, Gabriel's first reaction was to be surprised that they were alive. That's all.
> 
> At least Vali is being sensible about all this. Not that he necessarily has the greatest way of coping or is the most calming person to talk to. He and Fenris are very much alike, in certain ways, one being that they're both kinda angry people.


	33. Something's Up (Plus, Gifts)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, plot development! I assume you guys liked the last chapter?
> 
> More Things™ happen in this chapter, luckily! I'm trying to make them a little longer. I realize I always make the breaks away from Hogwarts much longer, but bear with me, his home life is just more interesting! Besides, once we get back to Hogwarts...well, I won't spoil it for you.

Scully wouldn't climb the spiral staircase that lead to the cupola, so Fenris went up alone.

He'd had a headache all day, like Vali's words had triggered something. Not that there had been much of the day left. The sun had already gone down by the time Fenris settled into the comfier of the two armchairs that Loki had probably magicked up as opposed to hauling them up the stairs.

Fenris rubbed irritably at his forehead. The lights were off, and the sun was down; there was only a faint yellowish glow from downstairs. He'd heard somewhere, probably from Adam, that headaches were sometimes just because you hadn't eaten or drunk enough, but he had a suspicion that having something to eat wasn't going to solve his problem. Also eating would involve going downstairs, and he might run into someone. Scratch that, he _would._ The house was big, but not quite big enough to avoid people.

The sky outside seemed plenty dark, but it managed to get darker. The only thing easily visible through the windows was the light from neighboring houses, flickering through the leaves of the trees that surrounded the yard.

Fenris kept drifting off and then jerking back awake and upright. The armchair was really comfortable; maybe he should move. But he was too tired, and he could keep himself from falling asleep.

_He was running from something_

_He couldn't see who it was, but he knew he couldn't let them catch him. Someone else was running with him, a small lithe shape keeping pace at his side.  
_

_He was running through some kind of meadow, but that didn't make sense. The grass was tall enough to reach over his head, and the wide, bushy heads were supported by brown stalks that made them look like trees.  
_

_That wasn't right._

_They_ were _trees._

_Branches creaked as Fenris forced his way past. His friend was a tiny shape next to him. Fenris slowed down. He didn't want to lose whoever it was._

_"What are you doing?" They shouted - in a familiar voice. Sköll? "Keep going!"_

_Something crashed in the forest.A shape a little bigger than Sköll blundered through, like it didn't belong there. Not an animal.  
_

Fenris snapped his eyes open.

The darkness didn't make sense to him at first - where had Sköll gone? And his pursuer? But when he tightened his hands Fenris felt the smooth material of the chair under his fingers.

It had been a dream.

Maybe.

"Fen?" Someone called. Fenris almost jumped out of his skin in surprise. The lights from downstairs were almost completely gone, but a moment later Loki's head poked up from the staircase, and the rest of him followed.

"Oh, there you are," Loki said. "What are you doing up here? It's almost midnight."

"I fell asleep," Fenris said. He realized he was gripping the arms of the chair tightly and quickly let go.

"You wanna try doing that in an actual bed?" Loki suggested, sounding a little amused.

"No!" Fenris blurted out. "I mean - I'm not tired."

"Neither am I." Loki sat down in the other chair. He didn't turn on any lights, so Fenris couldn't make out much of his face. "It's been a weird day."

"Yeah," muttered Fenris, without thinking.

"Feel like sharing?"

"Not really."

"Okay." Loki seemed completely prepared to sit in silence. Fenris got antsy before more than half a minute passed.

"Was it Hermes and Sigyn?"

"What?"

"You said you had a weird day. I - it's not the same thing for me." Because that was impossible.

"It was related to them, yeah," Loki admitted, after a moment of thoughtful silence. "I think Muriel's temporarily ditched us for Hogwarts, to avoid the craziness."

"It's not crazy," Fenris said. "It just doesn't make sense."

"Yeah? How come?"

"I didn't even know they _knew_ each other," Fenris said. "And they're both nice so I don't get why they don't like each other, and whatever they argued about was so long ago-"

"You seem very knowledgeable about this," Loki said.

Fenris flushed, and shut his mouth. Loki was usually not very strict, but that didn't mean he'd appreciate knowing Fenris had been eavesdropping.

"Oh, it's fine, I can guess how you know," Loki said dismissively. Fenris could hear him shifting around. "It's not like we were being very quiet."

"What _is_ it about?" Fenris asked, tired enough to have lost any compunctions he had about asking.

"They had a large disagreement," Loki said. "They haven't seen each other since, so they haven't really bothered with sorting it all out. Ergo...the shouting." He did not, Fenris noticed, explain what exactly they'd disagreed about, or how _he_ was involved in it.

"What's 'ergo' mean?" Fenris curled up in the chair, trying to find a more comfortable position.

"It's a transition word. First thing happens, so second thing happens. This, ergo, that. Does that make sense?"

"I guess."

Loki moved on to some other topic. Fenris tried to pay attention, but it was dark and the chair was very comfortable, and he was already sort of lying down...

He drifted back to awareness once, when someone kicked his leg. A blanket was settling over him, like someone had only just pulled it up over him with a flourish. Jormungand's curly hair was only an inch away from his face.

Fenris sat up abruptly. Loki was still in the room, but his back was to the bed.

"Don't leave!"

"Shhh!" Loki turned around. "I'm just putting pj's on. I'm not going anywhere."

Fenris didn't sit back down. Loki tossed his jacket over the back of a chair and briefly disappeared into the closet to exchange his jeans for softer sweatpants. He maneuvered very carefully around Jormungand, who would've slept like a log even if someone had stepped on him, to lay down next to Fenris.

"What's got you so nervous tonight?" Loki asked in a soft voice. Slepnir, on Fenris's other side, turned over and made a sleepy noise. Fenris lay down too, curling one arm under his head. "Did something happen?"

Fenris wanted to nod, but he didn't. He wanted to scoot closer, but there was a lingering jitteriness from the dream - or memory - that made him feel like there was more where it came from. He didn't know _what_ to do.

"Tonight's just not a good night, huh," Loki said. Fenris shook his head. "Try to sleep, okay?

"Don't leave," Fenris said quietly.

"I'm not gonna."

"You're always gone when I wake up."

"I promise not to be this time. Okay?"

Fenris nodded _._ His eyelids felt like they were being weighed down; but Loki promised, so he let them slide shut.

_He couldn't talk._

_It was_ frustrating, _he could move his mouth now but all that came out was growling. He wanted to_ speak _, to say things, but whenever he tried his mouth hurt and it didn't work and Sköll lost her temper at him for saying nonsense again.  
_

_It wasn't fair. They were so tiny, compared to him. He should have been better._

_His legs hurt. Sköll and Hati were curled up next to his chest, so Fenris stretched out all four legs very carefully, claws scraping across the stone of the quarry. It was the only protected place they'd found big enough for him to lie down comfortably._

_He felt them stir anyway. Hati slunk out into view, stretching himself. It was a new moon, so for once they were both sleeping at the same time, but Fenris wasn't surprised that Hati had woken so easily._

_Hati trotted up to sprawl on his side by Fenris's head. Something in Fenris's chest knotted when he saw the faintly red, furless lines on Hati's side._

_He'd never wanted to hurt anyone._

_Except Odin. And Tyr. He definitely wanted to hurt them, now if not before. And whoever else in Asgard who'd helped them, who'd stood idly by while he was forced to suffer through_ this _. But not Hati and Sköll. They'd only ever tried to help.  
_

_A thin cord wound around his legs and pulled tight._

_Fenris snarled. The quarry was gone. There was snarling and growling that wasn't coming from him. A person, hot and heavy, was sprawled across his muzzle, clinging desperately to keep his mouth shut._

_Fenris kicked out, biting and snapping. He was_ not _going to be chained up and forgotten-_

He kicked out with a foot that felt odd and got a hissed "ow" in response.

That wasn't right. His claws-

"Shh, shh," someone said. Fenris lashed out blindly, barely registering what he'd said or who it was. Someone was holding him but he wasn't going to just sit there and let it happen!

" _Ow -_ Fen, shush, it's _me._ " The hands were quickly withdrawn. Fenris forced himself to stop and look.

He was in bed. He was home and there was no quarry or danger. There was nothing tying him down. There was nothing there. Just Loki, slightly sleep-rumpled and holding his hands up as a shield.

Fenris flexed his hands and tried not to remember what claws felt like. It didn't work.

Loki very gently touched his head, stroking a hand through his hair. Fenris twitched at first, but the repetitive movement was calming and not in the least threatening, not like what he'd dreamed (remembered, maybe). It gave him an excuse to close his eyes and not look at Loki.

He knew, objectively, why his dad got upset over these incidents, but it wasn't like that was really the first thing Fenris wanted to see when he woke up.

There was silence from behind him, the kind of silence that meant someone was awake and pretending to be asleep. He'd woken up Slepnir. Great.

"You want cocoa?" Loki asked, very softly; barely more than a whisper. Fenris shook his head. When Loki didn't say anything else, he opened his eyes.

The room was full of soft moonlight and a faint yellow glow from the lights in the hallway, shining through the open door. Loki's expression was inscrutable and half in shadow.

"Just try to sleep," he murmured when he saw Fenris looking. Fenris didn't think that was really a key part of solving the nightmare problem, but he didn't have any better ideas, and apparently neither did his dad.

Despite the twitchy desire in the back of his mind to stay awake forever, Fenris couldn't really argue, even if repeated incidents had never done anything to help yet.

_The moon was shining down on them through the trees. Sköll was curled into a tight ball, but Hati's face was lifted up. He was staring at the sky, tail twitching like he wanted to be moving._

_It took him a moment to notice Fenris watching him. "Don't look at me like that," he said. "I'm not going to leave."_

_Fenris didn't think Hati was obligated to stay. He said as much, or tried to; it came out as a rumbling growl, but Hati understood, of course._

_"I'm not going to leave. Sköll's asleep, you need someone to keep an eye out. Besides you," he added, as if knowing what Fenris was going to argue. Sköll's ears twitched, as if she could tell she was being discussed. "It's fine. I'll live. I can still see him, anyway."_

_Fenris personally thought Hati and Sköll took their vaguely obsessive adorations of Máni and Sol a little too far, but he wasn't going to say that. At this point, he didn't think he wanted to know how they'd react to being told how most people thought that particular arrangement went._

_He debated trying to speak again, but he didn't really want to hear himself. Even if he knew to expect it now, it was still - he didn't like it.  
_

_"And don't say you can guard yourself, either," Hati said, unaware that Fenris had mentally moved on. He stood up and padded over to curl up next to Fenris's head. Fenris squinted as Hati's fur almost poked into his eye. Hati seemed unaware of it. "You have to sleep, too. We've been walking for ages."_

_They had to keep moving, and Hati knew that perfectly well. Fenris said so before he could think better of it. Or tried to, anyway._

_Hati, also unaware or purposefully ignoring Fenris's discomfort with talking like a wolf, said "We can rest, you know, it's not outlawed. Asgard might try, but there's no point to a law they can't enforce. Go the fuck to sleep."_

_It was nice to be able to lie down, Fenris supposed. He closed his eyes._

Fenris opened his eyes, vaguely wondering when he'd closed them. He was facing the other side of the bed, and wintry sunlight poured through the glass balcony doors. He blinked a couple of times, trying to reorient.

He'd fallen asleep. And dreamed. And he'd woken up...relatively calmly?

That was new.

Fenris squirmed and turned over under the blanket. Slepnir's side was empty, but Loki was still there. He looked like he was still asleep, sprawled on his stomach with his arms curled under his pillow. His hair had flopped over his face.

Fenris poked his cheek. Lightly. Loki cracked one eye open.

"I'm _sure_ you're not trying to wake me up this early," he grumbled, not moving except to close his eye again.

"It's not that early," Fenris said. "I don't think. Slepnir's already up." There was a clock on the bedside table, or at least there was supposed to be; he could've turned around to look at it, but he didn't. He felt warm and comfortable, like he could stay where he was forever and be happy.

"Oh, _Slepnir's_ up." Loki rolled onto his side, stretching his arms as far up as he could without hitting the headboard and making the kind of groan universal to someone who'd just been woken up. "Okay, if I must. I guess we are the last ones awake."

"Jormungand's up?" Fenris couldn't see anything behind Loki, but he'd thought Jormungand was just being very quiet. It must be _late,_ if Jormungand was already awake.

"Guess so. There's nobody else here. Guess they got tired of sitting around waiting for us to wake up." Loki grinned and rubbed Fenris's shoulder a little roughly, leaning forward to drop a loud kiss onto his head. "Mwah. You get to sleep okay?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. You think we should get up and have breakfast? I've heard it's the most important meal of the day."

"Says who?" Meals were ranked in order of importance now?

"Scientists?" Loki guessed. "I'm sure there's some reason for it."

Fenris thought for a moment.

"Will you make chocolate chip pancakes?" You could put chocolate in anything, now. Sometimes the future was pretty cool.

"Absolutely."

* * *

There was a lingering smell of coffee in the kitchen that suggested Adam had been there; Sigyn was at the table with a cup of it, Slepnir next to her. The remains of some toast - and a _lot_ of crumbs - were scattered over his plate and half the table.

"Oh boy, toast and coffee," Loki said. "Is this what people are left with when I'm not around to cook?"

"Are you cooking?" Slepnir perked up a little. Sigyn said nothing, but Fenris saw her smile a tiny bit. To all appearances, though, she had barely noticed Loki enter.

"Depends. D'you think pancakes count as cooking or baking?" Loki circled the table to get into the pantry.

"There's a difference?" Fenris asked, sitting down. "I thought they meant the same thing."

"Baking is desserts and stuff," Slepnir told him. "Cooking is regular food." He glanced at Sigyn, as if trying to see if he'd got it right.

"Why can't there be the same word for both? Food is food," Fenris said.

"Yeah, but they're usually different," Slepnir said. "Cakes and stuff. It's all about the same."

"Pudding is dessert," Fenris pointed out. "That's nothing like cake."

Slepnir frowned contemplatively. "English pudding or American pudding?"

" _Dessert_ pudding. The kind you eat, not the kind that means dessert."

"Oh! Well, yeah, I guess. But it's still dessert."

"You bake bread," Sigyn volunteered. Fenris pointed at her.

"See? There's no reason for it! You might as well have a word just for making soup or something."

Sigyn was smiling again, amused. Fenris felt strangely flattered.

"I think we all long ago agreed that English was a ridiculous language," Loki said, emerging from the pantry. "Also, why's the pancake mix hidden inside an empty box of popcorn?"

Fenris shrugged. Slepnir looked similarly blank.

"I swear this house is gaining sentience and moving things around behind my back," Loki said. "That, or someone thinks they're being funny."

"Or doesn't like pancakes," Sigyn muttered. She had to scoot in her chair to give Loki enough space at the stove.

"Ha! Maybe."

Fenris was pretty sure this was the longest he'd seen them speak to each other in ages.

There was frost on the sole kitchen window, which was sandwiched into the only cabinet-free wall space. Fenris watched faint sunlight play off the patterns, occasionally leaning to look around Loki's head.

"Why _is_ there a difference between cooking and baking?" Slepnir asked.

"Oh, I dunno," Loki said. "Maybe someone decided there should be but it didn't catch on with everyone and only worked half as well as intended."

The hiss of oil in the pan and the smell of the batter cooking made Fenris's stomach growl expectantly. When he'd first been introduced to all the changes that had happened without his knowledge, he'd been startled by the sheer variety of food. But that was a good change, at least. Food was good. Chocolate was _especially_ good.

By the time Loki had finished, Narvi had wandered into the kitchen, drawn by the smell, and taken the last empty seat at the table. It was more people than were usually together for breakfast, mostly because the kitchen only had so much space, as one of the smaller rooms of the house.

Loki slipped out of the room once they'd all started eating (save Sigyn, who'd probably been awake for like three hours and already had something). Fenris only sort of noticed, but when Loki came back in he dropped a colorfully wrapped box next to each of their plates.

"Really?" He said, when Fenris and Slepnir only paused in surprise. Narvi picked up his and rattled it. "Haven't you been keeping track? It's Christmas eve. You get one today and the rest tomorrow."

Slepnir immediately dropped his silverware and started picking at the tape on his. Fenris actually paused to try and wipe the syrup off his hands. His was wrapped in dark blue paper with shiny gold stars, and he carefully tried not to tear it. It probably wasn't _real_ gold, but he wanted to keep it.

The present was a rectangular box made out of smooth wood, patterned like a rug except for the edges, which were a lighter brown color. The edges were rounded a little bit, and when Fenris rattled it he could hear something inside - but he couldn't see how to open it.

"It's a puzzle box," Loki said, when Fenris tried to pry one of the square ends open. "There's a bunch of little steps to get it open. The puzzle part is that there are no instructions."

"I thought you'd pretty much stopped celebrating Christmas," Sigyn commented, while Fenris puzzled over how he was supposed to solve a _box_ and what the first step could possibly be.

"There's no tree," Loki pointed out, and then cast a mischievous look at the rest of them. "But if you guys would rather _we_ didn't anymore I can take those back-"

" _No,_ " Slepnir said, affronted, clutching his new toy to his chest. It looked like a bunch of little plastic balls to Fenris, but he remembered that Slepnir had a bunch of them already, and if you did...something with them the balls opened up to be little dragon creatures or something. Narvi was carefully prying open the plastic packaging of three colorful guitar picks, which Fenris would not have been able to identify if what they were hadn't been written on the package.

"That's what I thought." Loki leaned against the counter. "Try pushing, Fenris, I think it's supposed to slide open."

Pushing resulted in him managing to slide one of the square ends a tiny bit to the right, but it wouldn't go very far. The box wasn't even _technically_ open yet. _More_ pushing meant that Fenris learned that the box was put together in little stripes of wood, like the floorboards, and one of them slid out of place a little bit, which let him push the square side open a little further.

And then it steadfastly refused to move again.

The box kept puzzling him for hours. Fenris did _not_ throw it at a wall in frustration, because that might have broken it. He slid everything back into place - he could probably remember how to re-open it as far as he'd gotten - and put it in the deep pockets of the hoodie he'd borrowed from Jormungand.

* * *

"These are _so cool,_ " Jormungand said, enthusiastically scribbling with 'paint markers'. Fenris peered over her shoulder, and conceded that it _was_ pretty cool to draw in gold and silver. The future had gold and silver everywhere. Fenris wondered whether that made the actual stuff less valuable (probably not? It seemed like a question for Loki).

"Draw a shell," he said.

"Why?"

"It would look cool in silver."

Jormungand shrugged, and drew a spiral which she turned into a pretty nice shell. It turned out spirals could be turned into lots of different shells, because she kept drawing more. Fenris sat down in the chair next to hers. Jormungand's drawing table in the sun room had a lot of chairs, but usually it was just her back there.

Her whole page was covered in doodles and swirly lines in gold and silver. She'd been drawing for a while, seemingly not worrying about the markers running out. They made thick lines that shone in the right light, even when they were dry.

"What are you gonna draw with them?" Fenris asked. "Like a real drawing?"

"This counts as real drawing," Jormungand said, a little petulantly."And I dunno. I just wanted to see how it would look on paper."

It was probably an artist thing, Fenris decided.

"Besides, I like painting too," Jormungand added. "I might draw over some paint and see what happens."

"Wouldn't it be just like using paint? It's called a _paint_ marker," Fenris pointed out.

"Yeah, that's why I thought of it."

Fenris glanced at the little metal rack where Jormungand kept stuff. All the shelves were filled, and he couldn't see anything much of the individual pieces. The one on the top was upside down, probably to keep anyone from looking.

"Are you gonna draw on any of those?"

"No," Jormungand said, like it should have been obvious. "Those are _done._ " She glanced at him. "Did you know dad's inviting people over tonight?"

"What? What for?" Fenris let the change of topic slide.

"For Christmas, duh. Other people _do_ celebrate it."

"Like, inviting them _here?_ "

" _Yes,_ " Jormungand said. "I think it's only like two more people though. Dad doesn't have a lot of adult friends who can get here easily." Fenris almost objected, and then remembered the whole separate-world-tree issue. Right. Crossing worlds was not that easy, even if Loki made it look like it was. "I think he wanted to ask you something about it, actually."

"Me? Why?"

Jormungand shrugged. "Dunno."

* * *

"Oh, yeah! Thanks for reminding me," Loki said, when Fenris asked. "I was gonna ask, since Luna's coming over, if you wanted her to bring the twins."

"You invited Luna?"

"I'm allowed to have friends," Loki said, bopping Fenris lightly on the head. "She is one of them. And _you_ have friends too, who I thought you might want to see."

If Luna was already coming, then the twins probably would know why. If he didn't invite them, they'd wonder why he didn't want to see them. And even though they'd parted on okay terms, he'd been cold and pushed them away for ages before that. He didn't want them to think they weren't friends anymore.

"Okay," he said.

"Okay? That's it? What a rousing declaration of support for this plan. Are you sure you're not bowing to parent pressure?"

Fenris pushed Loki playfully, and Loki allowed himself to be pushed, laughing.

"I _do_ want to see them," Fenris said, trying to sound certain. What did certainty sound like? "You could've asked me before the actual day they're supposed to come."

"Slipped my mind," Loki said. "While you're here, I was gonna make a dessert or something, since, y'know, guests expect food. I may or may not need a taste-tester."

Fenris pretended to consider it. "Are you making frosting for anything?"

"Frosting could be entered into the bargain."

"Okay, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna extend this chapter to include the party, but I think it's plenty long without! Comment, please!
> 
> (Also, [this](http://mypuzzlecollection.blogspot.com/2011/11/japanese-puzzle-boxes.html) is what Fenris's puzzle box looks like!I based it off one my grandma has...he may never solve it in-story because I can't remember all the steps)


	34. Parties and Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am updating so fast look at me go
> 
> Yeah boy the twins are back and we didn't even need to go to Hogwarts to see them! And yes, the kids are sweethearts. I was trying to make that last chapter a little more lighthearted...enjoy it while it lasts.
> 
> Lillian and Lysander in Fenris's house makes for a lot of interesting possibilities :)

"Fenris, your friends are here!"

Fenris almost dropped his entire hand of cards.

"Coming!" He shouted. Jormungand watched with amusement as he scrambled to hold onto all of them without showing her any.

"You're nervous," she remarked. "D'you want me to go downstairs with you or something?"

"I don't need a _chaperone,_ " Fenris said, clutching his cards.

"Okay, fine," Jormungand said. She waited a second while Fenris shoved his cards back into the deck, and said, "But do you want me to?"

"...Yes."

Jormungand ditched her own cards and went to lean over the railing that bordered the hallway so she could shout into the foyer. "He's coming! Oh, you're right there."

" _Jormungand,_ " Fenris hissed. Jormungand just giggled and went for the staircase. Fenris did not _quite_ chase her down them, but they were definitely running and Jormungand was certainly in front of him.

Gabriel and Luna were in the foyer. Luna was staring up at the skylights with a very odd pair of glasses on and a silvery, kind of frilly dress. The twins, both in significantly less fancy outfits, were lurking behind her. Lillian brightened when she saw Fenris.

"Hi," Fenris said, at a loss for anything better to say without pausing to think and looking stupid.

"Hello, Fabian," Luna said, without looking down. Fenris wondered if she realized that wasn't his name. Lillian was looking in between him and Jormungand like she wasn't sure who was who.

"Whoa," she said. "You're like, the same person."

Fenris looked at Jormungand, bewildered. Jormungand looked back.

"We are _not,_ " Fenris said. Sure, they had the same dark skin and curly hair, but they didn't even have the same eye color.

"Besides, I'm a girl," Jormungand said.

"Lillian's a girl and we're _twins,_ " Lysander pointed out.

"I'm way older than Fenris," Jormungand said dismissively.

"I'm not that young," Fenris muttered.

"That depends on the scale you're using," Loki commented. "Really quick, Fen, d'you know where your sister is?"

Fenris pointed at Jormungand. Simultaneously, Jormungand raised her hand.

"Very funny," Loki said, but he grinned despite the sarcasm. "The other one. She went out earlier and I dunno if she came back and I just didn't notice."

Fenris shrugged, already backing towards the staircase. "I can check."

Loki gave him a thumbs up. Fenris gestured at the twins. "C'mon, you come too."

"Your house is _huge,_ " Lysander said, as they climbed the stairs.

"Well, there's a lot of us," Jormungand said.

"Your dad and the three of you?"

"Six," Fenris corrected. "I have three brothers."

"That's _ridiculous,_ " Lillian protested. "Who has that many siblings?"

"The Weasleys," Lysander reminded her. "Remember? Mum was talking to Charlie Weasley who's got five brothers and a sister. So there's seven of them."

"And there's Hermes," Jormungand added thoughtfully, pausing at the top of the stairs. "Here, I mean, not with the Weasleys."

"Hermes is a Greek name," Lillian said, frowning, as Fenris crossed the hallway to knock on Hel's door.

"Yeah, he's Greek," Fenris said. There wasn't an answer to the knock, so he opened it a crack and peered inside. The lights were off. No sign of Hel. "He's dad's friend."

" _Seriously?_ " Lillian demanded. "I thought it was just you guys! Greek gods are real, too?"

"Why are you so surprised? Of course there's more than just us, have you _seen_ how big the world is?" Fenris said, turning around to lean over the railing and yell down at his dad. "Dad, she's not here!"

"Okay, thanks!" Loki shouted back up. Luna had taken off her weird pink glasses and had propped them on top of her head.

"I'm not used to this stuff like you are!" Lillian said. "And what does the size of the world have to do with it?"

"Why is everyone yelling?" Vali poked his head out of his room to irritably yell.

"You're yelling too!" Fenris yelled back.

"Are those the other twins?" Narvi called, leaning out from behind Vali.

"Yeah!"

"Oh!" Jormungand said. "We forgot Sigyn. Sigyn's here too."

"Who's Sigyn?" Lysander asked.

"Their mom."

"This is too many names at once," Lillian sighed. "Wouldn't their mum be your mum, too?"

"No," Fenris said. When he got blank looks from the twins, he elaborated. "Vali and Narvi are only my half brothers."

"Ohhh," Lysander said. "That explains why you don't look like each other."

Lillian squinted at the twins as they disappeared back into their room. "That's only two. You said you had three brothers."

Fenris leaned over the railing again. "Dad, where's Slepnir?" He shouted.

"I think he's outside with Scully!"

"I'll go get him," Jormungand said, not giving Fenris time to say anything before she made for the staircase and quickly vanished.

"Um," Fenris said, at a loss for what to do.

"Why do so many people live here?" Lillian asked. "Aside from like, you and your dad and siblings."

"That's how things work?" Fenris said. "They're all family one way or another. Except for Adam. He's human. I dunno why dad invited him to stay but he hasn't left so I've gotten sort of used to him. Usually he's away at school, though."

"You have a wizard living here?" Lysander looked surprised.

"No, Adam's not magical," Fenris explained. "He's completely normal. He goes to some medical school in London 'cause he wants to be a doctor."

"That _is_ weird," Lillian said. "And maybe illegal if you ask the Ministry. Wait, I have another question, what _does_ the size of the world have to do with the number of gods in it?"

"We can't be everywhere at once," Fenris told her. "Dad could maybe try, but people living in different places have different gods. It used to be a lot harder to talk to people far away so they all had their own different pantheons. Like...obviously people in China don't worship us because we're nowhere near China."

"But aren't there other realms and stuff? You could get anywhere from those, right?" Lysander asked.

"Not necessarily," Fenris said. "It's - I dunno _why_ it's that way but it is." This would be easier if he could try to explain in Norse, not English. "Dad would probably be able to explain better."

"Alright, then," Lillian said, sounding a little disappointed.

There was a sudden flurry of barking from downstairs, and the rapid click-click-click of dog claws on the floorboards. Fenris darted for the staircase, and he could hear Lillian and Lysander follow him.

Scully was jumping enthusiastically around Luna, leaving little wet marks on the hem of her dress, and nearly shook herself apart in delight when she saw the twins. Slepnir was still wearing his boots and leaving wet footprints all over. Lysander backed away when Scully tried to jump on him.

"Scully, _down,_ " Loki said. Scully planted her butt on the floor and whined, tail still frantically wagging.

"She really likes people," Fenris said. "She doesn't bite, I promise."

"She is kinda wet, though," Slepnir said. "The snow's really deep."

"It's been snowing a lot recently," Luna said. "I think it's because of Britain's lack of Thunderbirds. Daddy disagrees, but you know they live out in places like Arizona, and there's never any snow there."

"Thunderbirds _make_ storms, though," Loki pointed out.

"I know," Luna said. "They make thunderstorms. It can hardly snow if there's already a storm, can it?"

Loki snorted. "Not unless it's _really_ cold. I've seen some strange weather before."

"Even so, not like this."

"You have me there." They were drifting away from the group towards the dining room, probably to give either themselves or Fenris and the rest some privacy.

Slepnir sidled over to Fenris. "Are you going to tell me their names?" He asked. "I can't tell which one's which."

"Lillian's the one with the ponytail," Fenris said, making Lillian look up from petting Scully.

"Lysander has enough hair to make a ponytail if he tried," she said, standing up. "You're Slepnir, right? There are a lot of you and I've only just learned some of your names."

"Yeah," Slepnir said, side-eyeing Fenris. "Did you just never say anything about us?"

"It never came up," Fenris protested.

"Sure," Slepnir said skeptically, but then shrugged and walked away.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm putting my boots away."

"You're still _wearing_ them," Jormungand said.

"If I take them off, they'll drip and get my socks wet," Slepnir said, as if it should have been obvious. Scully got up to trot after him, heedless of the foot-shaped puddles. Fenris stepped around them a little more carefully as he followed.

"You're getting _my_ socks wet," Jormungand complained. "It's too hard to tell where the water is!"

"Don't follow me, then."

"Whoa," Lysander said. "Is that a sword?"

All three of them looked over.

"It's a toy," Fenris said. Lillian was already picking up the wooden sword that someone had left out.

"Cool," she said, swinging it around to point at Lysander. "Is there another one?" Scully padded out of the room, probably going to find Loki.

"I'm not gonna swordfight you, Lillian," Lysander said.

"It's only _wood,_ c'mon."

"We've got a couple," Fenris said. "They're not all the same kind, though."

"The same kind of what, sword? A sword's a sword," Lillian said. Slepnir scoffed, and she swung around to look at him. "What?"

"You can't use every kind of sword the same way," he said, pulling off his boots and crossing the living room. "Hold on - oh, hi, Adam."

Fenris had _not_ noticed Adam in the big recliner by the windows. Judging by the way the twins spun around, they hadn't either.

"Hey," Adam said absently. He was reading another one of the small, colorful books Fenris always saw him with. "If you're going to fight each other please don't do it near me."

"I'm just demonstrating." Slepnir drew out a different one - a more modern kind, not like the plain one Lillian had. Sword handles had gotten a lot fancier, before they went out of style entirely (which was just unfortunate). "You can't use this one the same as a broadsword."

"This is a broadsword?" Lillian looked down at hers skeptically.

"Well, it's made of wood, but yes."

"It doesn't seem like one."

"How many hands are you using?" Jormungand asked. Lillian looked down.

"Two?"

"It's a broadsword."

"Actually it's the blade - nevermind," Slepnir said. "Yes, it's a broadsword. This is a much newer kind, I don't remember what it's called." He held his up. The blade was much narrower than the broadsword's. "I never got the chance to use this kind, but I think I figured it out pretty well."

"What do you mean you didn't - hey!" Lillian dodged Slepnir's quick thrust, which didn't really go close enough to hit her.

"Also you're only supposed to use one hand with that," Slepnir added.

Fenris leaned back out into the hallway as Slepnir kept talking. Loki and Luna were still in the dining room, and Hel and Muriel were still gone; but he wondered where Hermes and Sigyn were. Probably nowhere near each other. Sigyn's usual bedroom was upstairs - maybe she just hadn't come down yet.

"You're taking this so seriously!" Lillian said behind him, accompanied by the clack of wooden blades.

"When I was kid it was a serious thing!" Slepnir protested. "You could make a career out of this."

"Aren't you still a kid?" Lysander asked.

"...I guess," Slepnir said. "I just meant a long time ago. Ow!"

"Ha!" Lillian said triumphantly.

"Should I be supervising this?" Adam asked.

"We're good," Jormungand said. "Slepnir's the oldest, he's responsible."

Fenris turned around in time to see Adam lower his book and give them a skeptical look over the top of it.

"Sure," Adam said, not sounding at all like he meant it. "Do me a favor and don't, like, draw blood or anything."

"They're _wooden toys,_ " Slepnir said.

"You're playing with humans," Adam replied. "We're fragile." And with that, he retreated back behind his book. Slepnir gave Lillian a thoughtful look.

"I'm not _fragile,_ " Lillian said, and tried to whack him in the shin with the broadsword. Slepnir hurriedly blocked it.

"I mean, in comparison, maybe," Lysander said. He'd sat down on the sofa and was staring at nothing in particular with a thoughtful frown. "Also we're not grown up all the way."

"What _ever_ ," Lillian said.

The doorbell rang.

"I got it!" Loki yelled, but Fenris saw a suspiciously Hermes-shaped blur move past the door to the living room. Sure enough, when they all piled up at the entrance to the hallway, Hermes was the one opening the door, and Loki was just coming around the bend.

"I said I _got_ it," he said, not sounding very annoyed.

"Should've been faster, then," Hermes said with a grin. The person who had rung the doorbell turned out to be Hermione, who was brushing snow off her cloak. Behind her was Fleur, who was holding a tiny kid for some reason.

"Aw, you brought Izzy!" Loki said delightedly. "Here, I'll take her, you're gonna need both hands."

"Thanks," Fleur said, without a trace of the accent Fenris remembered. He _did_ remember hearing about Izzy, now that he thought about it; and obviously witches wouldn't have the same problems that two non-magical women would when trying to have a kid together. He couldn't remember why he'd been confused about it.

Fleur handed Izzy over carefully, and Loki balanced her against his hip as the two witches discarded their cloaks. Izzy drooped against Loki's shoulder, one hand grasping at the collar of his jacket.

"Thanks," Hermione said, taking Izzy back from him with a practiced air, and noticed Lillian and Lysander. "Oh, hello, you two. I didn't know you two were going to be here."

"Mum's here too," Lillian offered. She was staring at Hermes.

"Yes, I heard. Oh, Fleur, this is Hermes," Hermione said, turning to her wife. "We met last time I was here, when I came on business."

"Were there toy swords last time?" Fleur asked, looking at Lillian and Slepnir in amusement.

"I'm sure they were somewhere," Hermione said.

" _You're_ Hermes?" Lillian asked, still staring. Hermes leaned against the entryway, looking down at her.

"What were you expecting? A toga? That's Roman, you know."

"So," Lillian said petulantly.

"I'm keeping up with the modern world," Hermes said.

"And you've got the tattoos to prove it," Loki said, grinning when Hermes rolled his eyes. Lillian looked at Hermes with renewed interest.

"Ha, ha," Hermes said dryly. "Pot calling kettle black."

"Mine are from the twelfth century and you know it."

Hermione snorted. "Okay, I'm going to leave you two to whatever this is. Is Luna in there?" She pointed down the hallway.

"Yeah, she's probably wondering where I went."

Slepnir moved to follow as the adults migrated towards the dining room. He tugged Lillian along with him.

"C'mon," he said, when Lillian just looked at him. "There's more room in there."

There was _plenty_ of room in the foyer, even though the extra space came with Scully running around them excitedly and barking as Slepnir tried to show Lillian proper posture. Lillian seemed more interested in trying to hit Slepnir when he wasn't expecting it.

"Okay, enough!" Slepnir said eventually, grabbing Lillian's blade to keep it still. "You can fight someone else, if you're not going to listen."

"Boo," Vali said, having been watching from upstairs for several minutes. "C'mon, Slepnir, loosen up!"

Slepnir stuck out his tongue at Vali. Vali grinned back.

"Hey," Lillian said, turning to look at Fenris. "You said Sigyn was their mum, right?"

"Yes?" Fenris said. "Why?"

"So is Sigyn _your_ mum," she said, turning to Slepnir, "or do you have the same mum as them? Cos you don't look like them, really."

"As Fenris, you mean?" Slepnir asked.

"Yeah."

"Depends," Slepnir said. "I mean, I've had a lot of moms. Dad got remarried but Sigyn _was_ my mom, too."

"Yeah," Jormungand said, joining in just for fun. "What's the definition of a mom? Does someone who just helps raise you count?"

"Obviously," Lysander.

"Well-" Lillian looked reluctant to disagree. " _Yes,_ but that's not what I meant."

"What _did_ you mean, then?" Fenris asked.

"Who's your...original mum?"

"Birth mum?" Lysander suggested.

"Yeah, that." Lillian nodded.

"Dad," Slepnir said.

"...What," Lillian said.

"Dad is," Slepnir repeated. "He can shapeshift." Of course Slepnir would be the only one comfortable enough to bring up shapeshifting so casually. Then again, what had happened to them was only sort of the same thing.

" _Oh_ ," Lillian said.

"Into _anything,_ or just another gender?" Lysander asked. "Is it like Animagus shapeshifting?"

"I don't know," Slepnir said, and turned towards the dining room. "Dad! How does shapeshifting work?" Scully barked to accompany his question. Fenris had picked her up to prevent anyone accidentally hitting her, but she wriggled so much he put her back down.

"Why?" Loki asked, leaning back in his seat to look around Fleur at them. Vali was still on the balcony, apparently fascinated with the conversation.

"They don't believe you're my mom," Slepnir said.

"I didn't say that," Lysander protested, while Hermione nearly snorted her drink out her nose. "I _believe_ you, I just want to know how it works!"

"Wait, wait," Hermione said. "I need an explanation. _Mom?_ "

"I've _told_ you that all of my kids take after their respective moms, why are you surprised? Slepnir is like a tiny copy of me," Loki told her, then shifted his attention to Lysander. "'How it works' is kinda a vague question."

"What can you turn into?" Lysander asked.

"Anything," Loki said plainly. "As long as I know generally how it works. You'd be surprised at the amount of anatomical knowledge this kind of magic requires."

"Can you change into something now?" Lillian asked eagerly.

"Nah, I don't feel like it."

Lillian drooped in disappointment.

"What's an Animagus, anyway?" Slepnir asked Lysander.

"Oh, it's a wizard who can turn into an animal."

"I heard McGonagall can turn into a cat," Lillian said.

"Is it easier for gods?" Fenris heard Fleur ask, and turned around to see her leaning forward like they were sharing a personal conversation. "Pregnancy in general?"

"Absolutely not," Loki replied. "Nine months and everything. Slepnir was almost three weeks late, actually."

"In the Middle Ages?"

"Eleventh century, actually. Is that the Middle Ages? I think it is. Early in that era, then."

"I do _not_ envy you," Fleur said, and patted his shoulder.

"Tell me about it," Loki said. "And it's not like I planned having to deal with that or anything-"

Hermione smacked his shoulder. "Don't say that! He's right there!"

"It's fine! Slepnir knows."

"I know what?" Slepnir looked up when he heard his name.

"You know the general circumstances in which you were born. And also that while I may or may not have enjoyed the process I love you, etc," Loki added.

"Oh. Yeah. You _still_ won't tell me the whole story, though," Slepnir said, as if mentioning that around company might persuade Loki to reveal everything.

"The whole story is inappropriate for children," Loki said, gesturing like he was shooing them off. "Go have fun and fight your brother or something."

Jormungand snickered, picked up Slepnir's toy sword, and turned to Lillian.

" _I'll_ fight if he doesn't want to." She brandished the sword very professionally. Lillian looked delighted.

By the time the two of them got tired of their mock fight (or not so 'mock' - they both looked like they were taking it very seriously) they'd ended up back in the living room, which was now sans Adam. Lysander got distracted by the TV and Jormungand turned on Netflix, to his delight, and then Slepnir started explaining what Scooby-Doo was.

"If your dad is your mom," Lillian asked, while Slepnir was showing Lysander how to pick an episode, "does that mean you have another dad?"

"...Yes," Slepnir said. Lysander paused, putting the remote down.

"Did something happen to him?"

"No." Slepnir shook his head. "I don't think so, anyway. I never actually met him."

"That's rough," Lysander said sympathetically. Slepnir shrugged.

"It's alright. My dad - not my _other_ dad, I mean Loki - is sort of both, so. I can't miss someone I never knew."

"That's mean of him," Lillian said decisively. "If he's your other dad, he should at least try to show up or something."

"I'm not that bothered by it, really," Slepnir said, a little bewildered. "Dad has a lot of family he doesn't really talk to. Or about."

"What? Why?" Even Lysander seemed a little put off by that.

"I dunno." Slepnir shrugged again.

"That's weird," Lillian said.

"Can we just watch the show?" Fenris asked.

* * *

It was late at night when everyone finally dispersed (with the exception of Hermione and Fleur, who had left earlier to put Izzy to bed at a reasonable time). Fenris lingered at the door, and Lysander and Lillian lingered on the other side of it.

"You should write, sometime," Luna told him. "Clear communication can be a good nargle preventative."

"Um," Fenris said.

"I'll remind him," Loki said, his grin practically audible. "Thanks for coming by, Luna."

" _You_ could stand to write once in a while, too," Luna informed him. "It was nice to come here."

"I'll see you at Hogwarts, I guess," Lysander said, shuffling around.

"You too," Fenris replied, frantically trying to think of something more interesting to say. But Luna was already waving and walking away with the twins, so he just waited by the door until they vanished just outside the gates with the _crack_ that always seemed to accompany wizard teleportation.

"So that was fun," Loki said.

"Yeah," Fenris agreed. It had been, surprisingly. He hadn't even been as bothered as he'd expected to be by the conversation about shapeshifting.

"And now," Loki said, closing the door, "bedtime."

"What? No," Jormungand groaned. "We were in the middle of an episode!"

"The show will still be there in the morning," Loki pointed out, but Jormungand's pleading look seemed to melt whatever resolve he had. "All right. Finish this one."

"You too," Fenris said, tugging Loki towards the sofa. Now that the guests were gone, he wanted Loki to hang out with them for a little.

"No, it's okay-"

" _You, too._ "

Loki smiled. "If you insist."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, where would this story be without cool bisexual pseudo-aunt Hermione Granger? Nowhere good, that's where. Also their kid has her hair but it's the color of Fleur's and that's as far as I got with character development for Izzy. If you follow the tumblr I made for this ( @thevesselverse) then you'll probably see a drawing of her eventually!
> 
> Also, the story of how Slepnir...came to be is definitely going to be a separate ficlet at some point.
> 
> Comment, please!


	35. Yule, And Other Celebrations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you guys liked the last chapter! Fair warning, we are now entering the weird gap before the next plot point where I have...no idea what to do. Things should pick up fairly quickly, though! I'll do my best.
> 
> Also, Christmas! Just about in time for the actual holiday! Depending on when this gets posted, anyway. I know they're pagan but c'mon, I might as well. I meant to post it on Christmas, but life happened. Life and depression :/
> 
> Also! I was at my grandma's recently and located the real-life puzzle box that Fenris's is based off of! Hers is very simple, though. Turns out I did remember all the steps :)

Three in the morning was not an unfamiliar time to Fenris. Usually, though, Loki woke up if he tried to sneak out of the bed, and usually he didn't have anything like the puzzle box to distract himself.

Fenris had taken a flashlight from the kitchen (creeping downstairs very carefully) and was sitting in a corner of the dining room that could easily be described as a 'nook' with said flashlight on the table, upright so as to give him enough light to see the box by. He'd figured out two more steps, but none of the sides seemed to open more than a crack. Fenris had the feeling he'd have to get all four open before he could get whatever was inside, out.

The problem wasn't the box, really. The problem was that he kept getting distracted.

It wasn't the dreams. He knew they weren't really dreams, but it _wasn't_ them. It was the way he always felt so jittery and restless when he woke up, like he couldn't stay still, the way he had to go and check just to make sure he still had fingers and everything.

When it was just nightmares, he never felt like this.

Maybe that wasn't true. Fenris pressed his fingers against the smooth wood of the puzzle box, searching for a seam that might show where a piece slid out of place to let him open it. The nightmares had been worse in their own way. _These_ dreams were...something new.

Fenris was half dreading and half anticipating his eventual return to Hogwarts, because returning meant putting himself within walking distance of Hati and Sköll - who had begun to show up in his dreams with almost alarming regularity. He could have been certain, without ever asking Hel, that Hati had been telling the truth about them being friends - but he didn't remember _enough,_ and he still wasn't sure how much he could trust them.

He wasn't... _like_ them, anymore. Did that mean they were still trustworthy? Fenris's most recent dream was still lingering in his mind and vibrating through him in time with his pulse.

Fenris tried to refocus on the puzzle box. Had he already tried pushing the middle to see if it would move? Probably. He tried again anyway. The piece didn't budge.

He didn't really know Hati and Sköll. Dreaming didn't count, even if once he'd dreamed it he could remember it with almost uncomfortable clarity. All they'd done was show up, and he'd agreed to talk to them a few times, so really they were - what? Acquaintances who were also wolves?

"This is pointless," Fenris muttered out loud. He was going in circles in his mind. The dream that had woken him wasn't even that bad. Nothing had happened.

Maybe that was the bad part. Nothing had happened because he hadn't been able to move.

Fenris shivered just remembering it, and tried to shake off the feeling of being bound.

He didn't understand why he kept dreaming that. He also didn't understand why he dreamed of it happening in different ways, like it had happened more than once.

A floorboard creaked. Fenris snatched hurriedly at the flashlight and turned it off, almost dropping the box in the process. It was hard to hold onto; it was half-open and bits of it were sticking out all over the place.

Fenris held it tightly and listened closely, heart beating a little too fast. No one else was awake, were they? Laufey had come in past the wards, that one time. What if it had happened again?

Another floorboard creaked, like someone was walking around. Fenris got up, and as silently as possible crept over to the entrance to the foyer. He stood pressed against the wall for a few moments, listening, and then sprung out with the flashlight, clicking it on.

Slepnir squinted and held his hand up in front of his eyes. "What's _that_ for?"

"Oh," Fenris said. "I thought-" Belatedly, he pointed the flashlight at the floor, instead of at Slepnir's face. "Why are you down here?"

"Why are _you_ down here?" Slepnir asked, for some reason sounding accusing . "I woke up and didn't know where you'd gone."

"It's my house too," Fenris retorted.

"You don't _normally_ go walking around this early."

"Normally Dad wakes up as soon as I move." Fenris turned around, heading back towards where he'd been sitting. Irritatingly, Slepnir followed. He hovered as Fenris put the flashlight back where it had been, and sat down next to him before Fenris had time to get absorbed in solving the puzzle box again. Fenris ignored him.

"Can I ask you something?" Slepnir asked, after a few moments of awkward silence.

"You just did," Fenris muttered, re-trying every single direction the side of the box could conceivably slide towards. Nothing.

"You know what I mean."

"Why do you want to?"

"'Cause it's the middle of the night and we always end up talking about this stuff in the middle of the night."

Fenris looked at him sharply. If he hadn't guessed what Slepnir wanted to ask about already, now he knew.

"No," he said, and went back to the box.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

Slepnir, when Fenris sneaked a glance at him, was frowning; but he didn't ask anyway, at least.

They sat like that for a good while. Slepnir, eventually, started drifting off, but he didn't leave the sofa. To be fair, most of the furniture in the house was very comfortable; but Fenris was weirdly irritated by the way Slepnir wouldn't leave, and his feet kept poking into Fenris's side when he laid down. And when he scooted away from Slepnir, Slepnir jerked himself awake again and sat back up.

He kept _watching_ Fenris.

"Stop it," Fenris said.

"What?" Slepnir blinked furiously and sat up a little straighter.

"You can go back upstairs," Fenris said.

"I don't want to," Slepnir said, making a valiant effort not to yawn.

"Don't be stupid," Fenris snapped. "You don't need to sit here and watch me all night, and it's annoying! Go away."

Slepnir looked unfairly upset, like Fenris was being mean for no reason, when _he w_ as the one being annoying.

"I can stay down here if I want to," he said. "You don't need to be rude."

"I'm not being-" Fenris bit back the automatic retort and settled for shifting to the other end of the sofa, leaving a wide gap in between the two of them, taking the flashlight with him. Slepnir did not attempt to close the distance. After a moment, he laid down again, curling up.

Fenris _finally_ got another side open and was working on the last one, when Slepnir started twitching in his sleep.

Fenris hesitated. The edges of the box bit into his palm. Slepnir made an unhappy-sounding noise.

"Hey." Fenris shook his brother's shoulder. "Wake up!" He had to practically shove Slepnir onto the floor before he woke up, and then Slepnir almost did the exact thing to himself, starting violently and half falling off before he caught himself.

"You were dreaming," Fenris muttered. Slepnir stared at him for a few moments, still caught in the vestiges of sleep.

"Oh," Slepnir said eventually, and pulled himself all the way onto the couch and sat up.

After a few minutes of Slepnir silently trembling, Fenris scooted over and shoved himself against Slepnir's side. Slepnir jumped at the sudden contact, but he sighed deeply and leaned his head against Fenris's shoulder.

Fenris carefully closed all the little pieces of the box, and then muttered, "You can try, if you want."

Slepnir looked startled, but took the box. "Thanks."

"Just do the puzzle."

Slepnir only ended up concentrating for long enough to get one side open before saying, "Do you ever just...feel wrong?"

Fenris didn't answer. Slepnir was halfway to getting another side open before he admitted, quietly, "Yes."

Slepnir glanced over at him. Fenris pretended he hadn't noticed.

"Is this what it's like for you?" He asked. "Remembering?"

"No," Fenris said, and then reluctantly admitted, "Not all of it." He waited a minute, then said, "How come you don't? Remember?"

"I don't know." Slepnir put the box down on the table next to the flashlight. "How come you _do_?"

Fenris slumped down a little. Vali's words echoed in his head again. _Hel got rid of all that magic and you're still hanging on to the tiniest traces because you don't want to deal with it!_

"I dunno," he said. "Maybe-" He cut himself off.

"Maybe what?" Slepnir asked.

"Maybe it wasn't as bad for you," Fenris said. Without really thinking, he felt at the scar around one of his wrists, the tiny bump of it still there even through the fabric of his pajamas.

Slepnir's gaze dropped to watch Fenris's hands, and Fenris quickly let go.

"I don't see why that would make me remember less," Slepnir said.

"I said maybe," Fenris said. "It was just a thought."

Slepnir leaned back, tilting his head to bump slightly against the wall.

"I don't see why _he_ even wanted me," he said. Fenris didn't have to ask who 'he' was - there was only one 'he' Slepnir would refer to in _that_ tone. "I wasn't in the prophecy or whatever."

"Who knows why he did _anything,_ " Fenris snapped, leaning forward to snatch the box up again. "Jormungand wasn't either but it still happened."

"Well, I _want_ to know!" Slepnir said. "I don't understand why it happened! Dad and him were supposed to be-"

"It _doesn't matter,_ " Fenris interrupted, rounding on him. "It's already done! It's over!"

"I don't think it is!" Slepnir's hands were shaking again. "You're the one who's been attacked over this! How can you - something's _going_ to happen. Or it's about to happen. Everyone keeps _saying_ so."

"No one's said that-"

" _Narvi_ said so! To your face!" Slepnir interrupted. " _Laufey_ said that Asgard was stirring. If they think-"

"How would you know what they think?"

"Dad _said_ what the prophecy was! Isn't it obvious? They think us getting out is going to start the end of the world, and I don't know what that's going to make them do!"

"They-" Fenris was so taken aback that for a moment he only stared. "They _what?_ How is that _obvious?_ "

"You didn't - Dad _said_ it was Ragnarök-"

"Who says we have anything to do with that?!"

"I-" Slepnir pressed the heel of his palm against his forehead. He looked confused, brow furrowed.

"Dad said Ragnarök never happened," Fenris said. "I asked. I mean, _obviously_ it didn't, everything's still here."

"I didn't say it _happened,_ " Slepnir snapped. He was still pressing down on his forehead, fingers digging in. "I don't-"

On some kind of instinct, Fenris reached up and pried Slepnir's hand away. Slepnir looked surprised; maybe he hadn't realized how much force he was using.

"Did you remember something?" Fenris asked warily.

"No," Slepnir said, but he didn't sound very certain, which only put Fenris more on edge. "I think - no. I didn't. It's - it's probably nothing," he finished, unconvincingly.

They sat in awkward silence for a while. A little belatedly, Fenris let go of Slepnir's hand.

"Sorry for yelling," Slepnir mumbled, after a few moments more.

"Oh - um. Okay," Fenris said awkwardly. At a loss for anything else to do, he picked the puzzle box back up and started working on it again.

* * *

"Why are you two down _here_?"

Fenris rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Whuh?" Under him, Slepnir made a noise of protest and shifted, nearly dislodging Fenris, who must have slumped against him after they'd fallen asleep.

Jormungand pulled one of Fenris's eyelids open. He batted the prying hand away.

"Why are _you_ down here?" Slepnir groaned.

"It's _Christmas,_ " Jormungand said.

"Who cares," Fenris mumbled. "I don't think Jesus was even real, and if he was I don't care. And it's the _twenty-first._ "

"It's just a name! This was Yule first, and anyway we've got _presents._ " Jormungand tugged on his arm. "How late were _you_ up?"

"Does it matter?" Slepnir pried himself off the sofa, leaving Fenris to collapse onto the cushions. " _Six thirty?_ Jormungand," Slepnir groaned, obviously spotting a clock.

"I waited half an hour before I came to find you," Jormungand said. "This is a perfectly okay time to get up. Come _on._ "

Fenris let himself be blearily dragged into the living room, _very_ used to this kind of behavior from his siblings but a little bemused at its sudden revival. He wasn't entirely sure where the tree had come from, given that he didn't think they'd bought one this year, but presents _would_ look a little weird just stacked around a random spot on the floor.

"Hold on, I have to go get dad," Jormungand said, darting back out into the hallway. Slepnir immediately fell face-first onto the sofa, legs dragging in the most ungraceful way possible onto the ground.

"The _sun_ isn't even up," he complained, muffled by the cushions. Fenris rubbed his eyes again, wiping away the grit that mysteriously accumulated during sleep, and started investigating the tags on the nearest gifts. Someone (probably Loki, given he'd also probably conjured it up) had decorated the tree. It looked very fancy. Fenris sort of wished they'd gotten one earlier. He liked decorating them. Mostly for the company and less for the actual process of hanging up a bunch of ornaments.

The lights were nice, though, all red and green. Especially since the sun _wasn't_ up yet, but that hadn't stopped Jormungand.

Jormungand returned fairly quickly, a surprisingly awake Loki in tow with Scully at _his_ heels. Loki was sipping from a mug of what smelled like coffee and doing a remarkable job of not spilling any of it despite being tugged along urgently.

"You know there's no time limit, right?" Loki said. "The presents don't vanish if they're still wrapped by eight o'clock. We've discussed this before."

"So," Jormungand said archly, making it a statement instead of a question and grabbing a small present from way underneath the tree. "This one is for you."

"Thank you, I have no idea what it could be." Loki took the roughly candy-bar-sized package. "I'm sure you don't need permission to open your own."

Jormungand was ripping open wrapping paper before he finished saying 'you'.

Fenris had several with his name on them shoved at him, and even Slepnir managed to rouse himself from the sofa and participate. Adam stumbled out of bed an hour or so later, a little cross at not being woken up, but he ripped open his own presents with the kind of glee that Fenris generally expected from Jormungand. A little more understated, probably because Adam was older, but still.

By the time Hel showed up, shiny wrapping paper was in shreds everywhere (mostly not in the trash can), Adam was on his third coffee, Scully was gnawing on an empty ribbon spool that Loki was trying to tug away from her, and Slepnir was trying to build a Lego tower tall enough to touch the ceiling.

"Oh," Hel said. "Did I miss the party?"

"It was yesterday," Fenris said, flat on his back on the floor and debating whether he could get away with going back to sleep.

"It's alright, nothing much happened," Loki said, grinning at her and allowing Scully to jump onto his lap, finally pulling the now somewhat chewed and wet ribbon spool away. "And hey, good timing nonetheless!"

"It's okay, you're still in time for my birthday," Slepnir said, leaning around his impending disaster of a tower. "Where were you?"

"Taking care of things," Hel said, pulling her cloak off and tossing it onto the sofa. "Ganglati can't be trusted to run things forever."

"Who's Ganglati?" Adam asked.

"A friend of mine," Hel replied. "And before you ask, yes, he's dead."

"I don't get why you put him in charge, anyway," Loki commented. Fenris didn't, either, having heard plenty of stories about Ganglati, who was some kind of servant and always seemed to let things fall into disrepair while Hel was gone.

"He's only partly in charge," Hel countered. "He's just very good at avoiding people who try and get him to work. Which is within reason, as I'm technically doing the same thing right now." And she sat down on the floor next to Slepnir. "You may need someone a little taller soon enough."

"Probably," Slepnir said speculatively. "I was just going to build a second tower and then put it on top of the first one without breaking it."

"What if you run out of Legos?" Jormungand asked, idly flipping a page. There had been a lot of books under the tree.

"I'm not gonna run out."

They ran out. Loki offered to conjure more, but Slepnir said it wouldn't be in the spirit of the project, whatever that meant. The tower ended up being taller than Loki, despite the lack of resources.

"I bet it's taller than Hermes, too," Loki mused. "He's always been a jerk about being taller than me. It'd be funny to see him outclassed."

"Where is he, anyway?" Hel asked. "I figured everyone would be down here."

"Sigyn and Hermes both..." Loki made a face. "Anyway, Muriel's not actually here, which is why she was not present for the present-opening."

"Oh, speaking of presents." Hel turned around to pull a small package out of the pocket of her cloak. "I heard there was a birthday party other than the usual festivities."

Slepnir brightened, and caught the present easily when Hel tossed it at him. "Thanks!" The wrapping paper was discarded so fast it was nearly a blur. He held up the little medallion inside to squint at it. "This looks familiar, a little..."

"It's called _Ægishjálmur,_ " Hel said, as Fenris sat up and leaned over to look at it. The medallion, which was bone-white (and given who had given it to Slepnir, he'd really prefer not to think about what it might be made of), had a dark red symbol carved into it, eight lines extending from a small central circle. Each line had a series of cross-hatches and a semicircle on the end.

"What does it do?" Slepnir asked, looking over at Hel.

"Oh, the usual. Strike fear into your enemies, prevent abuses of power from them."

"Cool," Slepnir said, and tucked it into his pocket.

"Do you have to do anything with it?" Fenris asked, leaning back against the sofa from his seat on the floor.

"No, just carry it with you." Hel paused. "I believe that's all. It's not the kind of sigil you'd use in a spell."

"But there _are_ sigils that can be?"

"Of course." Hel cast an amused glance at Loki. "Don't you know that?"

"Hey, he's been busy at Hogwarts," Loki said. "I didn't want to confuse him."

"Wizard magic is boring," Fenris said, shuffling around to look up at Loki. "It's all just memorizing words and movements."

"And I'm sure that opinion has nothing to do with how it's more difficult than you're used to," Loki said dryly. Fenris stuck his tongue out at him.

" _I'd_ settle for any magic," Adam commented almost wistfully.

"There are plenty of rituals that don't require inherent power," Loki pointed out.

"Yeah, but my only trustworthy resource is Sam and Dean, and if I asked them they'd freak out," Adam said. "Besides, I'm not into the whole blood-magic witchcraft thing that seems to be going on back home."

"I'm _offended,_ you don't think I'm trustworthy?" Loki grinned at him. " _Me?_ "

"Should I?" Adam rolled his eyes and got up. "I need more coffee before this conversation goes any farther."

" _We_ don't use blood magic," Fenris said, as Adam walked out.

"He's talking about human magic," Loki said, shrugging and scratching Scully behind one ear. Scully was smiling, tongue lolling out. "People find creative ways to get their hands on power."

"We could probably use it if we wanted," Jormungand said throughtfully.

"What situation are you imagining where blood magic is necessary?" Loki was smiling, but he looked to be somewhere between amused and bewildered.

"I dunno," Jormungand said. "But we _could._ "

"Yeah _,_ there's nothing _physically barring_ any of us from doing it," Loki agreed. "It's generally more of a last resort, though."

"In your experience?" Hel asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"How often do you think I've practiced that kind of magic?" Loki scoffed. Hel shrugged. "Like I said, last resort."

"What's the first resort, then?" Jormungand asked, which led into a conversation on magic that derailed into Jormungand proposing increasingly ridiculous situations and Loki suggesting ways to get out of them, which was still going when Hermes finally left his room.

"Hey!" Jormungand said, turning to face him. "What would you do if you were in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of angry dryads and then a whale came out of nowhere?"

"...Dryads?" Hermes asked, after pausing for a moment like he was trying to decipher the question. "In the _ocean?_ "

Jormungand shrugged, looking at Hermes expectantly.

"Don't question it," Loki said, still on the sofa - Scully hadn't moved, which meant he couldn't.

"Am I allowed to have a boat in this situation?" Hermes asked, eyeing the still-assembled tower. Slepnir was arranging several toy people to make it look like they were climbing it.

Jormungand thought about it for a moment. "Sure."

"I'd call Zephyrus and tell him to blow my way," Hermes said. "Or one of the other three, if he didn't pick up."

"That's cheating," Jormungand accused.

"How is that cheating? All you did was ask me what I'd do!"

"You're in a modern boat," Jormungand improvised. "No sails."

"Now who's cheating?"

"We've already had that argument," Loki said. "Additions are allowed from the person making it up."

" _Fine,_ " Hermes said, rolling his eyes. "I'll call Poseidon instead and ask him to get rid of the whale."

"I guess that's better than _dad's_ solution," Jormungand conceded.

"Hey," Loki protested, at the same time that Hermes said "Oh, what did he do this time?" in the kind of voice that suggested he anticipated it being something ridiculous.

"All I _said_ was a perfectly reasonable solution to a _different_ problem-" Loki started.

"No," Jormungand interrupted, "you said you'd fake your death."

"You said I was being chased by someone I couldn't beat in a fight or trick! Step one in that scenario is always fake your death!"

"No, it's _not,_ " Hermes snorted. "Step one is _never_ 'fake your death', you're just paranoid and overdramatic."

"And you're _rude,_ " Loki said, partially drowned out by Jormungand's laughter.

"If I'm rude, what does that make you?" Hermes retorted.

"I'm _astonished_ that you'd ever imply something so terrible about me! I'll have you know that when I feel like expending the effort I am a perfect gentleman!"

Loki and Hermes got locked in a teasing back-and-forth that lasted for most of the morning, and they seemed prepared to carry on with it indefinitely. Fenris only meant to sit down and wait it out, maybe look through one of the old books that he'd gotten as a present, but he found himself shaking awake in a far emptier room than he remembered, with more sunlight coming through the windows and at a different angle than before.

"Good afternoon," Hermes said, reclined in a chair that didn't actually recline, and as a consequence had his legs stretched out in front of him. He was reading a book with a Greek title in obnoxiously colored letters.

"I-" Fenris felt as though he was trying to catch his breath. "Where'd everyone go?"

"Oh, scattered to the four corners of the house, I'm sure," Hermes said. "I think Loki's upstairs."

Fenris nodded and got to his feet, half surprised that his legs actually held him, what with how shaky he felt. Was he actually shaking, or was he just feeling weird?

He got to the hallway outside the kitchen alright, but then someone said "Norns, are you alright?" and he turned to see Sigyn in the kitchen, staring at him in surprise. "You look like you've seen a _draugr._ "

"That's - I'm okay," Fenris said awkwardly. A nightmare about a _draugr_ would have been better, really - at least he'd never seen any of them in real life.

"Sit down," Sigyn said, apparently not in the least fooled by his feeble excuse. Fenris shuffled in and sat. "What happened?"

"Just a dream," Fenris muttered.

"Mmm. 'Just'?"

Fenris stared at the tabletop. He wished he had his puzzle box, but he'd left it with his other presents.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

Fenris opened his mouth to refuse, and then closed it again, suddenly unsure.

"Fenris?"

"I keep dreaming about being tied up," he blurted out. Sigyn's mug _clink_ ed as she sharply put it down. "I mean - not just being tied, but that too. It - it keeps actually happening to me. People doing that to me. In my dreams."

"I'm sorry," Sigyn said.

"It's okay. I'm used to it."

"You _shouldn't_ be." Sigyn's vehemence startled him. Evidently noticing, Sigyn huffed out a sigh and gentled her tone. "Sorry. I mean that none of you should have to deal with stuff like this." She looked away, propping her chin in her hand. "I don't know what else to tell you to make it better."

Fenris didn't know what to say to that, because he didn't know what to do about it either. He didn't expect Sigyn to make it better in the space of a single conversation. He didn't really expect her to be able to make it better at all.

"It's okay," Fenris said again, in lieu of any better options, and to make Sigyn feel better added, "I talked to Vali a little about it, so, it really is. He said the same thing happened to him...?"

He trailed off, because Sigyn looked rather shocked - no, spooked. Spooked was the right word. Her knuckles were white where she was clutching at her mug.

"Not exactly the same," Sigyn said stiffly. "That's good."

"Yeah." Fenris lasted through about three seconds of the silence hanging between them before blurting, "I left something upstairs," and bolting.

What _had_ happened to Vali and Narvi, to make her react like that?

* * *

Fenris stayed upstairs until Slepnir came up and got him. It was still Slepnir's birthday, or close enough to when it _had_ been, before the calendar changed. There was cake downstairs, so Fenris went.

Hermes and Loki laughed and talked together in a corner for most of the evening, so Fenris didn't feel so bad about lurking on the sofa while Slepnir and Jormungand argued over whether it was allowed for someone to own more than one car in Life. They kept dropping their forks to point at various parts of the rules and getting little smears of frosting on the game's board. Loki was keeping a tight hold on Scully so that she didn't eat any chocolate on accident.

"Maybe I have a lot of kids-" Slepnir argued.

"You can't land on _that_ many 'Have a kid' spaces unless you cheat," Jormungand retorted.

"Maybe I'm lucky!"

"Not _that_ lucky."

Luckily, the argument didn't last much longer than the game itself, which was abandoned rather abruptly when Loki offered to let Slepnir light their belated Yule bonfire.

"When did you have time to do this?" Vali asked, surveying the area of the backyard that had been cleared of snow (and the giant mounds of snow around it), along with the ground hearth piled with logs.

"Seriously, none of you noticed me in the backyard?" Loki asked, handing Slepnir a box of matches. Fenris sat down on the stairs of the back porch, which were surprisingly dry. Scully was standing just inside the door, tail wagging frantically, but apparently didn't want to leave the warmth of the house.

"I doubt you did this manually," Sigyn said dryly. Hermes had vanished somewhere in the process of Loki herding them all outside, and she'd drifted into the proceedings. Fenris thought it might have been because Yule was a more Norse holiday. Maybe Hermes wasn't interested in a bonfire.

"Yeah, fine, I used magic," Loki admitted. "Go ahead, Slepnir."

"It won't catch," Slepnir complained, but he soon managed to get a match lit and tossed it onto the pile. Either they were very dry, or soaked in some flammable oil, because it lit quickly. The flames grew and then settled, as much as fire ever settled. Fenris watched the sparks fly off the top of it and vanish into the dark sky.

"What now?" Jormungand asked. Slepnir went to go stand closer to the fire.

"Snacks," Loki decreed. "I'll get something. Slepnir, if you fall into that fire it's going to be your own fault."

"I'll be careful!" Slepnir protested as Loki went back inside. "It's not like I've never done this before," he said into the fire, as the screen door swung shut. Fenris could hear Scully's nails on the floor as she trotted off after Loki.

The bonfire was melting the snow closest to it. Fenris watched it happen, propping his chin in both hands. The grass that was revealed to still be under the snow was brown and wet, like it had been crushed under hundreds of people's shoes constantly. Or a foot and a half of snow for a week.

"Okay, we've got chips, everything else would get cold too fast," Loki announced, kicking the door open. Fenris twisted around to see him carrying a very large bag of the kind that seemed universal to snack foods, and two slightly frosted-over bottles in the other hand.

"English chips?" Narvi asked.

"If I meant English chips I'd say french fries. Here, take these." Loki tossed the bag at him. "Found _these_ in the back of the fridge, too. You want one?" He offered one to Sigyn.

Sigyn raised her eyebrows as soon as she got a look at the label. "No, thanks." She'd brought out a small book and was reading it, sitting on the porch swing next to Vali.

"More for me, then."

"What is it?" Fenris asked as Loki sat down next to him, sticking one bottle into the closest drift of snow and popping the cap off the other. He caught the word 'chocolate' on the label. "Can I have some?"

"Alcoholic, and no," Loki said.

"It says 'chocolate'," Fenris said, frowning.

"It can't be both?"

" _Can_ it?" Jormungand asked, from the top stair (which was only one above the one Fenris was sitting on).

"Humans are very inventive," Loki said, and took a drink.

"That stupid chocolate liquer is all you ever get," Vali complained.

"Hey, _you_ can drink it if you want! Anyone overage, and I mean not a child, is welcome."

"It's not alcoholic enough for the taste to be worth it."

"It's _delicious,_ " Loki sniffed, and took another swig. Fenris snorted. He couldn't help but think Vali was probably right, in this case. He'd had a tiny sip of mead once, that Loki had given him when he wouldn't stop asking. It was (supposedly) made from honey, but it had still tasted gross.

The fire warmed Fenris even from a distance, occasionally buffeting him with a cloud of hot air when the wind was right. It was countered by the chilly breezes that managed to sneak around the house and hit Fenris from behind, with little warning except for the flicker of the flames.

"I bet this is what Ginnungagap feels like," Fenris said idly. Loki snorted.

"I don't think a little snow and fire really compare," he said, once he'd swallowed his mouthful.

"I don't think we have a _little_ of either," Jormungand said, eyebrows raised, and pointedly side-eyed the fire that Slepnir had by now beaten a retreat from and the snow blanketing the yard and weighing down the branches of the trees that hid them from their neighbors.

"In comparison to Muspelheim and Niflheim?" Loki prompted.

"It's still a _lot._ "

"You should tell that story," Fenris said absently. It wasn't until he said it that he realized that he really did want to hear Loki tell the story.

"What, now?"

"Yeah!" Slepnir backed Fenris up enthusiastically. "We should do _something_ for Yule, we're already doing it late. Tell a story!"

"Would anyone else like to vote?" Loki asked dryly, twisting around to look at Sigyn and the twins. Sigyn didn't look up from her book. Vali raised his hands as if to say 'don't look at me'.

"I don't mind," Narvi offered.

"What a ringing endorsement," Loki scoffed, turning back around. Nevertheless, he leaned back like he was getting comfortable. "Okay. So. In the beginning, there was only Ginnungagap.

"That's how the story starts, traditionally, but to say that there was _only_ Ginnungagap is a little misleading. Rather, the only thing that had come into creation yet was Ginnungagap; it was created out of necessity, to keep Muspelheim and Niflheim far apart.

"The two realms needed to be separate, because they were as different as two realms could possibly be. Muspelheim was full of fire and too hot for any but the native Jötnar to bear. And Niflheim was dark, and so cold a person could freeze just getting too close." Loki grinned and gestured dramatically, leaning in towards Fenris. Fenris smiled despite the overdone dramatics. "They were separated, but in Ginnungagap, they also met. Muspelheim gave off sparks and heat, and Niflheim gave off bitter cold, and in the middle they met and mixed.

"The heat made something very curious happen. Some of the ice in Niflheim, the parts very closest to Muspelheim, began to melt and drip everywhere. And some of that meltwater gathered in Ginnungagap, and it began to take shape. All that water, influenced by things or circumstances that may no longer exist, formed something new. Not just the first of the Jötnar, but the first of all living things; Ymir."

Loki managed to make it sound so _spooky,_ and sort of thrilling. The story never changed.

"Ymir wasn't alone for long, though. The frost thawing out made something else, a little later, named Auðhumbla." Loki grinned, breaking the dramatic demeanor that had settled over him. "You remember her?"

"The cow," Jormungand supplied.

"Yup, because every good story needs a cow. And at least one giant. Ymir fulfills that particular necessity, but he didn't stay alone for long. Creation, once started, is difficult to stop. From various body parts he inadvertently made three more Jötnar, and those three made more among themselves, and that was the beginning of the race of giants.

" _But,_ there was still yet more to come. Auðhumbla began licking at the ice from Niflheim, looking for salt in it, and as she licked it away something began to take shape. Some _one,_ in truth. And when he emerged, he was not Jötnar at all, but the first of something else."

"The gods," Slepnir said.

"Well, if _you'd_ like to tell this story, just go ahead and interrupt me, how 'bout?" Loki said, fondly exasperated. "Go on, what comes next?"

"I'm not trying to _tell_ it," Slepnir protested. "It was Búri, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was Búri." Loki gestured as if to tell him to continue.

"You tell it better. I don't want to." Slepnir crossed his arms.

"No interruptions, then," Loki warned, pointing his bottle at Slepnir. "So. Búri was not very important, in terms of what he did. But even though he was the only one of his kind around, he managed to have a son, Borr. And Borr shortly married one of Ymir's daughters, Bestla, and they had three sons: Vili, Vé, and - Borrsson."

Fenris did not miss Loki stumble over the words, hesitating for a tiny but noticeable moment. He didn't say anything about it. He'd heard the story before; he knew who Borr's third son was.

Oðin.

"Now, this whole time," Loki continued, a little softer, "Ymir had been fast asleep, through everything that had happened around him. But the three sons did not like him, for whatever reason they used to justify their thoughts to themselves. And because Ymir was asleep, it was very easy for Borrsson to sneak up and kill him."

Loki looked almost wry as he continued. "They hadn't planned on Ymir's size, though, and so when he bled it nearly drowned the lot of them. The three sons escaped, but no one knows what happened to their father or mother, and only a few giants made it out. And so Borrsson was very nearly the end of the Jötnar, and might have seen us off completely if he hadn't been preoccupied with saving himself.

"With the death of Ymir, things were thrown into chaos among those already living, but potential was also created. There was a seed of sorts planted, in what remained of him, but it was not like any seed the gods knew or understood. They hacked Ymir up to get at it, and used his remains to build new realms, so that they did not have to live in the unbearable heat or cold of Muspelheim or Niflheim.

"They made the dwarves out of parasites that had crawled into the mess, and charged four of them with holding up the sky; they cast the sparks from Muspelheim up into the sky and made them into stars and the sun and moon, and told them which paths to follow and when. And as a concession, to placate them, they gave the surviving Jötnar some land, near the great deep sea that surrounded them.

"But still Borr's sons did not feel safe, even with the Jötnar and the dwarves - the Svartálfar - far away from them. And so they built a stronghold far away from the sea, and named it Miðgarð."

"That's not where they live," Fenris protested.

"I was _getting_ there," Loki said, elbowing Fenris lightly. "It was their stronghold, but not their home, as it turned out. They built it to protect other people. In the very center of the world, at the top of the tree that had grown from Ymir and spread branches far up and roots far below, they built Asgard. And when they found that it was the best and brightest of all the realms they had made so far, they claimed it for themselves. And so Yggdrasil, the world tree, and the nine realms came to be."

There was silence for a moment, with only the crackle of the fire to break it; and then Vali said, "That's not how I remember the story going."

"You've never heard the Jötun version before," Loki laughed, and stood up. Fenris looked up at him in surprise.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I'm hungry. There's more food inside than there is out here." Loki shrugged. "You want anything, since we've got a bunch of chip hogs out here?"

"Hey," Narvi said defensively, putting a handful of chips back in the bag.

"No thanks," Fenris said absently. He was thinking about what Vali had said. Was the story really different for a godly audience? What kind of story did Asgard tell about what had happened? It couldn't have changed that much.

Then again, how likely were the gods to lie to make themselves look better? Oðin had murdered his grandfather - or great-grandfather, Fenris corrected himself - because he'd thought Ymir had been evil. And Ymir hadn't even been awake to _do_ anything, much less anything that could have been taken as evil.

What else might they have lied about?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long absence, but long chapter! Hope you enjoy! Reminder: Jötnar is the plural of Jötun, or giant!


	36. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad you guys liked the last chapter! I'm a fan of it myself. BTW, I wrote a story about Slepnir's birth (and the circumstances surrounding that) that I posted recently - check it out!
> 
> I won't say much, but there is some interesting stuff coming up soon! Keep an eye out for foreshadowing...and there might be some action this chapter, but honestly I won't know until I'm done writing it.

_"Someone's coming," Sköll said, ears pricked, staring towards the open end of the quarry.  
_

_Hati stirred, and Fenris hauled himself to his feet. The quarry was not deep, nor was it very protected. All they'd wanted was somewhere big enough to rest peacefully without being out in the open.  
_

_Was it too much to ask to be left_ alone?

_"How many?" Hati asked._

_"Can't tell. Smells like Æsir."_

_"How close?"_

_The forest came alive with figures with swords.  
_

_Fenris lunged forward, snapping at the first person he could get at. A sword bit into the side of his muzzle, but he ignored it. It was too small to bother him.  
_

_The Æsir were a little bigger._

_It seemed like a blur, clawing and biting until he had somehow ended up on his side, pressed against the quarry wall and floor. There were a lot of sharp swords, and Sköll was crouched defensively over Hati, bloody teeth bared. Fenris could not see what had happened to Hati.  
_

_They had tried to wind a cord around his ankles. Fenris dug his claws into the stone and stood rigid, refusing to let them move him. He would not let this happen again, this_ would _not happen, not now, not to him if he could help it!_

 _One of them had thrown himself across Fenris's muzzle, trying to stop him from opening it. They'd see how well_ that _would work._

_Fenris twisted, trying to slip out of the cord's grasp. It took a few tries to shake the Ás off his muzzle, tries that came at the cost of the cord drawing a little tighter, Sköll yelping as some sword found its way home and cut her or worse-  
_

_Fenris snarled. He slashed at the Æsir - how dare they-_

_A sword cut deeply into his ankle._

_Fenris yelped, and for only a moment, his solid stance faltered._

_The cord drew his ankles tight together._

_It was enchanted. That much was obvious. The Æsir beat a hasty retreat and the cord kept winding itself around him on its own. Fenris pressed himself close to the stone, but it kept going, magically unhindered. Either Sköll or Hati bit down on it, pulling desperately with a snarl, but it didn't stop. Soon Fenris felt a nose pressed into his side, and whoever it was was forced to let go a moment later.  
_

_He was not going to let them get away with this-_

_Fenris lashed out at as many Æsir as he could reach, trying desperately to get as many of them as he could - they'd change their minds when their friends lay dying - he lunged forward with a howl as the cord lashed his front legs together._

_Something jabbed into his mouth, cutting through his tongue and forcing him to keep it open-_

And Fenris woke up, clutching his mouth so hard his fingertips were going numb, hot tears trickling down his face.

He breathed harshly through his fingers. His hands were shaking. Or maybe he was shaking. He felt sweaty and tense, like he'd just run a hundred miles. Carefully, Fenris let go. His mouth did not hurt. His hands shook harder.

Fenris flexed his hands, fisted them, and flattened his arms at his side. He tried to forget what claws felt like.

But it was difficult to forget what blood had felt like under them.

Fenris jerked, eyes shooting open, when a larger, warmer hand curled under his. Not holding his; just touching.

He looked to the side. Loki's eyes were open a crack, gazing at him.

Silently, Fenris turned and curled into Loki, clutching at his arm too tightly and pressing his face against his dad's chest. Loki's hand twitched like he wanted to hold Fenris close, too, but he didn't try and move. Maybe he could feel Fenris shivering.

Fenris closed his eyes and told himself he'd forget the dream in the morning.

* * *

There were only a few days left in winter break, and they seemed to blur past until the day Fenris was to head back to Hogwarts. He let himself he driven there, tugged along to Platform 9 3/4, his trunk deposited for him in the luggage carriage.

Loki, however, did not say goodbye. He studied Fenris with unusually serious eyes, instead.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "You've had a rough coupla days, it seems like. You don't have to go."

Fenris wished Loki hadn't offered, because he was _really_ tempted to accept.

"I'll be okay," he said. "I can't leave in the middle of the year."

Loki scoffed, but it didn't seem like it was aimed at Fenris. "Okay." He spread his arms, cocking one eyebrow in invitation. Fenris hesitated for half a second, then darted forward to hug his dad.

Loki's hands settled lightly on his back, like he wasn't sure how tight he was allowed to hold Fenris. He squeezed a little for a brief moment, and then let go.

"You got a train to catch, if you're staying," he said.

"I know," Fenris said. Loki gestured him off, and Fenris went.

He didn't look back until he had both feet firmly on the train. Loki was still on the platform, watching, half-swallowed by the crowd of other parents.

Fenris went to find an empty compartment. In the time it took him to close the door, drop his backpack, and press himself against the window, Loki had vanished into the crowd.

Fenris sank into the bench seat. He had not been able to find either Lysander or Lillian on the platform; he figured he would simply wait for them to show up. It would be harder for them to find each other if they were all moving around.

The train lurched, and pulled out of the station. Fenris watched London pass by, and then stood up to reach into his backpack and draw out his wand.

He'd barely touched it since it had been bought for him, much less used it. Even in school, he avoided doing so whenever possible. The simple fact was that he didn't have the right kind of magic that this wand was meant to channel; it had been a fluke in the wandmaker's shop that had made the old man decide on it. Or so it seemed to Fenris, at least. Whenever he was forced to use it, he had to struggle to create the right kind of reaction, or else cheat and figure out how to do it his own way.

The second way would be easier if he didn't have to hide what he was doing. Maybe Muriel would have let him, but their Defense professor never would have, nor would Flitwick. The only classes Fenris was really any good at were the ones that didn't require wand magic. He liked Herbology and Potions alright, now that he thought about whether he did or not; they were fun, and Herbology was actually quite engaging. Literally, counting that one time he and Lysander and Xavier had had to wrestle a plant back into its pot. The plant had been very insistent about getting loose, and it had possessed a multitude of vines that moved quickly. Xavier had nearly gotten strangled, but then Sprout had intervened and pushed them all out of the way.

That had been fun, but not that much. It was still the most fun he'd had at Hogwarts, now that he really compared it to being at home.

And he had five more years to go. Five and a half, counting the rest of the current year.

But he couldn't leave in the middle of the year. He'd decided to go to wizard school, and he'd stick with that decision. Or maybe he could get himself kicked out for poor grades. Fenris twisted his wand in his hand thoughtfully, looking down at it again. He'd heard that people got their wands snapped when they were expelled. Did that happen if you were let go for poor grades?

He couldn't remember what the wand was made of. Something something unicorn hair, he was pretty sure. He'd like to see a unicorn; he wasn't used to being somewhere where they actually existed outside of stories. He doubted they'd let him get very close, though.

Fenris put his wand away and distracted himself by breathing on the window and drawing little pictures in the fog.

The train passed out of London. The sun sank a little lower. It would probably be pitch black outside by the time they get to school - the sun set so early in the winter. There was still a ridiculous amount of snow on the ground, which at least made it easier to distinguish where the horizon was. For now, all that snow was reflecting the light straight into Fenris's eyes.

He drew a shell on the window, like Jormungand had done, and then a couple sloppy fish, and then wiped everything away and started over. He got through a couple more repetitions of that process, drawing various things, before the compartment door slid open behind him. Strangely, it was Lillian by herself.

" _There_ you are," she huffed. "I've been looking everywhere."

"Sorry, I didn't see you on the platform." Fenris frowned slightly as Lillian threw the door shut, dropped her bag on the floor, and flopped onto the seat opposite him.

"We were late." Lillian scowled at nothing in particular. "It doesn't matter."

"Where's Lysander?"

"Talking to some other Hufflepuff friend." Lillian shrugged and looking out the window. Fenris tried to think of who it could be. Someone in their year, probably. Damnit, he still wasn't sure he knew everybody's names and faces. "He'll show up eventually."

Fenris didn't know what to say. Lillian glowered at the floor. He briefly contemplated asking what was wrong, because something obviously was, but he thought Lillian might actually try to bite off his head if he did.

Fenris went back to drawing on the window. After a few moments, Lillian scooted over on her side and started trying to do the same.

"How are you getting it to stick so long?" She demanded, after a few failed attempts at more complicated patterns.

"Magic."

"I'm serious."

"So am I," Fenris protested.

"Making window fog stick longer is magic?"

"I'm just fiddling with the heat of the window. It's not that hard."

"Oh, it's not, it's just wandless and nonverbal magic."

"Wandless and nonverbal doesn't mean much when I don't _need_ either of those things," Fenris pointed out. Lillian huffed and flopped over again to lie down across the whole seat.

"Whatever." She closed her eyes. Fenris didn't think she was asleep, or even trying to fall asleep, but he stayed quiet anyway.

The sun set far enough to be not shining in Fenris's eyes, nearly hiding behind the horizon. A clatter made Fenris turn around, but it was only the door opening; Lysander saw Lillian lying down, and sheepishly closed the door a little more carefully, which did not do much about the noise.

"Hi," he said, sitting down next to Fenris. "Is that supposed to be a tree?"

Fenris looked at the thing he'd been drawing on the window, and shrugged. He'd meant it to be lightning, but it had come out wonky, so he'd just added what he thought were artistic-looking scribbles. He wiped it away and started on something new.

Lysander, even quiet as he usually was, seemed unusually silent. He slouched in his seat and kicked his heels against the floor. Fenris fidgeted a little. He was fine with silence, but normally he didn't _get_ any, especially not around Lillian.

"Did something happen?" He asked eventually, unable to stand holding his curiosity in a moment longer. Lysander looked at him sharply, but his expression wasn't angry; Lillian opened her eyes.

"Why would something have happened?" Lysander asked, completely failing to sound casual.

"You're both acting weird," Fenris pointed out. "Lillian's being _quiet._ "

"It's not like it's _been_ that long," Lillian mumbled.

"It's been _hours._ " Fenris cast a skeptical, pointed glance out the window, but he wasn't sure she caught it. The sun had definitely set by now, though, and the lights had come on inside the train a while ago. Only the snow on the ground gave any indication of where the ground ended and the sky began.

"It's nothing," Lysander said. "Some...stuff happened over break."

"After you came over?" They'd seemed fine _then._

"Yeah." Lysander kicked his heels again, staring at his feet (or maybe the floor) and to all appearances done talking. Fenris had given up finding anything else out when Lysander blurted out, "Our dad came to visit."

Lillian made a sound somewhere between a groan and a growl. She'd closed her eyes again, and her arms were crossed tightly over her chest.

"That's it?" Fenris said blankly.

"It's not - you know we're adopted, right?"

" _No,_ " Fenris said, surprised. "Why would I know that?" Their mom was a lot paler than them, true, but Loki was a lot paler than Fenris. And Fenris had always thought Lysander and Lillian did resemble their mom - or maybe it was just that the three of them were all blonde. "What does that have to do with this?"

"Mum's not _married,_ " Lysander said. "So - our dad isn't, well-" He grappled valiantly for the right words for a moment or two, and then settled on, "He gave us up for adoption and it's weird to have him walk in after thirteen years and try to be our dad again."

"I thought you were twelve," Fenris said.

"Our birthday was in November and that's not the point," Lysander said. "The point is-"

Lillian got up with a loud, pointed huff and stormed out, throwing the door shut behind her with a clatter.

"Lillian's upset," Lysander said, in the ensuing silence.

"Wow, I hadn't noticed." Fenris gave him a dry look, but he still felt mostly curious. "Is it - I mean, I guess your dad never tried to talk to you before?"

"I never knew who my dad _was,_ " Lysander sighed, slouching further. "Lillian and me - we knew _someone_ had given us up to be adopted, but we didn't know which parent had done it. We didn't even know what their names were. _Nothing._ And he just - showed up on Christmas morning and we didn't know who he was supposed to be or why he was at our house."

Fenris couldn't imagine what that had been like - having a parent that was a complete mystery, because they hadn't wanted to know you. That sounded terrible.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"I - well, mum told us who he was, and Lillian stormed off and refused to come out of her room, so..." Lysander looked faintly guilty, for some reason. "He said he wanted to talk, so I - I let him talk. I couldn't, you know, just - I'm not like Lillian. It seemed rude to leave him alone with Mum when he came for us?"

"Like, to-?"

"Oh, no. _No._ " Lysander looked apprehensive. "To talk. Not to take us away. You don't think he could do that, could you?"

Fenris shrugged. He'd never met anyone who was adopted - that seemed like a more modern thing to him. If someone had a child back when he was a kid, they either took care of it or abandoned it. And if someone had been adopted and their father showed up to take them home, the father probably would have had the right. Unless the adopted parents were royalty, maybe, or nobility of some kind.

"That can't be legal," Lysander said, sounding more like he was reassuring himself.

"I don't think so," Fenris said. So much had changed, he wouldn't be surprised if the father no longer had rights like that. Lysander and Lillian didn't even _have_ a father, in their adoptive family at least.

"I don't think he wanted to, anyway," Lysander said, fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve. "He seemed - distracted? He didn't stay very long." He was quiet for a moment, and then, "He said he only gave up me and Lillian because he was too busy to take care of kids."

"What about your mom? Other mom," Fenris corrected himself.

"I - I don't know. I didn't think of asking." Lysander looked troubled. "I don't think I need another mum."

"Alright," Fenris said, and let the conversation end there. He didn't want to talk anymore about moms, because-

...Just because.

* * *

Lillian wandered back in hours later, evidently having judged (correctly) that neither Fenris nor Lysander could possibly have carried on a conversation for _that_ long. But she didn't get any more talkative, and though Lysander was more his usual self, he was quiet by nature. So the rest of the ride to Hogwarts was boring and seemed much longer than it actually was.

Getting off the train, when it pulled into the station, plunged them into a sea of black-robed children. Fenris tensed at every careless student that bumped into him, or shoved past, and was wound tight when Lysander grabbed his hand and tugged him towards an empty carriage. Lillian had vanished after spotting a Slytherin friend in the crowd, and the carriage began to move as soon as the two of them were sitting down. Fenris glanced, distracted, at the thestrals, which were nearly invisible in the twilight, coupled with the snow-free road.

The darkness crowded up against the edges of the carriage, but there was a lantern hanging at the front, and once they got up to the school everything was awash in yellow light. Fenris tried not to look like he was walking too fast to get inside.

He hadn't seen anything move inside the Forbidden Forest, not on the way up, but that didn't mean there wasn't anything. And he definitely hadn't been looking for a flash of blue eyes.

There was a feast, like there always was, and everything seemed like it was just as Fenris had left it - nothing had changed, except him.

Winter break had been too short, but the last time he'd been at Hogwarts might as well have been a year ago.

"Hey," Lysander said, breaking Fenris out of his thoughts. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Fenris managed to conjure up a smile. "Just thinking." It would be fine. So a lot had happened over break - he could deal with it. He knew _more_ about his own situation - wasn't that better?

Lying in bed, waiting for everyone else to settle down and with no intention of going back to sleep, it was hard to keep thinking that.

Fenris stared at the ceiling, mind buzzing with questions. Should he go visit Hati and Sköll? They were right outside in the forest - if he went looking, they'd find him if he couldn't track them down. He felt nervous and agitated at the idea, but...less afraid. Maybe because the story of the prophecy had assured him that Hati and Sköll actually were a few of the only ones that might be on his side; maybe because he'd dreamed about being with them so peacefully, as opposed to his regular nightmares, that he'd gotten used to the idea.

Did they know about the prophecy? Fenris didn't know if he'd have been able to tell them. He didn't remember ever hearing about it before, but that didn't count for much. Had they really tried to help him? He had been free in some of the memories - had they broken him out?

Fenris absentmindedly rubbed his wrist, and the scar there. He knew what it was - it looked like a dog bite, but he doubted it had been a dog. Could he really trust them, or was there another explanation?

Something rustled, like rapid movement against a thick blanket, and Fenris's attention was wrenched back to the dorm. Nothing else moved for a moment or two, and then there was more shuffling, a couple light steps, and the curtain around his bed parted.

"I had a bad dream," Lysander whispered. "Can I-?"

Fenris rolled over wordlessly. Lysander let the curtain fall shut, making the bed dip as he got settled. He felt a shaky breath on the back of his neck.

"Can we talk?" Lysander breathed.

"Yeah?" Fenris matched his volume.

"I just - mum said it helps, to talk about stuff."

Fenris turned over, trying to stay quiet about it. "Like nightmares?" He knew he sounded skeptical; he didn't try to hide it.

"Well, yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It worked over last summer."

"What happened - oh." The cultists. Fenris had almost forgotten about them. That had been almost a year ago, though.

"I guess it wasn't as scary for you," Lysander said, a little wryly.

"I...didn't realize it was that bad." Fenris had been scared, but they were only human.

...Then again, so was Lysander.

"It's...the dreams aren't, really. I just dream about what happened. Except you never show up. Or Lo - your dad." Lysander shifted, and for a moment his knee bumped against Fenris's leg.

"Memories can be scary," Fenris said, very quietly. For a minute or two, the only noise was of their breathing.

"Is that what you dream about?" Lysander asked, just as quietly.

Fenris breathed carefully in, then out.

"Sometimes," he said softly. "I don't remember any of it, so I can't tell if I'm dreaming or remembering. And I can't ask anyone else to make sure." Except maybe Hati and Sköll.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" Lysander had never done anything to him.

"I...I'm sorry that it happened to you?" Lysander clarified. "It's what people say."

"Oh."

Fenris counted his breaths. In, out. In, out.

"Do you-"

"Go to sleep, Lysander." Fenris turned over, putting his back to Lysander again. They had school in the morning, and he'd rather not be too tired for it on top of everything else.

"...Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Fenris. He's just trying to help.
> 
> Comment, please!


	37. The Wolves' Perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! New chapter! I SWEAR I'm going to try and get some actual plot stuff done this time. Pinky promise cross my heart.
> 
> I'm sorry this took a while to post, but I have like four other WIPs and my inspiration to work on them is fleeting. I have mixed feelings at best about this story, and there's so much I want to do that I don't know if I'll be able to include, but I'll give it my best shot.
> 
> Good news, though, I know how this ends now! :D I'm going to try making chapters a little longer, to avoid prolonging the story with weird plot-less bits, so we'll see how that goes.
> 
> This story may be going on a mini hiatus for a while, since I'm sorting out a lot of writerly stuff (especially within this 'verse) as well as my impending graduation, so there's a lot on my plate. Hope you don't mind!

School was exactly as Fenris remembered it, which was unfortunate.

Lysander stuck close to him for most of the day - which, as they had the same classes, wasn't difficult. Lillian was far more elusive, being in a different House and often distracted by her Slytherin friends. But occasionally, she'd come over to eat with them; or really, to bug Lysander.

"I don't see why you don't like Potions," she said, dropping herself into the middle of a conversation and also right in between Lysander and Fenris. Both of them scooted a little to the side reflexively.

"I was talking to Xander, not you," Lysander said, frowning. "And I just don't. It's too complicated."

"Not really," said Fenris, who actually liked Potions. There were no wands involved, and it was somewhat familiar, if with vastly different ingredients and concoctions than the ones he'd known when he was younger.

"Don't take _her_ side." Lysander looked almost betrayed. Lillian looked delighted.

"See, _he_ knows what I mean." She stole half of Lysander's sandwich and bit into it, talking around her mouthful. "You just don't like anything that could explode."

"That's a perfectly reasonable to limit to put on my life."

"Yeah, but it's _boring._ "

Lysander rolled his eyes. He turned to Fenris, but whatever he was going to say or do turned into a frown. "Why aren't you eating?"

"I'm eating," Fenris protested. There was food on his plate and everything. Lysander just raised his eyes at him. Fenris tore a piece off his sandwich and ate it, just to make a point.

"Wow," Lillian said, dragging the vowel out. "No wonder your roommates think you like each other."

"They _what,_ " Lysander sputtered. Fenris frowned. Lysander didn't sound offended, just surprised, which was...new. Fenris sort of wished this had been one of the topics his father had covered about the time they were living in. Lysander looked at Xander, sitting across from them, who studiously avoided meeting his gaze.

"Marisol said she overheard some of your dormmates talking about it." Nonchalantly, Lillian stole Lysander's brownie and shoved it in her mouth before he could grab it back. "Why were you sharing a bed?" She asked around it, barely understandably.

Lysander flushed, eyes flicking to the other Hufflepuffs around them. "It wasn't - I had a bad dream."

Lillian frowned, and swallowed. "What for?"

"I didn't have it on _purpose._ "

Someone shouted Lillian's name from the Slytherin table, making her turn fast enough that her ponytail smacked Fenris's cheek. Fenris leaned away, blinking to get rid of the feeling of hair poking his eye.

"Gotta go," Lillian said, spewing brownie crumbs and spinning around to dart away. Fenris watched her go.

"I know she talks a lot," he commented to Lysander, "but sometimes I wish she'd actually finish a conversation."

" _I_ don't mind," Lysander muttered, still blushing a little. "She always brings up stuff if she knows I'll get uncomfortable."

That sounded like a weird thing for Lillian to do, but it wasn't like Fenris knew her nearly as well. Lysander had switched back to staring at Xander, as if that would make him reveal his secrets.

"I didn't say anything," Xander protested after a few uncomfortable moments. Fenris wondered if he was actually intimidated by Lysander, or just being nice and telling him. "It's none of my business what you do about nightmares." Nobody else was sitting very close to them, but they were also paying way less attention - or pretending to - than usual.

This was very familiar, Fenris mused. Humans were very gossipy.

" _Nobody_ should be saying anything," Lysander hissed.

"It's not that big of a deal, c'mon." Xander rolled his eyes. "Fenris doesn't mind."

"Just because I'm not saying anything doesn't mean I don't have anything to say," Fenris said sharply. He hated when people underestimated him because he looked like a child and got presumptuous.

Xander suddenly became very preoccupied with his plate. Lysander stared at him for another moment or two like he wanted to say something else, but turned away eventually.

"Does it bother you?" He asked Fenris in an undertone. Fenris shrugged.

"Lots of people say things about me that aren't true. It doesn't matter."

"Who's saying things about you?" Lysander switched back to 'defense' in an instant. It was a nice feeling, seeing Lysander get immediately fired up on his behalf, but kind of useless.

"Nobody you know." The book he still hadn't read a word of had been written long before even Fenris was born, much less Lysander. The thought occurred to Fenris that at least _some_ of it had to be true, but he ignored it. Or tried to, at least. "People say what they want about me. It's not like myths say anything reliable."

"Oh, you mean people like _-_ " Lysander glanced around warily. " _Worshippers._ "

"Yeah."

"That's too bad. That it's all wrong, I mean."

Fenris shrugged again, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Can't do anything about it now."

* * *

Why was it wrong?

Fenris didn't know how exactly myths ended up recorded by human hands, but it had to happen _somehow._ And every other pantheon had the same kind of stories - so why were the ones about his family the only ones that got it wrong?

Did people just love the gods that much?

He had too many questions that needed answering. Fenris was sick and tired of it, and he only knew one thing he could do that would get him answers.

He sat in the common room, purposefully unnoticeable, until all but the oldest students had gone to bed, and sneaked through the nighttime halls of the castle and outside.

It was colder inside the Forest than it was on the school's wide lawns, or at least it seemed like it should be. The cold had never bothered Fenris enough to make him put on more than his robe. The snow that clung to his boots and the hem of his robes was annoying, though. It was darker inside the Forest, too, despite the bareness of the tree branches that was hardly made up for by the occasional evergreen.

Fenris walked deeper, eyes on the ground, looking for pawprints.

The Forest manages to get gloomier, the farther in he walks. Fenris tries not to think about how he's technically breaking one of Muriel's rules; this isn't Muriel's business, anyway. If anything, it's godly business, and that makes him straighten a little and try harder to distinguish regular shadows and various shallow tracks from the prints he's looking for.

Fenris stopped once, to squint suspiciously at a couple depressions in the snow that might have been snowed-in prints, and the noise of his footsteps continued for a second longer, slightly behind him.

Fenris didn't turn around right away. He pretended to scrutinize the prints for a little longer, and thought about where the noise had come from.

There was a faint noise, like a very gentle footstep.

Fenris whirled around, one hand going to the inside pocket of his robe, the other lashing out. Something in the shadows darted out of the way, moving rapidly through spots of moonlight.

"What was _that_ for?" Came the demand, yellow eyes flashing between the trees. Fenris kept his hand in his pocket, grasping the hilt of his father's gift. He didn't think he'd ever need to use it. The owner of the voice slunk closer, revealing brown fur and lips curled up to show a flash of teeth.

"You were following me," Fenris said, watching Sköll warily.

"You're wandering around like a moron, in _this_ forest, at night." Sköll's snarl looked a lot more menacing than it was meant to be. Fenris hoped so, at least. "What are you reaching for?"

"Nothing." Fenris put his hand back at his side. Sköll's aggression put him on edge, and if he could have he'd have kept a hold of his father's gift, despite its non-reassuring size.

"Didn't look like nothing."

"It doesn't matter," Fenris said, a little sharper. "Just - listen, I have to ask you something."

"Like what?" Sköll sounded like she'd be frowning, if she were human. "I thought you didn't trust us." She was also making a spirited effort at sounding as snide as possible.

"I barely _know_ you." Fenris scowled at her. "Should I?"

"You used to," Sköll sniffed.

"I told you what happened! I don't remember you, so it doesn't matter what it _used_ to be like."

"Oh, so both of us telling you isn't good enough for you?"

"Why should I?" Infuriated, Fenris yanked his sleeve up, displaying the bite scar on his wrist. Sköll's ears flattened. "This is from one of you, isn't it? You haven't given me any reason to believe anything you say!"

"Then why are you here?" Sköll snarled, but she looked less overtly aggressive. Fenris might have called her body language ashamed - she'd crouched closer to the ground, ears still flattened.

"You're the only ones I can ask." Fenris let his sleeve drop. "You were the only ones there, weren't you? With me?"

"So you believe that?" Sköll asked sourly.

"My sister said you were there," Fenris said. "When she came for me."

"You talked to _her_ about it?"

"I don't have a lot of options, okay!"

"Fine!" Sköll snarled. "Ask your questions, then. Or should I just tell you everything from the beginning-"

"Just _stop!_ " Fenris snapped. "It's not _like_ that!"

"Then what is it like?" Sköll's tail was lashing again.

"I-" Fenris raked his hand through his hair, combing his bangs back. As if that would help him concentrate on what he wanted to say. "I dream. Sometimes. And I don't know if I'm remembering or-"

" _Dreams?_ "

"Just let me finish!" Fenris pushed his sleeve up again. "If you want to tell me things so badly, let's start with this! Why did you bite me?"

Sköll's ears flattened a little again.

"We were trying to help," she said. "You were a little tied up for most of the time."

"That's not funny," Fenris snapped.

"I'm not _trying_ to be."

"Then why-" Fenris breathed in, pushing his sleeve back down and looking at the ground. "When I remember - or dream - whichever! I keep - I remember being bound, but it keeps happening differently. Tell me why."

"It _did_ happen differently," Sköll said. "They had to do it more than once. Three times, in fact."

" _Why?_ "

"You broke the first two chains."

Fenris paused at that. His hand drifted down to rub his wrist, and for a moment there was the pressure of something winding around him and restraining him, but a split second later it splintered - the phantom echo of a hard _push_ and shattering metal.

"Hello?" Sköll said, and Fenris jolted out of his thoughts, realizing that she was much closer than she'd been a minute ago. He took a hurried step back. Sköll was pretty large, as wolves went. "Would you like to talk or zone out?"

Fenris didn't even tell her to stop. It seemed like a lost cause, at this point. He raked his bangs out of his face again, instead. He needed a haircut, maybe - no. He had to keep his thoughts straight, or he'd never be able to ask the right questions.

"Why did it work the third time?" He asked.

"Oh, they had to go to the dwarves. Turns out it's really hard to break something if it's made out of shit that doesn't technically exist." Sköll snorted derisively. "Dwarves." There was more than a hint of teeth to the word - her lips curled up and she practically spat it out.

Knowing they'd made his bonds, Fenris didn't think he liked them much either.

"How do you make something out of things that don't exist?"

" _I_ don't know," Sköll said. "All I know is that we couldn't break it, and you couldn't, and I doubt a sword would have worked either."

Fenris gripped his wrist tighter, then realized he was doing it and let go. "But it _was_ broken-"

"Yeah, obviously," Sköll said. "Your sister's got strange stuff. _And_ access to the dwarves that made it, probably."

"...Strange stuff?" Fenris asked, in lieu of other, more difficult questions.

"You know." Sköll shrugged, which looked very strange and was more of a wolfish pushup. "Dead stuff. Old magic. If it's been practiced, she can probably get her hands on whoever practiced it, and they're not going to say no to anything _she_ asks them."

"Oh, you mean the _dead,_ " Fenris said. "You could have said so."

"Who else could I _possibly_ be talking about?"

"I dunno." Fenris glanced around, and brushed some snow off a nearby log so he could sit down. Dampness still soaked into his robes when he did. "I don't think of her like that."

"What, as-" Sköll hesitated, and then said carefully, "queen of the dead?"

"I know what she _is,_ " Fenris said. "But she's my sister. And still technically younger than me," he added as an afterthought. "Even if I forgot a lot of stuff."

"What, really?" Sköll's ears perked up. "She's your _little_ sister?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

"What?"

"It's just weird," Sköll said. "You don't think of someone like her as somebody's little sister."

"Well, she _is_."

"I heard you the first time." Sköll sat down too, pawing some of the snow out of the way.

"Do you have any siblings?" Fenris asked, finding that he was actually curious about the answer. The thought had sprung to his lips without any real conscious effort.

"Uh, _yeah,_ Hati." Sköll gave him an incredulous look, but then drooped a little. "Right. You don't remember."

"Hait?" Fenris repeated, surprised.

"Wolf packs are always related to each other." Sköll shuffled around and then settled onto her belly. "We don't just wander around and find some random wolves to live with. That would be stupid."

"I guess." Fenris had never put much thought into the habits of wolves. Sköll looked at him quietly for a moment, her yellow gaze piercing. Before he'd met them, Fenris had remembered that much, dreamed of yellow eyes when he'd gotten poisoned. Back then, he'd thought it looked like his own eye color, but that must have just been a trick his own fevered mind had played, or maybe he'd misremembered. Sköll's eyes only looked remotely human because of the intelligence that lay behind them.

"What _do_ you remember about us?" She asked, jolting Fenris out of his thoughts.

"Not much," Fenris answered honestly. "I...only dream sometimes, and never for very long. Just bits and pieces, with you two there."

"What kind of bits and pieces?"

"Nothing important." Fenris hesitated. "I don't think."

"You don't _think?_ "

"It's hard to hold onto what I remember."

"Try."

Fenris hesitated again. A moment ago, they'd been arguing, and Sköll didn't seem particularly nice. But the thought that had driven him out into the Forest was still true: Hati and Sköll were the only ones he could ask and get solid answers from, and if he refused to give them any information in exchange they'd be well within their rights to leave and never talk to him again.

Fenris wasn't sure if he thought that was a good thing or not.

"It used to be just - impressions," he said. "Nothing really solid. I dreamed about Asgard, once." He blinked in surprise - he hadn't remembered that until he'd said it, strangely enough.

"Asgard?" Sköll raised her head a little higher, ears pricking up. "But you never lived there."

"How do you - nevermind." She'd probably say that _he'd_ told her and just didn't remember, which might even be true. "I've - been there, once or twice. Before anyone _took_ me there. My dad used to let me come with him sometimes." Loki had never said why, exactly, he did so, but at the time Fenris had been curious to see the place his father told so many stories about.

A rustle in the bushes made them both look over sharply. Fenris only caught a flash of moonlight on grey fur before a yawning voice said,

"What're you doing all the way over _here..._ "

Hati stopped dead when he saw Sköll wasn't alone.

"Uh," Fenris said.

"Great fucking timing, loser," Sköll said. "I _just_ got him to calm down."

"Hey!"

"What are _you_ doing here?" Hati said, sounding bewildered, and then quickly added, "Not that that's a bad thing."

"We _were_ talking," Sköll said before Fenris could even open his mouth. "He says he's been remembering things by dreaming about them."

"Really?!" Hati's shocked gaze shot to Fenris. "Why?"

"What do you mean, _why?_ " Fenris asked, at a loss for anything else to say.

"I don't know how you lost them in the first place, but it's a safe guess that pretty powerful magic was involved," Hati said. "Wouldn't it take the same to create the reverse effect?"

Sköll looked at Fenris sharply, this time.

"No," Fenris said, flatly. "Nothing happened. Nobody enchanted me, either. There hasn't-" A thought occurred to him.

"What?" Hati asked, when Fenris didn't finish.

"There...there was Tyr," Fenris admitted.

" _What?"_ Sköll and Hati said simultaneously. Hati laid his ears back, while Sköll leaped to her feet, snarling. "That slimy little Ás! How?"

"I don't know!" Fenris stared, taken aback by the strength of her reaction.

"You don't think the Bifröst can reach this far, do you?" Hati asked.

" _We_ got here-"

"Yeah, but we didn't use the Bifröst-"

"I'm saying there's more than one way," Sköll snapped. She whirled around to face Fenris again. "What did he do?"

Fenris grimaced at being reminded of the incident. "Tried to poison me."

"He what?!" Sköll was so furious that she reverted to Norse. " _That cowardly bastard! I'll kill him! That-_ " Fenris stared as Sköll devolved into more creative insults.

Even Hati's fur was bristling, his lips drawn back to show his teeth. Unlike Sköll, he managed to stay still, and otherwise looked calm. Fenris still glanced at him warily.

"I'm not surprised," Hati said in a low growl. "He's hated you ever since you bit his hand off." Fenris surprised himself by how little he reacted to that. Hati, however, caught his tiny flinch. "You didn't remember that?"

"...Maybe." Dreams of blood in his mouth and something crunching between his teeth. He'd _bitten_ a man's hand off.

"It was better than he deserved." Hati's lip curled disdainfully.

"Why?"

Hati seemed taken aback for a moment, and then sighed. "You don't remember. Right."

"Don't remember what?" Fenris frowned.

"You always hated him, too. The whole hand thing was his bargain so you'd stay still enough to be bound, the way you told it, and it was a rigged bargain. They were never going to let you go. Tyr was just the only one willing to actually take the fall for it. Bunch of cowards."

" _N_ _íðing, vardropi, horasson-_ " Sköll was still roundly insulting Tyr. Fenris was beginning to feel uncomfortable - he'd encountered some foul-mouthed people over the course of his life, but _sheesh_.

"I don't know why he was here," Fenris said. "We haven't done anything except leave. You'd think if they were so scared of whatever we were going to do they'd _want_ us to do that."

Hati and Sköll exchanged a look. Or rather, Hati looked surprised, looked at Sköll, and then kicked Sköll so she would look at him.

"What you were 'going to do'?" Hati echoed, looking back at Fenris, and then yelped when Sköll bit him. "Ow! I was trying to get you to pay attention!"

"Yeah," Fenris said, scowling. "Dad was telling us - we _got_ him to tell us why the Æsir did it in the first place. There was some prophecy that people assumed was about us, and stuff like that."

"What kind of prophecy?" Hati asked.

"You must have been prophesied to do some real impressive shit," Sköll said.

"Does killing Odin count?" Fenris asked.

Both wolves exchanged quick, startled looks - nothing like their pointed gazes from before. Fenris was beginning to feel left out.

"That's specific," Hati said.

"It was in the prophecy."

"Would you?" Sköll's voice was oddly quiet.

"I think so," Fenris said. "I wouldn't feel bad about doing it, anyway." Then he yawned. It took him by surprise; it was a real yawn, too, the kind that made his jaw ache from the strength of it. He must have been up later than he thought.

"Maybe you should go back up to the castle," Hati said.

"Come back, though," Sköll said.

"...Sure," Fenris said, rubbing his face. Now that he was paying attention to himself, his eyelids were heavy and aching, and his bed in the quiet Hufflepuff dorm seemed more attractive a destination than ever.

It was a quiet and boring trudge back up to the school. Hati and Sköll trailed him part of the way, padding along through the snow, but they fell away when the trees started thinning out. Fenris yawned again as he made it out onto the empty lawns, and it took him two tries to crack open the doors to get back inside.

It also took him a few moments to process the pointed throat-clearing noise someone was making.

Fenris's stomach dropped when he looked up and saw Muriel standing halfway up the Entrance Hall staircase. Her arms were crossed over her chest.

"I distinctly remember telling you _not_ to go out in the Forest at night," Muriel said.

"You're not my dad," Fenris said, and then winced. He could do better than _that_. He could see Muriel's frown even across the distance separating them.

"While you are a student here, like it or not, you obey the same rules as every other student." Muriel slowly descended, tone much more formal than Fenris had ever heard from her. "The Forest is _dangerous,_ and like it or not going into it at night is also dangerous, no matter how much you want to."

"I'm dangerous," Fenris retorted. Muriel arched one eyebrow skeptically.

"You're a child," she said.

"Nothing bad happened-"

 _"Yet,"_ Muriel said severely.

"I don't think it's _that_ bad," Fenris muttered, looking down at the floor.

"Would you think that after you had been attacked by Acromantula?" Muriel asked sharply. "Or kicked out by centaurs who were tired of you infringing on their grounds? Godhood does not make you invulnerable."

"I _know_ that," Fenris said acidly, but he also said it quietly, so it didn't really have the same effect. "I get it. Can I go back to my dorm?"

Muriel frowned down at him for a few moments, then sighed. "Do you promise not to do it anymore?"

"Yeah," Fenris grumbled.

"Fine. Go. And I expect to see you in class bright and early."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo long chapter! Hopefully this will tide you guys over until the next one.
> 
> Read and review!


	38. note

Hey guys, just so you know (I may have warned about this last chapter) this story is gonna be on a pretty long/indefinite hiatus. I just finished up editing and reposting chapters of the Accidental Vessel, but what happens here is gonna be a little different.

For starters, ML was kind of halfassed originally, so the story will probably change a lot more? Just looking at what I've edited so far. I have a far more coherent idea of what I want from the characters than I did when I started, and I've done a lot more research and understand some of my source material better (as well as some characterizations). I don't think any major plot points will change (though we've only reached one or two so far), but what _will_ change will definitely warrant a reread.

Additionally, the number of chapters might change, depending on my experimentation with certain bits, because some chapters in this are way shorter than they need to be and don't serve any recognizable purpose within the story.

Honestly, when I started writing this, I was in a terrible place in regards to how I handled the quality of my writing. As of now, I have a much better handle on that, especially in terms of editing. I used to finish a chapter and just post it immediately, sometimes with no idea of what was going to happen next, while now I tend to write more than is going to be in that chapter. That might mean I post some new stuff and then vanish again until I've finished the story before continuing to post. I don't think I want to do that, so I probably won't, but there may be even more of a wait between chapters, though those chapters will probably be much better overall.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know! I don't know how much time I'll have for writing, given general trouble coupled with all the other stuff life might throw at me, but I'll try and get a decent bit in before summer ends and I go off to college. This story means a lot to me, as well as this series in general, and your support and sticking around will mean even more. I guess I just ask that you be patient! I'm trying to make this as good as possible.

Thanks!

**Author's Note:**

> Only Loki would give his kid a fake last name that was also a pun [Lysmith == Lie Smith :)].
> 
> Comment, please! I know it's short, but I don't have as much to work with off the bat as I did with tAV.


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